09-21-2020, 10:26 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-21-2020, 10:27 PM by Jiggly_333.)
Tier 1, Task 1:
So, I don’t think anyone around here remembers the first real controversy in the NSFL. It was back in S1, games hadn’t even been played yet. Basically, there was a GM who joined the league and got a team who didn’t actually know anything about American Football. He was Canadian, he preferred hockey, he even said as much. But he was still named a GM because he was well respected in the SHL, as was most of the GMs and leadership at the time (except Noble who had already been banned from the SHL). This wasn’t the issue, this is just setting the stage. So I’m in the draft and I’m starting to get scared about not being drafted because I’m an insecure piece of shit who somehow lives within the contradiction of having both a massive amount of self-esteem while also having a massively fragile ego. It’s very common though. Anyway, I message the guy because he was the first person to even speak to me when joining the league and he drafted me. Fun. I was a RB.
He also drafted 3 QBs. All of which said that they wanted to be the starter and refused to position-switch. This was back when position changes were still free for your first hit since we were trying to make sure all the positions were filled. But these three guys refused. So, when faced with the decision to choose one of them, the GM of the team just dipped. THat’s when he said that he knew nothing about football and couldn’t possibly be bothered enough to make such a massive decision if he didn’t know what he was doing. Fair assessment, although it puts the whole team in a really weird spot with no GM and no starting QB. So the team put together a coalition. A “Triumvirate” if you will. I was involved. I was a Co-Assistant GM alongside a guy named JBear, who would leave this league before the end of that year. The head GM was the first ever pick in the history of the league, a guy named Shaka. He would also leave very quickly, he made his own league and tried to scalp most of the league to join his instead. He’s also forgotten more about this sim than you will ever learn, which means he probably doesn’t know much anymore.
So we’re sitting around trying to figure out how to decide between the guys. All were super active and had solid reputations for being super active in the SHL. We enlist the help of a lineman who said he’s able to do test sims really quickly. We test sim with each QB to figure out who would be the starting QB. The results were… a bit inconclusive.
First out was a player named Ethan Hunt. He built a mobile QB. The test sims said that he was not going to cut it at all. He was by far the worst QB of the group. I guess we were looking more at specific passing stats. I don’t even remember stats though. I just remember the guy doing the test sims came back and said “Yeah, that’s not going to work.” So he was instantly done. Luckily for everyone, he took it well and position-switched to a WR. He also eventually changed his name multiple times and was really sporadic with activity after that.
Second player was the one who actually won the spot technically. Josh Bercovici. He clearly had the best passing stats, but not by much. I think he had more yards and less interceptions, but less TDs. I think that I gave him my vote based on the stats. Unfortunately, or I guess fortunately, the rest of the staff didn’t think he’d work out. And he didn’t. After this whole weird case where HFFO tried to blackmail my team to get his rights, Josh Bercovici ended up being taken by the Las Vegas Legion in S2. He never position-switched and was given the biggest fucking contract anyone else had heard of in league history to that point, probably even further until the team budgets probably went up over the years. Anyway, he and HFFO went inactive, the Legion mass retired, and Berc would go down in history as the most sacked QB in league history. Maybe Nick Pierno took that crown later, but I just remember someone giving that stat after Pierno had retired so I’d assume it’s still there. This was from the days before OL Bots, so it was real bad.
Finally, there was the last player. But before I reveal the last player, I’m going to reveal some other names I’ve been holding out on. First of all, this was the Orange County Otters. In S1. They were technically the oldest team based on the average age of those in the locker room. I think the average had to be somewhere in the late 20s, early 30s. The youngest two players on that team were me at 18 and JBear at 14-ish. Otherwise it was a bunch of old guys. One of those old guys: lineman Angus Winchester, the people’s MVP. It was Timeconsumer who did all of those test sims for us despite not really knowing anything about the sim beforehand. He could probably tell you guys himself, but I’m pretty sure that this situation is what inspired him to take a more active role in studying the sim itself and helping to implement better rules down the line, changing the way this league was run forever. Finally, his pick for QB:
Mike Boss.
We were worried about Boss’ super high interception numbers, but he had a ton of TDs as well. TC said that we should go with the guy who got us touchdowns, so we ended up moving forward with Boss. And Boss would go on to win 3 MVP awards, 3 OPOY awards, 5 QB of the Year awards, 8 Pro Bowls and of course, 3 Ultimus Championships. He is the all-time leader in passing yards and TDs. And he almost didn’t get the chance to do that.
