12-30-2023, 10:49 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-04-2024, 11:16 AM by lemonoppy. Edited 2 times in total.)
Most mock drafts have an actual thought process behind their picks. Then the person who makes them attempts to justify the picks. I am taking the human element out of the picking, and instead critquing what a random number generator decides to pick. This mock draft will be done by random selection. Every eligible S45 player can be taken, including GM picks. Anyone below 57 TPE will be considered ineligible. I don't think I've ever seen a mock draft here have trades. For every pick there will be a 1/100 chance that a trade is selected, at which point a team will be chosen at random to trade up to the current pick. All trade compensation will be chosen at random from another separate list. With that out of the way, it is time to start drafting!
*Draft order may be incorrect as there are a ton of tied records right now, and I don't feel like doing all the tiebreakers for them. I will be using point differential as the sole tiebreaker.
1.1 New Orleans Second Line select
Taylor Swift OL 
66 TPE at time of writing
Off to a fantastic start for the computer, picking a 66 TPE IA OL. Maybe she gets her millions of fans to block the entire field for the offense? Actually that may make the offense completely unable to function.
Grade: F
1.2 Yellowknife Wraiths select
Jack Sloth K/P 
232 TPE at time of writing
A top 5 earner in the class so far, this would normally be an outstanding pick. However, Yellowknife recently drafted a max earning kicker from the infamous S44 class: Zenzeroni Xystarch II. There are many other positions that need to be addressed more immediately. I do give the computer bonus points for drafting a max earner though.
Grade: C-
1.3 San Jose Sabercats select
Silence Suzuka WR 
235 TPE at time of writing
No analysis needed, clearly a bust.
Grade: F
1.4 Cape Town Crash select
Wynn Jenkins K/P 
215 TPE at time of writing
Wynn Jenkins is another max earning kicker, but it makes more sense for Cape Town to take him than it did for Yellowknife. Cape Town has a kicker already, but is a slower earner, and is a bit older from S41. There are many more important positions that need to be addressed immediately that could be taken here instead however.
Grade: C+
1.5 Orange County Otters select
Dru Freduci RB
209 TPE at time of writing
Leandre Diarra is aging, and is already deep into regression. Reginald Shrubbery is likely to completely take over the backfield soon. Dru Freduci is a fantastic complementary piece here for Orange County. He may eventually take over as the primary option in the backfield later into their careers.
Grade: A
1.6 Berlin Fire Salamanders select
Billy Van Goff QB 
168 TPE at time of writing
Longtime Berlin QB Adrian St. Christmas is fighting regression, but will likely be swept away by the tide of TPE theft soon. Billy Van Goff is a solid option to replace him eventually. However, there is a much higher earning QB in this class, and I have to take points off for that.
Grade: B-
1.7 Arizona Outlaws select
Leo Simon Schwartz DT
189 TPE at time of writing
Interestingly, this is the first defender off the board. He is also one of two defensive tackles in the entire draft! Arizona's entire defensive line is aging quickly, and an infusion of youth will do a lot of good real fast for them.
Grade: A
1.8 New York Silverbacks select
John le Ston TE
78 TPE at time of writing
After a string of high TPE picks, the computer does what I expected it do with the lower TPE players. John le Ston is the highest TPE TE in the class, but that really isn't much of a high bar when 78 is the highest. New York currently does not have a TE on their roster, so that moves the needle a bit.
Grade: D
1.9 Colorado Yeti select
Daddy Dimes LB 
99 TPE at time of writing
Colorado has two LBs above 1000 TPE on the roster right now, they are both about to hit regression. They have another good earning LB. LB simply is not a positition of need for Colorado. There are also two LBs still on the board at this point that are much higher TPE.
Grade: D
1.10 Chicago Butchers select
Terry Keller CB
150 TPE at time of writing
Terry Keller is a good earner, and more importantly for Chicago, a CB. Chicago currently has three CBs on the roster, one a max earner, the other a bit less. CB is a position of immediate need for Chicago, and for that I add a few points. However, there is a much higher TPE CB still on the board.
Grade: B+
1.11 Austin Copperheads select
TRADE!
