I’ve noticed that everyone is doing these pre draft articles to unashamedly make some cash prior to the draft. People want that training. People want that top tier equipment. I am one of those people. Dolla dolla bills ya’ll. In an effort to highlight some of the prospect QBs before the DSFL draft tomorrow, I have had a look at the Prospect Bowl games played so far and the effectiveness of each player.
That combined with their overall TPE usage, should paint a pretty inaccurate picture of who the DSFL teams should draft. I literally know nothing about quarterbacks. Or football. Or this entire league.
All I know is, Sheed Thebaw dislikes quarterbacks, so what better way to get to know the players you’ll be chucking into the dirt than doing some rankings!
1. Owen Holloway
Prospect Bowl Team: Tiburon Landsharks
Current TPE: 130
Summary: If you are looking for a dual threat quarterback, this is your guy. In his junior season at Kent State, he tallied up 1,500 passing yards and 1,000 rushing yards and defeated Boston College in the Smoke This Bowl. In the Prospect Bowl he has been lighting up the scoreboards too, leading the Landsharks to a 3-1 record and straight into the playoffs. He appears to have turned a lot of heads at all of the DSFL teams, with them all scouting him out and seeing if he is as mentally strong as he is physically. He’s also leading all the other prospect QB’s with 130 TPE and appears to be extremely active. One thing that the scout reports are omitting is that he does a ton of work during the off season with his old collegiate offensive linemen and receivers, such as heading to their local BBQ spots and hitting on chicks. He has to be the first off the board.
2. Jackie Daytona
Prospect Bowl Team: Tokyo Drifter
Current TPE: 100
Summary: Daytona is the starting quarterback of the Prospect Bowl team the Tokyo Drifters, who are currently 0-4. However, his statistics are the best out of all the prospects, such as 141 passing attempts, with 664 yards and 4 touchdowns. I think the Drifters record is on their poor defense, as Daytona tried everything to get them out of a hole and keep them in the games. Displaying some serious raw talent and an eye for his receivers. He has 100 TPE and is active on the forums, and appears to have had plenty of experience in college and high school. It’s said that Daytona is from Daytona beach, and drives a Shelby Daytona. He’s also married to Scottish weather woman Jackie Bird, who has hosted the BBC Scotland Hogmanay party every year since 1855.
Look for Daytona to go early.
3. Matt Peterson
Prospect Bowl Team: Brooklyn Atlantics
Current TPE: 92 (I think, his update page is wild)
Summary: This kid will get the job done. Often found in the locker room right before a game, looking into a mirror saying “Brother” over and over again, his mantra has held up well during the Prospect Bowl, with 109 passing attempts for 504 yards and 2 touchdowns. A kid who believes that it’s always better to show the product, rather than brag about it, he’s certainly doing that out on the field. Despite Matt not being the best at college when it came to his studies and leaving college without a degree, is currently attending a local community college studying Home Economics to fulfill his post ISFL career as a house husband.
His stock is rising at a rate of noughts, and you should definitely pick this guy up.
4. Bill Brasky
Prospect Bowl Team: Amarillo Tumbleweeds
Current TPE: 65
Summary: BILL BRASKY. You son of a bitch. 6ft 5in and 104kg and is rumoured to have impregnated a female in the stands just by spiking the football. 97 passing attempts for 578 yards and a tudder, he’s not afraid to throw the pill. Despite several twitter threats the night before his most recent game, he’s so tough that he was literally unsackable. He is known to eat 59 hamburgers at half time, and is rumored to have killed his old college offensive coordinator for taking his scotch off him before a game.We interviewed a few of his old team mates, all stinking of alcohol and smoking cigars in the lobby of a Holiday Inn, and they all just called him a sorry SOB and all claimed that Brasky has slept with their wives.
Draft this dude.
5. Trent Blackburn
Prospect Bowl Team: Liverpool Llamas
Current TPE: 58
Summary: This PHENOM has been showing out at the Prospect Bowl, with 116 passing attempts for 634 and a touchdown. SLANGING THAT PIGSKIN! At a lofty 6ft 4in and a rock steady 102kg, his frame is desirable behind any big offensive lineman, and the size will help with the array of pass rushing defensive lineman who will be screaming down his throat in no time. He needs to do some more media appearances and get in the workouts in order to stay relevant. Finishing 2nd place in the Heisman, with the Heisman actually referring to a cross country running championship where he supposedly cheated by catching a ride from a horse he found tied up in the woods.
You’d be hard pressed not to find a reason not to draft this kid.
6. Uncle Rico
Prospect Bowl Team: Calgary Cavalry
Current TPE: 50
Summary: A confusing prospect for sure. Has this man retired? Will he take a snap in the DSFL? You better hope he does. With 98 passing attempts, racking up a tremendous 557 yards and a tudder, this man knows how to sling a football. Uncle Rico has reportedly been driving from game to game by himself in his campervan, often seen outside the stadium hanging up his laundry and filming himself throwing the football as hard as he can. The man's dedication to his craft is unquestionable, however his commitment to the league is. Maybe give him a miss.
