12-21-2019, 10:43 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-30-2019, 10:18 AM by Fordhammer.)
Well this feels like a good way to rake in some quick cash. It’s time to explore the origin story of Ed Barker, the future all-time great running back. Well when did this legendary-ness begin, you ask? Well even he doesn’t know. The son of teachers, Barker, a skinny half-asian kid, had little athletic talent, and most of it was in his speed. He spent a better part of his childhood running away from people, and what do you know, he became pretty darn fast. One day as he was sprinting for his bus, his high school football coach spotted him.
Somehow Ed got talked into trying out for a team and I guess all that running paid off because he outran the whole team. But scrawny as a stick and with zero muscles, the coach worried Ed would be steamrolled anytime somebody laid a hand on him. So he was only put into certain situations and spent most of his time that year on the bench. The next year, in his junior year, he put on some weight. Similarly to his distantly-related-relative Ed Barker who may or may not share this backstory, he spent the summer on his grandparents’ ranch and gained a ton of weight helping around on the ranch and eating a bunch of food. He didn’t lose a second of that speed, though. As a high school star now, he had to choose between baseball, football, and basketball now. Basketball was an easy knockout since he really didn’t have the hand-eye coordination for the sport, and didn’t really excel at throwing or shooting the ball. He tried out baseball for a while, but found out that being on a team with his distant relative didn’t really work out, having the same name meant tons of lineup mishaps and overall confusion. Well that left football. With his newfound strength, his coach wanted him to try out at DE or fullback, but that speed was too tantalizing, and he excelled in his new role as running back. Setting records was fun at his local high school, and it led to some highlight reels of him just straight-up out-running his opponents, but Barker wanted some more competition and he got it at UW. While not an elite football university, Barker wanted to stay close to home and chose the Huskies.
While on the Huskies, he found that while he was still the fastest player on the team, it was no longer by such a large margin, and he began to actively improve his speed so that he could be of the most help to his teammates. It didn’t lead to any awards or trophies, but he began to get noticed by scouts nationwide, so it was shocking when he entered the DSFL draft. So far he looks forward to running wild over the DSFL gridirons, and leading his new DSFL to a championship. After all, he is the future GOAT running back, and he needs a starting legacy to build on.
From the streets of Seattle to the bright lights of the DSFL, this is the story of Ed Barker: leader, visionary, sprinter, runner, captain, brainiac, champion, winner, inspirer, self-appointed expert at enlarging word counts to get some very specific special people some more fake league cash to buy some training thank you very much.
But I’m not done yet. I have some other very very very important messages to spread. And I want to reach 600 words. Anyways, Barker will look to help his team in any way he can, and will take league-minimum salary as long as every player on his team has a wombat somewhere in their pfp or he gets a lifetime supply of bacon burgers since Max made me hungry and I still haven’t gotten food. Now I’m done. You all are welcome.
PS: For the sake of being PC, I have Asian heritage/ancestors so I felt it was okay to label my player as a skinny asian kid, I obviously didn’t mean any harm by it. Hope y’all enjoyed! Wait. I need a few more words. Six more words. Three more words.
Somehow Ed got talked into trying out for a team and I guess all that running paid off because he outran the whole team. But scrawny as a stick and with zero muscles, the coach worried Ed would be steamrolled anytime somebody laid a hand on him. So he was only put into certain situations and spent most of his time that year on the bench. The next year, in his junior year, he put on some weight. Similarly to his distantly-related-relative Ed Barker who may or may not share this backstory, he spent the summer on his grandparents’ ranch and gained a ton of weight helping around on the ranch and eating a bunch of food. He didn’t lose a second of that speed, though. As a high school star now, he had to choose between baseball, football, and basketball now. Basketball was an easy knockout since he really didn’t have the hand-eye coordination for the sport, and didn’t really excel at throwing or shooting the ball. He tried out baseball for a while, but found out that being on a team with his distant relative didn’t really work out, having the same name meant tons of lineup mishaps and overall confusion. Well that left football. With his newfound strength, his coach wanted him to try out at DE or fullback, but that speed was too tantalizing, and he excelled in his new role as running back. Setting records was fun at his local high school, and it led to some highlight reels of him just straight-up out-running his opponents, but Barker wanted some more competition and he got it at UW. While not an elite football university, Barker wanted to stay close to home and chose the Huskies.
While on the Huskies, he found that while he was still the fastest player on the team, it was no longer by such a large margin, and he began to actively improve his speed so that he could be of the most help to his teammates. It didn’t lead to any awards or trophies, but he began to get noticed by scouts nationwide, so it was shocking when he entered the DSFL draft. So far he looks forward to running wild over the DSFL gridirons, and leading his new DSFL to a championship. After all, he is the future GOAT running back, and he needs a starting legacy to build on.
From the streets of Seattle to the bright lights of the DSFL, this is the story of Ed Barker: leader, visionary, sprinter, runner, captain, brainiac, champion, winner, inspirer, self-appointed expert at enlarging word counts to get some very specific special people some more fake league cash to buy some training thank you very much.
But I’m not done yet. I have some other very very very important messages to spread. And I want to reach 600 words. Anyways, Barker will look to help his team in any way he can, and will take league-minimum salary as long as every player on his team has a wombat somewhere in their pfp or he gets a lifetime supply of bacon burgers since Max made me hungry and I still haven’t gotten food. Now I’m done. You all are welcome.
PS: For the sake of being PC, I have Asian heritage/ancestors so I felt it was okay to label my player as a skinny asian kid, I obviously didn’t mean any harm by it. Hope y’all enjoyed! Wait. I need a few more words. Six more words. Three more words.
Code:
690 Words