NOTE: This assumes all the rosters on the TPE tracker website are accurate.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]1ST ROUND[/div]
1. POR
Goat Tank, DT: After playing in four games for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, Goat Tank is entering the draft. This guy has everything you want in a 1st overall draft pick. He has earned a ton of TPE, has arguably the greatest name in the whole draft class, and makes some amazing and varied tweets. Goat Tank helps shore up Portland’s interior defensive line. With the potential departure of DE Dorothy Zbornak to Philadelphia, Portland will need a new high impact player on the defensive line. I believe Goat Tank is that player.
Another possibility here is S Davriel Lavigne, who played in 4 games for the Pythons as a waiver pickup. However, I believe the Pythons will recognize that Goat Tank is a can’t miss prospect and opt to take him with the first pick of the draft.
2. MIN
Hank Winchester, LB: If I could describe Hank Winchester in one word it would be this: stud. Created by user timeconsumer, who claims to be the “biggest sim nerd in the league”, Winchester has racked up a ridiculous amount of TPE. Even though LB isn’t Minnesota’s biggest need, Winchester is a can’t miss prospect. With this pick, Minnesota gets arguably the player with the greatest potential in the whole draft.
3. MB
Albert Ruschmann, DE: The Buccaneers only have one defensive end and would benefit greatly from Ruschmann’s presence. I had a hard time choosing which DE to pick here. In my opinion, no one sticks out as head and shoulders above the rest. So why Ruschmann? Ruschmann has been extremely active and helpful on discord. In addition, he frequently interacts with his former college teammates on twitter. This all indicates that Ruschmann would be a great locker room presence in Myrtle Beach.
In terms of TPE, he’s up there with the best non-waiver prospects in this class. He also has a very detailed and well-written wiki article. All this culminates in the Buccaneers taking him with the 3rd pick in the draft.
4. TIJ
Davriel Lavigne, S: Tijuana gets the best safety by TPE in the draft. With safety Maverick Bowie possibly playing for the Baltimore Hawks next season, Lavigne is about as good of a replacement you can get. Even if Bowie plays another season for Tijuana, the other safety on the team is inactive and has already been surpassed by Lavigne in TPE.
User Raven, the creator of Lavigne, is a longtime user of the site. Their previous player Harvan played 4 seasons at quarterback for Tijuana. This makes the decision to draft Lavigne with the 4th overall pick that much easier.
5. LON
Rusty Rucker, LB: Rucker, created by user LancedJack, is right up there with Winchester in terms of potential. With LancedJack writing great articles such as a bracketed tournament of DSFL team names, it is no surprise to see him drafted this high. Rucker already has a high amount of TPE and will be a great locker room fit in London. With players like LB Juan Domine and LB Busch Light possibly playing in the ISFL next season, Rucker helps London continue to have a dominant linebacker core. At 5th overall, drafting Rucker here is at an incredible value.
6. DAL
Sheed Thebaw, DT: Nicknamed the “The Unblockable Situation”, Thebaw is undoubtedly one of the best DTs in his class. He will also be thrilled to be heading to Dallas, considering he rated it as his #1 landing spot. Nutbarspadge, the creator of Thebaw, is a dedicative user who has clearly put a lot of time into creating his player. This is no better demonstrated by Thebaw’s famed celebration “Toe tag, Body Bag”. According to his wiki, in this celebration “he mimics pulling a dead body out, wrapping a tag round the imaginary cadaver and zipping up the body bag, followed by a salute.” This is a creative celebration! I have no doubt Dallas has taken note of it.
One thing that surprised me is that Dallas doesn’t have a single DT on their roster. How did this happen? Thebaw will make a great starter but look for Dallas to draft another DT a few rounds later in the draft.
7. KCC
Raylan Crowder, DE: Players like Crowder make it hard to evaluate the top defensive ends in this year’s draft class. He has done everything expected of a new player and then some. Looking at his profile one can see that he has created a DSFL mock draft, completed the S23 Ultimus point task, and has a slick signature (created by TMosura if I’m remembering correctly). Players like Crowder and Ruschman are standouts at their position, and it’s hard to say who is better.
Kansas City has two Defensive ends on their roster, but one could still consider it a position of need. Asher Montain was just drafted by Honolulu and may not play in the DSFL next season. Their other DE is Mordecai Morrisey, who while active, may find himself quickly surpassed in TPE by Crowder. Regardless of what Kansas City has at DE, by drafting Crowder they add one of the top prospects in the draft at a great value with the 7th pick.
8. NOR
Guy Fields, LB: With the top two DEs off the board, the Seawolves draft Fields despite having a greater need for a DE. Fields has already earned a significant amount of TPE and is an active and friendly user in multiple team discords. So why does Norfolk go for Fields with their first pick? Because linebacker is one of their biggest needs. Their top LB is Adélie de Pengu, a likely departure to the ISFL. The three others LBs on the team are either inactive, or in one case, a waiver pickup who is entering into the draft. Fields will be a great addition to a team that looks to repeat their Ultimini victory this upcoming season.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]2ND ROUND[/div]
9. POR
Etrigan T. Slayer, DE: Portland will opt to draft a waiver pickup who played for them this past season. Slayer is active and is currently one of the top prospective defensive ends in terms of TPE. With the possibility of star player Zbornak not returning next season, Slayer will look to fill a huge hole for the Pythons. Besides, even if Zbornak returns to the DSFL, there is not a single other active DE on the team. All and all, the Pythons add two top tier players to their defensive line with their first two picks.
