Mr. Irrelevant in the most recent DSFL draft is anything but irrelevant, Tom Sofa has become a media buzz lately. In fact he has become a growing sensation within the NSFL world and his draft spot has even caused users such as @PaytonM34 make claims such as "[Tom Sofa] WENT LAST IN THE NSFL DRAFT? Y'all done f***ed up! That's all I'm gonna say." However, Sofa's life hasn't always been about football, as a small town boy growing up in eastern Kentucky he faced many challenges.
His father worked the coal mines as just about everyone in eastern Kentucky does. Even though many of these people are descendants of the not ever heard of coal wars they still have this odd loyalty and sense of pride in what many consider to be a dying business. Like many of the mines in the Hyden area, the coal just wasn't fetching the same price it used to and it caused many people to be laid off including the elder Sofa. The years spent in the mines did no good for his health, and while he was able to make a living working job to job as a contractor he was not able to provide for his family like he would have wanted. He would not survive to see his son's 16th birthday, nor his rise to DSFL fame.
Tom's mother was devastated, how was she as a teacher supposed to support a family on her one check? The severance pension from the coal company was not enough and eve though everyone knew Mr. Sofa died from the poor health conditions there she would never have enough money to fight them in court. She did what any mother would do in this situation, she pinched pennies, she saved, and she went nights hungry without dinner; she refused to allow borderline poverty to effect her son.
When Tom turned 17 he began to understand more about the world and the true situation he was in, no longer was he blissfully ignorant of the situation. He knew he had to get out but the thought of affording college was miles away. How could he come up with the money? How will he avoid falling in the same pitfalls so many in his community had? how will he avoid being forced a career at the "totally new no ties to the old coal company" coal company? All of these questions circled in his head nearly constantly before he realized his answer, sports. He had been on the high school basketball and football teams, but he never truly gave it his all. Now realizing that this is is only chance at a scholarship and education he would put more time into the gym and more time studying, memorizing and perfecting the playbooks. By the time he became a senior he was a budding star in both sports.
His senior season is when he really started to lift off. He set a number of records in football, becoming the greatest high school Quarterback the state of Kentucky had ever seen. Thanks to his coach, George Sizemore, he was able to unleash an entire new level of his game that not many people would have been able to see within him. He also would continue his stardom his senior year in basketball, averaging nearly 36 points per game. ESPN would rank him as the 6th greatest high school athlete of all time, he was given both the title of "Mr. Football" and "Mr. Basketball" of Kentucky and he received numerous Division 1 scholarships for both sports, but ultimately he would decide to play football for the University of Kentucky even though he knew that his chances of awards and championships would be greater at other schools. Like mentioned before, eastern Kentucky people are loyal to a fault sometimes, but this decision allowed him to still be close with his mother who he loved so dearly and who he knew made great sacrifices to get him where he was going.
Going to the University of Kentucky also made him an instant celebrity. Everyone on campus knew his name and occasionally he would receive free meals just for being who he was. Unfortunately for both him and his team, the coach would not recognize his celebrity or his talent playing a different quarterback ahead of him instead. Because of this decision he would be fired at the conclusion of the season, and another coach who would play Tom was hired instead. This coach, Chad Mummy, would earn fame as a guy who ran an Air Raid offense, really allowing Sofa to shine. In fact he was so determined on offense, Mummy would frequently go for it on 4th down, electing to hardly ever punt. The scheme worked well for Sofa and the University of Kentucky as in his sophomore season the team improved 4 more wins on the previous season and Sofa would set several school passing records, and finished in the nation as one of the top passers in the league.
His Junior season, which would be his last, saw Tom improve even more. He would throw and incredible 76.2% completion rate and over 4200 yards to end the season. Throughout the season he would give glimpses of greatness as he crushed previous conference records. He would improve the team's record to 8-3 and earn them their first bowl appearance in nearly a decade as the University of Kentucky would play Penn State in the Outback bowl. Unfortunately his college career would end on a loss as after that game he announce his intention to enter the NSFL and DSFL draft. He would finish 2nd in Heisman voting and as an All-American.
That brings us to today, where this storied hero was taken last in the DSFL draft, and we have an exclusive interview with him as he answers some of our questions.
