Myrtle Beach Defense:
- 2nd in Tackles For Loss, 1st in Sacks
- 2nd in Interceptions, 1st in Passes Deflected
- 1st in Defensive TDs
DT:
Potential Losses: Pete Miller (Prospect)
Retaining: Dingus Hunk, Donte Shields, Bruce Waynner
Dingus Hunk had a solid season in his 7th go around in the DSFL. He would finish with a respectable 19 tackles and 3 sacks in 10 games. Mediocre production, but it was positive production nonetheless. The lack of TFLs and FFs is a cause for concern however. Another thing worth noting is that the lack of updates/activity in the last...checks notes...8 months.
Similarly to Dingus, Donte Shields is a certified DSFL vet at this point in his career. He finished the season with...a grand total of 3 tackles. The second lowest in his long career after missing the 2031 season due to...complications. However, with that being said, his 70 TPE could be useful to Myrtle Beach to get things off the ground initially, but he is in no shape to be a long-term starter on a contender.
Last but not least, enter Bruce Waynner, perennial benchwarmer. The 60 TPE DT has not accomplished a single thing in the last 3 seasons. Yes, 0 tackles in all 3 combined. Not a sack, not a tackle, not even a Game Played. This guy is used as a big booty to warm your star QBs spot while he’s actually...you know, playing. Something Waynner hasn’t been able to relate to since he was playing for Minnesota in 2030.
Right off the bat, DT looks like a big problem for a team that’s looking to contend right away after a disappointing playoffs last season. DL is a big position in the DSFL and offers a way for teams to shut down the constant run-first offenses that seem to be popular in this league
Positional Need: A+
DE:
Potential Losses: Immanuel Blackstone (DSFL Prospect), Ram Bunchess (KCC)
Retains: Bobby Boucher, Chuck Bartowski
Bobby Boucher is an amazing Defensive End and will continue to anchor this defensive line as he did last season. He finished the season tied for 2nd with 7 sacks, 1st among DEs in tackles (Not counting his teammate Ammond who is a natural linebacker), 3rd in TFLs with 17 and had 2 Forced Fumbles. Quite simply put he was a stud on the Buccaneers defensive line alongside teammate Adam Sexjoke.
Outside of standout Defensive End Bobby Boucher, they have exactly one DE, Chuck Bartkowski.
Chuck Bartkowski is a 57 TPE player who appeared in 3 games last season for the Buccaneers. Finishing the season with 0 tackles, 0 sacks and aside from the 3 GP, 0s across the board. Now, I’m going to be honest with you, if you thought Waynner was one level bad, allow me to introduce you to Bartkowski. Bartkowski was on a whole other level of being bad he was forced to play because he couldn’t even warm the bench properly. There’s simply no other explanation.
Myrtle may have one of the best Defensive Lines in the DSFL last season, but losing Sexjoke and having to potentially move Ammond back to his natural position at LB could hurt here. I believe that come draft time Myrtle Beach will be pursuing a DE to help Boucher out and allow Chuck to focus on bench warming.
Positional Need: B+
LB:
Potential Losses: Marlo Smart (NOR), James Lux (FA)
Retains: Matt Ammons
Another year, another dominant season put up by the legend Marlo Smart. Unfortunately this will be his only season donning purple and green as following the conclusion of S19 he will be heading back to his home of Norfolk.
However, Myrtle Beach will have the option to bring back Matt Ammons from the Defensive Line. Matt was an absolute beast last season, finishing 1st among people who lined up at DE in tackles with 96, T-4th in Sacks with 5, and even getting involved in pass coverage with 6 PDs
Losing Marlo Smart will be huge for this defense moving forward and with only 1 linebacker to their name, Myrtle Beach better figure its shit out quick because they only have 1 on their roster currently.
Positional Need: A+
CB:
Potential Losses: Kacey Dream (OCO call-up),
Retains: Troy Bryant, Groovy Johnson, Dax Frost
Wow.
Kacey.
Motherfuckin’.
Dream.
The perennial DBoTY finally got the call he’s been waiting for his entire career. Have I mentioned who called him? Oh, just the defending Ultimus Champions, Orange County. What a career Kacey’s had in the DSFL, multiple defensive accolades, MVP, Ultimini champion. Stories will be told and passed down in the Myrtle Beach locker room about this man for a long time. However his storied DSFL career will finally come to Myrtle Beach’s dismay. In to replace him will be his co-GM Dax Frost who hopes to keep the MB-DBoTY connection strong and two people that are more dead (in terms of activity plz) than my will to live at this point in Troy Bryant and Groovy Johnson.
Dax Frost is one of the most hyped rookies of the S21 Draft Class and is currently leading the class in TPE. Through 4 games in S19 he had 13 tackles, 2 Ints, 7 PDs and 1 Def TD. Impressive numbers although it was a small sample size.
Both Groovy Johnson and Troy Bryant would play 1 game each and accomplish as much as we have come to expect of low-level AI. Absolutely, positively, nothing. They were both as useful as tools locked up in a shed.
Moving forward, Myrtle Beach should consider looking into a CB to pair with (sighs and mumbles under breath) future star Dax Frost.
Position Need: B+
S:
Potential Losses: Jeffrey LaVert (Prospect), Rico Suave (Prospect), D’Angelo Thompson (FA), Awkward Sexjoke (Called Up)
Retains: FlimFam JimJam, Warren Stephens, Terrance Smith, Jamie Nkiah
Although the Buccaneers will still have several safeties going into next season, Terrance Smith is a 50 TPE inactive and hasn’t been active in a long time. It’d be hard to imagine him getting any playing time, much less stick on the roster for long.
FlimFam suffers from the similar inactivity bug that Terrance seems to have. However in their case, they have a manageable 81 TPE. FlimFam had received regular playing time to start last season and rewarded his GMs with a solid season. Although they would eventually lose out on playing time to newcomer sexy beast Jeffrey LaVert, their provided Myrtle Beach with steady performance and should the Buccaneers not get another safety to potentially replace JimJam, we might get a chance to bring them back for round 2.
Alongside FlimFlam is Team Captain (and my favorite person in the world) Warren Stephens. Warren was a slow starter and took some time to get his career off the ground, he truly blossomed towards the end of the season. Having a phenomenal game against Tijuana in the playoffs with it all on the line.
Warren Stephens is blossoming into a stud before our eyes and we need to acknowledge it. Although he had a slow start to Myrtle Beach’s last season he has an uncanny ability to get to the quarterback and make plays. Although FlimFlam may not be an ideal long-term solution, the position is still extremely flexible and can fill up holes all over the defense when needed to. I can see Myrtle Beach potentially taking a safety or two to replace FlimFlam or plug holes elsewhere in the defense
Outside of Warren Stephens, Flimflam and Terrance lies the hidden gem Jamie Nkiah. The diamond in the rough appeared recently with a sudden 60 TPE update. The decorated man with an ultimus and ultimini came out of the woodworks recently and could give Myrtle Beach a shot in the arm this upcoming season. He has shown the activity and looks prepared to help people remember why he's a 2-time champion in the NSFL universe.
Positional Need: C+
- 2nd in Tackles For Loss, 1st in Sacks
- 2nd in Interceptions, 1st in Passes Deflected
- 1st in Defensive TDs
DT:
Potential Losses: Pete Miller (Prospect)
Retaining: Dingus Hunk, Donte Shields, Bruce Waynner
Dingus Hunk had a solid season in his 7th go around in the DSFL. He would finish with a respectable 19 tackles and 3 sacks in 10 games. Mediocre production, but it was positive production nonetheless. The lack of TFLs and FFs is a cause for concern however. Another thing worth noting is that the lack of updates/activity in the last...checks notes...8 months.
Similarly to Dingus, Donte Shields is a certified DSFL vet at this point in his career. He finished the season with...a grand total of 3 tackles. The second lowest in his long career after missing the 2031 season due to...complications. However, with that being said, his 70 TPE could be useful to Myrtle Beach to get things off the ground initially, but he is in no shape to be a long-term starter on a contender.
Last but not least, enter Bruce Waynner, perennial benchwarmer. The 60 TPE DT has not accomplished a single thing in the last 3 seasons. Yes, 0 tackles in all 3 combined. Not a sack, not a tackle, not even a Game Played. This guy is used as a big booty to warm your star QBs spot while he’s actually...you know, playing. Something Waynner hasn’t been able to relate to since he was playing for Minnesota in 2030.
Right off the bat, DT looks like a big problem for a team that’s looking to contend right away after a disappointing playoffs last season. DL is a big position in the DSFL and offers a way for teams to shut down the constant run-first offenses that seem to be popular in this league
Positional Need: A+
DE:
Potential Losses: Immanuel Blackstone (DSFL Prospect), Ram Bunchess (KCC)
Retains: Bobby Boucher, Chuck Bartowski
Bobby Boucher is an amazing Defensive End and will continue to anchor this defensive line as he did last season. He finished the season tied for 2nd with 7 sacks, 1st among DEs in tackles (Not counting his teammate Ammond who is a natural linebacker), 3rd in TFLs with 17 and had 2 Forced Fumbles. Quite simply put he was a stud on the Buccaneers defensive line alongside teammate Adam Sexjoke.
Outside of standout Defensive End Bobby Boucher, they have exactly one DE, Chuck Bartkowski.
