Hello! Agent Tesla here with the inside scoop on the S22 linebackers. I'm going to be doing one of these for each defensive position group, and maybe the offensive position groups too. Depends on my mood and how much work it takes to get my client interviews out of the way as well. Without any further ado we'll get to my measurement system for these recruits.
I will group these prospects into four tiers. The top tier is elite and they should be the first off the board for their position. Second is solid starter and they should be high quality starters, but have one or two knocks keeping them from elite status. Third is diamond in the rough because I believe that any of these youths could turn it around, but they have not put in the work necessary just yet. While the last group is the question marks for those recruits that I just do not know enough about to endorse.
Elite
Stanis?aw Koniecpolski - Balanced
I admit I am struggling to write anything as I try to figure out how to pronounce the name of this here prospect. Turns out I do not know how, but I do know how to measure this prospect relative to other linebackers. Stanislaw came out early and got right to work in making sure he was as good a linebacker prospect as you can find. While an all around player in college he has developed his hands and speed since then to be ideal in coverage. Should be one of the first players off the board.
Derred de Ville AKA The Red Devil - Speed Rusher
An international student with a nickname that will strike fear in the hearts of his DSFL opponents once they realize it is well deserved. Blazing fast speed on the field paired with a 6'4" frame is a terrifying thing to witness and especially when it is coming right at you. Speed will only get you so far if you cannot do anything with it, but Derred hits like a battleship and can bring down even the roughest of runners. He's getting better about picking up the rules of the game as well after a late start. Don't let his unique background mislead you this kid is a talent that will not be on the board long if general managers know what they are doing.
Mark Radson - Speed Rusher
Mark Radson is rad son and he will not let you forget it. Races around the field like a rally car chasing a podium finish, and if you look at his highlight reel it looks like he can hit like one too. If you think his personality would thrive in your locker room then I would jump on this prospect as quickly as possible. Much as I love the kid I do think he could afford to spend some time in the weight room and working on his cardio. That is about the only knock I can think of on this talented young man though.
Solid Starters
Lawrence Bass - Balanced
Bass is a prospect that I like a lot in a lot of ways, but especially because of the fact that he is a legacy in a way. You may know his father The Broncbuster and it looks like his son picked up plenty of talent from dear old dad to use in the league. He'll tell you himself he is not the strongest or fastest dude out there, but he isn't deficient in any of those areas either. Plus he has the stamina to make plays when it counts. Although he might disagree I think the coach at the University of Tennessee did him a bit dirty, but with a better coaching system I think this kid could be something special.
Samuel L Sackson Sr. - Speed Rusher
A young father out of Notre Dame that has a superb skill set for the league. Freaky fast flying around the field although with a tendency to go a bit too far when it comes to sacking opposing quarterbacks. If you like your pass rushers to do their thing with extra venom then Samuel L Sackson Sr is the one you want. He has the strength to make it hurt for the opponent and the personality to want it make it hurt for the opponent. So long as you don't mind the weird perspiration situation he has going on. Maybe get your team doctors to look into that. It cannot be healthy.
Sean O’Donohue - Balanced
A textbook linebacker who can do anything that you would ask of him. Reliable in just about any situation with a skill set to cover in all sorts of situations. Strong and agile enough to go toe to toe with the running backs in the league. Fast enough to keep up with most tight ends and a sure enough tackler to bring them down. Also got a good enough stamina to stay in the game for the duration. Could use a bit of polishing in my honest opinion, but seems like the kind of kid that could take to it well. I look forward to seeing him take the next step.
Cadillac Mitchell - Speed Rusher
Cadillac does not look at all like his namesake when he is on the field, but to be fair to his parents Cadillac is a much better name than Lancer. A defensive line convert from Monmouth University who has a speed that does stand out even in this heavy speed rush class. All the speed in the world though does not match up to the right attitude and that is where I believe that this kid shines. Needs a bit more push to move into the elite category, but I want to say that this kid can make that push with the right supporting cast.
George 'Corpse Grinder' Fisher - Speed Rusher
George is a big bodied boy from Maryland with a nickname that worries me about getting too close regardless of how much he claims to be a teddy bear that loves puppies. That is the exact kind of thing a serial killer would say. Despite his big bodied neck he is freaky fast enough that you might confuse him for a certain sandwich delivery company. Unfortunately all that the Corpse Grinder brings is the pain and not a single delicious sandwich. Possibly the fastest linebacker in the class, although at the expense of not being particularly well rounded. Still this kid has enough work ethic from his time as the lead singer of Cannibal Corpse to warrant being an early draft pick. Just don't leave me alone with him please.