Interviewer: So let's get the hardest question out of the way first, what are your thoughts about being drafted last after such a storied career?
Tom Sofa: I'm not too worried about it. I realized that I declared late for the draft and that there were many QBs already in this class. Once the top QBs were selected for the expansion teams I knew it was going a long night for me. I didn't expect to be the very last pick. At this point I am embracing it and I hope to make every team regret not at the very least a 15th round pick on me.
I: That's very interesting, do you have any idea as to why you were selected last?
TS: I would have to guess that the amount of QBs in the draft combined with factors such as a snap requirement may have came into play. Maybe teams were afraid that with my talent I would leave after only a few seasons to go to the NSFL. Maybe they simply didn't want a small town Kentucky boy in their "big city locker rooms." All I know is that when it came to scouting me I only had one team contact me and that team had no interest in me as a quarterback so I had no interest in that team.
I: How will you respond to that request -- changing your position -- this time next season when NSFL teams come knocking on your door.
TS: I expect some teams to approach me in the same way, but I expect to give them the same answer. I will be a QB in the NSFL no matter how long I have to wait in the DSFL. I'm even willing to deal with a team that will give me the freedom of getting paid DSFL min for my DSFL max time, but I will only play QB.
I: So even if a team came at you, throwing tons of money at you to switch to something like LB, you would tell them no?
TS: Absolutely. Like I said, I was a QB yesterday, I am a QB today and I will be a QB tomorrow. No amount of money will change this.
I: Wow, that's a lot of determination. With that determination, who do you think was the greatest impact on your sports life?
TS: I think the all time greats, especially Frank Armstrong, inspired me to be who I am on the field. As for off the field I feel like I have a few different role models. Of course my father, he was a great man who did everything he could to provide for my family. His hard work is what killed him. My mother of course because even throughout the dark times she made ends meet, she made sacrifices to bring me where I am today and I owe the world to her. My high school coach as well as he was the one who truly made me the athlete I am today. The inspiration and faith he put into me is what made me into the player I am today and I will be eternally grateful for that.
I: Let's get back to the now, the DSFL. Do you feel any ill will against Myrtle Beach? Sure they picked you, but they had no other option that to pick you.
TS: I hold no ill will. Sure, they could have picked me earlier in the draft, but I think what they did was smart. They came with a plan in place to bolster the defense and that's exactly what they did. Then, instead of drafting 2 or 3 QBs in the draft, they only elected to have me. With that, it means they are not forced to play weaker players at the position. They won't even be forced to play more than 2 QBs as there is only one other on the roster! If they had taken me earlier in the draft they would have been forced to draft another QB and give them snaps as well. What they did was a true 200 IQ maneuver, and the other teams who selected QBs before me in the last round will come to regret it. Besides upon entering the LR they knew they had the greatest steal of all time on their hands.
I: Do you think you'll go last in the NSFL draft?
TS: No. I believe the GMs in the NSFL draft are a bit smarter and will do their research about who is the best QB. I think they will even notice interviews like this and my performance on the field this season and it will elevate my draft stock to the top 100 players. I don't guarantee anything higher than that, but I can assure any NSFL GM out there I am worth that 99th pick priority. If they don't believe me now they'll see it on the field.
I: What are your expectations for the Buccaneers this season?
TS: Every team says that they want to win the ultimini, that they will win the ultimini. Only a few teams actually believe it when they say it. When Myrtle Beach says they will win the ultimini they mean it, this season will be exciting and fun and Myrtle beach will make it if not win the whole thing. The icing on top will be when the other team realizes they picked nearly 30 other guys instead of me.
I: Okay, enough about the serious things, let's start to talk about the man outside of the game. If you had a dream destination where would it be?
TS: If I could go anywhere in the world it would be Greece. There is so much rich ancient history there and I would like to see all of the ruins of the Greek empire. I also like Greek food a lot. I see no downsides to going to Greece, I think it would be really fun.
I: That does sound fun! If you could meet any one celebrity right now who would it be?
TS: Do they have to be alive? If they have to be alive I would probably have to choose someone like Chris Pratt or Tom Holland. I thought they both did great in Avengers 8 Age of Ultra-Rage as Starlord and Spiderman respectively. In fact, Spiderman 4: State Playoffs has to be my favorite movie to date. I think it's incredible what the marvel universe has done since 2008.