So, I don’t think anyone around here remembers the first real controversy in the NSFL. It was back in S1, games hadn’t even been played yet. Basically, there was a GM who joined the league and got a team who didn’t actually know anything about American Football. He was Canadian, he preferred hockey, he even said as much. But he was still named a GM because he was well respected in the SHL, as was most of the GMs and leadership at the time (except Noble who had already been banned from the SHL). This wasn’t the issue, this is just setting the stage. So I’m in the draft and I’m starting to get scared about not being drafted because I’m an insecure piece of shit who somehow lives within the contradiction of having both a massive amount of self-esteem while also having a massively fragile ego. It’s very common though. Anyway, I message the guy because he was the first person to even speak to me when joining the league and he drafted me. Fun. I was a RB.
He also drafted 3 QBs. All of which said that they wanted to be the starter and refused to position-switch. This was back when position changes were still free for your first hit since we were trying to make sure all the positions were filled. But these three guys refused. So, when faced with the decision to choose one of them, the GM of the team just dipped. THat’s when he said that he knew nothing about football and couldn’t possibly be bothered enough to make such a massive decision if he didn’t know what he was doing. Fair assessment, although it puts the whole team in a really weird spot with no GM and no starting QB. So the team put together a coalition. A “Triumvirate” if you will. I was involved. I was a Co-Assistant GM alongside a guy named JBear, who would leave this league before the end of that year. The head GM was the first ever pick in the history of the league, a guy named Shaka. He would also leave very quickly, he made his own league and tried to scalp most of the league to join his instead. He’s also forgotten more about this sim than you will ever learn, which means he probably doesn’t know much anymore.
So we’re sitting around trying to figure out how to decide between the guys. All were super active and had solid reputations for being super active in the SHL. We enlist the help of a lineman who said he’s able to do test sims really quickly. We test sim with each QB to figure out who would be the starting QB. The results were… a bit inconclusive.
First out was a player named Ethan Hunt. He built a mobile QB. The test sims said that he was not going to cut it at all. He was by far the worst QB of the group. I guess we were looking more at specific passing stats. I don’t even remember stats though. I just remember the guy doing the test sims came back and said “Yeah, that’s not going to work.” So he was instantly done. Luckily for everyone, he took it well and position-switched to a WR. He also eventually changed his name multiple times and was really sporadic with activity after that.
Second player was the one who actually won the spot technically. Josh Bercovici. He clearly had the best passing stats, but not by much. I think he had more yards and less interceptions, but less TDs. I think that I gave him my vote based on the stats. Unfortunately, or I guess fortunately, the rest of the staff didn’t think he’d work out. And he didn’t. After this whole weird case where HFFO tried to blackmail my team to get his rights, Josh Bercovici ended up being taken by the Las Vegas Legion in S2. He never position-switched and was given the biggest fucking contract anyone else had heard of in league history to that point, probably even further until the team budgets probably went up over the years. Anyway, he and HFFO went inactive, the Legion mass retired, and Berc would go down in history as the most sacked QB in league history. Maybe Nick Pierno took that crown later, but I just remember someone giving that stat after Pierno had retired so I’d assume it’s still there. This was from the days before OL Bots, so it was real bad.
Finally, there was the last player. But before I reveal the last player, I’m going to reveal some other names I’ve been holding out on. First of all, this was the Orange County Otters. In S1. They were technically the oldest team based on the average age of those in the locker room. I think the average had to be somewhere in the late 20s, early 30s. The youngest two players on that team were me at 18 and JBear at 14-ish. Otherwise it was a bunch of old guys. One of those old guys: lineman Angus Winchester, the people’s MVP. It was Timeconsumer who did all of those test sims for us despite not really knowing anything about the sim beforehand. He could probably tell you guys himself, but I’m pretty sure that this situation is what inspired him to take a more active role in studying the sim itself and helping to implement better rules down the line, changing the way this league was run forever. Finally, his pick for QB:
Mike Boss.
We were worried about Boss’ super high interception numbers, but he had a ton of TDs as well. TC said that we should go with the guy who got us touchdowns, so we ended up moving forward with Boss. And Boss would go on to win 3 MVP awards, 3 OPOY awards, 5 QB of the Year awards, 8 Pro Bowls and of course, 3 Ultimus Championships. He is the all-time leader in passing yards and TDs. And he almost didn’t get the chance to do that.