Kal Solarin - Speed Rusher
Coming from the University of Cape Town makes Kal another exceptional international draft prospect. He has demonstrated a decent enough consistency that I feel like he could make a solid starter, and shows the potential to turn into something more. Although his sole superior stat is speed that is more than enough in this game that we play, although if you disagree they seem agreeable enough to develop talents elsewhere. Something about them just makes me want to root for their success.
Diamond in the Rough
Devaunte Sackpieder - Speed Rusher
Devaunte is the exact type of kid that you want to see coming out for the DSFL draft as it shows he made it whether he gets drafted or not. After the horror show that he went through as a youth the fact that he is here it all is a testament to his ability to carry on. He's got that same kind of energy on the field where he is able to blitz with blinding speed from the first snap to the last snap. Rumors have circulated about something having happened to the young man though, but if you can confirm it is just a rumor I would bump this kid up your draft board.
Nicolas Stone - Speed Rusher
Pepperdine is not exactly a school known for putting out top tier NSFL players or even quality DSFL players if we are being honest. However one might have just sneaked on through in the form of Nicolas Stone. A speed rusher with superb hips who was able to blow by the tackles that he played against. Sure his film may not mean as much given the school he attended, but I do think he has demonstrated enough talent that a good coach could polish him into something better. Just gotta get the kid involved.
Buster Holiday - Balanced
The second Buster of the linebacker groups and one with a festive surname! Coming out of Miami you can be sure that this kid is a fun time when you can get him around off the field. Solid strength for an all around style linebacker. More than enough speed for an all around style linebacker. Bonus of a motor that will last you when you need to head home for Thanksgiving dinner. No complaints, but nothing extraordinary either. Needs to do more than have a fun name to set himself apart.
Julius Andersson - Speed Rusher
Mr. Andersson is an interesting case out of Georgia. He has talent that you love to see from a speed rusher in the form of hyper hips and that flexibility to bend around a tackle. The kid has speed too if I am being honest, although not enough to set him apart from a class that is absolutely filled to the brim with speed rushers. Also desperately needs to work on his endurance if he wants to make use of what speed he does have on the field. All that said those hips do not lie and if you can figure out how to help him tap into that talent he could be good for you.
Jason Kreuscher - Balanced
A good all around linebacker if you are looking for one in the later rounds of the draft. Strong enough to bring down most skill players and even tango with an offensive lineman or two. Fast enough to deal with most tight ends and power backs, and maybe even a speedy back or wide receiver. Tackling form is exactly what you want to see out of your linebacker corps. His solid swimmer build provides a good framework to build on if you can get him into the gym, and when it comes to that it is just up to Jason if he wants to take the next step or not.
Leeroy Jenkins - Coverage Linebacker
Leeroy Jenkins might be more of a coverage linebacker, but he is always the first player to charge in regardless of the situation. Combined with his terrific speed and he might just be the most probable linebacker in this class to get first touch on a tackle attempt. Oddly for one who rushes in as fast as he does Leeroy is rarely seen out of position and so could be a good choice if you are desperate for a Will like Derrick Brooks. Needs to be brought into the weight room early and often, but that requires getting the kid motivated first.
Brendan Lanier - Balanced
Coming from the University of West Florida you would expect a wild party animal and a similar style of play on the field, but you would be dead wrong. I don't recall this kid getting flagged once during his time in college, and I have heard rumors he has not been flagged since peewee football. Even heard one that his sole flag in peewee was from a referee that was tired of how this kid dominated. He has had a good tackling form and a motor his entire career, but needs to develop some better weapons to go with them. Whether it be the weight room or the treadmill get him on one and work him until his engine gives out. If you can convince him it is for the best you might just have a superb all around threat at linebacker.
Tom Thorne - Coverage Linebacker
The name Thorne always brings too many thoughts to mind as I have known a great deal of people with some variation of it. Thankfully my memory is good enough to differentiate them and although Tom is rather plain I can say he at least has the speed to play coverage in the DSFL. His work ethic is a question mark as I do not know how hard he has worked off the field, but on the field you can count on him from down to down. Just got to see if he shows up to the locker room or not.
Calvin McMann - Power Rusher
My initial tallies suggested the coverage linebacker would be the rarity, but it looks like I was wrong as Calvin is just the second power rush linebacker that I have graded thus far. I also have to say that I love his attitude from what I have seen even though his overall work ethic leaves a little something to be desired. If you can convince him to work with you I think he could be a fantastic contributor, and if not he could still be a decent rotational piece with his combination of strength and speed.
Fawn Dillmiballs - Coverage Linebacker
Now that is a name! You just want to shout it from the rooftops right? Anyway Fawn is a talented tackler coming out of the University of Michigan and is projected to go 69th overall for reasons that should be patently obvious. Needs to do a little more work in the weight room to really wow me, but his combination of agility and speed make up for it fairly well. Also has done enough cardio to keep up with the rest of the league.