10. MIN
James Gath CB: Despite one user ranking him the 2nd worst cornerback in the class, Gath is the first CB to come off the board. Some may consider this a reach, but I personally do not. Gath has been active, already completing all the rookie TPE tasks and his wiki page. This on its own isn’t enough to be the first cornerback drafted. Gath gets the edge over similar players due to his creation of a mock draft generator. Using excel spreadsheets, this incorporates data such as team needs, player TPE, and positional value to create mock drafts for the ISFL. It is incredible that he was able to make this after being in the league for less than a week. With Minnesota cornerback Ray-Ray Jackson potentially playing next season in the ISFL, expect Gath to contribute immediately.
11. MB
Angelo Cerilli, DT: With the departure of waiver pickup Goat Tank, the Buccaneers need to draft a replacement. It was extremely difficult choosing who Myrtle Beach would take here. There are so many high-quality DTs in this draft and other than Goat Tank, they are all on similar levels. However, I gave Cerilli the edge over other DTs based on his user’s rankings of the S25 DTs. On his own player, he stated “Don't draft this guy, there's nothing impressive about him, do your team a favor and draft every other defensive tackle I ranked before him, don't say I didn't told you so.” This blatant display of sandbagging couldn’t be more obvious. Cerilli knows he’s a top DT prospect and doesn’t want to admit it. Myrtle Beach is smart enough to see through his ruse, picking him 11th overall.
12. TIJ
Honky-Tonk Haywood, DT: Another DT off the board! Tijuana is currently rostering two DTs, although neither of them are active. By drafting Haywood, they add a dominant player who will be an immediate contributor. Take a single look at the name “Honky-Tonk Haywood”. Now, look at his render. See why Tijuana drafted him?
13. LON
Killian Chambers, WR: The London Royals take a huge reach by drafting the absolute bust that is Killian Chambers.
In all seriousness, this is my player. Is it a bit egotistical to have made myself the first offensive player off the board? Maybe. Do I have a realistic shot at being drafted this high? I’d like to think so. Both of London’s wide receivers have a shot to play in the ISFL next season. Even if both returns to London, they will still be looking to add one of the top wide receivers in this year’s draft. I could easily see any other top WRs being drafted instead with this pick. However, I gave Killian Chambers the edge because, well, he’s my player lmao.
FUN FACT: In the last r/nfl draft class, the top wide receiver came off the board at pick 13.
14. DAL
James Hoffman, CB: Hoffman is the 2nd CB off the board. Similar to Gath, except ranked even lower, he was declared the worst cornerback in the class by a well-respected prospect ranker. This makes it clear to me that whoever did these rankings did not watch a minute of Hoffman’s tape. In high school, he and his brother were known as “The Terrors of Cook County”. I believe him and Dallas cornerback Byron Blackwell could make a similar duo, assuming Blackwell stays in the DSFL.
Speaking of Blackwell, he is the only corner on Dallas’ roster. Hoffman will immediately be a starter alongside Blackwell and has the potential to surpass him in TPE by the end of his first season. All in all, Dallas fills a need and gets a great player along the way.
15. KCC
Bob Roberts, S: Remember the prospect rankings I just referenced? User Zaynzk, the creator of Bob Roberts, is the man who ranked every DSFL prospect. There are some hilarious lines in these, and I suggest anyone who hasn’t read these to give them a read. He also put Goat Tank at his rightful spot as the best DT in the class, so he gets props from me.
Wait what, you want to know why KCC drafted Roberts? The answer is simple. It’s because Roberts prevents a position from becoming a weakness before it happens. Currently, KCC has three safeties on their roster. Two of these have not been active in over a month, and the other one will likely play in the ISFL in a season or two. Roberts provides a safety net as KCC’s safety of the future and is great value at 15th overall.
16. NOR
Harley Fank, WR: Norfolk cashes in big time by bringing a waiver pickup back home. Fank is the highest TPE WR in this draft. With WR1 Dre Matthews likely playing next season in the ISFL, the Seawolves only have one WR on their roster. Who is this WR? Their name is Logan Hex and they have not been active in the past month. Fank’s return to Norfolk helps them bigtime. By drafting Fields and Fank, Norfolk adds some excellent pieces that help them remain top contenders for the Ultimini.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]3rd ROUND[/div]
17. POR
Peter Patterson, CB: Portland has a need at CB. Peterson fills this need. Using the twitter @BigPP_ISFL, Patterson gets the nod over similarly ranked CBs because I like his twitter handle.
18. MIN
NationalSimulation FootballLeague, S: Remember when I said Goat Tank had arguably the greatest name in the draft class? NSFL is the reason I had to add that qualifier. Minnesota may have missed out on Goat Tank, but they fill a big hole by drafting NSFL. Minnesota currently has one safety on their roster, that being Oliver Sloan. Sloan and NSFL will make a dynamic duo that dares quarterbacks to throw in their direction.
SDCore, the user behind NSFL, is a veteran of the league and has been active in Minnesota’s locker room. NSFL has also accumulated a significant amount of TPE. Overall, Minnesota will draft NSFL based on his great name, the TPE he’s earned, and his locker room presence.
19. MB
Richard "Dick" Leaking, LB: Leaking’s wiki is a wild ride.The guy was raised by “friendly mongooses”. Give it a read. It says more about him as a player than I ever could.
20. TIJ
Mike Rotchburns, RB: Tijuana could use a 2nd string running back. Rotchburns is the highest TPE earning RB in this class. That’s about all Tijuana needs to know to make Rotchburns the first RB off the board.
21. LON
Vance Slattery, DT: The Royals don’t have any DTs on their roster. Slattery had 12.5 sacks in his junior year of college. London will hope he can match this feat in the DSFL.
