A group of befuddeled reporters are sitting in the Baltimore hawks press room.
Fabricio baldari looking very unhappy but with a well brushed and well conditioned coat walks in from a door in the front left. He attemps to speak into the mike for a bit before grabbing it and bringing it with him as he paces around the stage.
" Look I'm sure you all saw the game last night. Once again the same series of refs that worked out conference championship game last year and screwed me and the team have come back around to twist the knife.
I had a perfectly legitimate sack and a well-preformed Tackle for Loss taken away from me and instead I was given a participation trophy tackle and a wholey undeserved unessisary roughness call. That unessasary roughness penalty is going on my perminate record now and I didn't even draw blood from the guy. I might have had a legitimate shot at the defensive rookie of the year award, that instead I didn't even receive a vote for, last year if I had those three tackle for losses correctly put on my record.
These refs are dangerous and are runining the legitimacy of this professional football leauge and need to be brought into line. I am hereby demanding that the National football sim leauge and its entire roster of professional, I assume certified, and I also am assuming went to college to dedicate their entire lives to their profession, Launch an investigation into these refs and their possible, maybe communist, maybe chadian libertarian modivtions for screwing me and the rest of the baltimore, maryland, the united states of america, that currently also claims the new england region of america as its rightful fandom clay, hawks.
I will now take questions.
Reporter 1: You have only had one sack this season despite the entire Baltimore Defense playing a lot better than last season, including Poopsie who is now at 7 sacks for the season. How do you feel about that? Are you in a sophomore slump? Is your new teammate Stevie Vassallo meeting expectations? Do you consider Poopsie a mentor? And what tick or habit do you wish GM Taco MacArthur would stop doing?
This is exactly what I'm talking about. These refs are taking real stats from me and making me look bad out there Poopsie is only getting those sacks beacuse I'm pulling double duty on my side of the D-line allowing poopsie to swim up and serve that dirt. and I'm entirely okay with that. But I'm there to get the tackles for loss when the oline gets fancy to open up a hole If I'm not getting those sacks when I butfumble some poor fool or get the Tackles for loss that I earn then I look like I'm some washed out fancy pants. Maller baller out
The next day right after the game Fabricio declined media availability but released a typed statement to be read by another player.
Thats what I'm talking about. You want to deny my greatness on those close calls I'm not even going to make it close anymore. You want your gloryboy virty to be the defensive MVP of the league? Too bad the bear community will not be denied in the NSFL any longer. I've come to Ball and Maul, Any blood spilt out there is on your hands now.
(end to the presser)
Fabricio baldari looking very unhappy but with a well brushed and well conditioned coat walks in from a door in the front left. He attemps to speak into the mike for a bit before grabbing it and bringing it with him as he paces around the stage.
" Look I'm sure you all saw the game last night. Once again the same series of refs that worked out conference championship game last year and screwed me and the team have come back around to twist the knife.
I had a perfectly legitimate sack and a well-preformed Tackle for Loss taken away from me and instead I was given a participation trophy tackle and a wholey undeserved unessisary roughness call. That unessasary roughness penalty is going on my perminate record now and I didn't even draw blood from the guy. I might have had a legitimate shot at the defensive rookie of the year award, that instead I didn't even receive a vote for, last year if I had those three tackle for losses correctly put on my record.
These refs are dangerous and are runining the legitimacy of this professional football leauge and need to be brought into line. I am hereby demanding that the National football sim leauge and its entire roster of professional, I assume certified, and I also am assuming went to college to dedicate their entire lives to their profession, Launch an investigation into these refs and their possible, maybe communist, maybe chadian libertarian modivtions for screwing me and the rest of the baltimore, maryland, the united states of america, that currently also claims the new england region of america as its rightful fandom clay, hawks.
I will now take questions.
Reporter 1: You have only had one sack this season despite the entire Baltimore Defense playing a lot better than last season, including Poopsie who is now at 7 sacks for the season. How do you feel about that? Are you in a sophomore slump? Is your new teammate Stevie Vassallo meeting expectations? Do you consider Poopsie a mentor? And what tick or habit do you wish GM Taco MacArthur would stop doing?
This is exactly what I'm talking about. These refs are taking real stats from me and making me look bad out there Poopsie is only getting those sacks beacuse I'm pulling double duty on my side of the D-line allowing poopsie to swim up and serve that dirt. and I'm entirely okay with that. But I'm there to get the tackles for loss when the oline gets fancy to open up a hole If I'm not getting those sacks when I butfumble some poor fool or get the Tackles for loss that I earn then I look like I'm some washed out fancy pants. Maller baller out
The next day right after the game Fabricio declined media availability but released a typed statement to be read by another player.
Thats what I'm talking about. You want to deny my greatness on those close calls I'm not even going to make it close anymore. You want your gloryboy virty to be the defensive MVP of the league? Too bad the bear community will not be denied in the NSFL any longer. I've come to Ball and Maul, Any blood spilt out there is on your hands now.
(end to the presser)
![[Image: alejandro_chainbreaker.jpg?width=769&height=364]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/372602034198806530/716040994080161802/alejandro_chainbreaker.jpg?width=769&height=364)
![[Image: 74043_s.gif]](https://signavatar.com/74043_s.gif)
