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Ready to be graded (2182 words)
Quenton Bode steps up to the podium.
"Hello everyone. Obviously this season didn't end how I would have wanted it to, but I'm still excited for the future of Second Line football. I'm proud to have been a part of this great organization for the past 10 seasons, and I'm already looking forward to my 11th season in New Orleans. I'll take questions now."
"Any advice for a young LB as he begins his ISFL career?" --Crodyman
"The biggest piece of advice I can give you -- that I can give any young player in the league, really -- is to always remember that you have a voice. When you're one of the new people on the team, it can be hard to speak up for yourself. You don't want to make any waves, you don't want to get a reputation as being a 'difficult player' or anything like that. But at the end of the day, this is your career, and nobody else's. I'm sure you have some goals set for yourself; if the team you're on isn't helping you achieve your goals, you have every right to ask to be somewhere else, or even to sit out if that's what it comes to. That also means being honest in pre-draft interviews: if a team you don't especially want to play for reaches out, don't hesitate to say 'I appreciate you getting in touch, but I'd rather not play for [insert team name here].' Be polite, obviously, but be vocal. Don't settle for less just because you don't want to cause any problems. This is your career, so make sure you get exactly what you want out of it. Beyond that, I'd say don't stop working when you make it to the league. The grind can be difficult, trust me, but if you keep working at it you'll see great things come your way. Speed is huge, so make sure you're as fast as you can be, but don't sleep on your endurance either. You can't win games from the bench, and your endurance is what lets you stay on the field, so make sure you're working on that as well. Best of luck, young duck!"
"Any plans for the offseason?" --slothfacekilla
"I'm glad you asked! I'm thrilled to announce that, starting this offseason, I'll be running a youth football camp! It's a week-long camp, and there will be one running every week of the offseason. We're still figuring out the price of registration, but it will be very affordable. We're hoping that we'll be able to fund the entire thing with just registration fees, but any other costs that arise will be covered by me. I've never liked the idea of a camp that only the ultra-rich can get into; I want kids from all walks of life to be able to come to the camp and work on their football skills. This offseason, the camp will be in New Orleans only. But next offseason, thanks to the great Minnesota Grey Ducks organization, we'll have some camps up in Minnesota as well. We're hoping to get to a point where we can have this camp at locations all across the country. The camp is officially called "LInebacker Quenton Bode's 'Defeat Opponents, Obtain Trophies' Youth Football Training Initiative," but we're just calling it "DOOT Camp" for short. I'm really excited to get this project off the ground, and to be able to share my love of football with so many people. That's really my biggest plan for this offseason. Obviously I'll continue training and getting ready for Season 25, but the camp is the thing I'm most excited about."
"Playing any fun video games?" --slothfacekills
"Well I'm still working on my Animal Crossing island, and getting it to look just right. All of my villagers are wearing the custom New Orleans Second Line jerseys that I made, which I think is super cool. I've also gotten into Fall Guys! I'm awful at other battle royale games, but so far I'm doing pretty well with Fall Guys. I've won more than a few crowns, and even when I lose I still have a good time, which I think is a mark of a great video game. I recently picked up a game through Humble Bundle called AutomaChef, where you basically have to build the most efficient automated kitchen. It's more of a puzzle game, which I don't usually get into, but it's surprisingly addicting; I've been having a ton of fun working out how to get 100% efficiency on each level. And of course I've been playing the newest Madden. It's not my favorite iteration of the game, but it's been entertaining so far, and that's all you can really ask for from a video game."
"Any milestones you want to hit before Bode hangs 'em up?" --slothfacekilla
"When I first started in the league, if someone had told me that I'd have a shot at holding the all-time tackles record, I would've called them crazy. But at the moment, I'm only 97 tackles away from owning that record. That blows my mind, and now that I'm so close to it, I want that record very badly. So I think that's the biggest personal milestone I'm aiming for at the moment, and while nothing is guaranteed, I feel confident that I'll get there. Other than that, I'm still chasing the usual thing: another Ultimus ring. I felt like we had a really good shot at getting that this season, but the football gods clearly felt differently. I'm hoping that next season will be more favorable for us, but if not I'll just have to live with my one Ultimus. At the moment, I'm pretty happy with how my career has played out. If I had to retire tomorrow, I'd be satisfied with my time in the league. But I've still got some fight in me, so I'm going to keep working just as hard as I've ever worked."
"Why you so cute?" --Frick_Nasty
"Aw, stop it, you're making me blush."