22. DAL
L'Gazzy Burfict, LB: Burfict is known as a great guy off the field. On it, he’s a monster. With this selection, Dallas grabs 3 top defensive players with their first 3 picks.
23. KCC
Gary Goodman, LB: Getting Goodman in the 3rd is great for KCC. He is active and should see significant playing time in his first season.
24. NOR
Donald McBobby, LB: McBobby returns to Norfolk after helping them win an Ultimini as a waiver pickup. McBobby has earned a fair bit of a TPE in his short time in the league. McBobby will join Fields as the 2nd LB Norfolk has drafted in this class.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]4th ROUND[/div]
25. POR
Lionel Rumper, S: Rumper’s play can be summed up with one sentence, “You gotta hump with ya rump to bring that thump.” Rumper and Thomas "The Tank" Engine are two of the hardest hitting safeties in the league. Now Portland has both. Let’s hope they are good enough to tackle players that like to put the team on their back.
26. MIN
Dave Batista, TE: This guy is the best TE in the class and it isn’t even close. Minnesota gets a steal by drafting him at 26.
27. MB
Wasrabi Gleel, LB: Gleel is up there with the best linebackers in his class. Myrtle Beach couldn’t be happier picking him up at 27.
28. TIJ
Tayshawn Crunk, S: Despite safety not being their greatest need, Tijuana goes for the best player available by drafting Crunk. By drafting two top safeties through four picks, Tijuana clearly agrees with Crunk’s famous saying “safety first”.
29.LON
Darren Pama, TE: With only one TE on the roster, London will choose Pama with their fourth-round selection. Pama has a ridiculous amount of money, on the account of writing an insane amount of media. Pama may be a candidate for a position switch, reflecting how London drafted TE Harrison Andrews and converted him to DE last year. Even if he doesn’t switch positions, he is still well worth the pick. Pama’s bank account is the reason London drafts him over similarly ranked TEs.
30. MIN (FROM DAL)
Owen Holloway, QB: Holloway is the first quarterback off the board. With only 1 QB currently on the roster, expect Holloway to be the starter a season or two down the road.
31. KCC
Alex Reed, WR: High TPE earner. Played for KCC as a waiver pickup last season.
32. NOR
Dukburg QuakStak, CB: Norfolk drafts another player who joined them via waivers this past season. QuakStak will be one of the top 2 cornerbacks on the roster.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]5th ROUND[/div]
33. POR
Rich Triplet, CB: Triplet will pair up with Petter Patterson as the 2nd CB selected by Portland. With only 1 CB currently on the roster, expect both players to play important roles on defense.
34. DAL (FROM MIN)
Ananda Adyan, OL: Offensive linemen tend not to go this early in DSFL drafts. I made an exception for Adyan. Adyan was created by user TMosura, who is very active. TMosura has also demonstrated his graphical design abilities by creating GFX designs for other players. Despite not playing the most valuable position, Adyan will make a great addition to the Dallas locker room.
35. MB
Corran West, CB: After the unexpected retirement of CB Wyatt Fulton Jr, Myrtle Beach needs to add a CB in this draft. West has completed all rookie point tasks, has created a wiki page for his player, and wrote an overview of the S25 draft class. All and all, West fills a need for Myrtle Beach and will be a cornerstone of their secondary.
36. TIJ
Cmon Skiuuup, TE: Tijuana does not currently have any active TEs on their roster. Skiuuup will slot in as TE1 the moment he joins the team. As a recreate, Skiuuup will give Tijuana a veteran presence in the locker room.
37. MIN (FROM LON)
King Tutankhamun, RB: Minnesota drafts Tut at 37th overall to be their starting running back. King Tut is longtime user Waldo’s player. As a recreate, his TPE is lower than other prospects. With Tut being 3361 years old, some may question whether he can handle the physicality of the league like younger players. Still, any adjustment he must make won’t be as difficult as taking over the Egyptian throne at 8 years old.
38. DAL
Mark Callous, WR: A good wide receiver who may see a lot of playing time if WR Luca Scabbia leaves for the ISFL. Expect “Mean Mark” to make an immediate impact with his balanced skillset.
39. KCC
Jackie Daytona, QB: Daytona’s user is a current ISFL gm. He will make a great addition to KCC’s locker room.
40. NOR
Zach Crossley, WR: Norfolk will need a wide receiver to start across from WR Harley Fank. Picking Crossley makes the most sense here.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]6TH ROUND[/div]
41. POR
Djibutee McJimmerson, TE: Hailing from Rwanda, Djibutee "DaBooty" McJimmerson has all the tools necessary to be a top TE. According to his wiki, “he once ate 69 hotdogs in a single minute”. If that doesn’t scream dedication, I don’t know what does.
42. MIN
Jameson Vermillion, RB: A great running back who falls due to a lack of DSFL need at the position. Getting Vermillion this late is a steal. Vermillion and RB Tut will both see major playing time.
43. MB
Owen Isaac, DE: The 3rd defensive linemen selected by Myrtle Beach. British prospect Owen Issac will be a great addition to the Buccaneers’ new and improved defensive line.
44. TIJ
Felix Archstone, OL: Archstone is one of the top OL prospects in the draft. He will help clear running lanes for 20th overall pick Mike Rotchburns.
45. LON
Crayne Whebet, WR: The Royals draft another WR to pair with 13th overall pick Chambers.
46. DAL
Dan Foster, TE: Dallas gets a great player in Foster this late in the draft. User Arkz is very active and should be a great fit here.
47. POR (FROM KCC)
Noah Akerele, WR: Wide receivers are coming off the board fast! Portland drafts a recreate who has the potential to be a star in the DSFL.
