The offseason. Usually a pretty boring time of the year. There aren't any games, no predictions, not much tpe to be earned, it makes sense. One thing that does take place is free agency. Usually, free agency is about as boring as everything else in the offseason. Nobody really changes teams, because there isn't really a reason to. It's pretty easy to make money in this league, so not many people really need to go looking for a big contract come free agency. Also, most people are loyal to their teams. This might be good for the teams, but it doesn't really make for many juicy moves, since most people just go back to their team for a minimum or very small contract.
But not anymore!
I, Joseph Petrongolo, am inviting you, a free agent this offseason, to come bring your strengths to the Berlin Fire Salamanders. If you are currently not a free agent, stop reading, no tamper. If you're a grader who has to read this (or at least get the word count), just stop reading and give me $35M. Please. I need equipment. If this paragraph hasn't already convinced you to stop negotiating with every other team interested in you and immediately move to Berlin in real life, I'll break it down into three reasons why you should.
The first reason, and most important, is that we have a fun locker room. We have active members of the community, like Joefish, and other people that I'm not gonna mention because I don't want to get yelled at for forgetting someone. We have a pretty great graphics department too, so you can get all the sigs you want, just join our team and ask. Or don't join our team and ask for a sig. but preferably join, that would be very cash money of you. We are an open locker room, which means you can fact tcheck this yourself by joining and talking, then multiply the amount of talking in the general chat by three. We also have discord bots that make the locker room even more enjoyable, if that's possible. We have rpg bot, for all your rpg needs. We have counting bot, if you don't mess it up on purpose. We have fishing bot, which I had never heard of before joining Berlin, but is surprisingly fun. All these awesome bots and more await you in Germany. And, if we don't have a bot that you'd like to see in the server, you can ask for it to be added, and it probably will be. pls join they're holding me hostage
Another awesome reason why you should join Berlin is because it is a good team! Now, I know what you're thinking "Good? The Fire Salamanders literally went like 3-27358582735 last season how can they be good?" Well my friend, let me answer that for you. Right now, Berlin has the second youngest team in the International Simulation Football League. Their average player is season 22.9. They don't have anybody retiring this offseason. This means that legally, they can only get better. And, if you join, we'll be even better! Just picture it: you, someone who currently doesn't have a team, winning the Ultimus trophy with one of the newest and most cool teams in the league, the Berlin Fire Salamanders. if you don't join they said they'll trade me to Baltimore
And the final reason, which is still important, why you should come to Berlin is: We want you! Are you tired of being ignored in your team? Are you tired of getting yelled at for being annoying? Don't worry I'm annoying too, you can be annoying with me. And we won't ignore you. Do you have a question? A suggestion? Just want to talk? Do it in Berlin. It'll always be better in Berlin. i haven't eaten in a week
I want you, no, need you, to want to join Berlin. Now, leave your team because Berlin is the best. They don't want you? Don't appreciate you? We like you. Ask for me and I will help you just like Danny King. You're a king to us. Berlin has cool. You'll be taken now. Joefish is over and out. every 4th word.
But not anymore!
I, Joseph Petrongolo, am inviting you, a free agent this offseason, to come bring your strengths to the Berlin Fire Salamanders. If you are currently not a free agent, stop reading, no tamper. If you're a grader who has to read this (or at least get the word count), just stop reading and give me $35M. Please. I need equipment. If this paragraph hasn't already convinced you to stop negotiating with every other team interested in you and immediately move to Berlin in real life, I'll break it down into three reasons why you should.
The first reason, and most important, is that we have a fun locker room. We have active members of the community, like Joefish, and other people that I'm not gonna mention because I don't want to get yelled at for forgetting someone. We have a pretty great graphics department too, so you can get all the sigs you want, just join our team and ask. Or don't join our team and ask for a sig. but preferably join, that would be very cash money of you. We are an open locker room, which means you can fact tcheck this yourself by joining and talking, then multiply the amount of talking in the general chat by three. We also have discord bots that make the locker room even more enjoyable, if that's possible. We have rpg bot, for all your rpg needs. We have counting bot, if you don't mess it up on purpose. We have fishing bot, which I had never heard of before joining Berlin, but is surprisingly fun. All these awesome bots and more await you in Germany. And, if we don't have a bot that you'd like to see in the server, you can ask for it to be added, and it probably will be. pls join they're holding me hostage
Another awesome reason why you should join Berlin is because it is a good team! Now, I know what you're thinking "Good? The Fire Salamanders literally went like 3-27358582735 last season how can they be good?" Well my friend, let me answer that for you. Right now, Berlin has the second youngest team in the International Simulation Football League. Their average player is season 22.9. They don't have anybody retiring this offseason. This means that legally, they can only get better. And, if you join, we'll be even better! Just picture it: you, someone who currently doesn't have a team, winning the Ultimus trophy with one of the newest and most cool teams in the league, the Berlin Fire Salamanders. if you don't join they said they'll trade me to Baltimore
And the final reason, which is still important, why you should come to Berlin is: We want you! Are you tired of being ignored in your team? Are you tired of getting yelled at for being annoying? Don't worry I'm annoying too, you can be annoying with me. And we won't ignore you. Do you have a question? A suggestion? Just want to talk? Do it in Berlin. It'll always be better in Berlin. i haven't eaten in a week
I want you, no, need you, to want to join Berlin. Now, leave your team because Berlin is the best. They don't want you? Don't appreciate you? We like you. Ask for me and I will help you just like Danny King. You're a king to us. Berlin has cool. You'll be taken now. Joefish is over and out. every 4th word.
gib tpe