I: Speaking of Hollywood, do you think you would ever try to audition for a spot in any movie or TV show?
TS: We may be getting ahead of ourselves a bit here. I do have to pit all of my focus on the DSFL now, but I don't see myself in font of the camera any time soon except for maybe the casual endorsement of a product for millions. In fact I don't know if I'm allowed to announce this, but I have a partnership with Lazee bois to sell Sofas. It may be a small and simple gig that plays on my name but at this point any money would do. You may even say I am here taking this interview now in order to make even more money, and that my backstory is all forged in order to grip a viewer and make more profits, but I assure you that is not the case. Everything said here today is 100% genuine and factual. No amount of words can describe what I've been through and I really think it was important I shared my story today not only to educate the broader crowd, but to also make 7 GMs feel incredibly stupid by passing me down to the last man standing.
I: We may be getting a little off track here Tom
TS: Sorry about that, I don't really know what came over me there. As I was saying I don't plan on becoming and actor or director, but I do see myself as perhaps a Producer in a film on sports, perhaps even one of my early childhood. Everyone loves a success story and after I retire from the NSFL there will be no better success story.
I: We may be starting to run short on time here, is there anything else you would like the world to know before you embark on your rookie DSFL season?
TS: Yes, first I would like all of the little boys out there know this. If you are tall enough, handsome enough and fortunate enough you too can become a world class athlete. If you might be small, lazy, ugly or weak then you might one day become the guy who records my stats. Both jobs are equally as important as without you, no one would know how great I am in the future. Without me you would have no one good to write about. I would also like to thank my mother for bringing me where I am today, and for all single moms out there I have a message for you: don't give up. Keep your children your number one priority and one day they will take care of you as I am taking care of mine.
I: Thank you for your time Tom, I wish you luck in the season to come! Go Bucs!
TS: Thanks Melissa, by the way are you free later tonight?
His father worked the coal mines as just about everyone in eastern Kentucky does. Even though many of these people are descendants of the not ever heard of coal wars they still have this odd loyalty and sense of pride in what many consider to be a dying business. Like many of the mines in the Hyden area, the coal just wasn't fetching the same price it used to and it caused many people to be laid off including the elder Sofa. The years spent in the mines did no good for his health, and while he was able to make a living working job to job as a contractor he was not able to provide for his family like he would have wanted. He would not survive to see his son's 16th birthday, nor his rise to DSFL fame.
Tom's mother was devastated, how was she as a teacher supposed to support a family on her one check? The severance pension from the coal company was not enough and eve though everyone knew Mr. Sofa died from the poor health conditions there she would never have enough money to fight them in court. She did what any mother would do in this situation, she pinched pennies, she saved, and she went nights hungry without dinner; she refused to allow borderline poverty to effect her son.
When Tom turned 17 he began to understand more about the world and the true situation he was in, no longer was he blissfully ignorant of the situation. He knew he had to get out but the thought of affording college was miles away. How could he come up with the money? How will he avoid falling in the same pitfalls so many in his community had? how will he avoid being forced a career at the "totally new no ties to the old coal company" coal company? All of these questions circled in his head nearly constantly before he realized his answer, sports. He had been on the high school basketball and football teams, but he never truly gave it his all. Now realizing that this is is only chance at a scholarship and education he would put more time into the gym and more time studying, memorizing and perfecting the playbooks. By the time he became a senior he was a budding star in both sports.
His senior season is when he really started to lift off. He set a number of records in football, becoming the greatest high school Quarterback the state of Kentucky had ever seen. Thanks to his coach, George Sizemore, he was able to unleash an entire new level of his game that not many people would have been able to see within him. He also would continue his stardom his senior year in basketball, averaging nearly 36 points per game. ESPN would rank him as the 6th greatest high school athlete of all time, he was given both the title of "Mr. Football" and "Mr. Basketball" of Kentucky and he received numerous Division 1 scholarships for both sports, but ultimately he would decide to play football for the University of Kentucky even though he knew that his chances of awards and championships would be greater at other schools. Like mentioned before, eastern Kentucky people are loyal to a fault sometimes, but this decision allowed him to still be close with his mother who he loved so dearly and who he knew made great sacrifices to get him where he was going.
