When it comes to deciding who to prank, the most obvious answer is the person who'd give the biggest and best reaction. In the Hawk's locker room, this person would be Franklin Harris, the often too serious Defensive Tackle. The most recent prank played on Harris was witnessed by the media after the final preseason game. The rest of the team, mainly the Hawk's star linebacker Kurt Hendrix, decided to alter the playlists on Harris' phone. While he may know not to now, his phone at the time was without a password, allowing the other players to set all of his playlists to only Taylor Swift songs. Harris is known to cool off after the game through his headphones, and once he turned on his usual playlist, the prank took hold. Harris was then heard yelling every word that shouldn't be on TV at his teammates, and didn't cool off until the Hawk's Head Coach pulled him aside and told him to knock it off. All-in-all, this was a learning experience for both the team and the media to watch out for any pranks aimed at Franklin Harris. As for the rest of us here in Baltimore, here's hoping Harris fixes his playlist before the first game of the regular season, so that he's in his best mood and is ready to get to the Quarterback.
So I take it you all know of Jogn Floggity? Right? Well for you who don't know he's a big 300lb offensive lineman on the Wraiths. Fun Fact. He also holds the NSFL Scouting Combine Bench Press record. Yeah, 51 reps, he benched 225lbs of weight 51 times, we reckon he's the strongest dude in the league. Boy does he know it, Jogn the type of guy to brag during his lifts, to scold you if you can't lift half of what he's lifting. So me and the guys got him good last week. We recently found out about a site called fakeweights.com, we bought a few barbell plates and one thing led to another and we decided to challenge Jogn. Basically who ever could lift the heaviest weight. We started low with our fake weights (100lbs). I benched my fake ones, Jogn did his etc. This went all the way up to about 260lbs and Jogn couldn't believe I could equal his lift? Me being just 185lbs and all in total weight. We kept bumping up the weight and to our amusement, Jogn's face kept getting redder and redder, huffing and puffing after every weight. He was determined to beat us, in between our sets after moving up to nearly 300lbs, Jogn was cussing every single word. He was adamant we were cheating. Fast forward to 340lbs weight, Jogn lifted the weight just barely off the rack before giving the loudest yell we've heard that didn't come from the GM. He quickly racked the bar and clutched his chest. Long story short, Jogn Floggity was a great man, who lived a great life and everybody including his friends , teammates and family will miss him. R.I.P. buddy. 288 words
Some people say laughter is the best medicine, and after the pain of the Otters embarrassing defeat against the Outlaws most of the locker room certainly needed a cure. One player who made an effort to relieve the tension after the game was TE Josh Davidson, the eccentric and jolly young player who made a reputation as a jokester in training camp before making the team. His target was fellow Tight End George Wright Jr., whose stat line in the game was hardly impressive and included two catches in the closing minutes of the game in which Wright did little more than clutch the ball and fall over. Davidson let his teammate know what he thought of his wheels by placing a snail in one of his cleats while Wright had stepped away to speak with reporters. When he came back to discover something stuck in his shoes, he reached in to pull out a snail much to the amusement of bystanders. George, though, was more confused than anything, and plainly remarked, "You don't belong here..." before venturing off to find the animal a new home.
The Otters season will be defined by the coming weeks. There's no doubt that if there are more losses of this variety it will take a lot more than pranks to get this locker room back on track. Word Count: 224
Smirks and smiles were all around the rookie Marmeladov. Oblivious to the reason why, anyone around him could see his confusion and anxiousness as to why everyone was acting strange. As practice keep going shouts of “Hey Marmalade!” and “That's right jam it up Marmalade!”. Marmeladov practiced hard and seemed to not let it bother him too much. When finally told by the reporters that the name on the back of his jersey said Marmalade instead of Marmeladov, he laughed and said “Honestly I had no idea, I thought it was just a nickname they branded me with”.
Thinking that was the end of his rookie punishment he would go out to find his car filled with hundreds of jars of marmalade. Stacked to the roof, barely able to open his driver side door, the look of “are you kidding me” had Vikian’s teams on the floor laughing.“Luckily I they got the sweet orange marmalade. I like that one. Goes good with toast and peanut butter sandwiches” stated Marmeladov as he pulled glass jars out of his car. “I have a few guesses on who did this. I’ll figure it out by the end of this week and maybe I’ll repay them”.
Following on from a great victory by Colorado Yeti against the Baltimore Hawks in week one, players were in even more of a jovial mood when they came out to the car park to find defensive tackle Vinny Cox's car covered in tinfoil.
