Commercial Voiceover Guy: "Felix Archstone. GM of the Kansas City Coyotes. First round pick of the Baltimore Hawks. The highest drafted Offensive Lineman taken in the S25 draft. Listed as one of America's "Top 10 Most Attractive Athletes." With such prestige comes a lot of crud. Just ask him yourself:"
Off-Screen Voice: "Yo Felix! What are you doing?"
Felix Archstone: "Crud."
*Camera pans back to a mysteriously dark object*
Commercial Voiceover Guy: "And how does a legend like him handle that crud? With the one and only product that can CUT. THE. CRUD."
*The camera pans closer and the object starts to show color, revealing it to be Krud Kutter™*
*The shot flips to a scene of Felix in his kitchen*
Felix Archstone: "Hey there, I'm Felix Archstone. I've got enough crud on my plate as it is, so I don't have time to be dealing with all the crud that comes with the daily routine of a player like me. That's why I choose to cut the crud with Krud Kutter™!
*Felix takes out a bottle of Krud Kutter™ from off camera and then the shot turns to the view of a camera on his stove.*
"You see this crud? There's grease EVERYWHERE! Clay Stallworth must have been making tacos again. But with this?"
*He holds up the Krud Kutter™ bottle and then sprays the stain. He uses a paper towel and starts wiping the dried up grease away.*
"It's crud cutting magic! No longer do I have to sit here scraping away at disgusting grease with knives, hammers, or flamethrowers!"
*The screen transitions with a really low budget fire effect and sound to Felix standing in front of a plain white void background, still holding the bottle of Krud Kutter™*
"I could go on and on about the amazing crud cutting abilities of Krud Kutter™, but words aren't enough to describe the magic of such a great product! That's why, if you visit these select locations on the specified dates below..."
*Text appears on screen showing various store locations and dates in various parts of Missouri and Maryland*
"Then you'll have the chance to see me, Felix Archstone, giving a LIVE demonstration of how the product helps me and can help you, cut the crud!"
Off-Screen Voice: "Yo Felix! What are you doing?"
Felix Archstone: "Crud."
*Camera pans back to a mysteriously dark object*
Commercial Voiceover Guy: "And how does a legend like him handle that crud? With the one and only product that can CUT. THE. CRUD."
*The camera pans closer and the object starts to show color, revealing it to be Krud Kutter™*
*The shot flips to a scene of Felix in his kitchen*
Felix Archstone: "Hey there, I'm Felix Archstone. I've got enough crud on my plate as it is, so I don't have time to be dealing with all the crud that comes with the daily routine of a player like me. That's why I choose to cut the crud with Krud Kutter™!
*Felix takes out a bottle of Krud Kutter™ from off camera and then the shot turns to the view of a camera on his stove.*
"You see this crud? There's grease EVERYWHERE! Clay Stallworth must have been making tacos again. But with this?"
*He holds up the Krud Kutter™ bottle and then sprays the stain. He uses a paper towel and starts wiping the dried up grease away.*
"It's crud cutting magic! No longer do I have to sit here scraping away at disgusting grease with knives, hammers, or flamethrowers!"
*The screen transitions with a really low budget fire effect and sound to Felix standing in front of a plain white void background, still holding the bottle of Krud Kutter™*
"I could go on and on about the amazing crud cutting abilities of Krud Kutter™, but words aren't enough to describe the magic of such a great product! That's why, if you visit these select locations on the specified dates below..."
*Text appears on screen showing various store locations and dates in various parts of Missouri and Maryland*
"Then you'll have the chance to see me, Felix Archstone, giving a LIVE demonstration of how the product helps me and can help you, cut the crud!"