Austin sends: S46 1st
Sarasota sends: S46 1st, S46 3rd
1.11 Sarasota Sailfish select
Damian Prince DE
57 TPE at time of writing
Following a trade that is probably fine, the computer goes ahead and gives Sarasota the lowest TPE player in the entire draft. To rub more salt in the wound, DE isn't even a position of need for Sarasota, and there are multiple higher TPE DEs still available.
Grade: F
1.12 New Orleans Second Line via Baltimore Hawks select
D'Jasper Probincrux IV DE
167 TPE at time of writing
The computer must have a sense of humor. After giving Sarasota the lowest TPE DE, it turns around and gives NOLA the highest TPE DE. NOLA already has three DEs on the roster, but only one is max earning, and will be hitting regression in a few seasons. D'Jasper Probincrux IV is a fantastic pick here, and makes their catastrophically bad first pick sting a bit less.
Grade: A
1.13 Austin Copperheads via Sarasota Sailfish select
Earnest Splash CB
72 TPE at time of writing
Austin currently has three CBs on the roster, two of which are deep into regression. One is an S44 high earner. A piece to complement him would be great. Unfortunately, Earnest Splash hasn't updated in over a month. The only thing saving this pick is that it is a position of need.
Grade: D-
1.14 Honolulu Hahalua select
Duilio's Beard LB
230 TPE at time of writing
Honolulu has enjoyed having elite LBs in their roster for quite some time. Three max to high earning LBs all at different stages of their careers are currently on the roster. Taking Duilio's Beard would continue that tradition for Honolulu.
Grade: A+
2.1 New Orleans Second Line select
Fig Newton RB 
169 TPE at time of writing
New Orleans has two RBs on the roster, one a high earner, the other an IA. Kyle Crane is a fantastic player who would benefit greatly from having some form of relief in the backfield. Fig Newton is a good earner who can provide this for New Orleans. However, there is another higher TPE RB still on the board for this exercise.
Grade: B+
2.2 Yellowknife Wraiths select
Cassius Ketch S
80 TPE at time of writing
Yellowknife has a lot of holes right now, safety is one of them depite having four on the roster. One is deep into regression, another is fighting regression desperately, one is a low earner but still there, and the last one is an extremely young max earner. Having another young safety to pair with the last one would be a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, Cassius Ketch is not the correct choice to do this.
Grade: D-
2.3 San Jose Sabercats select
Hearty Harry K/P
177 TPE at time of writing
San Jose's current kicker/punter Booter McGavin is fighting regression. A backup plan is a good idea here. Hearty Harry is a great earner, and will be able to solidify the position for quite some time once their current kicker has retired.
Grade: A
2.4 Cape Town Crash select
Sergei Nunkanblok DE
166 TPE at time of writing
The legendary Christian Marciano will be gone after this season, and Cape Town's defensive line needs a serious boost now. Sergei Nunkanblok is a good earner who will be able to step into a starting role for Cape Town immediately and be a great complementary piece to Jason Steele.
Grade: A
2.5 Orange County Otters select
T.J Enterfeltd DT
67 TPE at time of writing
If one position on Orange County would be considered a weakness, it would be their defensive line. The computer has elected to give them some help here, but has chosen an interesting player for the job. T.J Enterfeltd has earned 17 TPE so far, but has yet to spend a single point of it, and seems to have not been online in the past week and a half.
Grade: F
2.6 Berlin Fire Salamanders select
Aaron Ford RB 
118 TPE at time of writing
Armor Queen is aging, and Pete Zuh will be out of the league soon. Kyle Bessey is a fine option as a change of pace back, but Berlin needs the future of the RB position to be certain. Aaron Ford is an ok option, but there are multiple higher TPE RBs still available at this point.
Grade: C
2.7 Arizona Outlaws select
PeePee Poop-Eater Jr. S
185 TPE at time of writing
Arizona currently has two safeties on the roster, both of which will be facing regression in a few seasons. PeePee Poop-Eater Jr. is a great earner who will reinforce a future position of need for Arizona for quite some time if he continues his current trajectory.
Grade: A+
2.8 New York Silverbacks select
Purdy Mediocre RB
234 TPE at time of writing
Frank Dux is currently the highest TPE RB in the entire league. That being said, he will soon be facing regression. Behind him in the backfield is a RB who is currently deeper into regression. Purdy Mediocre is the highest earning RB in the class, and would stabilize the position deep into Dux's eventual regression.