Lloyd Collins - Speed Rusher
I was going to make a comment here about his name having four Ls in it, but I have to say Lloyd is an interesting prospect. He has shown enough work ethic that I think he could move up a tier with the right coaching staff, although right now his work is directionless enough that I worry if he will be able to keep it up. If you read this Lloyd I want you to know that I am rooting for you, and I want you to go by the nickname of quad L cause I think you can dish those Ls out to opposing teams. Just need to work a bit on strength and stamina, and maybe improve your speed to be more of a weapon.
Hiram Abiff - Balanced
He comes from that college in Massachusetts that you are not allowed to say because if you say it you sound overly pretentious even though everyone knows what you mean when you say it the other way. Whatever he at least has a neat name and is a tackling machine with balanced athleticism. Strength, speed, stamina, and agility in equal parts like a well made cake. Could be the steal of the draft, or he could retire tomorrow to make use of whatever he learned in college. Either way we wish him the best.
Spike Suzuki - Speed Rusher
Born in Tokyo, but played at San Jose State University so you know he has a firm grasp of the game. Of course if he read Eyeshield 21 like I did he might just have had a firm grasp of the game already. A super fast speedster, although unfortunately in a draft class that is just so full of speed rushers that it is hard to stand out. That said Spike is a super cool name and Suzuki is a unique surname that reminds me of Ichiro. So as far as I am concerned they get my stamp of approval and should go on to be a hall of fame candidate if they put in the work.
Question Marks
Ronnie "The Bone Crusher" Schultz - Power Rusher
You do not earn a nickname like that for nothing without being a professional wrestler. Which honestly this kid might be doing on the side given his combination of size and strength. It would also explain his tackling form and talent for avoiding unnecessary penalties. After all you need a huge amount of control over your strength to make it as a professional wrestler from what I know about it. While this kid has an A+ nickname and enough athleticism to make it; I don't see the effort needed to go the distance.
Caloe Peara - Speed Rusher
Caloe is a Michigan native who went on to play at Michigan State. He is a speed rusher in a class that is overloaded at the position, and unfortunately does not appear to have anything that really sets himself apart from this daunting draft class. I can say he does have the speed that you would expect from a pass rusher who relies on it and does have enough endurance to contribute for the majority of the game. Lack of effort to make himself stand out though leaves him as a last ditch option.
Buster Nelson - Balanced
Buster is an all around linebacker who was a reliable starter during his time at Ohio State. He has great speed for an all rounder that allows him to make plays with better range than most similar linebackers. Along with a very good understanding of the game that guarantees he will be in the right position on the field. Unfortunately he might just be too smart as it seems like he has grown bored with the sport. Unless he proves otherwise this is a prospect that I have to suggest you steer clear from.
Michael Smydzyck - Run Stopper
Do me a favor real fast. Look at the name that I just wrote of this prospect and then try to pronounce it. Do you think you got it right on the first try? I think this is a kid that was able to show a solid amount of strength and speed throughout college that would be worth playing if you could get him in the right locker room. Getting him to show up though is going to be the hard part, and I think you are just as likely to land him in your locker room as you were to pronounce his name correctly.
Raheem Bird - Balanced
A smart linebacker who knows how to get involved in plays all over the field. Fast enough to cover that distance too and even faster than some speed oriented linebackers. Also has fairly good hands for a linebacker and could rack up a few interceptions against the quarterbacks in the DSFL. Unfortunately like Buster Nelson he might just be too smart as it seems like he too has grown tired of the sport. If you can get him to show up and dedicate himself he could be a good prospect, but otherwise it is a buyer beware situation.
Samuel Miller - Speed Rusher
Plain old name for a plain old prospect unfortunately. I do not want to be rude to any of these prospects as they have all worked hard just to get here, however there is nothing I could write about this kid that would stand out relative to the pack. His name is Samuel Miller and he is from Boise State! How do you get more plain than that? The only thing you are going to get if you tap this kid is some white mana. If you could get him hooked up with some coaching before the draft maybe, but as of right now he has not shown the work needed to make it in this league.
Sawyer Brutalitops - Speed Rusher
Sawyer is okay, but anyone with the last name Brutalitops has the potential to be a superstar no matter what position they are applying to in my opinion. Can you tell me you would not trust a Doctor Brutalitops? President Brutalitops? Unfortunately for all of us here in the league this kid may have just had too much potential lurking inside of him to stick around and found his calling elsewhere. He's got the strength and the speed if he decides to commit to the league, but as of right now we have to let him spread his scales elsewhere.
