08-18-2023, 06:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-19-2023, 01:28 PM by xenosthelegend. Edited 3 times in total.)
Excuse the hastiness of this article. I'm working in a limited time frame given the weekend deadline for double media I have but tonight to make a meager attempt at writing an article consistent of at least 1000 comprehensible words. If you’ve been living under a rock recently you may not have noticed a craze that has taken over the ISFL General Discord. Yes of course I’m referring to the return of our good Blorgl to the league. Upon entering the league in Season 40 I myself always had a feeling that something was not quite right with the state of things. Ever have that creeping feeling that someone is watching you when you’re alone? That something is just out of eye sight in the corner of your vision? It was clear from day one that the league was absent of a presence that had been long missed.
Alas here we are in Season 43 and the prodigal Blorgl has graced us with their presence once again. Completely unaware of the way of The Blorgl I was at first like many of you newcomers hesitant to its following. The Blorgl is ever forgiving in its Omnipotent existence, and when my period of naivety came to an end, the Blorgl was not so brash as to dismiss my newly found devotion. For at the end of all questions only Blorgl will remain. Dear reader let me extend a hand and enlighten you to the history of The Blorgl.
The Blorgl entered the league first in Season 26 under the alias “Marlon Brando” as part of the Season 27 ISFL class. We know now that surname Brando was the Blorgl’s way of hiding their true nature, so for the rest of the article I will properly be addressing the star Defensive End Marlon Brando as Marlon Blorgl.
DSFL Draft:
Marlon Blorgl would find their way to London after being selected in Round 2 at pick 15 in the Season 26 DSFL Draft. A total of 14 players taken ahead of The Blorgl is comprised below. While all proved to be great players in their own right, they were forever cursed with the burden of having to be compared to Sir Marlon Blorgl, much akin to Amon-Ra St. Brown’s list of 16 Wide Receivers that were taken ahead of him in the 2021 NFL Draft.
Round 1
1. FleshBagSoup - SparkySparky Boom-man - S
2. - Kyle - Jim The Vampire - S
3. - 124715 - Eleven Kendrick-Watts - WR
4. - overdoo - Lawrence Miller - CB
5. - sve7en - Madison Hayes - WR
6. - Vorshayla - HeHateMe PickSix II - CB
7. - TropicaliaCC - Duke Cheeks - LB
8. - TheDangaZone - Preston Parker - WR
Round 2
9. - SeymourSnatches - Bean Beanman - DE
10. - AW13 - Joliet Christ Jr. - QB
11. - Bandit239 - Xander Creed - RB
12. - CommishDrip - Drip Dad - RB
13. - H0PPY75 - Fergus Callaghan Jr. - DT
14. - treant - James Wilkinson - TE
15. - Menace0528 - Mar Brando - DT
Oh yes I suppose we should provide further point of clarification that The Blorgl not only went under the player alias “Marlon Brando” but also further obfuscated their presence with a forum user name of @Menace0528. Menace of course being an antonym for a number of descriptors for The Blorgl’s true nature such as:
Certainty
Safety
Surety
Comfort
Delight
Happiness
Aid
Assistance
Help
Marlon Blorgl’s Career
Marlon Blorgl entered the DSFL scene with an impressive 44 Tackles, 1 TFL, and 2 Sacks in their first season as they anchored the Royal’s Defense which placed 2nd in the league at allowing just 15.1 points per game the culminated in a 9-5 record and playoff berth for The Royals. London would suffer an unfortunate 13-23 loss in the Conference Champ game against the 13-1 Portland Pythons, but many attribute this loss to The Blorgl’s ever-giving and selfless nature.
Entering the Season 27 ISFL Draft one lone team amongst four would recognize the opportunity that was before them. With the 4th overall pick in the S27 ISFL Draft The Berlin Salamanders would draft Marlon Blorgl to be the future of their Defensive Front. While Marlon would spend one more season down with the Royals, they were quick to be called up at the start of Season 28.
I’ll spare you of the season by season breakdowns of our dear Blorgl, but to surmise over the course of 11 seasons Marlon Blorgl amassed 403 Tackles, 35 TFL, 64 Sacks, and 9 Safetys too boot! Capping out at 1233 TPE before regression theft, Marlon’s career marks a clear Hall of Fame resume. Marlon Blorgl had quite the successful career selflessly prioritizing the Left End position for the early part of The Blorgls career and stepping into Right End for wildly impressive 17 Sacks in S34 and 16 Sacks in S35. I’m quite sure I don’t even need to check if Marlon was first ballot after their S38 retirement, the committee would have been foolish not to induct them immediately!
