Sneks want recognition, sneks want awards
Portland has had an up and down season, highlighted by wins at Norfolk and at Tijuana, but soured by a three-game losing streak as the favored team including two losses at home. Despite this, the Pythons’ players have put together stellar individual seasons. All stats were pulled after the week 13 games.
Sam Howitzer, QB
Sam has been the breakout star for Portland this year. After a solid but not spectacular S23 where he threw for 2157 yards on 51.8% completion, with 10 TDs and nine INTs. This came together for a 68.3 quarterback rating. I predicted him to have a big year in my Portland preseason prediction article and he has delivered. He has improved every facet of his game, and through 13 games he’s thrown for 2301 yards with a 56.3% completion rate, topped off by 20 TDs and 4 INTs. His quarterback rating this year is a much more impressive 91.9, the highest in the league by nearly two points over the second best QB, the reigning MVP and QBotY, Suleiman Ramza of Norfolk.
Last season’s MVP, Suleiman Ramza, threw for 1263 yards at a 61.7 completion percent, adding 11 TDs with only 3 INTs, totaling a quarterback rating of 90.7. Ramza is a bit of a dual threat, adding 93 yards and two TDs on the ground. Slingin’ Sam has exceeded all these passing numbers by a wide margin and still has a game to go. This year, there is much stiffer competition for MVP and QBotY.
For QBs, Charlemagne Cortez of London has posted the most yards this season, with 2646 yards, albeit on a much lower completion percentage of 56.3 (more than six points lower than Howitzer’s 62.4%). Cortez has thrown for the tied second most interceptions however, and has the most passing attempts in the league, showing that this high yardage is a product of volume and not skill or efficiency. Reginald Covington III of Kansas City leads the league In TDs this season, with 22 to Sammy Sleeves’ 20. RC3 has thrown six more INTs than Howitzer, on 26 less attempts; he also has a QB rating nearly six points lower. Also, Kansas City has been… controversial this season, so if RC3 were to win, it’d have an asterisk, much like Reggie Bush’s Heisman. Finally, the reigning MVP, Suleiman Ramza. He’s Super Sam’s biggest adversary for QBotY, throwing for 1919 yards, 14 TDs, and only 6 INTs for a 90.2 QB rating. He adds 113 yards and a TD on the ground, as well. He has done this on almost 70 less attempts than Howitzer, so Ramza has him beat on averages, but those 6 INTs on so few attempts is not a good look. At the end of the day, Sir Samuel Artillery-Arm has every QBotY competitor beat via a combination of efficiency and volume that is unmatched in the DSFL.
It is much harder to analyze the MVP and Offensive Player of the Year races, as comparing stats across positions can be tricky, and every voter has their own criteria. All I can say in that regard is that Sam Howitzer turned a 5-9 team into a 6-7 team that really should be about 8-5 and will be making a run in the playoffs. The Pythons have the worst rushing attack in the league, so he really has put the team on his back this season and deserves all the awards and plaudits coming his way.
Korbin Brown, WR/KR
Korbin is another veteran DSFL player on the Pythons who stepped their game up in a huge way this season. After a relatively unremarkable rookie season where he caught 24 passes for 266 yards and a TD, he exploded onto the DSFL scene as The Pythons’ #1 receiver for S24. He’s accounted for 70 catches totaling 850 yards and 9 TDs. He’s also become the primary kick returner for The Pythons, with 932 kick return yards on 37 returns, highlighted with a 98-yard kick return TD. His punt returning isn’t as spectacular, totaling 145 yards on 27 punt returns.
Last season’s WRotY, Dre Matthews, caught 70 balls for 937 yards and 9 TDs. Last season’s Returner of the Year, Luca Scabbia, Had 792 kick return yards on 28 kick returns and 369 punt return yards on 37 punt returns, scoring a TD on a 59 yard return. Korbin’s numbers compare pretty closely with Dre Matthews’ numbers, especially when you consider Korbin has one game left to play in the season. Korbin does need to up his punt returning, however.
Korbin Brown is currently the front runner for WRotY, as he is third in yards, second in catches, and first in TDs in the DSFL. He is only 9th for average yards per catch, but with the volume of targets he has, and with him playing in the slot, his average is bound to be slightly lower. No other player is in the top three in Yards, TDs, and catches, and only two others are in the top five in all categories. Mr. Brown is also leading the way for the returner of the year award, with the most KR yards by nearly 140, and the highest average return yards by almost two yards per return. Of course, he is also one of four players with a kick return TD this season. He is only 6th in the league in punt return yards, and does not have any punt return TDs, so this hurts him a little, but his kick returning prowess certainly makes up for it.
