10-24-2020, 02:27 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-26-2020, 02:24 AM by Asked Madden.)
#8 - NoROFLk Seawolves
Starting off this list, the Norfolk Seawolves are well on their way to tanking for the coveted number one overall pick. They only have one win so far, against the London Royals week three. And let me tell you something, they are lucky to even have that win. The Norfolk offense has been just terrible so far. They average less than nine points per game and are in last place in points scored by twenty. The one good thing they had to look forward to is that their next game was against the Dallas Birddogs, the only team that had played worse than them six games into the season, but they just lost that game by three points. If they wanted to stay in contention for the playoffs, they did a bad job there, so they're going to have to go on quite a run during the back half of this season.
On the defensive side of the ball, Norfolk is just about as bad as the Falcons so far. They have only given up six fewer points than their division rivals, the Dallas Birddogs, and even more yards, which means opponents have had to drive down the length of the field in order to score. And the Seawolves have half as many interceptions thrown as the Birddogs, so they can't use that excuse. One issue Norfolk is having this season is with their secondary. They only have one interception more than the team in last place, and they are tied for last in passes defended with 15. If the Norfolk Seawolves want to have any shot this season, they need to win games, starting with tuesday against a 4-3 Portland team.
#7 - Dallas Baddogs
To anyone that has eyes, and most people who don't have eyes, it's pretty obvious that the Dallas Birddogs are pretty bad this season. One look at the index (or if you don't have eyes, you can have someone read it to you) and it's pretty obvious. We are now halfway through the season and they only have one win, a narrow victory over the Seawolves, the only team that's worse than them. Now, to be fair, they haven't had the easiest schedule so far, but that's still not a good excuse. Their defense is absolutely terrible, and they are the single team that's given up the most points. There isn't really anything in the index to indicate a bad defense however. Dallas has the most tackles of any team, and they aren't last in any particular stat. The only thing I can think of is that they have all those tackles because they can't get any stops, so they are on the field longer.
The offense for Dallas is doing a little better though. They average more than 15 points per game, which surprisingly isn't dead last. They are in front of the Norfolk Seawolves and the Tijuana Luchadores. Dallas actually gets quite a few yards, but their turnovers kill them. Their quarterback (or quarterbacks) have thrown twelve interceptions in just these seven games. Those are Carson Wentz numbers. This means opposing offenses have shorter fields and easier points, which leads to all of these losses for Dallas so far. One bright spot in the Dallas offense is definitely the running game. Their top running back, Cobra Kai, has more than 700 yards on the ground and 4 touchdowns, and a really good yards per carry stat, at 5.4. The second Dallas back has 433 yards and their own rushing touchdown. I think it's safe to say Dallas will be out of the playoffs yet again this season and that they might as well tank for *insert good rookie here*, but they're most recent win doesn't really help that cause.
#6 - Tijuana Luchasnores
Next up on the list is Tijuana. I call them the "Luchasnores" because in five of their seven games so far, there have been less than 30 points scored between both teams. Honestly pretty low scoring games that would be boring to watch in real life. Most of the games have been decided by less than one score, all of them, in fact, besides a blowout loss to the Royals. Anyway, let's talk about the Tijuana defense. They've done really well on this side of the ball, third best in the league when it comes to allowing points. They don't have many picks, but they sack the quarterback more than any other team (23), and somehow, they have four fumble recoveries with only two fumblse forced. Don't ask me. Their special teams alslo has two blocked punts, tied for first with Myrtle Beach.
Offense, however, is a very different story. They really struggle to score points, averaging just twelve per game. They have the third worst passing offense in terms of yards, but their quarterback has been ok, only throwing two picks so far, but also only throwing two touchdowns. On the ground and pound aspect, the Luchadores have the second best yards per carry, but the fewest attempts. This leads to them having the second fewest rush yards as a team. Maybe they need to run the ball more. It looks like Tijuana will end up making the playoffs, because the two teams behind them are the two clear cut worst teams in the league right now, and Dallas' win against Norfolk helps them out a little bit.
#5 - Kansas City OKoyotes
Rounding out the bottom half of this list with the first team that has a record above .500. at four wins and three losses, the Coyotes are tied in record with two other teams in their division, the Pythons and the Grey Ducks. I put them last out of those three teams even though the index has them in the middle because of their worse defense. They've given up 117 points as we hit the halfway point, compared to 92 by Portland and 91 by Minnesota. One thing about KC is that they win the games they should win and lose the games they should lose. Their three losses are against Myrtle Beach, London, and Portland, the three best teams in the league so far. Their offense has scored 17.6 points per game, 4th in the league, which is thanks to a defense that has produced six interceptions so far.