Grade: A+
2.9 Colorado Yeti select
Scorch von Turbo RB
202 TPE at time of writing
Colorado recently drafted a max earning RB in the previous draft class. Getting another max earning RB in back to back drafts is an interesting strategy, and would lead to an extremely powerful backfield. The only thing holding this pick back is that it is not even close to a need.
Grade: A-
2.10 Chicago Butchers select
Devin Jones CB
239 TPE at time of writing
As previously discussed, CB is a position of need for Chicago. The difference between this and their previous pick is that Devin Jones leads the S46 draft class in TPE. This is easily the best pick so far in the entire draft.
Grade: S
2.11 Austin Copperheads select
Chopper Donquixote WR
210 TPE at time of writing
Austin's WR room is regressing, and needs a shot in the arm quickly. Chopper Donquixote has been a max earner so far, and would very quickly rise to WR1 status in Austin.
Grade: S
2.12 Baltimore Hawks select
Drake Wane S
141 TPE at time of writing
Baltimore's safety room is fine. They have three safeties all above 700 TPE, but none are above 1000. Unfortunately, they will all be entering regression soon, and replacements are needed. Drake Wane is a good option, but there are multiple better safeties still available at this point.
Grade: B
2.13 Sarasota Sailfish select
KrustyKrab Pizza WR
220 TPE at time of writing
Sarasota currently has two receivers above 1000 TPE. However, they are both in regression, and it will be hitting them hard very soon. Behind them they have, no one else on the roster. KrustyKrab Pizza is the best available receiver, and should be able to step in as the WR1 when Johnny Blaze Jr. and Thomas Robinson are gone.
Grade: S
2.14 Honolulu Hahalua select
Squints Jr WR
60 TPE at time of writing
Honolulu currently has 3 receivers on their roster, two of which are above 1000 TPE, one of whom is regressing. Their third WR is sitting at 931 TPE, and will be a bit before he starts regressing. WR is not a need for Honolulu, and it will take quite some time before Squints Jr becomes a major contributor for Honolulu. What is saving this pick is that he seems to be active.
Grade: D+
The computer had either really good picks, or really bad picks. Not a lot of in between.
I wonder if any GMs will take this as a guide on what to do.
*Draft order may be incorrect as there are a ton of tied records right now, and I don't feel like doing all the tiebreakers for them. I will be using point differential as the sole tiebreaker.
1.1 New Orleans Second Line select
Taylor Swift OL 66 TPE at time of writing
Off to a fantastic start for the computer, picking a 66 TPE IA OL. Maybe she gets her millions of fans to block the entire field for the offense? Actually that may make the offense completely unable to function.
Grade: F
1.2 Yellowknife Wraiths select
Jack Sloth K/P 232 TPE at time of writing
A top 5 earner in the class so far, this would normally be an outstanding pick. However, Yellowknife recently drafted a max earning kicker from the infamous S44 class: Zenzeroni Xystarch II. There are many other positions that need to be addressed more immediately. I do give the computer bonus points for drafting a max earner though.
Grade: C-
1.3 San Jose Sabercats select
Silence Suzuka WR 235 TPE at time of writing
No analysis needed, clearly a bust.
Grade: F
1.4 Cape Town Crash select
Wynn Jenkins K/P 215 TPE at time of writing
Wynn Jenkins is another max earning kicker, but it makes more sense for Cape Town to take him than it did for Yellowknife. Cape Town has a kicker already, but is a slower earner, and is a bit older from S41. There are many more important positions that need to be addressed immediately that could be taken here instead however.
Grade: C+
1.5 Orange County Otters select
Dru Freduci RB 209 TPE at time of writing
Leandre Diarra is aging, and is already deep into regression. Reginald Shrubbery is likely to completely take over the backfield soon. Dru Freduci is a fantastic complementary piece here for Orange County. He may eventually take over as the primary option in the backfield later into their careers.
Grade: A
1.6 Berlin Fire Salamanders select
Billy Van Goff QB 168 TPE at time of writing
Longtime Berlin QB Adrian St. Christmas is fighting regression, but will likely be swept away by the tide of TPE theft soon. Billy Van Goff is a solid option to replace him eventually. However, there is a much higher earning QB in this class, and I have to take points off for that.