Chuck Roth, OL
OLotY is 100% going to the impressive Clay Stallworth, as he will break the single season pancake record next game and has only allowed two sacks all season. Chuck has put up a very respectable 50 pancakes while allowing two sacks as well, but this is like having a good race only to get blown past by Usain Bolt.
Etrigan T. Slayer, DE
Slayer has put together a great campaign for a rookie DE, recording 34 tackles, including a league leading 19 TFLs, and two sacks. While there are other DEs who have more tackles and sacks, may of them are played out of position in the sim. Etrigan has lined up at DE for every single one of his snaps, making his stat line that much more impressive.
While Slayer might be a bit of a long shot to win DEotY, he is definitely in contention for Defensive Rookie of the Year.
Brach Thomaslacher, LB
Brach was a trade acquisition from Kansas City, and boy was he worth it. He’s accounted for 99 tackles, four TFLs, four forced fumbles, two sacks, and four passes defended. 99 Tackles is good enough for eighth in the league and eight out of all linebackers. Those four TFLs are tied for third amongst all LBs, four forced fumbles are good for first in the league, two sacks ties him for 15th most out of all LBs, and finally, four passes defended is 11th amongst LBs. Thomaslacher has been an all-around destroyer since being traded to a team that uses him properly, and his stats would be even higher if he had been on Portland since week one.
Dan Foster, CB.
Dan is another player in contention for Defensive Rookie of the Year, on top of his positional award. He has the tied fourth most passes defended, tied for first amongst rookies, with 13. He has two INTs as well. Adding in 60 tackles and Foster has had one of the most complete seasons of any secondary player. There’s not a ton of number to go on for CBs, but trust me, he’s been great.
Joel Drake, S
Joel is the superstar of Portland’s passing defense. He leads the league with two pick sixes, is third out of all safeties with 72 tackles, forced and recovered a fumble, and even has a sack this season. He’s truly Mr. Do-it-all for the Pythons, and is absolutely the front runner for safety of the year.
Pseudo QB, K
Pseudo is the best kicker in the league. Period. He’s kicking 100% this year, with the most FGs in the league and the longest kick of the season. He’s third in extra points made, and has only missed one. If anyone other than Pseudo wins KotY, it’s a sham and I will riot.
Blago Kokot, P
Blago has the second highest punt average with 46.9 yards per punt and is only .2 yards per punt away from first in that regard. He is tied for first for most punts downed inside the 20 and is tied for the longest punt. Once again, if he doesn’t win, I will riot.
Portland has had an up and down season, highlighted by wins at Norfolk and at Tijuana, but soured by a three-game losing streak as the favored team including two losses at home. Despite this, the Pythons’ players have put together stellar individual seasons. All stats were pulled after the week 13 games.
Sam Howitzer, QB
Sam has been the breakout star for Portland this year. After a solid but not spectacular S23 where he threw for 2157 yards on 51.8% completion, with 10 TDs and nine INTs. This came together for a 68.3 quarterback rating. I predicted him to have a big year in my Portland preseason prediction article and he has delivered. He has improved every facet of his game, and through 13 games he’s thrown for 2301 yards with a 56.3% completion rate, topped off by 20 TDs and 4 INTs. His quarterback rating this year is a much more impressive 91.9, the highest in the league by nearly two points over the second best QB, the reigning MVP and QBotY, Suleiman Ramza of Norfolk.
Last season’s MVP, Suleiman Ramza, threw for 1263 yards at a 61.7 completion percent, adding 11 TDs with only 3 INTs, totaling a quarterback rating of 90.7. Ramza is a bit of a dual threat, adding 93 yards and two TDs on the ground. Slingin’ Sam has exceeded all these passing numbers by a wide margin and still has a game to go. This year, there is much stiffer competition for MVP and QBotY.
For QBs, Charlemagne Cortez of London has posted the most yards this season, with 2646 yards, albeit on a much lower completion percentage of 56.3 (more than six points lower than Howitzer’s 62.4%). Cortez has thrown for the tied second most interceptions however, and has the most passing attempts in the league, showing that this high yardage is a product of volume and not skill or efficiency. Reginald Covington III of Kansas City leads the league In TDs this season, with 22 to Sammy Sleeves’ 20. RC3 has thrown six more INTs than Howitzer, on 26 less attempts; he also has a QB rating nearly six points lower. Also, Kansas City has been… controversial this season, so if RC3 were to win, it’d have an asterisk, much like Reggie Bush’s Heisman. Finally, the reigning MVP, Suleiman Ramza. He’s Super Sam’s biggest adversary for QBotY, throwing for 1919 yards, 14 TDs, and only 6 INTs for a 90.2 QB rating. He adds 113 yards and a TD on the ground, as well. He has done this on almost 70 less attempts than Howitzer, so Ramza has him beat on averages, but those 6 INTs on so few attempts is not a good look. At the end of the day, Sir Samuel Artillery-Arm has every QBotY competitor beat via a combination of efficiency and volume that is unmatched in the DSFL.