"When you plan to recreate? Don't want to compete with you for RotY." --Duilio05
terriblehippo: "I don't know the exact time frame for sure, since it depends on when I retire Bode. Depending on how things go, there's a real chance that Season 25 is his last season in the league. But, if we get to the end of S25 and he's still an asset to the team, and not a liability, I'd like to see him go all the way through the end of Season 26. I've already decided that I'm going to wait at least season between players, just to give myself a bit of a break from the league. I definitely enjoy my time here, and I will definitely be recreating, but I just need a little time to relax, you know? I've been all-in with Bode for like an actual year and a half now, so I just want a chance to catch my breath before going all-in with a new player. So, to answer your question, I won't be recreating anytime soon. If I had to guess, it'd probably be around Season 28, but we'll see how things play out."
"As a polar bear in this league, you really opened the big stage for all types to enter this league. How does it feel to know you opened the door for players like Adelie de Pengu?" --IsaStarcrossed
"It's humbling, to say the least. I've said it a million times before: when I came into the league, my number one goal was bringing my team a championship. I wasn't really focused on individual achievements or records, and as bad as this might sound I definitely wasn't focused on being a role model. Like, my goal was just to work hard and play good football; I wasn't really thinking about all the non-humans like me who might be watching. But as time went on, I became more and more aware of just how much of an inspiration I was to a lot of non-humans. And that's awesome, but it's also really humbling. Knowing that so many people, humans and non-humans, were looking up to me and using me as inspiration is crazy to me. I'm glad I could be that role model for players like de Pengu, and for so many others. I've gotten so many fan letters from so many different kinds of people -- other bears, of course, but also foxes, owls, moose, even a few walruses. So it's a great feeling. I'm so incredibly proud of the legacy I'll leave behind: not just the on-field achievements, but the path I was able to forge for so many other players who will come after me. I'm glad I did something that will outlive me like that."
"What would you say to any other non-humans that many wish to join the league?" --IsaStarcrossed
"Getting to the ISFL is not easy by any stretch, but it's even harder for non-humans like me. So as hard as humans have to work to get here, we have to work two times or three times as hard. I would want any non-humans who want to play in the ISFL to know that, so they know the kind of battle they have ahead of them. But, at the same time, if you put in that work and truly dedicate yourself to this dream, it is absolutely achievable. And, when you get to this level, you have a huge group of fans behind you cheering you on all the way. There's a lot of humans, so when a human makes it to the ISFL it's whatever. But when a bear like me makes it, suddenly every bear in the world is rooting for me to succeed. That's an incredible and special thing, to be a hero to a whole group like that. So, to any non-humans who are out there listening to or reading this, this is a dream that you can achieve, if you're willing to fully dedicate yourself to it, and if you're prepared for all the hard work that lies ahead. But when you get there, it is the greatest feeling in the world."
"As you near the end of your career, have you put any thought into what Bode plans to do in retirement?" --IsaStarcrossed
"I have, yeah. Obviously thinking about retirement is not exactly a fun activity, since it means the end of something I've dedicated my entire being to for so long. For a long time I didn't want to think about my plans post-retirement, since that would mean having to admit that the journey would eventually be over. But as I've gotten older, and retirement has moved from some far-off eventuality to something more real and tangible, it's gotten easier and easier to think about what I'll do with the rest of my life. That's part of the reason I started DOOT Camp: I wanted to share the knowledge I've gained over my career with the next generation of football players. DOOT Camp will definitely be one of my main focuses after I retire. On top of that, I've got a degree in journalism from Nebraska (GBR), so I'm hoping to get the chance to use that degree. I want to get into sports reporting -- specifically reporting on the DSFL and ISFL -- and I think my status as a league veteran will give me an edge over other reporters. So expect me to be on the other side of these pressers in a few years."
"No one looks forward to the end of the season, but here we are. What is your favorite part of the off season?" --IsaStarcrossed
"I love football, don't get me wrong. But the ISFL season has always been extremely busy and stressful. You're always practicing, or working out, or game planning, or reviewing film, or actually playing a game -- basically, you have like zero free time. And now that the season is three games longer than I'm used to, it's become even more of a slog. Maybe 'slog' is too harsh a word, but it's easy to get burned out late in the season. I've always been able to stay focused and push through, but the off season is great because it gives you a chance to just...not do anything. I love being able to just sit in my home and not worry about football for a few weeks, and to just be there for my family and friends. Obviously the entire off season can't be like that,
and honestly I wouldn't want it to be. But the off season gives me the opportunity to, at least for a few weeks, not be 'Quenton Bode, starting linebacker for the New Orleans Second Line.' Instead, I can just be Quenton, and can just enjoy all the things in my life that football has given me."
"That's all the time I have for questions at the moment. Thank you all for your time, and I'll see you next season."
Quenton Bode exits the room.