As the 23rd season in the NSFL approaches us, Head Office has succumbed to our chaotic overlords and demanded that the first round of the rookie draft be simulated in order to appease them and prevent even worse tragedies such as Arizona being good or Chicago not trading a 1st rounder.
While i wish this were the case, in actuality we saw teams that were counted out from the start of the season go on crazy and incredible runs and demonstrate the true chaotic nature of the sim, even if YoU tEsTeD 80%, and this mock draft will hope to continue this theme through a randomized selection of the top 24 players in the season 23 class and if the randomizer decides they are worth a 1st rounder.
Well before i ramble on too long here is the mock and an explanation as to why it could possibly happen or demonstrate the lunacy in some of the selections.
Chaos Mock:
Round 1. Pick 1. (via CHI) - Doug Howlett (WR TIJ)
Doug Howlett is certainly on the lower end of the TPE spectrum in comparison to the other prospects available at the no. 1 spot such as Greedy Sly in the draft but doesn't stop Colorado taking him here.
Doug Howlett was the 2nd option for the Luchadors in the passing attack of a potent offense. He ended up finishing with 38 receptions, 467 yards, and a single touchdown on the campaign. While these numbers do not jump off the page, he was overshadowed by arguably the best receiver in the DSFL and a quarterback tandem of Slothlisberger and Waters, which can often leave a receiver struggling to gain a strong connection with a quarterback.
Receiver is certainly a position of need for the Yeti in the upcoming draft as James Bishop continues to face the harsh reality of regression and i wouldn't be surprised if the Yeti go with a receiver with one of their picks in the first round in the actual draft.
With their being four other receiving options available for the Yeti I'd be truly surprised if they selected Howlett with the first overall pick but if they see something they like in Howlett and the continued high earning persists it would make sense.
Chaos Rating: 5/10
While this selection would certainly be surprising to a majority of the league it is not outside the realm of possibility as he is only 50 tpe behind the top earner in the class, thus giving us a lukewarm chaos rating.
Round 1. Pick 2. - Nicholas Ayers (RB MB)
Looks like another backend prospect on the TPE spectrum of the top 24 prospects gets taken early here by Baltimore after a tough season with a new quarterback at the helm.
Myrtle Beach may have finished in last in their conference, but that is not due to their poor play as they were stuck in a far superior conference.
Nicholas Ayers emerged as the top option in a running back committee finishing with 1348 yards and 7 touchdowns, which surpassed his fellow running back Jeffrey for best on the team.
While Nicholas Ayers may have had a great season on the ground, his work in the passing game was nearly absent as he only mustered up 10 catches for 49 yards, which have led scouts questioning his ability to be utilized in the passing game early on in his career.
This selection for the Baltimore Hawks just simply wouldn't make sense as they have Darrel Williams and the veteran Apollo Reed in the backfield for them and have far more pressing needs on the roster.
Chaos Rating 7.5/10
I really don't see Baltimore taking Nicholas Ayers in this upcoming draft, which elevates the chaos rating on this selection as it adds a player to an already full position for the Hawks.
Round 1. Pick 3. - Son Goku (DE KC)
Arguably one of the best players in the draft class, Honolulu is rewarded with a standout defensive end in this chaotic simulation.
Son Goku truly shined on the field this past season with an outstanding 85 tackles, 16 tackles for loss, 2 forced fumbles, and a whopping 9 sacks. This player was truly a wrecking ball and looks to continue this sort of success onto the next level with a recent expansion team hungry for success
While Honolulu already has some talent on their defensive line, it can never hurt to add an outstanding active and high earning player onto your team.
Chaos Rating: 1/10
While this pick can check all of the boxes for any team looking to add a stud onto the defensive side of the field, Honolulu does need some help in the secondary and could look to possibly move back in the draft to acquire more picks or move one of the pieces already on the team for defensive backs.
But this pick is still relatively unchaotic and would make sense for many GMs
Round 1. Pick 4. - Datsum PhastBawls (K, LDN)
Well, the train has officially gotten off the tracks here with this selection as Arizona chooses to take a kicker with their first round pick.
While kickers are people too, a look at his stats can point to the success they had on the field as being the most accurate field goal kicker and the 2nd most accurate on extra points. Datsum also demonstrated the true power of his leg as he booted a 70 yard punt throughout the season, longest in the league, and led the league in punting yards.
While being one of the most successful K/P'ers in the DSFL, does it warrant being taken this high in the draft?
Arizona does already have a young kicker in J.J. who was relatively lights out during the season but apparently left management compelled enough to take a competitor at the position early in the draft for this randomized simulation.
Chaotic Rating: 11/10
I honestly don't think you can get much more chaotic than a selection such as this at this point in the draft and the rating reflects that. Due to some of the personalities on their team it would be interesting to see the reaction around the league.
Round 1. Pick 5. - Adelie de Pengu (LB NOR)
Another surprising pick here as the Philadelphia Liberty go with the 4th ranked linebacker TPE wise.
Adelie de Pengu has a solid year for Norfolk but was nothing particularly special as they had 71 tackles, 2 forced fumbles, and one sack. Norfolk appeared to be pretty full at linebacker which forced Adelie de Pengu to play free safety this season for a solid Norfolk defense.
The Liberty have some solid young options for linebacker on their team but adding another young active user to this mix can never hurt their defense, which was the 3rd best in their conference.
Chaos Rating: 5.5/10
Linebacker is not exactly one of their more pressing needs, they aren't exactly set there either. Along with the other options still available at the position this still makes its a relatively chaotic pick for the Liberty.
