Hello dear reader, welcome to a very special first look at what the NSFL will look like around this time next year. (I’m not the best at math, it’s probably gonna be closer to S29 but this is my show.) So let’s take a look around the league, there’s some pretty big changes. Let’s start by taking a look around the league.
Teams
NSFC:
Baltimore Hawks
Brooklyn Knights
Chicago Stars
Colorado Yeti
Toronto Titans
Philadelphia Liberty
Sarasota Sailfish
Yellowknife Wraiths
ASFC
Arizona Outlaws
Austin Copperheads
Honolulu Hahalua
New Orleans Second Line
Orange County Otters
Vancouver Grizzlies
San Jose Sabercats
Las Vegas Silverbacks
DSFL
Dallas Birddogs
Kansas City Coyotes
London Royals
Minnesota Greyducks
Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Norfolk Seawolves
Seattle Magic
Shanghai Phoenix
Portland Pythons
Tijuana Luchadores
Yes, to the surprise of no one, there’s been some expansion. Not one, not two, but 6 brand new teams. Some you may have expected, some you didn’t. Before we get into that, let’s begin by taking a look at some rebrands. For starters, even though I can’t show it, the Copperheads and Hawks have updated their logos. Austin in S24 and Baltimore in S27. Now the big one, the Chicago Butchers are no more. Now the Chicago stars, they’ve come into some success as of late but we’ll get into that later. The Rebrand came about in S23, as the new GM’s wanted to have a renascence for the team. The name change wasn’t without controversy however, many in the league thought the name was dull or uninspired. After a few seasons the collective opinion changed, and the name grew on people.
The Austin Copperheads, Baltimore Hawks, and San Jose Sabercats all got updated logos. Though I can’t share the updated logos with you now, I will do my best at descriptions. The banana bird has been laid to rest, in its place lies something new. The hawk itself has a much more aggressive look to it. Holding a football in its talons and diving towards the viewer. The yellow is less vibrant, and the logo uses black as it’s primary.
The Sabercats logo now focuses more heavily on the Sabercat itself. The giant green smudge has been reduced significantly, and the green is a lighter shade. The cat part of the logo is now at a slightly different angle, making it look more natural.
The copperheads have the least dramatic logo update of them all, having only updated their color pallet without much else. The rust belt orange you’re all familiar with has been replaced with a color more closely resembling mahogany. The snakes fangs now actually look like fangs and the eyes have been changed to green. The most noticeable change from a distance, the overall outline of the logo has been improved drastically making it much easier to read.
Now, we can finally talk about the expansion franchises. Yes, of course we’re going to start with the DSFL. We’ll start with the most interesting destination, the Shanghai Phoenix. I apologise in advance for not remembering who it was that jokingly wanted a Shanghai expansion back in S21, but the idea has stuck with me. I personally don’t think Shanghai would ever be in the NSFL, but I think it’s perfect for a DSFL team. Shanghai is also somewhat responsible for the new Baltimore logo.
Up next, the Seattle Magic. Let’s talk about the name for a minute. Of all the names for a franchise based in Seattle, why magic? Well, the pacific northwest is notorious for its involvement with the paranormal. While it’s true that neighboring Portland has had far more famous cases, Washington is not without its fair share of occult happenings. Besides, there’s enough animal teams, who wants the Seattle Sasquatch anyway.
Now, the big guns, let’s take a look at our four new members of the NSFL. First on the list is one that is somewhat familiar, the Vancouver Grizzlies. Now, I know Adam was going to call his team the Moose, but as a rule, this is my show. The Grizzlies are led by AdamS and iStegosauruz. Joining the NSFL in S24, they had a surprisingly quick growth period and managed to make the playoffs as the 3 seed in S27 with a 9-5 record. (probably should’ve mentioned the league expanded to 14 games.) However, they were unable to escape the 12-2 San Jose sabercats. In S29 Vancouver again made it to the playoffs at 10-4 making it all the way to the Ultimus, eventually losing to reigning champion Sarasota, but we’ll get to that.