Chuck Bartkowski is a 57 TPE player who appeared in 3 games last season for the Buccaneers. Finishing the season with 0 tackles, 0 sacks and aside from the 3 GP, 0s across the board. Now, I’m going to be honest with you, if you thought Waynner was one level bad, allow me to introduce you to Bartkowski. Bartkowski was on a whole other level of being bad he was forced to play because he couldn’t even warm the bench properly. There’s simply no other explanation.
Myrtle may have one of the best Defensive Lines in the DSFL last season, but losing Sexjoke and having to potentially move Ammond back to his natural position at LB could hurt here. I believe that come draft time Myrtle Beach will be pursuing a DE to help Boucher out and allow Chuck to focus on bench warming.
Positional Need: B+
LB:
Potential Losses: Marlo Smart (NOR), James Lux (FA)
Retains: Matt Ammons
Another year, another dominant season put up by the legend Marlo Smart. Unfortunately this will be his only season donning purple and green as following the conclusion of S19 he will be heading back to his home of Norfolk.
However, Myrtle Beach will have the option to bring back Matt Ammons from the Defensive Line. Matt was an absolute beast last season, finishing 1st among people who lined up at DE in tackles with 96, T-4th in Sacks with 5, and even getting involved in pass coverage with 6 PDs
Losing Marlo Smart will be huge for this defense moving forward and with only 1 linebacker to their name, Myrtle Beach better figure its shit out quick because they only have 1 on their roster currently.
Positional Need: A+
CB:
Potential Losses: Kacey Dream (OCO call-up),
Retains: Troy Bryant, Groovy Johnson, Dax Frost
Wow.
Kacey.
Motherfuckin’.
Dream.
The perennial DBoTY finally got the call he’s been waiting for his entire career. Have I mentioned who called him? Oh, just the defending Ultimus Champions, Orange County. What a career Kacey’s had in the DSFL, multiple defensive accolades, MVP, Ultimini champion. Stories will be told and passed down in the Myrtle Beach locker room about this man for a long time. However his storied DSFL career will finally come to Myrtle Beach’s dismay. In to replace him will be his co-GM Dax Frost who hopes to keep the MB-DBoTY connection strong and two people that are more dead (in terms of activity plz) than my will to live at this point in Troy Bryant and Groovy Johnson.
Dax Frost is one of the most hyped rookies of the S21 Draft Class and is currently leading the class in TPE. Through 4 games in S19 he had 13 tackles, 2 Ints, 7 PDs and 1 Def TD. Impressive numbers although it was a small sample size.
Both Groovy Johnson and Troy Bryant would play 1 game each and accomplish as much as we have come to expect of low-level AI. Absolutely, positively, nothing. They were both as useful as tools locked up in a shed.
Moving forward, Myrtle Beach should consider looking into a CB to pair with (sighs and mumbles under breath) future star Dax Frost.
Position Need: B+
S:
Potential Losses: Jeffrey LaVert (Prospect), Rico Suave (Prospect), D’Angelo Thompson (FA), Awkward Sexjoke (Called Up)
Retains: FlimFam JimJam, Warren Stephens, Terrance Smith, Jamie Nkiah
Although the Buccaneers will still have several safeties going into next season, Terrance Smith is a 50 TPE inactive and hasn’t been active in a long time. It’d be hard to imagine him getting any playing time, much less stick on the roster for long.
FlimFam suffers from the similar inactivity bug that Terrance seems to have. However in their case, they have a manageable 81 TPE. FlimFam had received regular playing time to start last season and rewarded his GMs with a solid season. Although they would eventually lose out on playing time to newcomer sexy beast Jeffrey LaVert, their provided Myrtle Beach with steady performance and should the Buccaneers not get another safety to potentially replace JimJam, we might get a chance to bring them back for round 2.
Alongside FlimFlam is Team Captain (and my favorite person in the world) Warren Stephens. Warren was a slow starter and took some time to get his career off the ground, he truly blossomed towards the end of the season. Having a phenomenal game against Tijuana in the playoffs with it all on the line.
Warren Stephens is blossoming into a stud before our eyes and we need to acknowledge it. Although he had a slow start to Myrtle Beach’s last season he has an uncanny ability to get to the quarterback and make plays. Although FlimFlam may not be an ideal long-term solution, the position is still extremely flexible and can fill up holes all over the defense when needed to. I can see Myrtle Beach potentially taking a safety or two to replace FlimFlam or plug holes elsewhere in the defense
Outside of Warren Stephens, Flimflam and Terrance lies the hidden gem Jamie Nkiah. The diamond in the rough appeared recently with a sudden 60 TPE update. The decorated man with an ultimus and ultimini came out of the woodworks recently and could give Myrtle Beach a shot in the arm this upcoming season. He has shown the activity and looks prepared to help people remember why he's a 2-time champion in the NSFL universe.
Positional Need: C+