Nat Wright - Coverage Linebacker
Nat Wright is one of the rare and coveted coverage linebackers in this draft. He has the speed to make plays all over the field, although his hands are not good enough to come away with many picks unfortunately. Especially when you take into consideration his smarts mean he would usually be in good position to get those picks otherwise. Solid at pass defense though when you take into account his combination of speed, smarts, and stamina. Unfortunately it seems like every super smart linebacker has considered walking away from the game and would have to be convinced to come back.
Leo Browning - Coverage Linebacker
Leo is a more all around style coverage linebacker if I am being an honest judge. He is strong, but not the strongest. Got the agility, but is far from the most dexterous in his class. Speed is exactly what you want out of a linebacker who you expect to make plays all over the field at the very least. It will even last most of the game thanks to his work on endurance. Unfortunately he does not seem to have put in any real work since his last game in college, and unless that changes he is just another case of what could have been.
Johnnie McCartney - Coverage Linebacker
Coming out of the University of Alberta the one thing you can guarantee is that this kid knows how to play in the snow. He also has that nice Canadian attitude that you love to have on a team as he can be a decent supporting piece to a more typical American athlete. You can only have so many diva players on a team after all. Not sure if he is homesick or what, but there are rumors circulating that he is planning on heading back home for good. If you can convince the kid to stay down here he could be a solid player, and if not Canada will get to keep a top talent.
Fatso Wombat - Run Stopper
I am looking at all of my files scouting out all of the competition at the draft and I am reminded of this kid. You look at that name and his style of play and I swear you have a great defensive tackle in the making. Still a solid linebacker though with speed and tackling that you need to have out of a guy who is out there to stop the run. Also has the greased up motor that will run all game long. Maybe he was mistaken as an actual wombat and got hit by a hunter though cause I have not seen him since initial interviews.
Raiden Briggs - Run Stopper
Raiden the thunder god from Mortal Kombat is a cool character and clearly this kid could be too. Especially when you consider Briggs the record setting FBI agent from Graceland and what that series could have been. This kid could be as much of a baller as both of them combined if he put in the effort, but unfortunately when you are born with a name like Raiden Briggs the shoes to fill can be too much for you. Best of luck to him wherever he is now. May he, Fatso Wombat, and Sawyer Brutalitops carry on in the aether and form a super group.
Eugene McEvan - Balanced
Eugene. Eugene from the University of Missouri. No superb talents to name, no funny name to make a comment about, and not even an interesting area of origin for me to tie some grand story to for this kid. You want to see a generic generalist linebacker then look no further than Eugene McEvan. If he comes hard for the draft and makes a push he could be something, but without it he is just another Eugene. By some miracle you read this Eugene, or anyone else for that matter: I bear no ill will, but I hope it lights the fire that causes you to set the league ablaze.
Daniel Ross - Speed Rusher
Going through my files I was almost worried I was going to run out of speed rushers early. Ross is a special talent in the sense that he is especially fast, but not much else to write about here. Just like Eugene he has got a basic boring name that I cannot make a funny comment about, and just like Eugene he is probably not going to show up to training camp. The sheer number of deserters I have gone through at this point is disheartening, but I will continue because I promised you I would and not at all because I am being bribed with absurd amounts of money by my sponsors.
Chudds Whittaker - Speed Rusher
One of his classmates tried to convince me that Chudds was related to Forest Whitaker, but even showing that Forest's wikipedia page suggests he only has one T did nothing to convince them. Maybe Chudds family added an extra T and is a branch of the same tree that Forest came from. Either way it does not matter a single ounce as I doubt that you have read this far, and if you have...seriously thank you. Get yourself a cookie you deserve it. Chudds is a more all around type linebacker with decent strength and agility, solid speed and tackling, but only okay stamina for the position. Also probably long gone unfortunately.
Jack Banks - Balanced
An all around type linebacker from Cal that could play Sam, Mike, Will, or ILB for a 3-4. Perfectly balanced strength, speed, and stamina just like you want your books to be. Possibly related to a really cool judge from Bel Air, but unfortunately for everyone involved none of my sources were able to confirm or deny. Actually now that I check none of my sources can confirm or deny Jack's existence. Jack Banks if you read this please let me know you exist, and whether are not you are of any relation to judge Philip Banks.
Summary
Whole lot of people to go through this time, but I am glad you stuck with me! Especially as I may have gone a bit mad in the middle there. Totals are three elite prospects, six solid starters, thirteen potential diamonds in the rough, and sixteen question marks. Jumping Jehoshaphat that is a lot of question marks. Still there are a few elites to go around and enough quality starters that each team could land one. I also do think there are at least a couple of diamonds in the rough that really will shine with proper handling in this particular class. Also a whole lot of speed rushers running around out there. Best of luck to the linebackers of S22 and may all of you outperform your draft position.