Vancouver’s counterpart in the ASFC, the Las Vegas Silverbacks is managed by Net and Speculadora. There was some controversy early into the Silverbacks run. It was alleged that someone had convinced the Austin Copperheads to not protect a promising young runningback. The aforementioned player was only in their second year in the NSFL, yet was nearing 600+ TPE. Allegations ran rampant that this player had orchestrated the entire thing himself, messaging the, at the time, Co-GM of the Silverbacks of his intentions. HO quickly caught wind of this, immediately removing the Co-GM and electing speculadora as the interim Co-GM. Having only arrived in the NSFL in S28, the aftermath is still felt throughout the league. Said running back soon retired all together, and has not been heard from since. We’re still waiting to see some success out of Las Vegas, things are looking good having just gone 8-6 in S30
In the NSFC, I was finally given my Brooklyn franchise. I’d love to tell you who the Co-GM is, for now however that must remain a secret. What is no secret, is the Knights slow progression. After missing out on a quarterback in the expansion draft, Brooklyn’s offense was going to struggle from the get go. Having gone 5-9 in their inaugural season, and 5-9 again the following year, there were questions being raised about the direction the team was heading. However in S27 the Brooklyn Knights saw significant improvement from both their quarterback and offensive line. Allowing them to reach their first winning season at 8-6. However, the Knights have yet to really have a monumental season, the best record since the team's inception being 10-4, and missing the playoffs on a tiebreaker with the Baltimore Hawks by only 2 points. Brooklyn’s most infamous moment however, has been dubbed “the Uno incident.” The details of which have never fully been explained. However, from what has been gathered, allegedly a player was traded from Brooklyn to Philadelphia for pennies on the dollar because of an altercation with management during a game of Uno. After spending only two weeks in Philly, the player was then cut all together and vanished shortly after.
The Toronto Titans on the other hand, found almost immediate success. GM’s Jpach and Exilizer managed to take the team to the playoffs in their first season with a 9-5 record. Many thought the only notable thing to come from Toronto in their first year would be their silver and orange color scheme. Despite this, they managed to maintain that moment for the next two seasons, so far the Titans have yet to end the season on a losing record. There is not a whole lot else to say about Toronto, for the most part, aside from their seasonal success, they’ve not had any issues.
Here we can see the last 8 Ultimus Championships
S22: Yellowknife 27 vs Orange County 35
S23 Colorado 44 vs San Jose 16
S24 Colorado 31 vs Orange County 24
S25 Philadelphia 17 vs Honolulu 14
S26 Chicago 30 vs San Jose 21
S27 Baltimore 10 vs San Jose 35
S28 Sarasota 27 vs New Orleans 21
S29 Sarasota 23 vs Vancouver 15
S30 Baltimore 3 vs Arizona 32
With all of that, finally, we’re going to look at a few new members of the NSFL hall of fame.
Kazimir Oles
Kyle Idlewyld
Cooter Bigsby
Dermot Lavelle Jr
Earl Maddox
Sam Torenson
Corvo Harvan
Johnny Blaze
Forrest Gump
Danny Grithead
There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the NSFL in S30. I can guarantee with 100% certainty that at least 36.562% of the information I’ve provided in this article will come to pass. Let me tell you right now, I am truly dreading the Uno incident, that will certainly not be a fun time. Until then dear reader, be on the lookout for the return of Thiath’s 100% accurate mock drafts.
Teams
NSFC:
Baltimore Hawks
Brooklyn Knights
Chicago Stars
Colorado Yeti
Toronto Titans
Philadelphia Liberty
Sarasota Sailfish
Yellowknife Wraiths
ASFC
Arizona Outlaws
Austin Copperheads
Honolulu Hahalua
New Orleans Second Line
Orange County Otters
Vancouver Grizzlies
San Jose Sabercats
Las Vegas Silverbacks
DSFL
Dallas Birddogs
Kansas City Coyotes
London Royals
Minnesota Greyducks
Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
Norfolk Seawolves
Seattle Magic
Shanghai Phoenix
Portland Pythons
Tijuana Luchadores
Yes, to the surprise of no one, there’s been some expansion. Not one, not two, but 6 brand new teams. Some you may have expected, some you didn’t. Before we get into that, let’s begin by taking a look at some rebrands. For starters, even though I can’t show it, the Copperheads and Hawks have updated their logos. Austin in S24 and Baltimore in S27. Now the big one, the Chicago Butchers are no more. Now the Chicago stars, they’ve come into some success as of late but we’ll get into that later. The Rebrand came about in S23, as the new GM’s wanted to have a renascence for the team. The name change wasn’t without controversy however, many in the league thought the name was dull or uninspired. After a few seasons the collective opinion changed, and the name grew on people.
The Austin Copperheads, Baltimore Hawks, and San Jose Sabercats all got updated logos. Though I can’t share the updated logos with you now, I will do my best at descriptions. The banana bird has been laid to rest, in its place lies something new. The hawk itself has a much more aggressive look to it. Holding a football in its talons and diving towards the viewer. The yellow is less vibrant, and the logo uses black as it’s primary.
The Sabercats logo now focuses more heavily on the Sabercat itself. The giant green smudge has been reduced significantly, and the green is a lighter shade. The cat part of the logo is now at a slightly different angle, making it look more natural.
The copperheads have the least dramatic logo update of them all, having only updated their color pallet without much else. The rust belt orange you’re all familiar with has been replaced with a color more closely resembling mahogany. The snakes fangs now actually look like fangs and the eyes have been changed to green. The most noticeable change from a distance, the overall outline of the logo has been improved drastically making it much easier to read.
