08-07-2020, 07:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 08-11-2020, 08:46 AM by Fordhammer.)
The Road from Worst to First: The Portland Pythons
It’s no secret, Portland had a rough season last year. A DSFL worst 5-9, with two separate four game losing streaks is not pretty in the slightest. One silver lining is that they had the best conference record in the NFC and tied for the second-best conference record overall in the DSFL. If they can improve against the AFC, they very well could be a force to be reckoned with. Another roadblock on the road to the Ultimini is the ISFL Draft. Portland had 12 players called up to the big leagues, including some major contributors on both sides of the ball.
Portland’s draft losses were:
1. DE Dorothy Zbornak to Philly
2. S Joel Drake to Colorado
3. QB Sam Howitzer to Yellowknife
4. WR Korbin Brown to Austin
5. LB Myles Smith to Baltimore
6. RB Mai Fukushu to Baltimore
7. KP Blago Kokot to Sarasota
8. S Thomas The Tank Engine to Baltimore
9. CB John Price to Austin
10. DT Alpha Centauri to Arizona
11. DE Sebastian Low
12. S Ruhu Rush to Baltimore
Luckily for Portland, these future stars will continue to suit up for the pythons, as they were sent back down by their respective ISFL teams. I do not understand this system very well and I thought Portland did not have a QB for a bit. On top of this, Portland drafted a group of absolute STUDS in the DSFL prospect draft. Having the first overall pick is a lot of pressure for a franchise, as they have to hit it out of the park on not only that pick, but many of the subsequent picks to improve the team.
Portland Drafted: ( * denotes joined discord)
1. S Davriel Lavigne* 1st overall
A 152 TPE all-around safety, Davriel is a recreated player from esteemed user Raven. Drafting a recreate from a respected user is a surefire way to ensure that you draft a dedicated player. Raven’s experience will be a great asset to the Pythons on the field and off, and he will lead the next generation of baby sneks to glory.
2. TE (CB?) Dan Foster* 9th overall
PorTEland. The first of three TEs drafted consecutively, Dan decided against joining the TE rat race and decided to switch to CB in the early hours of the morning after the draft. Now a 90 speed, 66 endurance, 61 hands pass break-up and interception machine. This change is unexpected, but who needs to draft three TEs in one draft, anyways?
3. TE (RB?)Darren Pama* 22nd overall
PorTEland, for real this time. Wait, what?! He switched positions too! Anyway… Darren rebuilt as a 90 Speed, 75 endurance mega speed machine. He’ll be running away from the defenders faster than he ran away from the TE position. RB is obviously the cooler position, so I can’t blame him.
4. TE Dave Batista* 25th overall
PorTEland. Third time’s the charm. 174 TPE is wild, plus an awesome name, makes for quite the exciting prospect. 70 strength, intelligence, speed, and hands make him a menace blocking and receiving. He fits right into the starting lineup and projects strongly as an ISFL prospect in the coming seasons.
5. DT Etrigan T. Slayer* 33rd overall
Beefing up the DL is always a good strategy in the run heavy DSFL, and This 500+ year old wizard person is an excellent choice to do just that. Sporting an impressive 80 Strength, 75 Speed, and 70 endurance, Slayer is the raw-skilled athletic freak that Portland needed. If he can continue to develop, he will transform in a great contributor to the Pythons, and to whichever ISFL team is lucky enough to draft him.
6. OL Chuck Roth* 41st overall
Portland’s first ever human OL player (apparently). The highest TPE out of all the OL in the class, and the 4th OL off the board makes for an absolute steal of steals. I promise I’m not just saying that because I am writing about myself. Chuck doesn’t have anime hair (yet) and might not be the social butterfly that other OL prospects were, but he’s here to win. Studies show that Human OL players are worth significantly more than OL bots, and Chuck plans to prove this on the field.
7. LB Donald McBobby* 47th overall
Another high TPE monster, Donald McBobby rolls in at 147 TPE. 80 Strength, 80 Speed, and 65 Tackling combine to make him a constant blitzing threat that QBs across the league will fear. Donald is the first LB taken in the draft for Portland, and they chose correctly, because he’s active and he’s dedicated to the team.
8. DT Angelo Cerilli* 48th overall
More Beef! Portland invested heavily in their trenches this draft. Angelo will shore up the interior defensive line with his 68 strength, 70 speed, 60 endurance, and 50 agility, intelligence, tackling, and hands. He’s another solid prospect that will greatly improve the Portland squad, and has already been active in the locker room.