Word Count: 4378
I will group these prospects into four tiers. The top tier is elite and they should be the first off the board for their position. Second is solid starter and they should be high quality starters, but have one or two knocks keeping them from elite status. Third is diamond in the rough because I believe that any of these youths could turn it around, but they have not put in the work necessary just yet. While the last group is the question marks for those recruits that I just do not know enough about to endorse.
Elite
Stanis?aw Koniecpolski - Balanced
I admit I am struggling to write anything as I try to figure out how to pronounce the name of this here prospect. Turns out I do not know how, but I do know how to measure this prospect relative to other linebackers. Stanislaw came out early and got right to work in making sure he was as good a linebacker prospect as you can find. While an all around player in college he has developed his hands and speed since then to be ideal in coverage. Should be one of the first players off the board.
Derred de Ville AKA The Red Devil - Speed Rusher
An international student with a nickname that will strike fear in the hearts of his DSFL opponents once they realize it is well deserved. Blazing fast speed on the field paired with a 6'4" frame is a terrifying thing to witness and especially when it is coming right at you. Speed will only get you so far if you cannot do anything with it, but Derred hits like a battleship and can bring down even the roughest of runners. He's getting better about picking up the rules of the game as well after a late start. Don't let his unique background mislead you this kid is a talent that will not be on the board long if general managers know what they are doing.
Mark Radson - Speed Rusher
Mark Radson is rad son and he will not let you forget it. Races around the field like a rally car chasing a podium finish, and if you look at his highlight reel it looks like he can hit like one too. If you think his personality would thrive in your locker room then I would jump on this prospect as quickly as possible. Much as I love the kid I do think he could afford to spend some time in the weight room and working on his cardio. That is about the only knock I can think of on this talented young man though.
Solid Starters
Lawrence Bass - Balanced
Bass is a prospect that I like a lot in a lot of ways, but especially because of the fact that he is a legacy in a way. You may know his father The Broncbuster and it looks like his son picked up plenty of talent from dear old dad to use in the league. He'll tell you himself he is not the strongest or fastest dude out there, but he isn't deficient in any of those areas either. Plus he has the stamina to make plays when it counts. Although he might disagree I think the coach at the University of Tennessee did him a bit dirty, but with a better coaching system I think this kid could be something special.
Samuel L Sackson Sr. - Speed Rusher
A young father out of Notre Dame that has a superb skill set for the league. Freaky fast flying around the field although with a tendency to go a bit too far when it comes to sacking opposing quarterbacks. If you like your pass rushers to do their thing with extra venom then Samuel L Sackson Sr is the one you want. He has the strength to make it hurt for the opponent and the personality to want it make it hurt for the opponent. So long as you don't mind the weird perspiration situation he has going on. Maybe get your team doctors to look into that. It cannot be healthy.
Sean O’Donohue - Balanced
A textbook linebacker who can do anything that you would ask of him. Reliable in just about any situation with a skill set to cover in all sorts of situations. Strong and agile enough to go toe to toe with the running backs in the league. Fast enough to keep up with most tight ends and a sure enough tackler to bring them down. Also got a good enough stamina to stay in the game for the duration. Could use a bit of polishing in my honest opinion, but seems like the kind of kid that could take to it well. I look forward to seeing him take the next step.
Cadillac Mitchell - Speed Rusher
Cadillac does not look at all like his namesake when he is on the field, but to be fair to his parents Cadillac is a much better name than Lancer. A defensive line convert from Monmouth University who has a speed that does stand out even in this heavy speed rush class. All the speed in the world though does not match up to the right attitude and that is where I believe that this kid shines. Needs a bit more push to move into the elite category, but I want to say that this kid can make that push with the right supporting cast.
George 'Corpse Grinder' Fisher - Speed Rusher
George is a big bodied boy from Maryland with a nickname that worries me about getting too close regardless of how much he claims to be a teddy bear that loves puppies. That is the exact kind of thing a serial killer would say. Despite his big bodied neck he is freaky fast enough that you might confuse him for a certain sandwich delivery company. Unfortunately all that the Corpse Grinder brings is the pain and not a single delicious sandwich. Possibly the fastest linebacker in the class, although at the expense of not being particularly well rounded. Still this kid has enough work ethic from his time as the lead singer of Cannibal Corpse to warrant being an early draft pick. Just don't leave me alone with him please.
Kal Solarin - Speed Rusher
Coming from the University of Cape Town makes Kal another exceptional international draft prospect. He has demonstrated a decent enough consistency that I feel like he could make a solid starter, and shows the potential to turn into something more. Although his sole superior stat is speed that is more than enough in this game that we play, although if you disagree they seem agreeable enough to develop talents elsewhere. Something about them just makes me want to root for their success.