Now, we can finally talk about the expansion franchises. Yes, of course we’re going to start with the DSFL. We’ll start with the most interesting destination, the Shanghai Phoenix. I apologise in advance for not remembering who it was that jokingly wanted a Shanghai expansion back in S21, but the idea has stuck with me. I personally don’t think Shanghai would ever be in the NSFL, but I think it’s perfect for a DSFL team. Shanghai is also somewhat responsible for the new Baltimore logo.
Up next, the Seattle Magic. Let’s talk about the name for a minute. Of all the names for a franchise based in Seattle, why magic? Well, the pacific northwest is notorious for its involvement with the paranormal. While it’s true that neighboring Portland has had far more famous cases, Washington is not without its fair share of occult happenings. Besides, there’s enough animal teams, who wants the Seattle Sasquatch anyway.
Now, the big guns, let’s take a look at our four new members of the NSFL. First on the list is one that is somewhat familiar, the Vancouver Grizzlies. Now, I know Adam was going to call his team the Moose, but as a rule, this is my show. The Grizzlies are led by AdamS and iStegosauruz. Joining the NSFL in S24, they had a surprisingly quick growth period and managed to make the playoffs as the 3 seed in S27 with a 9-5 record. (probably should’ve mentioned the league expanded to 14 games.) However, they were unable to escape the 12-2 San Jose sabercats. In S29 Vancouver again made it to the playoffs at 10-4 making it all the way to the Ultimus, eventually losing to reigning champion Sarasota, but we’ll get to that.
Vancouver’s counterpart in the ASFC, the Las Vegas Silverbacks is managed by Net and Speculadora. There was some controversy early into the Silverbacks run. It was alleged that someone had convinced the Austin Copperheads to not protect a promising young runningback. The aforementioned player was only in their second year in the NSFL, yet was nearing 600+ TPE. Allegations ran rampant that this player had orchestrated the entire thing himself, messaging the, at the time, Co-GM of the Silverbacks of his intentions. HO quickly caught wind of this, immediately removing the Co-GM and electing speculadora as the interim Co-GM. Having only arrived in the NSFL in S28, the aftermath is still felt throughout the league. Said running back soon retired all together, and has not been heard from since. We’re still waiting to see some success out of Las Vegas, things are looking good having just gone 8-6 in S30
In the NSFC, I was finally given my Brooklyn franchise. I’d love to tell you who the Co-GM is, for now however that must remain a secret. What is no secret, is the Knights slow progression. After missing out on a quarterback in the expansion draft, Brooklyn’s offense was going to struggle from the get go. Having gone 5-9 in their inaugural season, and 5-9 again the following year, there were questions being raised about the direction the team was heading. However in S27 the Brooklyn Knights saw significant improvement from both their quarterback and offensive line. Allowing them to reach their first winning season at 8-6. However, the Knights have yet to really have a monumental season, the best record since the team's inception being 10-4, and missing the playoffs on a tiebreaker with the Baltimore Hawks by only 2 points. Brooklyn’s most infamous moment however, has been dubbed “the Uno incident.” The details of which have never fully been explained. However, from what has been gathered, allegedly a player was traded from Brooklyn to Philadelphia for pennies on the dollar because of an altercation with management during a game of Uno. After spending only two weeks in Philly, the player was then cut all together and vanished shortly after.
The Toronto Titans on the other hand, found almost immediate success. GM’s Jpach and Exilizer managed to take the team to the playoffs in their first season with a 9-5 record. Many thought the only notable thing to come from Toronto in their first year would be their silver and orange color scheme. Despite this, they managed to maintain that moment for the next two seasons, so far the Titans have yet to end the season on a losing record. There is not a whole lot else to say about Toronto, for the most part, aside from their seasonal success, they’ve not had any issues.
Here we can see the last 8 Ultimus Championships
S22: Yellowknife 27 vs Orange County 35
S23 Colorado 44 vs San Jose 16
S24 Colorado 31 vs Orange County 24
S25 Philadelphia 17 vs Honolulu 14
S26 Chicago 30 vs San Jose 21
S27 Baltimore 10 vs San Jose 35
S28 Sarasota 27 vs New Orleans 21
S29 Sarasota 23 vs Vancouver 15
S30 Baltimore 3 vs Arizona 32
With all of that, finally, we’re going to look at a few new members of the NSFL hall of fame.
Kazimir Oles
Kyle Idlewyld
Cooter Bigsby
Dermot Lavelle Jr
Earl Maddox
Sam Torenson
Corvo Harvan
Johnny Blaze
Forrest Gump
Danny Grithead
There you have it ladies and gentlemen, the NSFL in S30. I can guarantee with 100% certainty that at least 36.562% of the information I’ve provided in this article will come to pass. Let me tell you right now, I am truly dreading the Uno incident, that will certainly not be a fun time. Until then dear reader, be on the lookout for the return of Thiath’s 100% accurate mock drafts.