48. POR (FROM NOR)
Terry Yaki, RB: Terry Yaki has the best name of any running back in the S25 class. He is both active and has begun to tip his toe in the media game. This is a quality selection this late in the draft.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]7th ROUND[/div]
49. POR
Milk Mann, S: In a safety class with great names such as NSFL and Jaxon-Waxon, Milk Mann stands out with the simplicity of his name. Mann also wrote a great article ranking states and countries based on the different prospects' birthplaces. Portland got their Mann here.
50. MIN
Bobby Hoffman, DE: The third player with “Bob” in his name to be drafted. Jon Bois would be proud.
51. MB
Clay Clark, CB: The Florida native gets to play a few states over with him being drafted to Myrtle Beach.
52. TIJ
T.J Evans, WR: Tijuana is apparently Evan’s least preferred destination. Hopefully, he can make it work.
53. LON
Marlon Alexander, OL: Alexander is very active in London’s discord. He is also of the top OL TPE earners in his class.
54. DAL
Jake Fencik, K: Fencik is the first kicker off the board. This guy has the potential to be a legend.
55. KCC
Caleb Judge, LB: I don’t want to judge all the other teams too harshly but how is Judge still available? I expect big things from the Columbus native.
56. NOR
Medicinal Toblerone, OL: Currently the top OL player by TPE in the draft. Played in London as a waiver pickup last season.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]8th ROUND[/div]
57. POR
Elijah Torres, CB: A recreate who played for the Pythons as a waiver pickup last season.
58. MIN
Dexter Jackson, LB: Son of ISFL legend Action Jackson, Dexter Jackson is one the hardest hitters in his draft class.
59. MB
Leo Bloomfield, K: Bloomfield was a waiver pickup for Myrtle Beach last season. He also has field in his last name, so he must be good at kicking field goals.
60. TIJ
Jeeeeroy Lenkins, CB: I can’t wait to see Lenkins cover Myrtle Beach WR Leeroy Jenkins when they play. That will be a battle for the ages.
61: MIN (FROM LON)
Joe Show, OL: Show is one of the strongest OL prospects in the class. This Jguy will help protect newly drafted QB Holloway when the time arrives.
62. DAL
Jimi Desoto, LB: A true team player. You couldn’t ask for a better player to be available this late in the draft.
63. KCC
Swantavius Jones, OL: Swantavius played QB 3 years in college. This was despite being 6'6 and weighing 340lbs. You can sum up Swantavius with one word: beast.
64. NOR
Brick Van Sanzo, DE: Norfolk finally addresses their need at DE. Sanzo is a Minnesota native and played at the University of Minnesota.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]9th ROUND[/div]
65. POR
Adam C. Spencer, WR: The Pythons get another wide receiver in Spencer. Spencer is a recreate and has a lot of potential to be a great WR in Portland.
66. MIN
Abdul-Jabbar Abid, DE: May or may not be a cactus. Will make a bid for a starting position on the defensive line.
67. MB
Willy Weasel, WR: With the potential departure of Garfield Despacito Jr., Myrtle Beach will grab Weasel in the 9th round.
68. TIJ
Cleg Manclaw, TE: Tijuana gets their 2nd TE of the draft. The difference, however, is that Manclaw is a blocking tightend.
69. LON
Buster Bawlls, RB: I had to put Bawlls at pick 69 based on his name alone. Also, he’s the last active RB in this class.
70. DAL
Xmus Flaxon Jaxon-Waxon, S: Jaxon-Waxon may have a top tier name, but is he a top tier safety? Only time will tell.
71. KCC
Mason Gillion, CB: Gillion is tied for the third-highest speed out of all the CB prospects.
72. NOR
Matt Peterson, QB: The most agile quarterback in the draft class is the 3rd QB selected. Peterson may need to switch positions to get playing time.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]10th ROUND[/div]
73. POR
Sterling Moss, OL: The Arkansas Razorback product gets draft at 73 overall. I don’t know much about him so here’s a cool fact about Moss: mosses grow in a wider range of light exposures than other plants, from bright to dark. So, no matter how bad Portland is as a team, Moss should be able to grow as a player.
74. MIN
Brandon Kirwin, WR: I consider this pick a win for Minnesota.
75. MB
Curtis Blackshear, CB: Myrtle Beach grabs another cornerback.
76. TIJ
Teddy Utterstruzen, S: Tijuana gets their third safety of the draft. Utterly unbelievable.
77. LON
Henry Grant, DE: Grant may have a low floor, but his potential is future hall of famer. Granted, Grant will need to start earning more TPE to get there.
78. DAL
LeDavious "Dave" Davis, DT: Dallas finally drafts another DT to pair with their first overall pick. You may be wondering, why did it take so long for Dallas to get another DT? Well, there weren’t any active DTs left after the first 3 rounds. Davis has largely been inactive but continues to logon to the site. Dallas will hope he starts earning TPE soon.
79. KCC
Mark Walker, WR: To get someone this late in the draft who is still semi-active is about all you can hope for. KCC does just that by drafting Walker at 79th overall.
80. NOR
Chuck Roth, OL: Norfolk drafts their 2nd OL prospect of the draft. Roth is active and is drafted at an amazing value for being the last pick of my mock draft.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]CONCLUSION[/div]
I’m sure a missed a ton of great players who deserved to be drafted in the first ten rounds. With this being an r/nfl draft, it was hard to pick 80 players out of all the high-quality prospects! I did the best I could with the limited information I had. It is also worth noting that certain positions, such as OL and QB, are unlikely to be drafted in earlier rounds. If I even get a couple of these picks right, I will consider it a win.
I also realize I could have waited for the send down lists to be announced. That probably would have made this a lot more accurate. Regardless, I still can’t wait to see how this compares to the real draft!