Diamond in the Rough
Devaunte Sackpieder - Speed Rusher
Devaunte is the exact type of kid that you want to see coming out for the DSFL draft as it shows he made it whether he gets drafted or not. After the horror show that he went through as a youth the fact that he is here it all is a testament to his ability to carry on. He's got that same kind of energy on the field where he is able to blitz with blinding speed from the first snap to the last snap. Rumors have circulated about something having happened to the young man though, but if you can confirm it is just a rumor I would bump this kid up your draft board.
Nicolas Stone - Speed Rusher
Pepperdine is not exactly a school known for putting out top tier NSFL players or even quality DSFL players if we are being honest. However one might have just sneaked on through in the form of Nicolas Stone. A speed rusher with superb hips who was able to blow by the tackles that he played against. Sure his film may not mean as much given the school he attended, but I do think he has demonstrated enough talent that a good coach could polish him into something better. Just gotta get the kid involved.
Buster Holiday - Balanced
The second Buster of the linebacker groups and one with a festive surname! Coming out of Miami you can be sure that this kid is a fun time when you can get him around off the field. Solid strength for an all around style linebacker. More than enough speed for an all around style linebacker. Bonus of a motor that will last you when you need to head home for Thanksgiving dinner. No complaints, but nothing extraordinary either. Needs to do more than have a fun name to set himself apart.
Julius Andersson - Speed Rusher
Mr. Andersson is an interesting case out of Georgia. He has talent that you love to see from a speed rusher in the form of hyper hips and that flexibility to bend around a tackle. The kid has speed too if I am being honest, although not enough to set him apart from a class that is absolutely filled to the brim with speed rushers. Also desperately needs to work on his endurance if he wants to make use of what speed he does have on the field. All that said those hips do not lie and if you can figure out how to help him tap into that talent he could be good for you.
Jason Kreuscher - Balanced
A good all around linebacker if you are looking for one in the later rounds of the draft. Strong enough to bring down most skill players and even tango with an offensive lineman or two. Fast enough to deal with most tight ends and power backs, and maybe even a speedy back or wide receiver. Tackling form is exactly what you want to see out of your linebacker corps. His solid swimmer build provides a good framework to build on if you can get him into the gym, and when it comes to that it is just up to Jason if he wants to take the next step or not.
Leeroy Jenkins - Coverage Linebacker
Leeroy Jenkins might be more of a coverage linebacker, but he is always the first player to charge in regardless of the situation. Combined with his terrific speed and he might just be the most probable linebacker in this class to get first touch on a tackle attempt. Oddly for one who rushes in as fast as he does Leeroy is rarely seen out of position and so could be a good choice if you are desperate for a Will like Derrick Brooks. Needs to be brought into the weight room early and often, but that requires getting the kid motivated first.
Brendan Lanier - Balanced
Coming from the University of West Florida you would expect a wild party animal and a similar style of play on the field, but you would be dead wrong. I don't recall this kid getting flagged once during his time in college, and I have heard rumors he has not been flagged since peewee football. Even heard one that his sole flag in peewee was from a referee that was tired of how this kid dominated. He has had a good tackling form and a motor his entire career, but needs to develop some better weapons to go with them. Whether it be the weight room or the treadmill get him on one and work him until his engine gives out. If you can convince him it is for the best you might just have a superb all around threat at linebacker.
Tom Thorne - Coverage Linebacker
The name Thorne always brings too many thoughts to mind as I have known a great deal of people with some variation of it. Thankfully my memory is good enough to differentiate them and although Tom is rather plain I can say he at least has the speed to play coverage in the DSFL. His work ethic is a question mark as I do not know how hard he has worked off the field, but on the field you can count on him from down to down. Just got to see if he shows up to the locker room or not.
Calvin McMann - Power Rusher
My initial tallies suggested the coverage linebacker would be the rarity, but it looks like I was wrong as Calvin is just the second power rush linebacker that I have graded thus far. I also have to say that I love his attitude from what I have seen even though his overall work ethic leaves a little something to be desired. If you can convince him to work with you I think he could be a fantastic contributor, and if not he could still be a decent rotational piece with his combination of strength and speed.
Fawn Dillmiballs - Coverage Linebacker
Now that is a name! You just want to shout it from the rooftops right? Anyway Fawn is a talented tackler coming out of the University of Michigan and is projected to go 69th overall for reasons that should be patently obvious. Needs to do a little more work in the weight room to really wow me, but his combination of agility and speed make up for it fairly well. Also has done enough cardio to keep up with the rest of the league.
