09-26-2024, 05:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2024, 09:42 AM by ProdigalSon. Edited 1 time in total.)
Taonga Kofi is the best safety in the DSFL. He comes from a land down under but not the one you would think. He is from South Africa, the great rugby playing nation but instead chose to play the lesser sport of American football, probably because he is not very good at rugby. He claims to not be very bright however he was accepted to UT Austin (not on a football scholarship!) by getting lucky on all the tests needed for entry, guessing every answer correctly even though he had no clue. He made his way onto the UT football team by attending the tryouts on the same day that a mass food poisoning outbreak was taking place meaning he was the only safety to attend. Then, after the team’s actual safeties were all in a freak accident that led to them all being unable to play, Taonga got to play in actual games.
He currently plays in a land down under, this time actually in Australia, on the Bondi Beach Buccaneers who are a very good team. He was recently drafted to the ISFL, once again getting lucky and being drafted first overall because the team’s GM accidentally pronounced the actual first overall pick’s name wrong in such a way that it sounded like Taonga Kofi and the Commissioner wouldn’t let him change it.
Since Taonga Kofi is still alive, I asked them if they had anything to had to this short biography and it turns they did. Firstly, they were very unhappy with the Berlin Salamander’s GM. They are apparently “stinky”, possibly because they smell bad or possibly because they didn’t draft Taonga in the ISFL draft. I’m not sure which. He also wanted to give a shoutout to his best friends Cyrus MacDougall and Super Sonic, although when I asked them for comments neither of them knew who Taonga Kofi was. Finally, he had an awful lot to say about Lasso Jones, the Dallas Birddogs’ captain. I could easily fill a thousand words with his rant about Lasso but unfortunately none of it is able to printed here so you will have to use your imagination.
359 words
358/359 by me
1/359 by @midknight
He currently plays in a land down under, this time actually in Australia, on the Bondi Beach Buccaneers who are a very good team. He was recently drafted to the ISFL, once again getting lucky and being drafted first overall because the team’s GM accidentally pronounced the actual first overall pick’s name wrong in such a way that it sounded like Taonga Kofi and the Commissioner wouldn’t let him change it.
Since Taonga Kofi is still alive, I asked them if they had anything to had to this short biography and it turns they did. Firstly, they were very unhappy with the Berlin Salamander’s GM. They are apparently “stinky”, possibly because they smell bad or possibly because they didn’t draft Taonga in the ISFL draft. I’m not sure which. He also wanted to give a shoutout to his best friends Cyrus MacDougall and Super Sonic, although when I asked them for comments neither of them knew who Taonga Kofi was. Finally, he had an awful lot to say about Lasso Jones, the Dallas Birddogs’ captain. I could easily fill a thousand words with his rant about Lasso but unfortunately none of it is able to printed here so you will have to use your imagination.
359 words
358/359 by me
1/359 by @midknight
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