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]1ST ROUND[/div]
1. POR
Goat Tank, DT: After playing in four games for the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, Goat Tank is entering the draft. This guy has everything you want in a 1st overall draft pick. He has earned a ton of TPE, has arguably the greatest name in the whole draft class, and makes some amazing and varied tweets. Goat Tank helps shore up Portland’s interior defensive line. With the potential departure of DE Dorothy Zbornak to Philadelphia, Portland will need a new high impact player on the defensive line. I believe Goat Tank is that player.
Another possibility here is S Davriel Lavigne, who played in 4 games for the Pythons as a waiver pickup. However, I believe the Pythons will recognize that Goat Tank is a can’t miss prospect and opt to take him with the first pick of the draft.
2. MIN
Hank Winchester, LB: If I could describe Hank Winchester in one word it would be this: stud. Created by user timeconsumer, who claims to be the “biggest sim nerd in the league”, Winchester has racked up a ridiculous amount of TPE. Even though LB isn’t Minnesota’s biggest need, Winchester is a can’t miss prospect. With this pick, Minnesota gets arguably the player with the greatest potential in the whole draft.
3. MB
Albert Ruschmann, DE: The Buccaneers only have one defensive end and would benefit greatly from Ruschmann’s presence. I had a hard time choosing which DE to pick here. In my opinion, no one sticks out as head and shoulders above the rest. So why Ruschmann? Ruschmann has been extremely active and helpful on discord. In addition, he frequently interacts with his former college teammates on twitter. This all indicates that Ruschmann would be a great locker room presence in Myrtle Beach.
In terms of TPE, he’s up there with the best non-waiver prospects in this class. He also has a very detailed and well-written wiki article. All this culminates in the Buccaneers taking him with the 3rd pick in the draft.
4. TIJ
Davriel Lavigne, S: Tijuana gets the best safety by TPE in the draft. With safety Maverick Bowie possibly playing for the Baltimore Hawks next season, Lavigne is about as good of a replacement you can get. Even if Bowie plays another season for Tijuana, the other safety on the team is inactive and has already been surpassed by Lavigne in TPE.
User Raven, the creator of Lavigne, is a longtime user of the site. Their previous player Harvan played 4 seasons at quarterback for Tijuana. This makes the decision to draft Lavigne with the 4th overall pick that much easier.
5. LON
Rusty Rucker, LB: Rucker, created by user LancedJack, is right up there with Winchester in terms of potential. With LancedJack writing great articles such as a bracketed tournament of DSFL team names, it is no surprise to see him drafted this high. Rucker already has a high amount of TPE and will be a great locker room fit in London. With players like LB Juan Domine and LB Busch Light possibly playing in the ISFL next season, Rucker helps London continue to have a dominant linebacker core. At 5th overall, drafting Rucker here is at an incredible value.
6. DAL
Sheed Thebaw, DT: Nicknamed the “The Unblockable Situation”, Thebaw is undoubtedly one of the best DTs in his class. He will also be thrilled to be heading to Dallas, considering he rated it as his #1 landing spot. Nutbarspadge, the creator of Thebaw, is a dedicative user who has clearly put a lot of time into creating his player. This is no better demonstrated by Thebaw’s famed celebration “Toe tag, Body Bag”. According to his wiki, in this celebration “he mimics pulling a dead body out, wrapping a tag round the imaginary cadaver and zipping up the body bag, followed by a salute.” This is a creative celebration! I have no doubt Dallas has taken note of it.
One thing that surprised me is that Dallas doesn’t have a single DT on their roster. How did this happen? Thebaw will make a great starter but look for Dallas to draft another DT a few rounds later in the draft.
7. KCC
Raylan Crowder, DE: Players like Crowder make it hard to evaluate the top defensive ends in this year’s draft class. He has done everything expected of a new player and then some. Looking at his profile one can see that he has created a DSFL mock draft, completed the S23 Ultimus point task, and has a slick signature (created by TMosura if I’m remembering correctly). Players like Crowder and Ruschman are standouts at their position, and it’s hard to say who is better.
Kansas City has two Defensive ends on their roster, but one could still consider it a position of need. Asher Montain was just drafted by Honolulu and may not play in the DSFL next season. Their other DE is Mordecai Morrisey, who while active, may find himself quickly surpassed in TPE by Crowder. Regardless of what Kansas City has at DE, by drafting Crowder they add one of the top prospects in the draft at a great value with the 7th pick.
8. NOR
Guy Fields, LB: With the top two DEs off the board, the Seawolves draft Fields despite having a greater need for a DE. Fields has already earned a significant amount of TPE and is an active and friendly user in multiple team discords. So why does Norfolk go for Fields with their first pick? Because linebacker is one of their biggest needs. Their top LB is Adélie de Pengu, a likely departure to the ISFL. The three others LBs on the team are either inactive, or in one case, a waiver pickup who is entering into the draft. Fields will be a great addition to a team that looks to repeat their Ultimini victory this upcoming season.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]2ND ROUND[/div]
9. POR
Etrigan T. Slayer, DE: Portland will opt to draft a waiver pickup who played for them this past season. Slayer is active and is currently one of the top prospective defensive ends in terms of TPE. With the possibility of star player Zbornak not returning next season, Slayer will look to fill a huge hole for the Pythons. Besides, even if Zbornak returns to the DSFL, there is not a single other active DE on the team. All and all, the Pythons add two top tier players to their defensive line with their first two picks.