The defense for the Coyotes isn't quite up to par. They are third last in the league when it comes to points allowed, even though they are second from the top in yards allowed. They are one of the three teams with a defensive touchdown, and they have the second most interceptions and sacks. They seem to have pretty good stats, but they just can't keep opposing offenses out of the end zone.
#4 - Minnesota Grey Hecks
I say heck here because I'm too wholesome to curse in a media post. But honestly, Minnesota is so unlucky to be in last place in their division. Their record of four wins and three losses would but them in second in the SFC South behind only the Buccaneers. Instead they're in a three-way tie for second and lose on tiebreakers to both other teams. Minnesota also has the best defense in the league in terms of points allowed, narrowly beating out the Pythons by one point. There isn't really much in the index to indicate such a strong defense, like turnovers, but they are 3/3 on forced fumbles/fumble recoveries, and also have a blocked punt.
The Ducks offense is pass heavy, with 208 attempts vs 251 rushing attempts (I say pass heavy but in the DSFL running still rules). Quarterback Ryan Negs has 1250 yards, second most in the league, seven touchdowns, four interceptions, and the third best passer rating in the league, at 80.0. Mike Rotchburns, their number one running back, has 738 yards on 170 carries, an average of 4.3 yards per carry. Jameson Vermillion, who recently got called up to the ISFL, had 330 yards through six games, and was averaging 4.9 yards per carry, one of the highest in the league. This is a very tight division so far, and any of the four teams could make the playoffs depending how they do in the coming weeks.
#3 - PortLAND Pythons
Emphasis on land here because the Pythons run, and they run a lot. They average 163.9 rush yards per game. With 268 attempts, they have 1147 yards, which is second in the league only to Dallas. Both of their running backs, Darren Pama and Anders Christiansen, are in their second year, unlike their rookie quarterback Lebron James III, who has -8 rush yards (lmap). Luckily, he's a little better at throwing the ball. He's got 1082 yards with 7 touchdowns and 4 interceptions, giving him a quarterback rating of 78.6
On the defensive side of the ball, Portland has been amazing. They haven't allowed more than 20 points in any single game so far this season, and they held the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers to just ten points. They have the least tackles in the DSFL, meaning they aren't on the field for as long, and have one of the three defensive touchdowns that have happened so far. They've forced 9 turnovers, which is third most in the DSFL. If Portland wants to make the playoffs, they need to win the close games, especially against other teams in their conference.
#2 - London Royals
I don't even have to make a nickname for London because the team is playing like royalty. They've only lost two games so far this season, at home against the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, and an unlucky game against the Norfolk Seawolves in Norfolk. This puts them ahead of the other three teams in their division by one game, so it's still very close, but London's already beaten the three teams in their division once. They have the highest scoring offense, at 22 points per game, thanks to a quarterback with 1220 yards and 9 touchdowns. Both of their running back also have four scores each, though they have to split yards. Also one of them is a bot like dam London get another back.
London has a pretty average defense compared to the other team, at least in points allowed. The Royals D has five forced fumbles and six fumble recoveries, both tied for top in the league. They also have four interceptions, which is surprisingly low for such a good team. One big thing though is that the London Royals are the only team in the league that has a safety. And if I had to choose one team that would probably have a safety I would choose London. They have 23 tackles for loss and 17 sacks, as well as ten punts inside the 20. Even though the Royals are in front in their division, anyone could make it so London has to keep winning.
#1 - Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
And the best team in the league, not really a surprise, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. They only have one loss, a 44-10 blowout vs the Portland Pythons in week two. The Bucs have a very explosive offensive, even though they don't score the most points (barely), they gain the most yards out of anyone. Their quarterback, rookie Jackie Daytona, is the only player with more than 1300 passing yards, as well as having eight touchdowns and only two interceptions, the least of anyone with more than 1100 yards. The rush game for Myrtle Beach is also strong, adding another 1100 yards and eight touchdowns to the offense.
Their defense gives up a little more than 15 points per game, which is fourth in the league, but because of their great offense it doesn't really matter. One thing the defense is particularly good as is forcing turnovers. They have seven interceptions, the most in the league, and six fumbles recoveries, tied for first. They also have the most pass defended out of anyone. The one bad area of their defense is the line. They only have six sacks, barely half of what everyone else has. The special teams also helps out the Bucs, as they have two blocked punts, as well as the highest average yards per punt (46.9 yards) and the longest punt (71 yards). At this point, Myrtle Beach is already basically a lock for the playoffs, unless one of the two 1 win teams wins out, which just isn't going to happen.
Also Myrtle Beach didn't get a fun nickname because you can't be better than perfect c:
Starting off this list, the Norfolk Seawolves are well on their way to tanking for the coveted number one overall pick. They only have one win so far, against the London Royals week three. And let me tell you something, they are lucky to even have that win. The Norfolk offense has been just terrible so far. They average less than nine points per game and are in last place in points scored by twenty. The one good thing they had to look forward to is that their next game was against the Dallas Birddogs, the only team that had played worse than them six games into the season, but they just lost that game by three points. If they wanted to stay in contention for the playoffs, they did a bad job there, so they're going to have to go on quite a run during the back half of this season.
On the defensive side of the ball, Norfolk is just about as bad as the Falcons so far. They have only given up six fewer points than their division rivals, the Dallas Birddogs, and even more yards, which means opponents have had to drive down the length of the field in order to score. And the Seawolves have half as many interceptions thrown as the Birddogs, so they can't use that excuse. One issue Norfolk is having this season is with their secondary. They only have one interception more than the team in last place, and they are tied for last in passes defended with 15. If the Norfolk Seawolves want to have any shot this season, they need to win games, starting with tuesday against a 4-3 Portland team.
#7 - Dallas Baddogs
To anyone that has eyes, and most people who don't have eyes, it's pretty obvious that the Dallas Birddogs are pretty bad this season. One look at the index (or if you don't have eyes, you can have someone read it to you) and it's pretty obvious. We are now halfway through the season and they only have one win, a narrow victory over the Seawolves, the only team that's worse than them. Now, to be fair, they haven't had the easiest schedule so far, but that's still not a good excuse. Their defense is absolutely terrible, and they are the single team that's given up the most points. There isn't really anything in the index to indicate a bad defense however. Dallas has the most tackles of any team, and they aren't last in any particular stat. The only thing I can think of is that they have all those tackles because they can't get any stops, so they are on the field longer.
The offense for Dallas is doing a little better though. They average more than 15 points per game, which surprisingly isn't dead last. They are in front of the Norfolk Seawolves and the Tijuana Luchadores. Dallas actually gets quite a few yards, but their turnovers kill them. Their quarterback (or quarterbacks) have thrown twelve interceptions in just these seven games. Those are Carson Wentz numbers. This means opposing offenses have shorter fields and easier points, which leads to all of these losses for Dallas so far. One bright spot in the Dallas offense is definitely the running game. Their top running back, Cobra Kai, has more than 700 yards on the ground and 4 touchdowns, and a really good yards per carry stat, at 5.4. The second Dallas back has 433 yards and their own rushing touchdown. I think it's safe to say Dallas will be out of the playoffs yet again this season and that they might as well tank for *insert good rookie here*, but they're most recent win doesn't really help that cause.
#6 - Tijuana Luchasnores
Next up on the list is Tijuana. I call them the "Luchasnores" because in five of their seven games so far, there have been less than 30 points scored between both teams. Honestly pretty low scoring games that would be boring to watch in real life. Most of the games have been decided by less than one score, all of them, in fact, besides a blowout loss to the Royals. Anyway, let's talk about the Tijuana defense. They've done really well on this side of the ball, third best in the league when it comes to allowing points. They don't have many picks, but they sack the quarterback more than any other team (23), and somehow, they have four fumble recoveries with only two fumblse forced. Don't ask me. Their special teams alslo has two blocked punts, tied for first with Myrtle Beach.
Offense, however, is a very different story. They really struggle to score points, averaging just twelve per game. They have the third worst passing offense in terms of yards, but their quarterback has been ok, only throwing two picks so far, but also only throwing two touchdowns. On the ground and pound aspect, the Luchadores have the second best yards per carry, but the fewest attempts. This leads to them having the second fewest rush yards as a team. Maybe they need to run the ball more. It looks like Tijuana will end up making the playoffs, because the two teams behind them are the two clear cut worst teams in the league right now, and Dallas' win against Norfolk helps them out a little bit.
#5 - Kansas City OKoyotes
Rounding out the bottom half of this list with the first team that has a record above .500. at four wins and three losses, the Coyotes are tied in record with two other teams in their division, the Pythons and the Grey Ducks. I put them last out of those three teams even though the index has them in the middle because of their worse defense. They've given up 117 points as we hit the halfway point, compared to 92 by Portland and 91 by Minnesota. One thing about KC is that they win the games they should win and lose the games they should lose. Their three losses are against Myrtle Beach, London, and Portland, the three best teams in the league so far. Their offense has scored 17.6 points per game, 4th in the league, which is thanks to a defense that has produced six interceptions so far.
The defense for the Coyotes isn't quite up to par. They are third last in the league when it comes to points allowed, even though they are second from the top in yards allowed. They are one of the three teams with a defensive touchdown, and they have the second most interceptions and sacks. They seem to have pretty good stats, but they just can't keep opposing offenses out of the end zone.
#4 - Minnesota Grey Hecks
I say heck here because I'm too wholesome to curse in a media post. But honestly, Minnesota is so unlucky to be in last place in their division. Their record of four wins and three losses would but them in second in the SFC South behind only the Buccaneers. Instead they're in a three-way tie for second and lose on tiebreakers to both other teams. Minnesota also has the best defense in the league in terms of points allowed, narrowly beating out the Pythons by one point. There isn't really much in the index to indicate such a strong defense, like turnovers, but they are 3/3 on forced fumbles/fumble recoveries, and also have a blocked punt.
The Ducks offense is pass heavy, with 208 attempts vs 251 rushing attempts (I say pass heavy but in the DSFL running still rules). Quarterback Ryan Negs has 1250 yards, second most in the league, seven touchdowns, four interceptions, and the third best passer rating in the league, at 80.0. Mike Rotchburns, their number one running back, has 738 yards on 170 carries, an average of 4.3 yards per carry. Jameson Vermillion, who recently got called up to the ISFL, had 330 yards through six games, and was averaging 4.9 yards per carry, one of the highest in the league. This is a very tight division so far, and any of the four teams could make the playoffs depending how they do in the coming weeks.
#3 - PortLAND Pythons
Emphasis on land here because the Pythons run, and they run a lot. They average 163.9 rush yards per game. With 268 attempts, they have 1147 yards, which is second in the league only to Dallas. Both of their running backs, Darren Pama and Anders Christiansen, are in their second year, unlike their rookie quarterback Lebron James III, who has -8 rush yards (lmap). Luckily, he's a little better at throwing the ball. He's got 1082 yards with 7 touchdowns and 4 interceptions, giving him a quarterback rating of 78.6
On the defensive side of the ball, Portland has been amazing. They haven't allowed more than 20 points in any single game so far this season, and they held the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers to just ten points. They have the least tackles in the DSFL, meaning they aren't on the field for as long, and have one of the three defensive touchdowns that have happened so far. They've forced 9 turnovers, which is third most in the DSFL. If Portland wants to make the playoffs, they need to win the close games, especially against other teams in their conference.
#2 - London Royals
I don't even have to make a nickname for London because the team is playing like royalty. They've only lost two games so far this season, at home against the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers, and an unlucky game against the Norfolk Seawolves in Norfolk. This puts them ahead of the other three teams in their division by one game, so it's still very close, but London's already beaten the three teams in their division once. They have the highest scoring offense, at 22 points per game, thanks to a quarterback with 1220 yards and 9 touchdowns. Both of their running back also have four scores each, though they have to split yards. Also one of them is a bot like dam London get another back.
London has a pretty average defense compared to the other team, at least in points allowed. The Royals D has five forced fumbles and six fumble recoveries, both tied for top in the league. They also have four interceptions, which is surprisingly low for such a good team. One big thing though is that the London Royals are the only team in the league that has a safety. And if I had to choose one team that would probably have a safety I would choose London. They have 23 tackles for loss and 17 sacks, as well as ten punts inside the 20. Even though the Royals are in front in their division, anyone could make it so London has to keep winning.
#1 - Myrtle Beach Buccaneers
And the best team in the league, not really a surprise, the Myrtle Beach Buccaneers. They only have one loss, a 44-10 blowout vs the Portland Pythons in week two. The Bucs have a very explosive offensive, even though they don't score the most points (barely), they gain the most yards out of anyone. Their quarterback, rookie Jackie Daytona, is the only player with more than 1300 passing yards, as well as having eight touchdowns and only two interceptions, the least of anyone with more than 1100 yards. The rush game for Myrtle Beach is also strong, adding another 1100 yards and eight touchdowns to the offense.
Their defense gives up a little more than 15 points per game, which is fourth in the league, but because of their great offense it doesn't really matter. One thing the defense is particularly good as is forcing turnovers. They have seven interceptions, the most in the league, and six fumbles recoveries, tied for first. They also have the most pass defended out of anyone. The one bad area of their defense is the line. They only have six sacks, barely half of what everyone else has. The special teams also helps out the Bucs, as they have two blocked punts, as well as the highest average yards per punt (46.9 yards) and the longest punt (71 yards). At this point, Myrtle Beach is already basically a lock for the playoffs, unless one of the two 1 win teams wins out, which just isn't going to happen.
Also Myrtle Beach didn't get a fun nickname because you can't be better than perfect c:
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