9. CB Ben Anabender* 49th overall
Although not the highest TPE, 108 is nothing to sneeze at, especially when you consider that he was picked with Portland’s ninth pick. Value picks like this are not as sexy as a first round recreate, but they are the glue that holds teams together. He has been super active in the forums, which hopefully will guide him and help him maximize his TPE gain, turning Anabender into a stud of a CB.
10. DT Honky-Tonk Haywood* 57th overall
Very similar to Anabender, Honky-Tonk Haywood is a 106 TPE player that has been active in the discord. 70 strength and speed are a great base for the young DT, who will have the guidance of experienced members of the Pythons locker room to maximize his TPE earnings and turn him into the Stud that his name requires.
11. OL Marc Hamel* 65th overall
Marc is a developmental pick. Sitting at only 82 TPE currently, he has some way to go before he’s ready for the big time. Luckily for him, he got drafted to a team that has tons of experience and is willing to nurture him into the ISFL superstar we all know he can become.
12. DE Bobby Hoffman 70th overall
13. RB Buster Bawls 73rd overall
14. WR T.J Evans 76th overall
15. CB Elijah Torres 81st overall
16. LB Matty Martinsson 89th overall
17. OL Ninton Quelson 97th overall
18. OL Hugh McGree 105th overall
19. DE Hank Sakner 113rd overall
20. CB Naman Fletcher 121st overall
21. WR Dakota Grossman 129th overall
22. TE Julian Joseph 137th overall
Life is far too short to write a paragraph about every inactive player the Pythons drafted. If any of them come back, I would be more than happy to gush about how great they are and how they are the prodigal son returning home. Until then, Ciao
With 22 new players drafted, and 11 joining the discord (I am using this as a sign of not being inactive), Portland has picked up a solid cast of players to fill out their roster and build for the future. While it’s disappointing that no later round picks have joined the team locker room yet, this is to be expected in a prospect draft. The Pythons hit the ball out of the park with their picks in the first half of the draft, which more than makes up for the lack of turnout from the second half of the draft. Almost all of the drafted players project to be day one starters for the Pythons and even the ones that will not start right away will still get significant rotational playing time. The players who changed positions are going to prove invaluable, as they have changed into positions into need.
Have the Pythons does enough to run the table and go from worst to first? Probably not. They still have a little bit more to go before they are a truly elite DSFL team, but through great drafting and team management, the Pythons are moving in the right direction. Even though they will not be the cream of the crop this season, they still have a great chance of making the playoffs, and maybe even have a quality playoff run in them.
1384 Words
It’s no secret, Portland had a rough season last year. A DSFL worst 5-9, with two separate four game losing streaks is not pretty in the slightest. One silver lining is that they had the best conference record in the NFC and tied for the second-best conference record overall in the DSFL. If they can improve against the AFC, they very well could be a force to be reckoned with. Another roadblock on the road to the Ultimini is the ISFL Draft. Portland had 12 players called up to the big leagues, including some major contributors on both sides of the ball.
Portland’s draft losses were:
1. DE Dorothy Zbornak to Philly
2. S Joel Drake to Colorado
3. QB Sam Howitzer to Yellowknife
4. WR Korbin Brown to Austin
5. LB Myles Smith to Baltimore
6. RB Mai Fukushu to Baltimore
7. KP Blago Kokot to Sarasota
8. S Thomas The Tank Engine to Baltimore
9. CB John Price to Austin
10. DT Alpha Centauri to Arizona
11. DE Sebastian Low
12. S Ruhu Rush to Baltimore
Luckily for Portland, these future stars will continue to suit up for the pythons, as they were sent back down by their respective ISFL teams. I do not understand this system very well and I thought Portland did not have a QB for a bit. On top of this, Portland drafted a group of absolute STUDS in the DSFL prospect draft. Having the first overall pick is a lot of pressure for a franchise, as they have to hit it out of the park on not only that pick, but many of the subsequent picks to improve the team.
Portland Drafted: ( * denotes joined discord)
1. S Davriel Lavigne* 1st overall
A 152 TPE all-around safety, Davriel is a recreated player from esteemed user Raven. Drafting a recreate from a respected user is a surefire way to ensure that you draft a dedicated player. Raven’s experience will be a great asset to the Pythons on the field and off, and he will lead the next generation of baby sneks to glory.
2. TE (CB?) Dan Foster* 9th overall
PorTEland. The first of three TEs drafted consecutively, Dan decided against joining the TE rat race and decided to switch to CB in the early hours of the morning after the draft. Now a 90 speed, 66 endurance, 61 hands pass break-up and interception machine. This change is unexpected, but who needs to draft three TEs in one draft, anyways?