10. MIN
James Gath CB: Despite one user ranking him the 2nd worst cornerback in the class, Gath is the first CB to come off the board. Some may consider this a reach, but I personally do not. Gath has been active, already completing all the rookie TPE tasks and his wiki page. This on its own isn’t enough to be the first cornerback drafted. Gath gets the edge over similar players due to his creation of a mock draft generator. Using excel spreadsheets, this incorporates data such as team needs, player TPE, and positional value to create mock drafts for the ISFL. It is incredible that he was able to make this after being in the league for less than a week. With Minnesota cornerback Ray-Ray Jackson potentially playing next season in the ISFL, expect Gath to contribute immediately.
11. MB
Angelo Cerilli, DT: With the departure of waiver pickup Goat Tank, the Buccaneers need to draft a replacement. It was extremely difficult choosing who Myrtle Beach would take here. There are so many high-quality DTs in this draft and other than Goat Tank, they are all on similar levels. However, I gave Cerilli the edge over other DTs based on his user’s rankings of the S25 DTs. On his own player, he stated “Don't draft this guy, there's nothing impressive about him, do your team a favor and draft every other defensive tackle I ranked before him, don't say I didn't told you so.” This blatant display of sandbagging couldn’t be more obvious. Cerilli knows he’s a top DT prospect and doesn’t want to admit it. Myrtle Beach is smart enough to see through his ruse, picking him 11th overall.
12. TIJ
Honky-Tonk Haywood, DT: Another DT off the board! Tijuana is currently rostering two DTs, although neither of them are active. By drafting Haywood, they add a dominant player who will be an immediate contributor. Take a single look at the name “Honky-Tonk Haywood”. Now, look at his render. See why Tijuana drafted him?
13. LON
Killian Chambers, WR: The London Royals take a huge reach by drafting the absolute bust that is Killian Chambers.
In all seriousness, this is my player. Is it a bit egotistical to have made myself the first offensive player off the board? Maybe. Do I have a realistic shot at being drafted this high? I’d like to think so. Both of London’s wide receivers have a shot to play in the ISFL next season. Even if both returns to London, they will still be looking to add one of the top wide receivers in this year’s draft. I could easily see any other top WRs being drafted instead with this pick. However, I gave Killian Chambers the edge because, well, he’s my player lmao.
FUN FACT: In the last r/nfl draft class, the top wide receiver came off the board at pick 13.
14. DAL
James Hoffman, CB: Hoffman is the 2nd CB off the board. Similar to Gath, except ranked even lower, he was declared the worst cornerback in the class by a well-respected prospect ranker. This makes it clear to me that whoever did these rankings did not watch a minute of Hoffman’s tape. In high school, he and his brother were known as “The Terrors of Cook County”. I believe him and Dallas cornerback Byron Blackwell could make a similar duo, assuming Blackwell stays in the DSFL.
Speaking of Blackwell, he is the only corner on Dallas’ roster. Hoffman will immediately be a starter alongside Blackwell and has the potential to surpass him in TPE by the end of his first season. All in all, Dallas fills a need and gets a great player along the way.
15. KCC
Bob Roberts, S: Remember the prospect rankings I just referenced? User Zaynzk, the creator of Bob Roberts, is the man who ranked every DSFL prospect. There are some hilarious lines in these, and I suggest anyone who hasn’t read these to give them a read. He also put Goat Tank at his rightful spot as the best DT in the class, so he gets props from me.
Wait what, you want to know why KCC drafted Roberts? The answer is simple. It’s because Roberts prevents a position from becoming a weakness before it happens. Currently, KCC has three safeties on their roster. Two of these have not been active in over a month, and the other one will likely play in the ISFL in a season or two. Roberts provides a safety net as KCC’s safety of the future and is great value at 15th overall.
16. NOR
Harley Fank, WR: Norfolk cashes in big time by bringing a waiver pickup back home. Fank is the highest TPE WR in this draft. With WR1 Dre Matthews likely playing next season in the ISFL, the Seawolves only have one WR on their roster. Who is this WR? Their name is Logan Hex and they have not been active in the past month. Fank’s return to Norfolk helps them bigtime. By drafting Fields and Fank, Norfolk adds some excellent pieces that help them remain top contenders for the Ultimini.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]3rd ROUND[/div]
17. POR
Peter Patterson, CB: Portland has a need at CB. Peterson fills this need. Using the twitter @BigPP_ISFL, Patterson gets the nod over similarly ranked CBs because I like his twitter handle.
18. MIN
NationalSimulation FootballLeague, S: Remember when I said Goat Tank had arguably the greatest name in the draft class? NSFL is the reason I had to add that qualifier. Minnesota may have missed out on Goat Tank, but they fill a big hole by drafting NSFL. Minnesota currently has one safety on their roster, that being Oliver Sloan. Sloan and NSFL will make a dynamic duo that dares quarterbacks to throw in their direction.
SDCore, the user behind NSFL, is a veteran of the league and has been active in Minnesota’s locker room. NSFL has also accumulated a significant amount of TPE. Overall, Minnesota will draft NSFL based on his great name, the TPE he’s earned, and his locker room presence.
19. MB
Richard "Dick" Leaking, LB: Leaking’s wiki is a wild ride.The guy was raised by “friendly mongooses”. Give it a read. It says more about him as a player than I ever could.
20. TIJ
Mike Rotchburns, RB: Tijuana could use a 2nd string running back. Rotchburns is the highest TPE earning RB in this class. That’s about all Tijuana needs to know to make Rotchburns the first RB off the board.
21. LON
Vance Slattery, DT: The Royals don’t have any DTs on their roster. Slattery had 12.5 sacks in his junior year of college. London will hope he can match this feat in the DSFL.
22. DAL
L'Gazzy Burfict, LB: Burfict is known as a great guy off the field. On it, he’s a monster. With this selection, Dallas grabs 3 top defensive players with their first 3 picks.