[OPTION]S32: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 35 \ REC: 582 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 395 \ RUS: 1756 \ RUT: 21 \ CAT: 14 \ REC: 124 \ RET: 1
[OPTION]S34: CAR: 196 \ RUS: 831 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 35 \ REC: 582 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S31: DNQ
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S31: DNQ
[OPTION]S32: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 7 \ REC: 67 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 47 \ RUS: 147 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 7 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S33: CAR: 47 \ RUS: 147 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 7 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S33 DSFL RBOTY
[OPTION]S33 DSFL MVP
[OPTION]Height: 6'2"
[OPTION]Weight: 195 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Yakushima, Japan
[OPTION]Number: 23
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S22: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S23: CAR: 23 \ RUS: 89 \ RUT: 2 \ CAT: 14 \ REC: 112 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 569 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S22: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S23: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S24: CAR: 192 \ RUS: 744 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 7 \ REC: 59 \ RET: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S25: CAR: 232 \ RUS: 860 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 19 \ REC: 140 \ RET: 2 \ KR: 977 \ PR: 44 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S26: CAR: 54 \ RUS: 213 \ RUT: 3 \ CAT: 72 \ REC: 818 \ RET: 8 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S27: CAR: 179 \ RUS: 633 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 38 \ REC: 329 \ RET: 2 \ KR: 100 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S24: DNQ
[OPTION]S25: DNQ
[OPTION]S26: DNQ
[OPTION]S27: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]Height: 6'1"
[OPTION]Weight: 180 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Chicago, IL
[OPTION]Number: 13
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S13: Comp: 213 // Yards: 2306 // Comp%: 55 // TD: 10 // INT: 14 // Rating: 66.3
[OPTION]S14: Comp: 231 // Yards: 2100 // Comp%: 58.5 // TD: 11 // INT: 10 // Rating: 71.7
[OPTION]S15: Comp: 180 // Yards: 1595 // Comp%: 54.9 // TD: 7 // INT: 14 // Rating: 57.4
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S13: Comp: 45 // Yards: 485 // Comp%: 57.7% // TD: 3 // INT: 2
[OPTION]S14: DNQ
[OPTION]S15: Comp: 11 // Yards: 130 // Comp%: 55% // TD: 1 // INT: 1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S16: Comp: 216 // Yards: 3106 // Comp%: 55.7% // TD: 18 // INT: 7 // Rating: 89.8
[OPTION]S17: Comp: 202 // Yards: 2267 // Comp%: 62.2% // TD: 18 // INT: 8 // Rating: 94
[OPTION]S18: Comp: 302 // Yards: 3652 // Comp%: 57% // TD: 18 // INT: 16 // Rating: 77
[OPTION]S19: Comp: 326 // Yards: 3716 // Comp%: 56.4% // TD: 11 // INT: 15 // Rating: 71.4
[OPTION]S20: Comp: 347 // Yards: 4275 // Comp%: 56.5% // TD: 28 // INT: 12 // Rating: 85.2
[OPTION]S21: Comp: 267 // Yards: 3242 // Comp%: 57.5% // TD: 24 // INT: 8 // Rating: 89.2
[OPTION]S22: Comp: 236 // Yards: 2864 // Comp%: 53% // TD: 8 // INT: 11 // Rating: 68.8
[OPTION]Career: Comp: 1896 // Yards: 23,122 // Comp%: 56.9% // TD: 125 // INT: 77
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S16: Comp: 21 // Yards: 231 // Comp%: 65.6% // TD: 3 // INT: 3 // Rating: 79
[OPTION]S17: Comp: 18 // Yards: 186 // Comp%: 48.6% // TD: 0 // INT: 1 // Rating: 52.3
[OPTION]S18: DNQ
[OPTION]S19: DNQ
[OPTION]S20: DNQ
[OPTION]S21: DNQ
[OPTION]S22: Comp: 16 // Yards: 184 // Comp%: 57.1% // TD: 1 // INT: 1 // Rating: 74.1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]
[OPTION]Height: 5'9"
[OPTION]Weight: 185 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Brookfield, IL
[OPTION]Number: 23
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S4: Tackles: 50 \ PDs: 15 \ INTs: 4 \ DTDs: 1 \ KR: 493 \ PR: 418 \ RetTD: 1
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]DSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S4: DNQ
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S5: Tackles: 60 \ Sacks: 2 \ PDs: 4 \ INTs: 1 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S6: Tackles: 50 \ Sacks: 6 \ PDs: 5 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S7: Tackles: 92 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 4 \ INTs: 2 \ DTDs: 0 \ Catches: 16 \ RecY: 171 \ RecTD: 3
[OPTION]S8: Catches: 71 \ RecY: 1239 \ RecTD: 6 \ YPC: 17.5 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S9: Catches: 70 \ RecY: 1168 \ RecTD: 3 \ YPC: 17.0 // KR: 711 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S10: Catches: 68 \ RecY: 1348 \ RecTD: 9 \ YPC: 19.8 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S11: Catches: 71 \ RecY: 1003 \ RecTD: 5 \ YPC: 14.1 // KR: 956 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S12: Catches: 47 \ RecY: 685 \ RecTD: 8 \ YPC: 14.6 // KR: 315 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S13: Catches: 53 \ RecY: 805 \ RecTD: 8 \ YPC: 15.2 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]Career (Defense): Tackles: 202 \ Sacks: 8 \ PDs: 13 \ INTs: 3 \ DTDs: 0