It is much harder to analyze the MVP and Offensive Player of the Year races, as comparing stats across positions can be tricky, and every voter has their own criteria. All I can say in that regard is that Sam Howitzer turned a 5-9 team into a 6-7 team that really should be about 8-5 and will be making a run in the playoffs. The Pythons have the worst rushing attack in the league, so he really has put the team on his back this season and deserves all the awards and plaudits coming his way.
Korbin Brown, WR/KR
Korbin is another veteran DSFL player on the Pythons who stepped their game up in a huge way this season. After a relatively unremarkable rookie season where he caught 24 passes for 266 yards and a TD, he exploded onto the DSFL scene as The Pythons’ #1 receiver for S24. He’s accounted for 70 catches totaling 850 yards and 9 TDs. He’s also become the primary kick returner for The Pythons, with 932 kick return yards on 37 returns, highlighted with a 98-yard kick return TD. His punt returning isn’t as spectacular, totaling 145 yards on 27 punt returns.
Last season’s WRotY, Dre Matthews, caught 70 balls for 937 yards and 9 TDs. Last season’s Returner of the Year, Luca Scabbia, Had 792 kick return yards on 28 kick returns and 369 punt return yards on 37 punt returns, scoring a TD on a 59 yard return. Korbin’s numbers compare pretty closely with Dre Matthews’ numbers, especially when you consider Korbin has one game left to play in the season. Korbin does need to up his punt returning, however.
Korbin Brown is currently the front runner for WRotY, as he is third in yards, second in catches, and first in TDs in the DSFL. He is only 9th for average yards per catch, but with the volume of targets he has, and with him playing in the slot, his average is bound to be slightly lower. No other player is in the top three in Yards, TDs, and catches, and only two others are in the top five in all categories. Mr. Brown is also leading the way for the returner of the year award, with the most KR yards by nearly 140, and the highest average return yards by almost two yards per return. Of course, he is also one of four players with a kick return TD this season. He is only 6th in the league in punt return yards, and does not have any punt return TDs, so this hurts him a little, but his kick returning prowess certainly makes up for it.
Chuck Roth, OL
OLotY is 100% going to the impressive Clay Stallworth, as he will break the single season pancake record next game and has only allowed two sacks all season. Chuck has put up a very respectable 50 pancakes while allowing two sacks as well, but this is like having a good race only to get blown past by Usain Bolt.
Etrigan T. Slayer, DE
Slayer has put together a great campaign for a rookie DE, recording 34 tackles, including a league leading 19 TFLs, and two sacks. While there are other DEs who have more tackles and sacks, may of them are played out of position in the sim. Etrigan has lined up at DE for every single one of his snaps, making his stat line that much more impressive.
While Slayer might be a bit of a long shot to win DEotY, he is definitely in contention for Defensive Rookie of the Year.
Brach Thomaslacher, LB
Brach was a trade acquisition from Kansas City, and boy was he worth it. He’s accounted for 99 tackles, four TFLs, four forced fumbles, two sacks, and four passes defended. 99 Tackles is good enough for eighth in the league and eight out of all linebackers. Those four TFLs are tied for third amongst all LBs, four forced fumbles are good for first in the league, two sacks ties him for 15th most out of all LBs, and finally, four passes defended is 11th amongst LBs. Thomaslacher has been an all-around destroyer since being traded to a team that uses him properly, and his stats would be even higher if he had been on Portland since week one.
Dan Foster, CB.
Dan is another player in contention for Defensive Rookie of the Year, on top of his positional award. He has the tied fourth most passes defended, tied for first amongst rookies, with 13. He has two INTs as well. Adding in 60 tackles and Foster has had one of the most complete seasons of any secondary player. There’s not a ton of number to go on for CBs, but trust me, he’s been great.
Joel Drake, S
Joel is the superstar of Portland’s passing defense. He leads the league with two pick sixes, is third out of all safeties with 72 tackles, forced and recovered a fumble, and even has a sack this season. He’s truly Mr. Do-it-all for the Pythons, and is absolutely the front runner for safety of the year.
Pseudo QB, K
Pseudo is the best kicker in the league. Period. He’s kicking 100% this year, with the most FGs in the league and the longest kick of the season. He’s third in extra points made, and has only missed one. If anyone other than Pseudo wins KotY, it’s a sham and I will riot.
Blago Kokot, P
Blago has the second highest punt average with 46.9 yards per punt and is only .2 yards per punt away from first in that regard. He is tied for first for most punts downed inside the 20 and is tied for the longest punt. Once again, if he doesn’t win, I will riot.
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