Lloyd Collins - Speed Rusher
I was going to make a comment here about his name having four Ls in it, but I have to say Lloyd is an interesting prospect. He has shown enough work ethic that I think he could move up a tier with the right coaching staff, although right now his work is directionless enough that I worry if he will be able to keep it up. If you read this Lloyd I want you to know that I am rooting for you, and I want you to go by the nickname of quad L cause I think you can dish those Ls out to opposing teams. Just need to work a bit on strength and stamina, and maybe improve your speed to be more of a weapon.
Hiram Abiff - Balanced
He comes from that college in Massachusetts that you are not allowed to say because if you say it you sound overly pretentious even though everyone knows what you mean when you say it the other way. Whatever he at least has a neat name and is a tackling machine with balanced athleticism. Strength, speed, stamina, and agility in equal parts like a well made cake. Could be the steal of the draft, or he could retire tomorrow to make use of whatever he learned in college. Either way we wish him the best.
Spike Suzuki - Speed Rusher
Born in Tokyo, but played at San Jose State University so you know he has a firm grasp of the game. Of course if he read Eyeshield 21 like I did he might just have had a firm grasp of the game already. A super fast speedster, although unfortunately in a draft class that is just so full of speed rushers that it is hard to stand out. That said Spike is a super cool name and Suzuki is a unique surname that reminds me of Ichiro. So as far as I am concerned they get my stamp of approval and should go on to be a hall of fame candidate if they put in the work.
Question Marks
Ronnie "The Bone Crusher" Schultz - Power Rusher
You do not earn a nickname like that for nothing without being a professional wrestler. Which honestly this kid might be doing on the side given his combination of size and strength. It would also explain his tackling form and talent for avoiding unnecessary penalties. After all you need a huge amount of control over your strength to make it as a professional wrestler from what I know about it. While this kid has an A+ nickname and enough athleticism to make it; I don't see the effort needed to go the distance.
Caloe Peara - Speed Rusher
Caloe is a Michigan native who went on to play at Michigan State. He is a speed rusher in a class that is overloaded at the position, and unfortunately does not appear to have anything that really sets himself apart from this daunting draft class. I can say he does have the speed that you would expect from a pass rusher who relies on it and does have enough endurance to contribute for the majority of the game. Lack of effort to make himself stand out though leaves him as a last ditch option.
Buster Nelson - Balanced
Buster is an all around linebacker who was a reliable starter during his time at Ohio State. He has great speed for an all rounder that allows him to make plays with better range than most similar linebackers. Along with a very good understanding of the game that guarantees he will be in the right position on the field. Unfortunately he might just be too smart as it seems like he has grown bored with the sport. Unless he proves otherwise this is a prospect that I have to suggest you steer clear from.
Michael Smydzyck - Run Stopper
Do me a favor real fast. Look at the name that I just wrote of this prospect and then try to pronounce it. Do you think you got it right on the first try? I think this is a kid that was able to show a solid amount of strength and speed throughout college that would be worth playing if you could get him in the right locker room. Getting him to show up though is going to be the hard part, and I think you are just as likely to land him in your locker room as you were to pronounce his name correctly.
Raheem Bird - Balanced
A smart linebacker who knows how to get involved in plays all over the field. Fast enough to cover that distance too and even faster than some speed oriented linebackers. Also has fairly good hands for a linebacker and could rack up a few interceptions against the quarterbacks in the DSFL. Unfortunately like Buster Nelson he might just be too smart as it seems like he too has grown tired of the sport. If you can get him to show up and dedicate himself he could be a good prospect, but otherwise it is a buyer beware situation.
Samuel Miller - Speed Rusher
Plain old name for a plain old prospect unfortunately. I do not want to be rude to any of these prospects as they have all worked hard just to get here, however there is nothing I could write about this kid that would stand out relative to the pack. His name is Samuel Miller and he is from Boise State! How do you get more plain than that? The only thing you are going to get if you tap this kid is some white mana. If you could get him hooked up with some coaching before the draft maybe, but as of right now he has not shown the work needed to make it in this league.
Sawyer Brutalitops - Speed Rusher
Sawyer is okay, but anyone with the last name Brutalitops has the potential to be a superstar no matter what position they are applying to in my opinion. Can you tell me you would not trust a Doctor Brutalitops? President Brutalitops? Unfortunately for all of us here in the league this kid may have just had too much potential lurking inside of him to stick around and found his calling elsewhere. He's got the strength and the speed if he decides to commit to the league, but as of right now we have to let him spread his scales elsewhere.
