(S15) - PT1 - Signing Bonus

[timeconsumer]

Cooter Bigsby was happy to grab his nice check for his first season as a pro starter and go tear it up on the wild streets of Yellowknife the celebrate. First things first Cooter went out and got the nicest fucking dogsled in the showroom. It had all the top options, it's 10 dogpower, alloy skis, leather interior, and it's in a lovely Wraiths black paint coat. So then Cooter decided it's time to hit the streets in his new ride and look to have a good time. So first he hits up the hottest club in the city, The Sneezing Walrus Bar, Grill and Haberdashery. Cooter got a nice private table and ordered a bottle of their finest fermented caribou wine. It's a specialty item. So then he looks around trying to spy some good looking ladies and he sees Chief Moose Knuckle's daughter making eyes at him. So he waves her on over and pours her a glass of the caribou wine. Of course they gotta hit the dance floor and grind it out before he can get her back to his igloo later on. Then once they get back and she sees that fancy wolverine fur floor he just had installed and he sets the mood with the seal blubber candles it's all over baby.

[ScorpXCracker]

Dorfus Jimbo right now is seeing more money than he has ever had in his entire life, and he has no clue what to do with it. He is hesitant to buy equipment, as he is pretty sure he'll get arrested for drugs if he does, considering how expensive the equipment is. Jimbo has been buying a whole lot of Banjos, knowing full well that he will never see them ever again, as he only uses his one, who he named "Borfus".
Dorfus has been thinking of buying a ghost writer, to write two hundred word articles about various things. Dorfus has decided that he is too lazy to write these articles, and he usually procrastinates way too late and almost misses the deadline, but for some reason whenever he writes these articles he feels himself getting faster. He thinks that the extra speed he is feeling is due to the supposed drugs that is coming with the very expensive that he is buying at an absurd price.
Dorfus has also fulfilled a dream of his, and has bought two houses, next to each other, and has dug out the underneath and combined the two houses. He is doing this so that he can fool people by inviting them in the house, going underneath into the next house, then calling them and telling them they went into the wrong house.