Big Trouble in Little Colorado?
New information is coming out of valued sources in Colorado. Sources confirm that John “Tripod” Smirh is very unhappy with his current situation in Colorado. It has been said that he is one of the few members of the Yeti whom is very disappointed thus far in the season, and was expecting to be a key piece to the defense, and instead, is just some poor player. John was a key component, when he was about 70 pounds lighter as a kicker for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, he helped propel that team to quite a few victories and a Ultimini run which ultimately ended in defeat. John really thought he would have a greater impact thus far in the season but has been very disappointed in himself. Rumors have started to swirl that John has taken a leave of absence from the Colorado Yeti and continues to perfect his game on his own. He was not available for comment from multiple reporters.
There have been photos of John throughout Colorado, while the rest of the team has been at practices, you can catch John not there. He has also frequented the night life in Colorado, specifically Diamond Cabaret and BareAssets Denver Party Strippers. Reporters have attempted to get word from John many late nights as he has been seen leaving said places at closing hour, and he has continued to refuse to comment. Rumors continue to leak from close sources that he is not happy in Colorado and will soon be seeking a trade from the Yeti. These are some of the reasons he has not been spotted with the team. Close Personal Sources continue to leak this information stating that it is what John wants, and it is in the best interest of John to do so.
One of the Colorado General Managers, who won’t be named for this interview had this to say “We aren’t interested on commenting on this situation at this time. We committed ourselves to John and were committee to making sure that this franchise gets its money’s worth from him.”
Tom Ozzborne stated that “Whatever John does in his free time and the off season, that’s on him, but during the season we want him to focus on his sack (Tom Ozzborne takes a long pause) ing of the Quarterback.”
So even though the General Managers are not wanting to comment on what is going on with John Smirh, we will continue to monitor the situation to see what will go on with the Trade Deadline fast approaching. Can we potentially see John Smirh in another uniform by the end of the season? Will John be able to find a more relaxed area, maybe better strip clubs? Or will John stay in Colorado for the remainder of his contract. We will continue to monitor the situation and keep you up to date with the latest news. Rumor have it that Chicago has some great strip clubs, and that could be a place on John’s list.
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New information is coming out of valued sources in Colorado. Sources confirm that John “Tripod” Smirh is very unhappy with his current situation in Colorado. It has been said that he is one of the few members of the Yeti whom is very disappointed thus far in the season, and was expecting to be a key piece to the defense, and instead, is just some poor player. John was a key component, when he was about 70 pounds lighter as a kicker for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, he helped propel that team to quite a few victories and a Ultimini run which ultimately ended in defeat. John really thought he would have a greater impact thus far in the season but has been very disappointed in himself. Rumors have started to swirl that John has taken a leave of absence from the Colorado Yeti and continues to perfect his game on his own. He was not available for comment from multiple reporters.
There have been photos of John throughout Colorado, while the rest of the team has been at practices, you can catch John not there. He has also frequented the night life in Colorado, specifically Diamond Cabaret and BareAssets Denver Party Strippers. Reporters have attempted to get word from John many late nights as he has been seen leaving said places at closing hour, and he has continued to refuse to comment. Rumors continue to leak from close sources that he is not happy in Colorado and will soon be seeking a trade from the Yeti. These are some of the reasons he has not been spotted with the team. Close Personal Sources continue to leak this information stating that it is what John wants, and it is in the best interest of John to do so.
One of the Colorado General Managers, who won’t be named for this interview had this to say “We aren’t interested on commenting on this situation at this time. We committed ourselves to John and were committee to making sure that this franchise gets its money’s worth from him.”
Tom Ozzborne stated that “Whatever John does in his free time and the off season, that’s on him, but during the season we want him to focus on his sack (Tom Ozzborne takes a long pause) ing of the Quarterback.”
So even though the General Managers are not wanting to comment on what is going on with John Smirh, we will continue to monitor the situation to see what will go on with the Trade Deadline fast approaching. Can we potentially see John Smirh in another uniform by the end of the season? Will John be able to find a more relaxed area, maybe better strip clubs? Or will John stay in Colorado for the remainder of his contract. We will continue to monitor the situation and keep you up to date with the latest news. Rumor have it that Chicago has some great strip clubs, and that could be a place on John’s list.
(506 words)
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