3. TE (RB?)Darren Pama* 22nd overall
PorTEland, for real this time. Wait, what?! He switched positions too! Anyway… Darren rebuilt as a 90 Speed, 75 endurance mega speed machine. He’ll be running away from the defenders faster than he ran away from the TE position. RB is obviously the cooler position, so I can’t blame him.
4. TE Dave Batista* 25th overall
PorTEland. Third time’s the charm. 174 TPE is wild, plus an awesome name, makes for quite the exciting prospect. 70 strength, intelligence, speed, and hands make him a menace blocking and receiving. He fits right into the starting lineup and projects strongly as an ISFL prospect in the coming seasons.
5. DT Etrigan T. Slayer* 33rd overall
Beefing up the DL is always a good strategy in the run heavy DSFL, and This 500+ year old wizard person is an excellent choice to do just that. Sporting an impressive 80 Strength, 75 Speed, and 70 endurance, Slayer is the raw-skilled athletic freak that Portland needed. If he can continue to develop, he will transform in a great contributor to the Pythons, and to whichever ISFL team is lucky enough to draft him.
6. OL Chuck Roth* 41st overall
Portland’s first ever human OL player (apparently). The highest TPE out of all the OL in the class, and the 4th OL off the board makes for an absolute steal of steals. I promise I’m not just saying that because I am writing about myself. Chuck doesn’t have anime hair (yet) and might not be the social butterfly that other OL prospects were, but he’s here to win. Studies show that Human OL players are worth significantly more than OL bots, and Chuck plans to prove this on the field.
7. LB Donald McBobby* 47th overall
Another high TPE monster, Donald McBobby rolls in at 147 TPE. 80 Strength, 80 Speed, and 65 Tackling combine to make him a constant blitzing threat that QBs across the league will fear. Donald is the first LB taken in the draft for Portland, and they chose correctly, because he’s active and he’s dedicated to the team.
8. DT Angelo Cerilli* 48th overall
More Beef! Portland invested heavily in their trenches this draft. Angelo will shore up the interior defensive line with his 68 strength, 70 speed, 60 endurance, and 50 agility, intelligence, tackling, and hands. He’s another solid prospect that will greatly improve the Portland squad, and has already been active in the locker room.
9. CB Ben Anabender* 49th overall
Although not the highest TPE, 108 is nothing to sneeze at, especially when you consider that he was picked with Portland’s ninth pick. Value picks like this are not as sexy as a first round recreate, but they are the glue that holds teams together. He has been super active in the forums, which hopefully will guide him and help him maximize his TPE gain, turning Anabender into a stud of a CB.
10. DT Honky-Tonk Haywood* 57th overall
Very similar to Anabender, Honky-Tonk Haywood is a 106 TPE player that has been active in the discord. 70 strength and speed are a great base for the young DT, who will have the guidance of experienced members of the Pythons locker room to maximize his TPE earnings and turn him into the Stud that his name requires.
11. OL Marc Hamel* 65th overall
Marc is a developmental pick. Sitting at only 82 TPE currently, he has some way to go before he’s ready for the big time. Luckily for him, he got drafted to a team that has tons of experience and is willing to nurture him into the ISFL superstar we all know he can become.
12. DE Bobby Hoffman 70th overall
13. RB Buster Bawls 73rd overall
14. WR T.J Evans 76th overall
15. CB Elijah Torres 81st overall
16. LB Matty Martinsson 89th overall
17. OL Ninton Quelson 97th overall
18. OL Hugh McGree 105th overall
19. DE Hank Sakner 113rd overall
20. CB Naman Fletcher 121st overall
21. WR Dakota Grossman 129th overall
22. TE Julian Joseph 137th overall
Life is far too short to write a paragraph about every inactive player the Pythons drafted. If any of them come back, I would be more than happy to gush about how great they are and how they are the prodigal son returning home. Until then, Ciao
With 22 new players drafted, and 11 joining the discord (I am using this as a sign of not being inactive), Portland has picked up a solid cast of players to fill out their roster and build for the future. While it’s disappointing that no later round picks have joined the team locker room yet, this is to be expected in a prospect draft. The Pythons hit the ball out of the park with their picks in the first half of the draft, which more than makes up for the lack of turnout from the second half of the draft. Almost all of the drafted players project to be day one starters for the Pythons and even the ones that will not start right away will still get significant rotational playing time. The players who changed positions are going to prove invaluable, as they have changed into positions into need.
Have the Pythons does enough to run the table and go from worst to first? Probably not. They still have a little bit more to go before they are a truly elite DSFL team, but through great drafting and team management, the Pythons are moving in the right direction. Even though they will not be the cream of the crop this season, they still have a great chance of making the playoffs, and maybe even have a quality playoff run in them.
1384 Words