Don't @ me.
That combined with their overall TPE usage, should paint a pretty inaccurate picture of who the DSFL teams should draft. I literally know nothing about quarterbacks. Or football. Or this entire league.
All I know is, Sheed Thebaw dislikes quarterbacks, so what better way to get to know the players you’ll be chucking into the dirt than doing some rankings!
1. Owen Holloway
Prospect Bowl Team: Tiburon Landsharks
Current TPE: 130
Summary: If you are looking for a dual threat quarterback, this is your guy. In his junior season at Kent State, he tallied up 1,500 passing yards and 1,000 rushing yards and defeated Boston College in the Smoke This Bowl. In the Prospect Bowl he has been lighting up the scoreboards too, leading the Landsharks to a 3-1 record and straight into the playoffs. He appears to have turned a lot of heads at all of the DSFL teams, with them all scouting him out and seeing if he is as mentally strong as he is physically. He’s also leading all the other prospect QB’s with 130 TPE and appears to be extremely active. One thing that the scout reports are omitting is that he does a ton of work during the off season with his old collegiate offensive linemen and receivers, such as heading to their local BBQ spots and hitting on chicks. He has to be the first off the board.
2. Jackie Daytona
Prospect Bowl Team: Tokyo Drifter
Current TPE: 100
Summary: Daytona is the starting quarterback of the Prospect Bowl team the Tokyo Drifters, who are currently 0-4. However, his statistics are the best out of all the prospects, such as 141 passing attempts, with 664 yards and 4 touchdowns. I think the Drifters record is on their poor defense, as Daytona tried everything to get them out of a hole and keep them in the games. Displaying some serious raw talent and an eye for his receivers. He has 100 TPE and is active on the forums, and appears to have had plenty of experience in college and high school. It’s said that Daytona is from Daytona beach, and drives a Shelby Daytona. He’s also married to Scottish weather woman Jackie Bird, who has hosted the BBC Scotland Hogmanay party every year since 1855.
Look for Daytona to go early.
3. Matt Peterson
Prospect Bowl Team: Brooklyn Atlantics
Current TPE: 92 (I think, his update page is wild)
Summary: This kid will get the job done. Often found in the locker room right before a game, looking into a mirror saying “Brother” over and over again, his mantra has held up well during the Prospect Bowl, with 109 passing attempts for 504 yards and 2 touchdowns. A kid who believes that it’s always better to show the product, rather than brag about it, he’s certainly doing that out on the field. Despite Matt not being the best at college when it came to his studies and leaving college without a degree, is currently attending a local community college studying Home Economics to fulfill his post ISFL career as a house husband.
His stock is rising at a rate of noughts, and you should definitely pick this guy up.
4. Bill Brasky
Prospect Bowl Team: Amarillo Tumbleweeds
Current TPE: 65
Summary: BILL BRASKY. You son of a bitch. 6ft 5in and 104kg and is rumoured to have impregnated a female in the stands just by spiking the football. 97 passing attempts for 578 yards and a tudder, he’s not afraid to throw the pill. Despite several twitter threats the night before his most recent game, he’s so tough that he was literally unsackable. He is known to eat 59 hamburgers at half time, and is rumored to have killed his old college offensive coordinator for taking his scotch off him before a game.We interviewed a few of his old team mates, all stinking of alcohol and smoking cigars in the lobby of a Holiday Inn, and they all just called him a sorry SOB and all claimed that Brasky has slept with their wives.
Draft this dude.
5. Trent Blackburn
Prospect Bowl Team: Liverpool Llamas
Current TPE: 58
Summary: This PHENOM has been showing out at the Prospect Bowl, with 116 passing attempts for 634 and a touchdown. SLANGING THAT PIGSKIN! At a lofty 6ft 4in and a rock steady 102kg, his frame is desirable behind any big offensive lineman, and the size will help with the array of pass rushing defensive lineman who will be screaming down his throat in no time. He needs to do some more media appearances and get in the workouts in order to stay relevant. Finishing 2nd place in the Heisman, with the Heisman actually referring to a cross country running championship where he supposedly cheated by catching a ride from a horse he found tied up in the woods.
You’d be hard pressed not to find a reason not to draft this kid.
6. Uncle Rico
Prospect Bowl Team: Calgary Cavalry
Current TPE: 50
Summary: A confusing prospect for sure. Has this man retired? Will he take a snap in the DSFL? You better hope he does. With 98 passing attempts, racking up a tremendous 557 yards and a tudder, this man knows how to sling a football. Uncle Rico has reportedly been driving from game to game by himself in his campervan, often seen outside the stadium hanging up his laundry and filming himself throwing the football as hard as he can. The man's dedication to his craft is unquestionable, however his commitment to the league is. Maybe give him a miss.
Don't @ me.
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