(S40) PT #1 - Media Mayhem

[Acsolap]

Shl affiliate

[jollyjiggs]

Written option:

Look, Legs McMillion is used to insensitive and prying questions about how he plays football and does various tasks that a pair of legs should struggle to do. He's heard it all before. That is, until his final post-DSFL draft question. An unknown reporter put Legs McMillion on the spot when asking how he likes his pasta. You see, usually the questions regarding food are related to how he eats it- never his interests in how it's made. Legs started sweating and rapidly tapping his foot. The reporter repeats the question, "is there any specific way you like pasta to be made? Chicken Alfredo? Basil pesto? Maybe just some red sauce?"

Legs McMillion stands out of his chair at the podium (no one notices because this doesn't change his height). He's been a national sensation for years now and has done multiple interviews. He doesn't shy away from hard questions. But this..... this is so much more personal. Legs McMillion has worked so hard for the 'cool guy' image he has today. He doesn't want to lose it all by answering this question, but he doesn't want to be seen as someone who run away either. He's got to answer it.

"Buttered noodles."

"Excuse me?" the reporter says.

"Butter on spaghetti noodles." Legs repeats.

"Uhh, I.. uh, that's... not very adventurous." the reporter's words stumble out.

"I am a pair of legs. I won gold in the Paralympics. I have some of the best kick returning records in college football. I was able to get drafted into the DSFL. And I am a picky eater."

Audible gasps can be heard in the room, followed by an air of awkward silence. Some other reporters leave the room shaking their heads in disbelief. An older gentleman still in his seat can be found crying profusely into his notebook. You can hear the production team frantically yelling at each other to go to commercial and get this off the air. Finally, from the chaos, the original reporter commands the attention of the room.

"Leave this on air!" states the reporter. "Legs, it's okay to be a picky eater. I'm one too, and I finally feel safe sharing this with the world. Everyone," the reporter looks directly into the camera, "I eat buttered noodles too!"

The room is totally silent. Then, it erupts in cheer. The crying old man is now clapping with tears of joy. Confetti drops from the ceiling. Then everyone shuffles out of the room and carries on with their lives.

"What the hell is this league?" Legs says out loud to himself as he scurries back into the locker room.

[TheRake]

Q: Rico, you considered yourself the best Safety prospect in this class but you were the 2nd Safety drafted and not until the 7th pick, what does that say about how you perceive yourself as a player?

A: I think that’s a little disrespectful to Mary Marie, to be honest. They’re a great player and just as deserving of the 1OA as anyone. I think every player should believe they are the best at their position. I think that confidence in myself actually has a big effect of how I play on the field. When I’m out there, I don’t second guess myself, which gives me a huge advantage. I know I’ve put in the preparation and hard work to be the best, so when my instincts tell me to do something, I do it without hesitation and I think that’s a big reason why I went in the 1st Round of the DSFL draft.

[RussDrivesTheBus]

I've only ever walked out of one interview in my career. As the league's only sentient potato, I understand that there is a fascination and tons of questions; and that's totally ok! I'm happy to answer just about all of them. Though, I have toyed with the idea of creating an FAQ page for those curious about me and others like me. But in my time, I've heard just about everything. "Do the extra eyes help you see the filed better?" "Do you have to starch your clothes?" "When you shower, do you use cold water to keep from cooking?" (No, No, Yes) All valid and interesting questions. But on the day in question, the reporter crossed the line and I'll never forget it. Things had gone pretty normally up to this point, but I felt the energy change a bit when the smirk crossed his face. He leaned back, looked at his note card and asked, "What is your favorite French Fry?"

[MikeWhiskey]

"Tank, there have been rumors that you would be a better corner than linebacker. Care to comment?"

First of all, anyone who thinks they could do this job better than me are more than welcome to come try. I fill the role the team needs from me. I share the field with some amazing veterans, guys who know their business. Spicy Ron is one of the best in the biz, and the way he flies around the field man, hard to beat it. So I drop back a little and cover the defensive backfield. This leads to some great pick opportunities for me, and some extra pass coverage. You and I know that my big ass can't get out there and keep up with these wide receivers. So, yeah, I've heard people talking. That's all it is, just talk man. Come game day, I'll be out there laying it down. You don't need to talk about it when you can be about it. Don't ever ask me something stupid like this again man, you're better than that.

Code:

176 words

[ElMerchanto]

"Mr. Brand, there's talk of how given your recent position change & relative newcomer status to the sport, you might not be able to live up to the pressure that comes with being a first round pick? How do you feel about that?

Well first off - I don't see being taken in the first round as additional performance pressure at all. If anything it takes a load off my mind as it's a massive vote of confidence for Dallas to have selected me when they did. They know they got their guy and it spurs me on to prove them right. Also, to put any fears about my positional inexperience aside, the Linebacker role is a lot more similar to my duties back in the rugby days, so I actually got to transfer a whole load more of my experience and skills from the past into it. All in all, I think any fears about me settling in to the system will be put to rest, I'm more than eager to bet on myself here.

[platanocat]

Question: 
Rocky some speculation has grown about the nature of your diet consisting almost entirely of meat; or more specifically chickens. Is this diet plan coming from the team nutritionist?

Response:
Listen, you guys already know almost every aspect of my life. I don’t feel great about about now having to also publicly comment on what I eat, but fine. Yes. I love shredded deli chicken. I eat it for breakfast, and I eat if for dinner. I even eat some when I’m a good boy at my physicals and check-ups with the team doctor. It’s high in protein and has just about everything I need. Plus I just love it. What do you guys want. I’m like 15 years old. I’m gunna eat whatever I freaking want. But to answer your question more directly: no, deli chicken isn’t the only thing I eat. I also really love cookies. Look at me. I’m a veteran athlete who weighs in at a monster 17 pounds of pure muscle. This what peak efficiency looks like.

[bjkman]

Newscaster: Before the Berlin Fire Salamanders kick-off there season tomorrow morning. There has been a growing controversy with one of their Star cornerbacks. Our sports reporter has the story.

Reporter: A cornerback for the Berlin Fire Salamanders is under a possible suspension for calling the team reporter an "expletive no-talent hack" after being called the same thing by said reporter. I spoke with Johnny Delusional and got his side of the story

Johnny: Yeah after being drafted in the first round I've been a great team player, and while I might not be the defensive rookie of the year I might have been in the DSFL, my stats show that I am important to this team none-the-less.

Reporter: And what can you do to try and block out the "haters"?

Johnny: The only thing I can do is try and prove them wrong on the football field this season.

Newscaster: As always you can watch your Fire Salamanders here on channel 5. They open the season tonight in Hawaii against the Honolulu Hahalua at 7am local time on Tuesday.

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179 Words

[Quasi]

Interviewer: We're here with Sticky Hands, who just got drafted to the Norfolk Seawolves. Sticky Hands, your performance in the prospect bowl sure had it's moments. What do you attribute your success to?

Sticky Hands: Thank you, it was a great series of games. Honestly, I think it was just a matter of focus and concentration. I've been practicing really hard, and I think it paid off on the field. The game I had with the 65 yard rush for a touch down was a career best for me.

Interviewer: We couldn't help but notice that your hands seem to be covered in honey and you're making a mess of the podium.

Sticky Hands: Hey man, that's out of bounds. I nearly lost my life in my youth when I was struck by lightning while being chased by a swarm of bees. Now, I forever ooze honey when my palms sweat. I turned a disaster into a treasured gift by helping to feed the hungry in Africa. Serving my self-made honey on english muffins made those kids so happy. I'll always be proud of my work with charities.

Interviewer: That's really interesting. Do you have any other pre-game rituals or superstitions?

Sticky Hands: (laughs) Yeah, I've got a few. I always listen to the same playlist before every game, and I have to eat a english muffin covered with my self-made honey exactly two hours before kickoff. I know it sounds a little crazy, but it works for me.

Interviewer: Hey, whatever works, right? (laughs) Well, congratulations on a getting drafted, Sticky. We'll be looking forward to seeing more of you on the field.

Sticky Hands: Thank you, I appreciate it.

[Akoustique]

During Kairo Knight's press conference after the S40 ISFL draft, where the wide receiver was unexpectedly picked seventh overall, a reporter from the local news station asked a somewhat provocative question that got Knight visibly heated.

"People think that Cape Town made a huge reach when drafting you in the first round. With your stats last season in the DSFL, I'd have to agree. Rumor has it that you'll be staying down in the DSFL at Cape Town's behest. Do you really think that you can perform better than your rookie season?"

It was apparent throughout the question being verbalized that Kairo Knight was upset. After a long exhale, he had this to say:
"My whole life, I don't think people really believed in me. High school, my quarterback didn't believe in me. My college coaches didn't believe in me until I was about to leave. Hell, it took Bondi Beach a little while to start believing in me. So yeah, my stats don't add up. Yeah, I was caught off guard when I got taken in the first. But when the Crash took that risk, do you know what that showed me? That showed me that they believed in me. For the first time, it feels like, this team saw what I was about through my scouting and my work ethic. It's reporters and media like you that dwindle these players and their motivation down to the core. I won't let you do the same to me. Bondi Beach forever, and watch out when Cape Town Crash comes crashing into you. This press conference is over."

Knight then proceeded to swat the microphones off the table and stood up in a fuss, stomping away from the press area. A fiery Knight might be a danger to his opponents on the field; we'll see how he performs when the Buccaneers take the field in Week 1.