The Farley Boys
A series of short stories following the antics of two brothers, Cheese Farley and Beer Farley; as they go around the state of Wisconsin solving mysteries.
Book 1: The Sausage Eater
Part 1
Cheese woke up with a start. He had been having that dream again, the dream that he's been trying to ignore. The dream that has been haunting his thoughts for the past several months.
'Come downstairs boys!' came the call from Cheese's mother. Cheese climbed out of bed and put on his pj's, having gone to bed only in his underwear. A curious thing, his underwear. It's green and gold with the slogan 'property of Aaron Rodgers' plastered across the back.
Cheese went downstairs, his twin brother Beer was already sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal.
'You look don't look so Gouda' Beer said with a smirk. Cheese just rolled his eyes. Beer always liked to make puns at Cheese's expense.
'Didn't sleep well, also frig off.'
Beer laughed at that retort and went back to eating his breakfast. The two boys could not be more different. While both went to the same college, Beer got into UW on an academic scholarship while Cheese got in on a football scholarship. Beer graduated this spring with majors in both investigative journalism and engineering while Cheese mostly just went to school to play football. It payed off for Cheese though, as he's been signed by the DSFL Tijuana Luchadores to play in the upcoming season this fall, whereas Beer is having some trouble finding work due to the recession and pandemic.
Cheese gave Beer a once over. Beer had really grown the past few years since highschool. Once a tall and skinny kid, he's fermented into quite the lumberjack of a guy. Where Cheese is rotund Beer is slim, but the strength of the two young men were both readily apparent to anyone. The brothers made a promise to themselves that they will spend this summer having fun and goofing off before their adult lives inevitably get in the way.
Cheese walked over to the fridge. While Beer might be content with a bowl of cereal (no doubt some sort of home remedy for a hangover cure), Cheese needs something of more substance. He grabbed a brick of muenster and then reached for the summer sausage. However right as he grabbed the sausage, he froze.
Sausage.
There it was again... the object of his dreams. The thing that has been tormenting him for months. Cheese pushed it out off his mind with a scoff and started in on his breakfast.
'Can't you at least slice those up?' Cheese's mother said, looking at him taking bites out of the cheese and sausage with a look of disgust.
'Then he'd have to wash the knife and cutting board!' Beer exclaimed with a laugh.
Cheese looked sheepish. 'Sorry ma.'
Their mother sighed and looked the boys over. 'So what are you two going to do today? You could always go help your dad down at the creamery!'
The boys groaned. Their dad is a cheesemaker from a long line of cheesemakers, and their maternal grandfather owns a brewery. Between their father and grandfather, they've been dealing with the constant pleas to join in the family business since they were kids.
'Sorry ma, we've got places to be, things to do.' With that, the brothers made a very hasty retreat.
Practically running out the front door, they made for Cheese's jeep. Nicknamed 'Da Bus', it in no way nor form resembles a bus as it's a 92 jeep wrangler decked out in green and gold. Cheese and Beer hopped in the front seats and headed for the Casey's down the road to fill up on gas.
'Did you hear about what happened to the Anderson's?' Beer asked, not looking up from his phone. 'Apparently some of their cows have gone missing and nobody knows where they've gone.'
'Probably just old man Anderson forgetting to shut the barn door again, my buddy Jimmy used to milk for him and he said the guy was always forgetful.' Cheese replied as he turned into the gas station.
Upon seeing them pull in, an older man came walking towards the jeep. 'Hey there boys! How're ya now?!' he asked.
'Hey there Mr. Swenson, not so bad! How are you doin there guy? Tell the missus I says hi!' Cheese responded as Beer fiddled with the gas pump.
'Oh I'm doing good, or at least I was. Somebody stole my Packer flag right off the flag pole in the middle of the night. Damn thing's been there for 30 years now. Can't believe someone would just steal personal property like that. Probably a Vikings fan.' Mr. Swenson stated, sighing.
Beer had finished with the pump and was now listening in. 'Mind if we take a look around Swenson? Maybe we could find something out. Looking for something to do.'
'Well that would be very nice of you two, but shouldn't you be helping your dad out at the creamery? From what he was telling me they've got a real nice batch of curds that need packing and I'm sure he'd love to have you-'
'No no that's okay, we'll see him later on. We'll go run by your farm and see if we can't find something.' Beer said, cutting Mr. Swenson off before he could finish his thought.
'Well alright, Mrs. Swenson and the girls are out for the day so feel free to poke around. Just be careful, I've been hearing rumors that there's someone running around stealing cows. You just don't steal a man's cow. You just don't.' Mr. Swenson said sadly, wiping a tear from his eye. Beer and Cheese looked equally distressed, staring down at the ground for a moment before wishing Mr. Anderson a good day. Beer put the gas hose back and closed the gas cap. Waving goodbye, the brothers headed towards the Swenson farm.
Code:
1000 words