Anybody who has taken a look at Albert Ruschmann's wiki page will know that he is a descendant of the great Henry Ruschmann, the inventor of glitter. Naturally, if Albert Ruschmann were to land an endorsement deal, it would be with the Morristown Glitter Company, the same company Henry started. Just as their logo says "Our glitter will block out the sun.", Albert Ruschmann blocks out any chance of opposing quarterbacks and runners getting anywhere downfield.
Some may argue that glitter has no place in football. To those people, I say again, go read Albert Ruschmann's wiki page. In college, he used glitter to celebrate a sack and it was fabulous. Besides being used for celebrations, Albert would incorporate it into his equipment: cleats, gloves, helmet, even his visor. At the very least, the glitter would reflect the stadium lights and give opposing quarterbacks a bit more notice about their impending doom. Additionally, Albert could appear in marketing advertisements for the company in an effort to appeal to the male demographic. Instead of using black facepaint to prepare for gameday, men could use glitter on their faces. Regarding a slogan, Albert would end each commercial appearance by saying "Don't be a quitter. Try some glitter." This slogan really doesn't make sense, but focus group research has shown that the rhyme supersedes any logic that slogan may hold.
Some may argue that glitter has no place in football. To those people, I say again, go read Albert Ruschmann's wiki page. In college, he used glitter to celebrate a sack and it was fabulous. Besides being used for celebrations, Albert would incorporate it into his equipment: cleats, gloves, helmet, even his visor. At the very least, the glitter would reflect the stadium lights and give opposing quarterbacks a bit more notice about their impending doom. Additionally, Albert could appear in marketing advertisements for the company in an effort to appeal to the male demographic. Instead of using black facepaint to prepare for gameday, men could use glitter on their faces. Regarding a slogan, Albert would end each commercial appearance by saying "Don't be a quitter. Try some glitter." This slogan really doesn't make sense, but focus group research has shown that the rhyme supersedes any logic that slogan may hold.