Grade: B-
1.7 Arizona Outlaws select
Leo Simon Schwartz DT 189 TPE at time of writing
Interestingly, this is the first defender off the board. He is also one of two defensive tackles in the entire draft! Arizona's entire defensive line is aging quickly, and an infusion of youth will do a lot of good real fast for them.
Grade: A
1.8 New York Silverbacks select
John le Ston TE 78 TPE at time of writing
After a string of high TPE picks, the computer does what I expected it do with the lower TPE players. John le Ston is the highest TPE TE in the class, but that really isn't much of a high bar when 78 is the highest. New York currently does not have a TE on their roster, so that moves the needle a bit.
Grade: D
1.9 Colorado Yeti select
Daddy Dimes LB 99 TPE at time of writing
Colorado has two LBs above 1000 TPE on the roster right now, they are both about to hit regression. They have another good earning LB. LB simply is not a positition of need for Colorado. There are also two LBs still on the board at this point that are much higher TPE.
Grade: D
1.10 Chicago Butchers select
Terry Keller CB 150 TPE at time of writing
Terry Keller is a good earner, and more importantly for Chicago, a CB. Chicago currently has three CBs on the roster, one a max earner, the other a bit less. CB is a position of immediate need for Chicago, and for that I add a few points. However, there is a much higher TPE CB still on the board.
Grade: B+
1.11 Austin Copperheads select
TRADE!
Austin sends: S46 1st
Sarasota sends: S46 1st, S46 3rd
1.11 Sarasota Sailfish select
Damian Prince DE 57 TPE at time of writing
Following a trade that is probably fine, the computer goes ahead and gives Sarasota the lowest TPE player in the entire draft. To rub more salt in the wound, DE isn't even a position of need for Sarasota, and there are multiple higher TPE DEs still available.
Grade: F
1.12 New Orleans Second Line via Baltimore Hawks select
D'Jasper Probincrux IV DE 167 TPE at time of writing
The computer must have a sense of humor. After giving Sarasota the lowest TPE DE, it turns around and gives NOLA the highest TPE DE. NOLA already has three DEs on the roster, but only one is max earning, and will be hitting regression in a few seasons. D'Jasper Probincrux IV is a fantastic pick here, and makes their catastrophically bad first pick sting a bit less.
Grade: A
1.13 Austin Copperheads via Sarasota Sailfish select
Earnest Splash CB 72 TPE at time of writing
Austin currently has three CBs on the roster, two of which are deep into regression. One is an S44 high earner. A piece to complement him would be great. Unfortunately, Earnest Splash hasn't updated in over a month. The only thing saving this pick is that it is a position of need.
Grade: D-
1.14 Honolulu Hahalua select
Duilio's Beard LB 230 TPE at time of writing
Honolulu has enjoyed having elite LBs in their roster for quite some time. Three max to high earning LBs all at different stages of their careers are currently on the roster. Taking Duilio's Beard would continue that tradition for Honolulu.
Grade: A+
2.1 New Orleans Second Line select
Fig Newton RB 169 TPE at time of writing
New Orleans has two RBs on the roster, one a high earner, the other an IA. Kyle Crane is a fantastic player who would benefit greatly from having some form of relief in the backfield. Fig Newton is a good earner who can provide this for New Orleans. However, there is another higher TPE RB still on the board for this exercise.
Grade: B+
2.2 Yellowknife Wraiths select
Cassius Ketch S 80 TPE at time of writing
Yellowknife has a lot of holes right now, safety is one of them depite having four on the roster. One is deep into regression, another is fighting regression desperately, one is a low earner but still there, and the last one is an extremely young max earner. Having another young safety to pair with the last one would be a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, Cassius Ketch is not the correct choice to do this.
Grade: D-
2.3 San Jose Sabercats select
Hearty Harry K/P 177 TPE at time of writing
San Jose's current kicker/punter Booter McGavin is fighting regression. A backup plan is a good idea here. Hearty Harry is a great earner, and will be able to solidify the position for quite some time once their current kicker has retired.
Grade: A
2.4 Cape Town Crash select
Sergei Nunkanblok DE 166 TPE at time of writing
The legendary Christian Marciano will be gone after this season, and Cape Town's defensive line needs a serious boost now. Sergei Nunkanblok is a good earner who will be able to step into a starting role for Cape Town immediately and be a great complementary piece to Jason Steele.