Nat Wright - Coverage Linebacker
Nat Wright is one of the rare and coveted coverage linebackers in this draft. He has the speed to make plays all over the field, although his hands are not good enough to come away with many picks unfortunately. Especially when you take into consideration his smarts mean he would usually be in good position to get those picks otherwise. Solid at pass defense though when you take into account his combination of speed, smarts, and stamina. Unfortunately it seems like every super smart linebacker has considered walking away from the game and would have to be convinced to come back.
Leo Browning - Coverage Linebacker
Leo is a more all around style coverage linebacker if I am being an honest judge. He is strong, but not the strongest. Got the agility, but is far from the most dexterous in his class. Speed is exactly what you want out of a linebacker who you expect to make plays all over the field at the very least. It will even last most of the game thanks to his work on endurance. Unfortunately he does not seem to have put in any real work since his last game in college, and unless that changes he is just another case of what could have been.
Johnnie McCartney - Coverage Linebacker
Coming out of the University of Alberta the one thing you can guarantee is that this kid knows how to play in the snow. He also has that nice Canadian attitude that you love to have on a team as he can be a decent supporting piece to a more typical American athlete. You can only have so many diva players on a team after all. Not sure if he is homesick or what, but there are rumors circulating that he is planning on heading back home for good. If you can convince the kid to stay down here he could be a solid player, and if not Canada will get to keep a top talent.
Fatso Wombat - Run Stopper
I am looking at all of my files scouting out all of the competition at the draft and I am reminded of this kid. You look at that name and his style of play and I swear you have a great defensive tackle in the making. Still a solid linebacker though with speed and tackling that you need to have out of a guy who is out there to stop the run. Also has the greased up motor that will run all game long. Maybe he was mistaken as an actual wombat and got hit by a hunter though cause I have not seen him since initial interviews.
Raiden Briggs - Run Stopper
Raiden the thunder god from Mortal Kombat is a cool character and clearly this kid could be too. Especially when you consider Briggs the record setting FBI agent from Graceland and what that series could have been. This kid could be as much of a baller as both of them combined if he put in the effort, but unfortunately when you are born with a name like Raiden Briggs the shoes to fill can be too much for you. Best of luck to him wherever he is now. May he, Fatso Wombat, and Sawyer Brutalitops carry on in the aether and form a super group.
Eugene McEvan - Balanced
Eugene. Eugene from the University of Missouri. No superb talents to name, no funny name to make a comment about, and not even an interesting area of origin for me to tie some grand story to for this kid. You want to see a generic generalist linebacker then look no further than Eugene McEvan. If he comes hard for the draft and makes a push he could be something, but without it he is just another Eugene. By some miracle you read this Eugene, or anyone else for that matter: I bear no ill will, but I hope it lights the fire that causes you to set the league ablaze.
Daniel Ross - Speed Rusher
Going through my files I was almost worried I was going to run out of speed rushers early. Ross is a special talent in the sense that he is especially fast, but not much else to write about here. Just like Eugene he has got a basic boring name that I cannot make a funny comment about, and just like Eugene he is probably not going to show up to training camp. The sheer number of deserters I have gone through at this point is disheartening, but I will continue because I promised you I would and not at all because I am being bribed with absurd amounts of money by my sponsors.
Chudds Whittaker - Speed Rusher
One of his classmates tried to convince me that Chudds was related to Forest Whitaker, but even showing that Forest's wikipedia page suggests he only has one T did nothing to convince them. Maybe Chudds family added an extra T and is a branch of the same tree that Forest came from. Either way it does not matter a single ounce as I doubt that you have read this far, and if you have...seriously thank you. Get yourself a cookie you deserve it. Chudds is a more all around type linebacker with decent strength and agility, solid speed and tackling, but only okay stamina for the position. Also probably long gone unfortunately.
Jack Banks - Balanced
An all around type linebacker from Cal that could play Sam, Mike, Will, or ILB for a 3-4. Perfectly balanced strength, speed, and stamina just like you want your books to be. Possibly related to a really cool judge from Bel Air, but unfortunately for everyone involved none of my sources were able to confirm or deny. Actually now that I check none of my sources can confirm or deny Jack's existence. Jack Banks if you read this please let me know you exist, and whether are not you are of any relation to judge Philip Banks.
Summary
Whole lot of people to go through this time, but I am glad you stuck with me! Especially as I may have gone a bit mad in the middle there. Totals are three elite prospects, six solid starters, thirteen potential diamonds in the rough, and sixteen question marks. Jumping Jehoshaphat that is a lot of question marks. Still there are a few elites to go around and enough quality starters that each team could land one. I also do think there are at least a couple of diamonds in the rough that really will shine with proper handling in this particular class. Also a whole lot of speed rushers running around out there. Best of luck to the linebackers of S22 and may all of you outperform your draft position.
Word Count: 4378
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