The Next Era
After a brief hiatus from the league our dear Blorgl graced us with their return as part of the Season 44 ISFL class. In playful manner The Blorgl chose to go under a new alias “Pete Moss” even though the wiser of ISFL veterans were well aware Mr. Moss was of course the syndicate for The Blorgl. In a shocking turn of events The Blorgl would fall in the draft and go 19th overall to The Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Clearly the mistake of a recent sweep of new General Managers that have arrived in the last few seasons. Thus a new list of names was constructed of players that teams passed on The Blorgl to take.
Round 1
1. OrangeJulius - Orange Julius - WR - Syracuse University
2. Piercewise1 - Jamie Orion - S - Purdue University
3. Tmoney6996 - Thomas Passarelli - TE - Old Doion University
4. captainsb - Joey Battle - LB - University of Oklahoma
5. thecrimsonking99 - Dormo Bloodhand - DT - Harper University
6. GrimmCrackers - Trent Thigpen - DT - University of Wisconsin
7. IrishKnight - Alexander Hamlin - WR - University of Washington
8. Scrizz - Pat Uncertain - CB - University of Memphis
Round Two
9. Joe Steel - Scott Junior - S - Bethune-Cookman University
10. Bamford13 - Jordan Bamford - QB - Sacramento State University
11. lock180 - Zenzeroni Xystarch II - K/P - Spaghetti School
12. dogwoodmaple - Maple Dogwood - RB - University of Georgia
13. Crazytomato - Crazy Tomato - DE - University of British Columbia
14. Charlie C - Theo Blake - TE - University of Memphis
15. Datboi69 - Wayne Miller - CB - University of Southern California
16. katarn22 - Ryan McBean - DT - Rutgers University
Round Three
17. HalfEatenOnionBagel - A Waffle - TE - Culinary Academy
18. LurchingCard - Xavier Moreno - CB - University of Nevada
19. Menace0528 - Pete Moss - LB - Slippery Rock University
In a short 4 games into the latest season of the DSFL The Blorgl has shown up with 25 Tackles, 1 TFL, and 3 Sacks. Clearly just a minor demonstration of The Blorgl’s potential I’m sure ISFL scouts already have early eyes on this star Linebacker. Praise be The Blorgl and be sure to join us for a Blorgl time in the ISFL general discord whenever you have the chance!
Alas here we are in Season 43 and the prodigal Blorgl has graced us with their presence once again. Completely unaware of the way of The Blorgl I was at first like many of you newcomers hesitant to its following. The Blorgl is ever forgiving in its Omnipotent existence, and when my period of naivety came to an end, the Blorgl was not so brash as to dismiss my newly found devotion. For at the end of all questions only Blorgl will remain. Dear reader let me extend a hand and enlighten you to the history of The Blorgl.
The Blorgl entered the league first in Season 26 under the alias “Marlon Brando” as part of the Season 27 ISFL class. We know now that surname Brando was the Blorgl’s way of hiding their true nature, so for the rest of the article I will properly be addressing the star Defensive End Marlon Brando as Marlon Blorgl.
DSFL Draft:
Marlon Blorgl would find their way to London after being selected in Round 2 at pick 15 in the Season 26 DSFL Draft. A total of 14 players taken ahead of The Blorgl is comprised below. While all proved to be great players in their own right, they were forever cursed with the burden of having to be compared to Sir Marlon Blorgl, much akin to Amon-Ra St. Brown’s list of 16 Wide Receivers that were taken ahead of him in the 2021 NFL Draft.
