03-09-2020, 12:43 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-09-2020, 01:17 PM by Memento Mori.)
Memento Mori Wrote:Warning: plenty of sarcasm and dry humour
Plan this to be a set of (hopefully) comedic interviews. This serves as the intro piece to set up the concept. If you’d like to be interviewed or do a collab, then reply/DM me here or on discord. For graders: main body is 515 words
Bobby Montgomery’s day began like any other. First, he sheepishly rose from his bed in his cramped London apartment as buses full of sullen commuters ferried past his window. He then reluctantly strolled to the kitchen and made breakfast. Tea and crumpets of course, as that was the law in England.
After he’d eaten, Bobby descended the stairs and began his journey to work. It was a typically grey British morning that gave no indication that Bobby’s life was about to change forever. As he entered the ground floor of the office he noticed one of his work colleagues practicing his queueing skills - one of the many popular British pastimes. Bobby doffed his flat cap and gave the man the customary English greeting, “‘ello guv’nor”.
Bobby Montgomery had spent twelve years covering the English Premier League for The Daily Scone, a well-read British newspaper. When he reached the floor occupied by the newspaper, the butler was waiting for him. “Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton is expecting you in his office, sir”, the butler politely informed him. The reporter wracked his brain, wondering what he had done that had gotten him in trouble. He thought back to the office party celebrating the Queen’s birthday the previous week, and hoped he hadn’t said or done something embarrassing after a few too many glasses of port. Nervously, he entered the room.
“Bobby, old boy!” Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton exclaimed. “I’ve some absolutely spiffing news” he continued. “You’re going to America!”. Bobby felt a rush of adrenaline, overcome with both relief and excitement. He didn’t know what to say, but Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton’s booming voice saved the pair of them from an awkward silence. “You see, old chap, my contacts across the pond have asked that we cover the National Simulation Football League for the paper. As my best reporter, I’m sending you. Things might be a little different than what you’re used to, but you’re the only man I’d have do this job”.
“I’m speechless,” Bobby said, despite the fact that saying the words “I’m speechless” was an oxymoron. “When do I go?” Bobby asked, clearly not speechless.
“Tomorrow!” Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton bellowed. “You’re on the 10am flight. Anything you need, let Giles know and he’ll have it ready for you by the morning.” “Giles?” Bobby asked, confused. “The butler!” Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton barked. Bobby didn’t know butlers had names.
Bobby arrived in the US the following afternoon and was greeted by one of Mr Chesterfield-Pemberton’s business associates. The man was dressed in a suit and tie, but was holding a strange leather object in his hands. “What is that?” Bobby asked. The American chuckled, before realising Bobby was serious and shaking his head. “It’s a football…” he explained wearily.
It was at this moment that Bobby realised the kind of football played in the National Simulation Football League was very different to the kind of football he was used to reporting on. Join Bobby as he tries to understand this unfamiliar game, interview players from the league, and find out where in this strange new country he can get a decent cup of tea.
[OPTION]S24 (PHI): 16 GP, 73 tackles, 1 TFL, 2 FF, 3 sacks, 5 INTs, 10 PDs, 2 TDs
[OPTION]S25 (PHI): 16 GP, 67 tackles, 4 INTs, 13 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 16 GP, 68 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 10 PDs
[OPTION]S27 (OCO): 16 GP, 116 tackles, 4 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S28 (OCO): 16 GP, 84 tackles, 1 FF, 1 FR, 3 INTs, 20 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S29 (OCO): 16 GP, 99 tackles, 3 FF, 1 FR, 5 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]ISFL Playoff Stats:
[OPTION]S23 (PHI): 1 GP, 2 tackles
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 1 GP, 5 tackles, 2 PDs
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]Trophies and Achievements:
[OPTION]Drafted 35th Overall by Myrtle Beach in the S21 DSFL Draft
[OPTION]S21 Ultimini Champion
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Defensive Back of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]Drafted 4th Overall by Philadelphia in the S22 ISFL Draft
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Defensive Performance of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S25 (PHI): 16 GP, 67 tackles, 4 INTs, 13 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 16 GP, 68 tackles, 1 TFL, 1 sack, 2 INTs, 10 PDs
[OPTION]S27 (OCO): 16 GP, 116 tackles, 4 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S28 (OCO): 16 GP, 84 tackles, 1 FF, 1 FR, 3 INTs, 20 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]S29 (OCO): 16 GP, 99 tackles, 3 FF, 1 FR, 5 INTs, 23 PDs, 1 TD
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]ISFL Playoff Stats:
[OPTION]S23 (PHI): 1 GP, 2 tackles
[OPTION]S26 (OCO): 1 GP, 5 tackles, 2 PDs
[OPTION]=============================================================
[OPTION]Trophies and Achievements:
[OPTION]Drafted 35th Overall by Myrtle Beach in the S21 DSFL Draft
[OPTION]S21 Ultimini Champion
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S21 DSFL Defensive Back of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]Drafted 4th Overall by Philadelphia in the S22 ISFL Draft
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S23 ISFL Defensive Performance of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S24 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Returner of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]=============================================================
Player | Update | Wiki | Twitter
[OPTION]S26 ISFL Returner of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Pro Bowl Selection
[OPTION]S29 ISFL Cornerback of the Year Nominee
[OPTION]=============================================================
Player | Update | Wiki | Twitter