23. KCC
Gary Goodman, LB: Getting Goodman in the 3rd is great for KCC. He is active and should see significant playing time in his first season.
24. NOR
Donald McBobby, LB: McBobby returns to Norfolk after helping them win an Ultimini as a waiver pickup. McBobby has earned a fair bit of a TPE in his short time in the league. McBobby will join Fields as the 2nd LB Norfolk has drafted in this class.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]4th ROUND[/div]
25. POR
Lionel Rumper, S: Rumper’s play can be summed up with one sentence, “You gotta hump with ya rump to bring that thump.” Rumper and Thomas "The Tank" Engine are two of the hardest hitting safeties in the league. Now Portland has both. Let’s hope they are good enough to tackle players that like to put the team on their back.
26. MIN
Dave Batista, TE: This guy is the best TE in the class and it isn’t even close. Minnesota gets a steal by drafting him at 26.
27. MB
Wasrabi Gleel, LB: Gleel is up there with the best linebackers in his class. Myrtle Beach couldn’t be happier picking him up at 27.
28. TIJ
Tayshawn Crunk, S: Despite safety not being their greatest need, Tijuana goes for the best player available by drafting Crunk. By drafting two top safeties through four picks, Tijuana clearly agrees with Crunk’s famous saying “safety first”.
29.LON
Darren Pama, TE: With only one TE on the roster, London will choose Pama with their fourth-round selection. Pama has a ridiculous amount of money, on the account of writing an insane amount of media. Pama may be a candidate for a position switch, reflecting how London drafted TE Harrison Andrews and converted him to DE last year. Even if he doesn’t switch positions, he is still well worth the pick. Pama’s bank account is the reason London drafts him over similarly ranked TEs.
30. MIN (FROM DAL)
Owen Holloway, QB: Holloway is the first quarterback off the board. With only 1 QB currently on the roster, expect Holloway to be the starter a season or two down the road.
31. KCC
Alex Reed, WR: High TPE earner. Played for KCC as a waiver pickup last season.
32. NOR
Dukburg QuakStak, CB: Norfolk drafts another player who joined them via waivers this past season. QuakStak will be one of the top 2 cornerbacks on the roster.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]5th ROUND[/div]
33. POR
Rich Triplet, CB: Triplet will pair up with Petter Patterson as the 2nd CB selected by Portland. With only 1 CB currently on the roster, expect both players to play important roles on defense.
34. DAL (FROM MIN)
Ananda Adyan, OL: Offensive linemen tend not to go this early in DSFL drafts. I made an exception for Adyan. Adyan was created by user TMosura, who is very active. TMosura has also demonstrated his graphical design abilities by creating GFX designs for other players. Despite not playing the most valuable position, Adyan will make a great addition to the Dallas locker room.
35. MB
Corran West, CB: After the unexpected retirement of CB Wyatt Fulton Jr, Myrtle Beach needs to add a CB in this draft. West has completed all rookie point tasks, has created a wiki page for his player, and wrote an overview of the S25 draft class. All and all, West fills a need for Myrtle Beach and will be a cornerstone of their secondary.
36. TIJ
Cmon Skiuuup, TE: Tijuana does not currently have any active TEs on their roster. Skiuuup will slot in as TE1 the moment he joins the team. As a recreate, Skiuuup will give Tijuana a veteran presence in the locker room.
37. MIN (FROM LON)
King Tutankhamun, RB: Minnesota drafts Tut at 37th overall to be their starting running back. King Tut is longtime user Waldo’s player. As a recreate, his TPE is lower than other prospects. With Tut being 3361 years old, some may question whether he can handle the physicality of the league like younger players. Still, any adjustment he must make won’t be as difficult as taking over the Egyptian throne at 8 years old.
38. DAL
Mark Callous, WR: A good wide receiver who may see a lot of playing time if WR Luca Scabbia leaves for the ISFL. Expect “Mean Mark” to make an immediate impact with his balanced skillset.
39. KCC
Jackie Daytona, QB: Daytona’s user is a current ISFL gm. He will make a great addition to KCC’s locker room.
40. NOR
Zach Crossley, WR: Norfolk will need a wide receiver to start across from WR Harley Fank. Picking Crossley makes the most sense here.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]6TH ROUND[/div]
41. POR
Djibutee McJimmerson, TE: Hailing from Rwanda, Djibutee "DaBooty" McJimmerson has all the tools necessary to be a top TE. According to his wiki, “he once ate 69 hotdogs in a single minute”. If that doesn’t scream dedication, I don’t know what does.
42. MIN
Jameson Vermillion, RB: A great running back who falls due to a lack of DSFL need at the position. Getting Vermillion this late is a steal. Vermillion and RB Tut will both see major playing time.
43. MB
Owen Isaac, DE: The 3rd defensive linemen selected by Myrtle Beach. British prospect Owen Issac will be a great addition to the Buccaneers’ new and improved defensive line.
44. TIJ
Felix Archstone, OL: Archstone is one of the top OL prospects in the draft. He will help clear running lanes for 20th overall pick Mike Rotchburns.
45. LON
Crayne Whebet, WR: The Royals draft another WR to pair with 13th overall pick Chambers.
46. DAL
Dan Foster, TE: Dallas gets a great player in Foster this late in the draft. User Arkz is very active and should be a great fit here.
47. POR (FROM KCC)
Noah Akerele, WR: Wide receivers are coming off the board fast! Portland drafts a recreate who has the potential to be a star in the DSFL.
