04-01-2023, 11:00 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-04-2023, 06:51 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 4 times in total.)
NOTE: I think I’ve only written media during 2x media events, so I would like to use my First Gen Player 2x Media for this piece please.
Hello to all dot footballers! We have all tried to figure out the best way to mock upcoming drafts; we have seen phenomenal pieces breaking down users' personalities, pieces covering team needs and TPE earnings, and many, many more. All of these are phenomenal works, but can they make a guarantee? I believe that I have uncovered the most scientifically proven, analytically driven, foolproof mock draft simulator! Behold! I unveil to all of you today the ISFL Draft Wheel of Random Ass Chance (patent pending)!
Guaranteed to be 100% effective at making picks, it also takes away all of the work of scouting! Just input your draft choices and the wheel does the rest! Here, we have loaded up the Season 41 draft class of all eligible users over 200 TPE after the last update, 39 players in total! After each selection is made, that player is removed from the pool of eligible selections and the wheel is shuffled five times to guarantee our certified seal of randomness! I reached out to ISFL GMs for their opinions on this groundbreaking technology and received such high praise as:
“Please don't write this media. We use a randomizer wheel for all of our decisions regarding draft picks. If you write this media our draft will be completely compromised.”
And
“What kind of horse are pony show are you trying to set up here? We've got a perfectly good system in place already. We scout the prospects, draft opens, other teams take the ones we fell in love with in scouting, we cry real hard and love the ones we picked… On second thought, maybe random would hurt less.”
And
"I can't wait for this new tech to be used in ISFL Drafting! I've heard it's incredible! It spreads honey on bread, and wants to make Pig Latin the official international language, and even makes chai lattes when you hop on one leg. The lattes are a little weak, but they'll do. Just imagine what happens when it is used in the ISFL Draft. I can't wait!"
And
“Each morning I woke up looking for a way to get out of my responsibilities... then right before my eyes this appeared. Drafting has never been easier. My grass was long and my laundry undone but ever since this became apart of our draft process, I have learned that it's better to just bury yourself in your sheets and hire someone else to do it... 5 Stars (if you can get someone else to do it for me)”
AND
“What are you doing in my house?”
What high praise! After those ringing endorsements, why don’t we test out this fantastic piece of tech right away! Without further ado, I present to you a two round, ISFL Season 41 Mock Draft generated exclusively here, guaranteed to make 100% of the 28 draft choices shown below!* LET’S GET SPINNING!!!
Note to the editor: please put this in a really, really tiny font, almost illegible, under the above paragraph so almost no one can read it. The lawyers are making us do this. *ISFL DRAFT WHEEL OF RANDOM ASS CHANCE (patent pending) DOES NOT GUARANTEE TO ACCURATELY PREDICT FUTURE DRAFT PICKS, NOR DOES IT SPREAD HONEY ON BREAD OR MAKE CHAI LATTES. IT DOES HOWEVER INTEND TO MAKE PIG LATIN THE OFFICIAL INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE.
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 1: New York Silverbacks select Cornerback Benjamin Duvernay, user @Purpl3Spartan
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 2: Colorado Yeti select Offensive Lineman Justin Willis, user @Cycro
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 3: Honolulu Hahalua select Safety Mary Marie, user @aeonsjenni
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 4: Orange County Otters select Running Back Sticky Hands, user @Quasi
Oh I’m sorry, were you looking for an in depth, detailed breakdown of each pick? THAT’S NOT THE KIND OF MOCK DRAFT THIS IS, BUCKO. We are here to marvel at the wonder that is Random Ass Chance! If you ARE looking for insight, and any shred of actual thought, you can find plenty of much better, well researched and well written mocks by far better people than me! Anyway, ONWARD WITH THE PICKS!
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 5: New Orleans Second Line select Tight End Burnt Toast, user @ToastCharger
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 6: New Orleans Second Line select Quarterback Lloyd Bannings, user @bowl0
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 7: Colorado Yeti select Wide Receiver Forozka Duanei, user @BWIII
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 8: Sarasota Sailfish select Linebacker Liath Squirrel, user @LiathTheSquirrel
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 9: Austin Copperheads select Wide Receiver Benji Aguilera, user @CROney3
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 10: Cape Town Crash Linebacker Loose Cannon, user @Jumbo
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 11: Colorado Yeti select Wide Receiver Diego López Alonso, user @DL14
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 12: Chicago Butchers select Tight End Max Honestly, user @"LeSizz"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 13: Yellowknife Wraiths select [REDACTED] Because I'm a dummy.
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 14: Arizona Outlaws select Cornerback Kadarius Claypool ll, user @Weaves
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 15: New York Silverbacks select Tight End Otto The Orange, user @Greenbaynathan
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 16: San Jose Sabercats select Linebacker John Stark VIII, user @UptownCord
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 17: Honolulu Hahalua select Wide Receiver Artemis Entreri, user @entreri
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 18: Cape Town Crash select Cornerback Ezra Azazel, user @"baz1757"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 19: Berlin Fire Salamanders select Safety Rico Savage, user @TheRake
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 20: New Orleans Second Line select Linebacker Craig Brand, user @ElMerchanto
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 21: Arizona Outlaws select Linebacker DJ Maclean, user @Urq660
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 22: Sarasota Sailfish select Cornerback Bill Cravy, user @KlausGoatCasinos
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 23: Austin Copperheads select Defensive End Bruce White, user @toofpete
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 24: Cape Town Crash select Running Back Malik Brooks, user @AK41
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 25: San Jose Sabercats select Wide Receiver Legs McMillion, user @jollyjiggs
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 26: Chicago Butchers select Kicker/Punter Ray Baker, user @jdc4654
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 27: Yellowknife Wraiths select Defensive End Logjammed McBobface, user @"marccelaat"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 28: Arizona Outlaws select Running Back Kyle Crane, user @Ultimatedestroye
What an amazing draft, and there are still plenty of highly coveted players still on the wheel! Take a look and see for yourself:
Unfortunately, users @Memento Mori, @infinitempg, @furiousPanda, @wizard_literal, @LtHudz, @nickWilliams, @crash1005, @Number 82, @Dustillation, and @MattBake12 are still left on the wheel, but I can guarantee if I kept spinning, they’d all be picked!
So, should we keep spinning? I sure think so! Look at all these picks that have been made! Should the GMs take over and make the picks on their own? Probably not! These past two rounds were picked in approximately 10 minutes, and most of that was set up time! We are sure this groundbreaking tech will revolutionize the ISFL for generations to come. So ISFL GMs, save your precious time whenever draft season rolls around and purchase the ISFL Draft Wheel of Random Ass Chance (patent pending), it can be yours for the low, low cost of just $10,000,000 ISFL*!
*Subscription required. $10,000,000 due at time of purchase with monthly, auto renewing subscription rates of $10,000,000 each month. Customer may cancel at anytime by following the provided link: Cancelation Link
Word count according to Google Docs: 1333
NOTE TO THE MEDIA GRADER: @Dewalt27 @RussDrivesTheBus @MMFLEX @IceBear32 (not listed in any particular order) all contributed as our interviewed GMs. I would like to give each 5% of the payout.
Hello to all dot footballers! We have all tried to figure out the best way to mock upcoming drafts; we have seen phenomenal pieces breaking down users' personalities, pieces covering team needs and TPE earnings, and many, many more. All of these are phenomenal works, but can they make a guarantee? I believe that I have uncovered the most scientifically proven, analytically driven, foolproof mock draft simulator! Behold! I unveil to all of you today the ISFL Draft Wheel of Random Ass Chance (patent pending)!
Guaranteed to be 100% effective at making picks, it also takes away all of the work of scouting! Just input your draft choices and the wheel does the rest! Here, we have loaded up the Season 41 draft class of all eligible users over 200 TPE after the last update, 39 players in total! After each selection is made, that player is removed from the pool of eligible selections and the wheel is shuffled five times to guarantee our certified seal of randomness! I reached out to ISFL GMs for their opinions on this groundbreaking technology and received such high praise as:
“Please don't write this media. We use a randomizer wheel for all of our decisions regarding draft picks. If you write this media our draft will be completely compromised.”
And
“What kind of horse are pony show are you trying to set up here? We've got a perfectly good system in place already. We scout the prospects, draft opens, other teams take the ones we fell in love with in scouting, we cry real hard and love the ones we picked… On second thought, maybe random would hurt less.”
And
"I can't wait for this new tech to be used in ISFL Drafting! I've heard it's incredible! It spreads honey on bread, and wants to make Pig Latin the official international language, and even makes chai lattes when you hop on one leg. The lattes are a little weak, but they'll do. Just imagine what happens when it is used in the ISFL Draft. I can't wait!"
And
“Each morning I woke up looking for a way to get out of my responsibilities... then right before my eyes this appeared. Drafting has never been easier. My grass was long and my laundry undone but ever since this became apart of our draft process, I have learned that it's better to just bury yourself in your sheets and hire someone else to do it... 5 Stars (if you can get someone else to do it for me)”
AND
“What are you doing in my house?”
What high praise! After those ringing endorsements, why don’t we test out this fantastic piece of tech right away! Without further ado, I present to you a two round, ISFL Season 41 Mock Draft generated exclusively here, guaranteed to make 100% of the 28 draft choices shown below!* LET’S GET SPINNING!!!