[OPTION]Career (Offense): Catches: 396 \ RecY: 6419 \ RecTD: 50
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]NSFL Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S5: Tackles: 9 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S6: Tackles: 8 \ Sacks: 1 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S7: Tackles: 8 \ Sacks: 0 \ PDs: 0 \ INTs: 0 \ DTDs: 0 \ Catches: 2 \ RecY: 18 \ RecTD: 0
[OPTION]S8: Catches: 3 \ RecY: 40 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 13.3 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S9: Catches: 3 \ RecY: 45 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 15 // KR: 43 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S10: DNQ
[OPTION]S11: Catches: 4 \ RecY: 29 \ RecTD: 1 \ YPC: 7.2 // KR: 54 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S12: Catches: 11 \ RecY: 208 \ RecTD: 1 \ YPC: 18.9 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]S13: Catches: 6 \ RecY: 55 \ RecTD: 0 \ YPC: 9.2 // KR: 0 \ PR: 0 \ RetTD: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S5: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S6: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S12: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]S13: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]Height: 6'4"
[OPTION]Weight: 260 lbs
[OPTION]Birthplace: Chicago, IL
[OPTION]Number: 3
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Regular Season Stats
[OPTION]S1: CAR: 207 \ RUS: 995 \ RUT: 4 \ CAT: 19 \ REC: 148 \ RET: 1
[OPTION]S2: CAR: 191 \ RUS: 640 \ RUT: 2 \ CAT: 23 \ REC: 142 \ RET: 3
[OPTION]S3: CAR: 123 \ RUS: 359 \ RUT: 5 \ CAT: 46 \ REC: 387 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S4: CAR: 123 \ RUS: 357 \ RUT: 6 \ CAT: 69 \ REC: 533 \ RET: 2
[OPTION]Career: CAR: 664 \ RUS: 2351 \ RUT: 17 \ CAT: 157 \ REC: 1210 \ RET: 6
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Playoff Stats
[OPTION]S1: CAR: 15 \ RUS: 59 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 2 \ REC: 11 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S2: CAR: 13 \ RUS: 32 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 0 \ REC: 0 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S3: CAR: 0 \ RUS: 0 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 6 \ REC: 19 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]S4: CAR: 6 \ RUS: 16 \ RUT: 0 \ CAT: 4 \ REC: 17 \ RET: 0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]S4: Ultimus Trophy Winners
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Record:
[OPTION]NSFL S1: OC Otters: 9-5-0
[OPTION]NSFL S2: OC Otters: 8-6-0
[OPTION]EFL S1: Notre Dame University: 0-14-0
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Chicago Blues: 10-4-0
[OPTION]NSFL S4: Chicago Blues: 5-9-0
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Chicago Coyotes: 3-7-0
[OPTION]PBE S7: Milwaukee Swans: 50-50 (Lost World Series 2-3)
[OPTION]NSFL S17: Chicago Butchers: 8-5-0
[OPTION]NSFL S18: Chicago Butchers: 5-8-0
[OPTION]===========================================
[OPTION]Trophy Case/Achievements:
[OPTION]NSFL S1: Finished 2nd in league (2nd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S1: Solis Trophy Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S1: GMs of the Year Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Founded DSFL Franchise, Chicago Blues
[OPTION]EFL S1: Joined Notre Dame University as Athletic Director
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Finished 3rd in league (2nd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S2: Solis Trophy Runners-Up
[OPTION]EFL S1: Resigned from Athletic Director position with Notre Dame
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Finished 1st in league (1st in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S3: Noble Trophy Semifinals Runners-Up
[OPTION]NSFL S4: Finished 5th in league (3rd in conference)
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Joined DSFL Franchise, Kansas City Coyotes
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Moved DSFL Franchise, Kansas City Coyotes from Kansas City to Chicago, creating the Chicago Coyotes
[OPTION]NSFL S5: Retired from Leadership Positions in the NSFL
[OPTION]PBE S7: Co-Founded MiPBE Franchise Milwaukee Swans
[OPTION]PBE S7: Finished Runners-up in MiPBE World Series
[OPTION]PBE S8: Resigned from MiPBE team Milwaukee Swans before the start of the season
[OPTION]NSFL S17: Joined NSFL Franchise, Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S19: Resigned from NSFL team Chicago Butchers before the start of the season
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Appointed Interim GM of Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Staged a violent military coup to gain control of Chicago Butchers
[OPTION]NSFL S21: Retired from all Leadership Positions
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Quote:"There is no such thing as a person who can call themselves truly not lonely. There are only those who choose to hide it."
-Chizuru Ichinose