48. POR (FROM NOR)
Terry Yaki, RB: Terry Yaki has the best name of any running back in the S25 class. He is both active and has begun to tip his toe in the media game. This is a quality selection this late in the draft.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]7th ROUND[/div]
49. POR
Milk Mann, S: In a safety class with great names such as NSFL and Jaxon-Waxon, Milk Mann stands out with the simplicity of his name. Mann also wrote a great article ranking states and countries based on the different prospects' birthplaces. Portland got their Mann here.
50. MIN
Bobby Hoffman, DE: The third player with “Bob” in his name to be drafted. Jon Bois would be proud.
51. MB
Clay Clark, CB: The Florida native gets to play a few states over with him being drafted to Myrtle Beach.
52. TIJ
T.J Evans, WR: Tijuana is apparently Evan’s least preferred destination. Hopefully, he can make it work.
53. LON
Marlon Alexander, OL: Alexander is very active in London’s discord. He is also of the top OL TPE earners in his class.
54. DAL
Jake Fencik, K: Fencik is the first kicker off the board. This guy has the potential to be a legend.
55. KCC
Caleb Judge, LB: I don’t want to judge all the other teams too harshly but how is Judge still available? I expect big things from the Columbus native.
56. NOR
Medicinal Toblerone, OL: Currently the top OL player by TPE in the draft. Played in London as a waiver pickup last season.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]8th ROUND[/div]
57. POR
Elijah Torres, CB: A recreate who played for the Pythons as a waiver pickup last season.
58. MIN
Dexter Jackson, LB: Son of ISFL legend Action Jackson, Dexter Jackson is one the hardest hitters in his draft class.
59. MB
Leo Bloomfield, K: Bloomfield was a waiver pickup for Myrtle Beach last season. He also has field in his last name, so he must be good at kicking field goals.
60. TIJ
Jeeeeroy Lenkins, CB: I can’t wait to see Lenkins cover Myrtle Beach WR Leeroy Jenkins when they play. That will be a battle for the ages.
61: MIN (FROM LON)
Joe Show, OL: Show is one of the strongest OL prospects in the class. This Jguy will help protect newly drafted QB Holloway when the time arrives.
62. DAL
Jimi Desoto, LB: A true team player. You couldn’t ask for a better player to be available this late in the draft.
63. KCC
Swantavius Jones, OL: Swantavius played QB 3 years in college. This was despite being 6'6 and weighing 340lbs. You can sum up Swantavius with one word: beast.
64. NOR
Brick Van Sanzo, DE: Norfolk finally addresses their need at DE. Sanzo is a Minnesota native and played at the University of Minnesota.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]9th ROUND[/div]
65. POR
Adam C. Spencer, WR: The Pythons get another wide receiver in Spencer. Spencer is a recreate and has a lot of potential to be a great WR in Portland.
66. MIN
Abdul-Jabbar Abid, DE: May or may not be a cactus. Will make a bid for a starting position on the defensive line.
67. MB
Willy Weasel, WR: With the potential departure of Garfield Despacito Jr., Myrtle Beach will grab Weasel in the 9th round.
68. TIJ
Cleg Manclaw, TE: Tijuana gets their 2nd TE of the draft. The difference, however, is that Manclaw is a blocking tightend.
69. LON
Buster Bawlls, RB: I had to put Bawlls at pick 69 based on his name alone. Also, he’s the last active RB in this class.
70. DAL
Xmus Flaxon Jaxon-Waxon, S: Jaxon-Waxon may have a top tier name, but is he a top tier safety? Only time will tell.
71. KCC
Mason Gillion, CB: Gillion is tied for the third-highest speed out of all the CB prospects.
72. NOR
Matt Peterson, QB: The most agile quarterback in the draft class is the 3rd QB selected. Peterson may need to switch positions to get playing time.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]10th ROUND[/div]
73. POR
Sterling Moss, OL: The Arkansas Razorback product gets draft at 73 overall. I don’t know much about him so here’s a cool fact about Moss: mosses grow in a wider range of light exposures than other plants, from bright to dark. So, no matter how bad Portland is as a team, Moss should be able to grow as a player.
74. MIN
Brandon Kirwin, WR: I consider this pick a win for Minnesota.
75. MB
Curtis Blackshear, CB: Myrtle Beach grabs another cornerback.
76. TIJ
Teddy Utterstruzen, S: Tijuana gets their third safety of the draft. Utterly unbelievable.
77. LON
Henry Grant, DE: Grant may have a low floor, but his potential is future hall of famer. Granted, Grant will need to start earning more TPE to get there.
78. DAL
LeDavious "Dave" Davis, DT: Dallas finally drafts another DT to pair with their first overall pick. You may be wondering, why did it take so long for Dallas to get another DT? Well, there weren’t any active DTs left after the first 3 rounds. Davis has largely been inactive but continues to logon to the site. Dallas will hope he starts earning TPE soon.
79. KCC
Mark Walker, WR: To get someone this late in the draft who is still semi-active is about all you can hope for. KCC does just that by drafting Walker at 79th overall.
80. NOR
Chuck Roth, OL: Norfolk drafts their 2nd OL prospect of the draft. Roth is active and is drafted at an amazing value for being the last pick of my mock draft.
[div align=\\\"center\\\"]CONCLUSION[/div]
I’m sure a missed a ton of great players who deserved to be drafted in the first ten rounds. With this being an r/nfl draft, it was hard to pick 80 players out of all the high-quality prospects! I did the best I could with the limited information I had. It is also worth noting that certain positions, such as OL and QB, are unlikely to be drafted in earlier rounds. If I even get a couple of these picks right, I will consider it a win.
I also realize I could have waited for the send down lists to be announced. That probably would have made this a lot more accurate. Regardless, I still can’t wait to see how this compares to the real draft!
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