Going to the University of Kentucky also made him an instant celebrity. Everyone on campus knew his name and occasionally he would receive free meals just for being who he was. Unfortunately for both him and his team, the coach would not recognize his celebrity or his talent playing a different quarterback ahead of him instead. Because of this decision he would be fired at the conclusion of the season, and another coach who would play Tom was hired instead. This coach, Chad Mummy, would earn fame as a guy who ran an Air Raid offense, really allowing Sofa to shine. In fact he was so determined on offense, Mummy would frequently go for it on 4th down, electing to hardly ever punt. The scheme worked well for Sofa and the University of Kentucky as in his sophomore season the team improved 4 more wins on the previous season and Sofa would set several school passing records, and finished in the nation as one of the top passers in the league.
His Junior season, which would be his last, saw Tom improve even more. He would throw and incredible 76.2% completion rate and over 4200 yards to end the season. Throughout the season he would give glimpses of greatness as he crushed previous conference records. He would improve the team's record to 8-3 and earn them their first bowl appearance in nearly a decade as the University of Kentucky would play Penn State in the Outback bowl. Unfortunately his college career would end on a loss as after that game he announce his intention to enter the NSFL and DSFL draft. He would finish 2nd in Heisman voting and as an All-American.
That brings us to today, where this storied hero was taken last in the DSFL draft, and we have an exclusive interview with him as he answers some of our questions.
Interviewer: So let's get the hardest question out of the way first, what are your thoughts about being drafted last after such a storied career?
Tom Sofa: I'm not too worried about it. I realized that I declared late for the draft and that there were many QBs already in this class. Once the top QBs were selected for the expansion teams I knew it was going a long night for me. I didn't expect to be the very last pick. At this point I am embracing it and I hope to make every team regret not at the very least a 15th round pick on me.
I: That's very interesting, do you have any idea as to why you were selected last?
TS: I would have to guess that the amount of QBs in the draft combined with factors such as a snap requirement may have came into play. Maybe teams were afraid that with my talent I would leave after only a few seasons to go to the NSFL. Maybe they simply didn't want a small town Kentucky boy in their "big city locker rooms." All I know is that when it came to scouting me I only had one team contact me and that team had no interest in me as a quarterback so I had no interest in that team.
I: How will you respond to that request -- changing your position -- this time next season when NSFL teams come knocking on your door.
TS: I expect some teams to approach me in the same way, but I expect to give them the same answer. I will be a QB in the NSFL no matter how long I have to wait in the DSFL. I'm even willing to deal with a team that will give me the freedom of getting paid DSFL min for my DSFL max time, but I will only play QB.
I: So even if a team came at you, throwing tons of money at you to switch to something like LB, you would tell them no?
TS: Absolutely. Like I said, I was a QB yesterday, I am a QB today and I will be a QB tomorrow. No amount of money will change this.
I: Wow, that's a lot of determination. With that determination, who do you think was the greatest impact on your sports life?
TS: I think the all time greats, especially Frank Armstrong, inspired me to be who I am on the field. As for off the field I feel like I have a few different role models. Of course my father, he was a great man who did everything he could to provide for my family. His hard work is what killed him. My mother of course because even throughout the dark times she made ends meet, she made sacrifices to bring me where I am today and I owe the world to her. My high school coach as well as he was the one who truly made me the athlete I am today. The inspiration and faith he put into me is what made me into the player I am today and I will be eternally grateful for that.
I: Let's get back to the now, the DSFL. Do you feel any ill will against Myrtle Beach? Sure they picked you, but they had no other option that to pick you.
TS: I hold no ill will. Sure, they could have picked me earlier in the draft, but I think what they did was smart. They came with a plan in place to bolster the defense and that's exactly what they did. Then, instead of drafting 2 or 3 QBs in the draft, they only elected to have me. With that, it means they are not forced to play weaker players at the position. They won't even be forced to play more than 2 QBs as there is only one other on the roster! If they had taken me earlier in the draft they would have been forced to draft another QB and give them snaps as well. What they did was a true 200 IQ maneuver, and the other teams who selected QBs before me in the last round will come to regret it. Besides upon entering the LR they knew they had the greatest steal of all time on their hands.