Grade: A
2.5 Orange County Otters select
T.J Enterfeltd DT 67 TPE at time of writing
If one position on Orange County would be considered a weakness, it would be their defensive line. The computer has elected to give them some help here, but has chosen an interesting player for the job. T.J Enterfeltd has earned 17 TPE so far, but has yet to spend a single point of it, and seems to have not been online in the past week and a half.
Grade: F
2.6 Berlin Fire Salamanders select
Aaron Ford RB 118 TPE at time of writing
Armor Queen is aging, and Pete Zuh will be out of the league soon. Kyle Bessey is a fine option as a change of pace back, but Berlin needs the future of the RB position to be certain. Aaron Ford is an ok option, but there are multiple higher TPE RBs still available at this point.
Grade: C
2.7 Arizona Outlaws select
PeePee Poop-Eater Jr. S 185 TPE at time of writing
Arizona currently has two safeties on the roster, both of which will be facing regression in a few seasons. PeePee Poop-Eater Jr. is a great earner who will reinforce a future position of need for Arizona for quite some time if he continues his current trajectory.
Grade: A+
2.8 New York Silverbacks select
Purdy Mediocre RB 234 TPE at time of writing
Frank Dux is currently the highest TPE RB in the entire league. That being said, he will soon be facing regression. Behind him in the backfield is a RB who is currently deeper into regression. Purdy Mediocre is the highest earning RB in the class, and would stabilize the position deep into Dux's eventual regression.
Grade: A+
2.9 Colorado Yeti select
Scorch von Turbo RB 202 TPE at time of writing
Colorado recently drafted a max earning RB in the previous draft class. Getting another max earning RB in back to back drafts is an interesting strategy, and would lead to an extremely powerful backfield. The only thing holding this pick back is that it is not even close to a need.
Grade: A-
2.10 Chicago Butchers select
Devin Jones CB 239 TPE at time of writing
As previously discussed, CB is a position of need for Chicago. The difference between this and their previous pick is that Devin Jones leads the S46 draft class in TPE. This is easily the best pick so far in the entire draft.
Grade: S
2.11 Austin Copperheads select
Chopper Donquixote WR 210 TPE at time of writing
Austin's WR room is regressing, and needs a shot in the arm quickly. Chopper Donquixote has been a max earner so far, and would very quickly rise to WR1 status in Austin.
Grade: S
2.12 Baltimore Hawks select
Drake Wane S 141 TPE at time of writing
Baltimore's safety room is fine. They have three safeties all above 700 TPE, but none are above 1000. Unfortunately, they will all be entering regression soon, and replacements are needed. Drake Wane is a good option, but there are multiple better safeties still available at this point.
Grade: B
2.13 Sarasota Sailfish select
KrustyKrab Pizza WR 220 TPE at time of writing
Sarasota currently has two receivers above 1000 TPE. However, they are both in regression, and it will be hitting them hard very soon. Behind them they have, no one else on the roster. KrustyKrab Pizza is the best available receiver, and should be able to step in as the WR1 when Johnny Blaze Jr. and Thomas Robinson are gone.
Grade: S
2.14 Honolulu Hahalua select
Squints Jr WR 60 TPE at time of writing
Honolulu currently has 3 receivers on their roster, two of which are above 1000 TPE, one of whom is regressing. Their third WR is sitting at 931 TPE, and will be a bit before he starts regressing. WR is not a need for Honolulu, and it will take quite some time before Squints Jr becomes a major contributor for Honolulu. What is saving this pick is that he seems to be active.
Grade: D+
The computer had either really good picks, or really bad picks. Not a lot of in between.
I wonder if any GMs will take this as a guide on what to do.
![[Image: 74556_s.gif]](https://signavatar.com/74556_s.gif)
![[Image: Jordan_Bamford_Poster_Initials_v2.png?ex...f9f50c00a&]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1157897233799323790/1177802864895213709/Jordan_Bamford_Poster_Initials_v2.png?ex=663ae7e5&is=66399665&hm=4d40e3cd3193351915ece55c5cf0555c9f0d7b3bda41925e97e3251f9f50c00a&)
![[Image: X0b4qFW.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/X0b4qFW.gif)