Note to the editor: please put this in a really, really tiny font, almost illegible, under the above paragraph so almost no one can read it. The lawyers are making us do this. *ISFL DRAFT WHEEL OF RANDOM ASS CHANCE (patent pending) DOES NOT GUARANTEE TO ACCURATELY PREDICT FUTURE DRAFT PICKS, NOR DOES IT SPREAD HONEY ON BREAD OR MAKE CHAI LATTES. IT DOES HOWEVER INTEND TO MAKE PIG LATIN THE OFFICIAL INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE.
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 1: New York Silverbacks select Cornerback Benjamin Duvernay, user @Purpl3Spartan
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 2: Colorado Yeti select Offensive Lineman Justin Willis, user @Cycro
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 3: Honolulu Hahalua select Safety Mary Marie, user @aeonsjenni
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 4: Orange County Otters select Running Back Sticky Hands, user @Quasi
Oh I’m sorry, were you looking for an in depth, detailed breakdown of each pick? THAT’S NOT THE KIND OF MOCK DRAFT THIS IS, BUCKO. We are here to marvel at the wonder that is Random Ass Chance! If you ARE looking for insight, and any shred of actual thought, you can find plenty of much better, well researched and well written mocks by far better people than me! Anyway, ONWARD WITH THE PICKS!
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 5: New Orleans Second Line select Tight End Burnt Toast, user @ToastCharger
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 6: New Orleans Second Line select Quarterback Lloyd Bannings, user @bowl0
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 7: Colorado Yeti select Wide Receiver Forozka Duanei, user @BWIII
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 8: Sarasota Sailfish select Linebacker Liath Squirrel, user @LiathTheSquirrel
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 9: Austin Copperheads select Wide Receiver Benji Aguilera, user @CROney3
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 10: Cape Town Crash Linebacker Loose Cannon, user @Jumbo
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 11: Colorado Yeti select Wide Receiver Diego López Alonso, user @DL14
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 12: Chicago Butchers select Tight End Max Honestly, user @"LeSizz"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 13: Yellowknife Wraiths select [REDACTED] Because I'm a dummy.
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 1, Pick 14: Arizona Outlaws select Cornerback Kadarius Claypool ll, user @Weaves
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 15: New York Silverbacks select Tight End Otto The Orange, user @Greenbaynathan
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 16: San Jose Sabercats select Linebacker John Stark VIII, user @UptownCord
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 17: Honolulu Hahalua select Wide Receiver Artemis Entreri, user @entreri
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 18: Cape Town Crash select Cornerback Ezra Azazel, user @"baz1757"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 19: Berlin Fire Salamanders select Safety Rico Savage, user @TheRake
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 20: New Orleans Second Line select Linebacker Craig Brand, user @ElMerchanto
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 21: Arizona Outlaws select Linebacker DJ Maclean, user @Urq660
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 22: Sarasota Sailfish select Cornerback Bill Cravy, user @KlausGoatCasinos
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 23: Austin Copperheads select Defensive End Bruce White, user @toofpete
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 24: Cape Town Crash select Running Back Malik Brooks, user @AK41
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 25: San Jose Sabercats select Wide Receiver Legs McMillion, user @jollyjiggs
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 26: Chicago Butchers select Kicker/Punter Ray Baker, user @jdc4654
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 27: Yellowknife Wraiths select Defensive End Logjammed McBobface, user @"marccelaat"
THE SPIN IS IN: Round 2, Pick 28: Arizona Outlaws select Running Back Kyle Crane, user @Ultimatedestroye
What an amazing draft, and there are still plenty of highly coveted players still on the wheel! Take a look and see for yourself:
Unfortunately, users @Memento Mori, @infinitempg, @furiousPanda, @wizard_literal, @LtHudz, @nickWilliams, @crash1005, @Number 82, @Dustillation, and @MattBake12 are still left on the wheel, but I can guarantee if I kept spinning, they’d all be picked!
So, should we keep spinning? I sure think so! Look at all these picks that have been made! Should the GMs take over and make the picks on their own? Probably not! These past two rounds were picked in approximately 10 minutes, and most of that was set up time! We are sure this groundbreaking tech will revolutionize the ISFL for generations to come. So ISFL GMs, save your precious time whenever draft season rolls around and purchase the ISFL Draft Wheel of Random Ass Chance (patent pending), it can be yours for the low, low cost of just $10,000,000 ISFL*!
*Subscription required. $10,000,000 due at time of purchase with monthly, auto renewing subscription rates of $10,000,000 each month. Customer may cancel at anytime by following the provided link: Cancelation Link
Word count according to Google Docs: 1333
NOTE TO THE MEDIA GRADER: @Dewalt27 @RussDrivesTheBus @MMFLEX @IceBear32 (not listed in any particular order) all contributed as our interviewed GMs. I would like to give each 5% of the payout.
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