I: Do you think you'll go last in the NSFL draft?
TS: No. I believe the GMs in the NSFL draft are a bit smarter and will do their research about who is the best QB. I think they will even notice interviews like this and my performance on the field this season and it will elevate my draft stock to the top 100 players. I don't guarantee anything higher than that, but I can assure any NSFL GM out there I am worth that 99th pick priority. If they don't believe me now they'll see it on the field.
I: What are your expectations for the Buccaneers this season?
TS: Every team says that they want to win the ultimini, that they will win the ultimini. Only a few teams actually believe it when they say it. When Myrtle Beach says they will win the ultimini they mean it, this season will be exciting and fun and Myrtle beach will make it if not win the whole thing. The icing on top will be when the other team realizes they picked nearly 30 other guys instead of me.
I: Okay, enough about the serious things, let's start to talk about the man outside of the game. If you had a dream destination where would it be?
TS: If I could go anywhere in the world it would be Greece. There is so much rich ancient history there and I would like to see all of the ruins of the Greek empire. I also like Greek food a lot. I see no downsides to going to Greece, I think it would be really fun.
I: That does sound fun! If you could meet any one celebrity right now who would it be?
TS: Do they have to be alive? If they have to be alive I would probably have to choose someone like Chris Pratt or Tom Holland. I thought they both did great in Avengers 8 Age of Ultra-Rage as Starlord and Spiderman respectively. In fact, Spiderman 4: State Playoffs has to be my favorite movie to date. I think it's incredible what the marvel universe has done since 2008.
I: Speaking of Hollywood, do you think you would ever try to audition for a spot in any movie or TV show?
TS: We may be getting ahead of ourselves a bit here. I do have to pit all of my focus on the DSFL now, but I don't see myself in font of the camera any time soon except for maybe the casual endorsement of a product for millions. In fact I don't know if I'm allowed to announce this, but I have a partnership with Lazee bois to sell Sofas. It may be a small and simple gig that plays on my name but at this point any money would do. You may even say I am here taking this interview now in order to make even more money, and that my backstory is all forged in order to grip a viewer and make more profits, but I assure you that is not the case. Everything said here today is 100% genuine and factual. No amount of words can describe what I've been through and I really think it was important I shared my story today not only to educate the broader crowd, but to also make 7 GMs feel incredibly stupid by passing me down to the last man standing.
I: We may be getting a little off track here Tom
TS: Sorry about that, I don't really know what came over me there. As I was saying I don't plan on becoming and actor or director, but I do see myself as perhaps a Producer in a film on sports, perhaps even one of my early childhood. Everyone loves a success story and after I retire from the NSFL there will be no better success story.
I: We may be starting to run short on time here, is there anything else you would like the world to know before you embark on your rookie DSFL season?
TS: Yes, first I would like all of the little boys out there know this. If you are tall enough, handsome enough and fortunate enough you too can become a world class athlete. If you might be small, lazy, ugly or weak then you might one day become the guy who records my stats. Both jobs are equally as important as without you, no one would know how great I am in the future. Without me you would have no one good to write about. I would also like to thank my mother for bringing me where I am today, and for all single moms out there I have a message for you: don't give up. Keep your children your number one priority and one day they will take care of you as I am taking care of mine.
I: Thank you for your time Tom, I wish you luck in the season to come! Go Bucs!
TS: Thanks Melissa, by the way are you free later tonight?
Unconfident, Aug 8 2022, 04:16 AM Wrote:You’re going to be IA this time week lil bro
![[Image: ezgif.com-gif-maker_1.gif]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/552873396451672073/759699544048009216/ezgif.com-gif-maker_1.gif)
![[Image: CCYGVRA.png]](https://i.imgur.com/CCYGVRA.png)
![[Image: clemente.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/clemente.gif)
![[Image: tinytimsbutthole.gif]](https://sig.grumpybumpers.com/host/tinytimsbutthole.gif)
![[Image: Screen_Shot_2022-02-09_at_12.15.25_PM.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/617753862723469541/940793707450482708/Screen_Shot_2022-02-09_at_12.15.25_PM.png)