The 6ft5 run stuffer out of Tennessee, could do nothing more than laugh when he first saw his car, as running back duo Kieran O'Connell and Luke Tiernan scampered away like a pair of giddy school girls. One locker room source said that it was nothing more than a practical joke, and stemmed from the fact that Cox had destroyed an Amazon Echo which had been put in the locker room. "He was mumbling something about government agencies and wiretapping, the guys gave him a good ribbing about it, covering his baseball caps in tinfoil and what not. Nothing more than harmless fun." It seems that this is not the first time that Vinny Cox has been singled out for some of his long-held beliefs in conspiracy theories. As it turned out in recent weeks that he is a moderator of an online message board dedicated to the topic and with rumours that he has ghost written several articles on the Bilderberg group - a highly secretive group of political and industry leaders from around the world. Some say that during their annual conference, they plot out the future of the world for their own nefarious benefit. Either way, it remains to be seen if Cox will look to get any payback on the European duo dubbed "Gaelic Thunder." Don't know how to rezise the picture. Also @Gooney you might want to take a look at this
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Update Page [div align=center][/align] [div align=center][SELECT style="background-color:maroon; color:white; font-family:Arial; font-size: 12px; width: 400px; "][br] [OPTION]Scott Michaels || Colorado Yeti General Manager || #YetiNoises [OPTION]Birthplace: Scranton, Pennsylvania [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION] NSFL Regular Season Record [OPTION] S9: 3 - 1 [OPTION] S10: 9 - 5 [OPTION] S11: 8 - 6 [OPTION] S12: 6 - 8 [OPTION] S13: 8 - 6 [OPTION] Career: 34 - 26 (.567) [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION]NSFL Playoff Record [OPTION] S9: 0 - 1 [OPTION] S10: 0 - 1 [OPTION] S11: 0 - 1 [OPTION] S12: DNQ [OPTION] S13: 1 - 1 [OPTION] Career: 1 - 4 (.200) [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION] DSFL Regular Season Record [OPTION] S8: 10 - 4 [OPTION] S9: 9 - 5 [OPTION] Career: 19 - 9 (.792) [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION]DSFL Playoff Record [OPTION]S8: 1 - 1 [OPTION]S9 0 - 1 [OPTION] Career: 1 - 2 (.333) [OPTION]=========================================== [OPTION]Accolades [OPTION]S11 NSFL GM of the Year [OPTION]S9 DSFL NFCN Division Champions [OPTION]S8 DSFL NFC Conference Champions [OPTION]S8 DSFL NFCN Division Champions [OPTION]===========================================
Dan Miller is a firm believer in sleep. He advocated for a few beds as well as a couch in the locker room for players to rest. He says that if you are tired that you should have a nap and that it would be better than trying to just fight through the fatigue. He brought in a bunch of science and data backing up his claims to the management and convinced them to get this approved... And based on the gains and performance increases of the san jose sabercats, it seems to hold some merit. After the beds were brought in, Dan ended up taking a nap during one afternoon. Some of his other teamates brought him outside while asleep on the bed and put him on the middle of the field. He was very confused when he woke up but they also managed to softly make a sabercat icon on his chest with tanning lotion. It has since faded and he was more impressed then upset. Dan said "The guys might think I'm crazy for all this sleep stuff and they got me pretty good. I'm just glad that they decided to have some fun with it. Ever since that incident, more people have been napping between training sessions."
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Jack Durden was running his mouth in the locker room about how he’s a “legend” and a bunch of other stuff that no player who has played zero snaps should be talking about. So a couple of us decided to knock him down a peg. We need to work together as a team – one collective unit – and a player stepping outside those boundaries needs to be reined in.
So what we did was make sure he had difficulty showering that day – we hid his soap and shampoo – he has extreme dandruff ..and a rash – so he needs his specialty stuff. While he was searching we ordered industrial tubs of whipped cream from a supplier in the area and used it to fill his car with the whipped cream. Got him good. I think a couple of guys ended up live streaming his reaction – you’ve probably seen it. We think he got the message, he’s been quieter and more focused since the prank. Either that, or he’s plotting his revenge on all of us - which I'm looking forward to. We paid for the detailing of his car and he had no valuables in it. Just a very messy ride home for the dude. Another day in Outlaw land. 207 words
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A Prank Gone Right?
The offensive linemen for the Otters are known for being a little over the top sometimes. However recently when QB Hamilton suddenly showed up to the facility over a hundred pounds heavier and was plugged into the offensive line, people thought another Romeo Devitt situation had occurred. Little did they know that Angus Winchester and Gregor Clegane were the ones responsible. Hamilton had made a snide remark to the two large men about being overweight one day during camp. Winchester and Clegane, knowing full well that Hamilton was right, decided he needed a little humility, and decided to serve up a dish of humble pie. Over the course of the next few weeks Clegane and Winchester conspired to secretly inject butter, crisco, sugar, anything they could get their hands on into everything Hamilton put into his body while at the team's training facilities. "I kept a bottle of Steen's syrup in my locker that I would sneak onto the practice field. When Hamilton wasn't looking I'd pour some into his Gatorade, I must have done that 5 or 6 times a practice." Winchester recalls, "A couple times he even said something about it like 'Man, this gatorade tastes way too sweet.'" Clegane found his own ways to contribute as well. It has been leaked that he took Hamilton's favorite snack food, a jar of roasted peanuts, and poured a healthy portion of peanut oil into it every time. Even meals out weren't safe. The common practice of quarterbacks taking their linemen out to dinner was corrupted as well when the demonic duo got the staff at a Hooters involved and had them toss Hamilton's wings with triple the butter, right before they challenged him to a wing eating contest. Soon afterwards the effects revealed themselves, and it was obvious that Hamilton had lost the speed and mobility necessary for a quarterback. He began lifting with his new unit and they discovered an incredible strength potential. Hamilton was a beast under the bar. With the motivation of training with the strongest group in the league of Winchester, Boyd, and Clegane, Hamilton's lifts skyrocketed and he became a shoe-in for a position at guard. Asked about the unintended beneficial consequences of his actions, Gregor Clegane offered this: "Get that microphone out of my face before I tear your arms off." We didn't press him further. However when Winchester was questioned he gave us a bit more: "I guess every kid grows up wanting to be a quarterback and never bothers to see what could happen if they eat a lot and lift heavy weights. Hamilton was one of those guys who nobody saw the potential in." Hank Winchester (S25 - Current) - Scrub
Angus Winchester (S1-S12) - 4x Ultimus Champ - #2 Career Sacks - Hall of Fame
Cooter Bigsby (S14-S23) - S23 Ultimus Champ - #4 Career Yards - #4 Career TDs - 2x MVP - Hall of Fame
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