Round 1
1. FleshBagSoup - SparkySparky Boom-man - S
2. - Kyle - Jim The Vampire - S
3. - 124715 - Eleven Kendrick-Watts - WR
4. - overdoo - Lawrence Miller - CB
5. - sve7en - Madison Hayes - WR
6. - Vorshayla - HeHateMe PickSix II - CB
7. - TropicaliaCC - Duke Cheeks - LB
8. - TheDangaZone - Preston Parker - WR
Round 2
9. - SeymourSnatches - Bean Beanman - DE
10. - AW13 - Joliet Christ Jr. - QB
11. - Bandit239 - Xander Creed - RB
12. - CommishDrip - Drip Dad - RB
13. - H0PPY75 - Fergus Callaghan Jr. - DT
14. - treant - James Wilkinson - TE
15. - Menace0528 - Mar Brando - DT
Oh yes I suppose we should provide further point of clarification that The Blorgl not only went under the player alias “Marlon Brando” but also further obfuscated their presence with a forum user name of @Menace0528. Menace of course being an antonym for a number of descriptors for The Blorgl’s true nature such as:
Certainty
Safety
Surety
Comfort
Delight
Happiness
Aid
Assistance
Help
Marlon Blorgl’s Career
Marlon Blorgl entered the DSFL scene with an impressive 44 Tackles, 1 TFL, and 2 Sacks in their first season as they anchored the Royal’s Defense which placed 2nd in the league at allowing just 15.1 points per game the culminated in a 9-5 record and playoff berth for The Royals. London would suffer an unfortunate 13-23 loss in the Conference Champ game against the 13-1 Portland Pythons, but many attribute this loss to The Blorgl’s ever-giving and selfless nature.
Entering the Season 27 ISFL Draft one lone team amongst four would recognize the opportunity that was before them. With the 4th overall pick in the S27 ISFL Draft The Berlin Salamanders would draft Marlon Blorgl to be the future of their Defensive Front. While Marlon would spend one more season down with the Royals, they were quick to be called up at the start of Season 28.
I’ll spare you of the season by season breakdowns of our dear Blorgl, but to surmise over the course of 11 seasons Marlon Blorgl amassed 403 Tackles, 35 TFL, 64 Sacks, and 9 Safetys too boot! Capping out at 1233 TPE before regression theft, Marlon’s career marks a clear Hall of Fame resume. Marlon Blorgl had quite the successful career selflessly prioritizing the Left End position for the early part of The Blorgls career and stepping into Right End for wildly impressive 17 Sacks in S34 and 16 Sacks in S35. I’m quite sure I don’t even need to check if Marlon was first ballot after their S38 retirement, the committee would have been foolish not to induct them immediately!
The Next Era
After a brief hiatus from the league our dear Blorgl graced us with their return as part of the Season 44 ISFL class. In playful manner The Blorgl chose to go under a new alias “Pete Moss” even though the wiser of ISFL veterans were well aware Mr. Moss was of course the syndicate for The Blorgl. In a shocking turn of events The Blorgl would fall in the draft and go 19th overall to The Bondi Beach Buccaneers. Clearly the mistake of a recent sweep of new General Managers that have arrived in the last few seasons. Thus a new list of names was constructed of players that teams passed on The Blorgl to take.
Round 1
1. OrangeJulius - Orange Julius - WR - Syracuse University
2. Piercewise1 - Jamie Orion - S - Purdue University
3. Tmoney6996 - Thomas Passarelli - TE - Old Doion University
4. captainsb - Joey Battle - LB - University of Oklahoma
5. thecrimsonking99 - Dormo Bloodhand - DT - Harper University
6. GrimmCrackers - Trent Thigpen - DT - University of Wisconsin
7. IrishKnight - Alexander Hamlin - WR - University of Washington
8. Scrizz - Pat Uncertain - CB - University of Memphis
Round Two
9. Joe Steel - Scott Junior - S - Bethune-Cookman University
10. Bamford13 - Jordan Bamford - QB - Sacramento State University
11. lock180 - Zenzeroni Xystarch II - K/P - Spaghetti School
12. dogwoodmaple - Maple Dogwood - RB - University of Georgia
13. Crazytomato - Crazy Tomato - DE - University of British Columbia
14. Charlie C - Theo Blake - TE - University of Memphis
15. Datboi69 - Wayne Miller - CB - University of Southern California
16. katarn22 - Ryan McBean - DT - Rutgers University
Round Three
17. HalfEatenOnionBagel - A Waffle - TE - Culinary Academy
18. LurchingCard - Xavier Moreno - CB - University of Nevada
19. Menace0528 - Pete Moss - LB - Slippery Rock University
In a short 4 games into the latest season of the DSFL The Blorgl has shown up with 25 Tackles, 1 TFL, and 3 Sacks. Clearly just a minor demonstration of The Blorgl’s potential I’m sure ISFL scouts already have early eyes on this star Linebacker. Praise be The Blorgl and be sure to join us for a Blorgl time in the ISFL general discord whenever you have the chance!