Round 1. Pick 6. - Joseph Petrongolo (HB, POR)
Another confusing selection here in the first round and this one belongs to San Jose as they select runningback Joseph Petrongolo.
Joseph emerged as the lead back throughout the season and put up some solid numbers that include 1188 yards and 5 touchdowns, which is nothing to scoff at.
San Jose already has a number of solid numbers at runningback going into next season with Orien Drake, Rando Cardrissian, and Jamar Lackson, which should all feature a role in a typical offense that features the ground game especially with a young quarterback coming in.
Chaos Rating: 7/10
Joseph Petrongolo just doesn't fit San Jose's needs for a player due to the depth already at the position when a need such as receiver is far greater.
Round 1. Pick 7. - Heinrich Kackpoo (LB POR)
Looks like the expansion teams are making out with the stellar picks thus far as Sarasota picks up one of the best players in the draft in the back half of the first round.
Heinrich Kackpoo put forth a great campaign in the DSFL as he amassed 123 tackles, 6 sacks, 2 interceptions, and 10 pass defenses which would make any linebacker jealous of his stats.
Sarasota is fresh off a very successful season in their inaugural year and adding a premium player would only help them on their quest to return to the playoffs.
Chaos Rating: 0/10
I really don't see anything wrong with a selection such as this due to their need at depth for linebacker and overall active young players thus making this a near perfect selection for them.
Round 1. Pick 8. (via NOLA) - Tycker Om (DE TIJ)
With back to back picks in the first round this allows for Sarasota to make some picks they otherwise might not have.
Sarasota is able to double down on defensive talent with Tycker Om, a defensive end out of Tijuana
Tycker Om had a solid season, as far as a defensive end would be concerned, with 31 tackles, 14 tackles for loss, and 2 sacks on the season, which is a success in any defensive ends books.
Chaos Rating: 3/10
While this not truly a chaotic pick, their defense is starting to become ever more loaded with talent but Sarasota would be able to find a spot to put a talented defensive end such as Om.
Round 1. Pick 9. (via AUS) - Tyler Montain (DT DAL)
We first saw Honolulu with their own first rounder and now we see them with Austin's after their playoff exit. Much like their first selection in Son Goku, Montain is certainly a hit on anyone's board as he is the consensus #1 defensive tackle.
Montain was one of the foundations of the BirdDog's defense as he was able to secure 35 tackles and 5 sacks on the season. While not the most flashy season, if he is paired with other elite talent i believe he can flourish
Pairing both Goku and Montain on the defensive line would be legendary for seasons to come as they can continue to grow alongside eachother and form a formidable defensive line.
Chaos Rating: 1/10
With a relatively safe selection made here there is nothing to really critique as Honolulu is gifted with another outstanding player.
Round 1. Pick 10. - Greedy Sly (S LDN)
If Greedy Sly falls this far in the draft we may as well all just bow down to our chaotic overlords and let the sim do what it wants when it wants.
Greedy Sly put forth a very successful campaign at safety and gained 92 tackles, 2 sacks, a pick, and 2 pass defenses for a middle of the pack team in the DSFL.
Yellowknife once again fails to secure an Ultimus and leaves detractors wondering what they can do to finally get over the hump and become the best team in the league.
Chaos Rating: 10/10
This ranks a 10 simply on the fact that Greedy Sly is easily on of the best players in this class and fills a position of need for many teams. While i highly doubt this player slides all the way to the backend of the first round i wouldn't be surprised if they are taken in the range of 1-3 come draft day
Round 1. Pick 11. - Mikel van Perkins (CB LDN) *Done before Ultimus*
We once again find Colorado selecting here and honestly they could end up being the last pick in the first round but i just put them here solely on their record being worse than Orange County's, rather than trying to predict who'd win the Ultimus between the two.
This draft appears to be thin at cornerback, which could point to a possible reach for Colorado in Mikel van Perkins.
Mikel van Perkins was a shutdown corner in the DSFL and it showed as he had 3 interceptions and 16 pass defenses, which was tied for second in the DSFL.
Chaos Rating: 5/10
While Mikel van Perkins is lower on the TPE totem pole, he is still one of the best cornerbacks in the draft and could fill in as a 3rd corner for a team that only has 2. While not totally crazy and could be possible, there are still other options on the board.
Round 1. Pick 12. - Tychondrius Hood (WR DAL)
Now wouldn't Orange County winning another Ultimus after being swept by the lowly Sabercats and stumbling towards the top spot in their conference be a wonderful and chaotic end to another great season.
Tychondrius Hood, great name btw, is one of the best receiving prospects in the draft and if Orange County is able to snag him would certainly help their offense and regressing quarterback to gear up for yet another title run.
In my own opinion, i believe that Tychondrius Hood had the best season receiving wise as they had 57 catches, 835 yards, and a tied for 1st 7 touchdowns.
Putting a weapon like this alongside dual threat QB Franklin Armstrong is a dangerous idea for the test of the league
Chaos Rating: 3/10
Tychondrius Hood would fit into any offense and Orange County is no exception. While i don't think Orange County would make this move with their 1st rounder due to their depth, it certainly wouldn't hurt their explosive offense
In conclusion, if this were to happen on draft night i think it would go down as one of the most entertaining drafts and truly random selections. While i don't believe you should follow this mock draft for your predictions coming up i wouldn't stop you from doing so. Lastly, i appreciate the truly chaotic nature of the sim as it allows for a wide array of variance in results and creates stories such as the red hot Sabercats and the run of the 1-4-1 Copperheads to make the playoffs on the last day.
Randomized List: