*The following is strickly in character*
Well, let me tell you something here brother the DSFL draft has come and gone, and to say that I'm disappointed in where I was drafted is a complete understatement. there is absolutely no way on God's green earth should I have gone 13th overall in the second round there was no better prospect coming into this draft than me. Not only was I the best defensive tackle available in the draft and granted I was drafted as the top defensive tackle in the draft but I was the best defensive player in the draft I've got the highest upside and in fact, I was the best player in the draft but there were 12 other mistakes taken in front of me.
First of all, I just like to thank the London Royals for selecting me. It may have been the second pick they made during the draft but they at least saw the talent and we're willing to trade back up into the second round to get me. sure I think they made a mistake by taking Duke cheeks at 7 I think I would have been a better pick in fact I don't think that, I know that I know I would be a better pick but hey they fix their mistake by coming back and getting me a 13.
Now, this was going to be the point where I was going to talk shit about every single solitary player that was drafted in front of me but I don't think I'll do that because honestly, it's not their fault that they were drafted in front of me no instead I'm going to go and call out every single team that didn't pick me in the draft that had plenty of opportunities and the only one smart enough to do so traded back up to get me every team could have done that they could have given up a couple of picks, later on, to come get this beef stud but they decided not to so now I'm just going to start by saying back to the other seven teams that decided not to pick Fergus Callaghan Jr I'm going to make it my one solitary goal and that is to make your lives a miserable living hell for the entirety of my DSFL stint.
I guess to make this easy we'll just go down the list of teams that didn't pick me in the order in which they screwed up. so the first team will be the Norfolk SeaWolves who ended up drafting some safety with a stupid ass name. I would like to personally thank you guys for not drafting me because if you have the first pick in the draft that probably means you're dogshit and I don't know about the rest of the league but I'm here to win Rings. yes, this might be the developmental League, this might be the minor leagues as they call it but it doesn't matter what league it is when all I want is a handful of rings and I don't care where I get them. Rings are rings in my opinion and in my opinion, you guys probably won't have a chance to win a ring while I'm in the DSFL.
All right next up we've got the Dallas birddogs you know honestly I would have been okay with going with them kind of like the colors blue and yellow they kind of reminded me of the old school Montana state colors But I don't know how I felt about coming to a team whose mascot is like the laziest animal on Earth I mean that animals only job on Earth is to retrieve something that's already dead. plus I think the biggest drawback is I was hearing from other prospects and from people that had been scouted by them before and I guess they were asked a question about whether they were attracted to their mothers and man it’s maybe the weirdest question that I could have been asked and I'm kind of glad that it wasn't asked to me because I basically would have told the team the fuck themselves at that point. I mean it's whatever year it is now man and if you want to be sexually attracted to your mom that's fine but like keep that away from me I'm not about that roll Tide shit.
Next up on the hit are the Kansas City coyotes they decided that their defense was I guess good enough so they ended up taking a wide receiver instead of me which is whatever I mean honestly I grew up on the east coast and then whenever I've been in Massachusetts have been up in Montana so I really don't know a whole lot of Kansas City outside of the fact they probably have the best barbecue in the world but don't get me wrong I love BBQ but It's not a big enough reason for me to want to come to your team plus I look back on your recent history and outside of one year where you went nine and five you’ve basically been 500 and I don't know about you I like winning I don't want to come here and just screw around for two three four seasons I want to come in make an impact make my draft stock as high as possible and I just don't feel I can do that with Kansas City nobody's going to take me seriously if I'm the best player on a mediocre team. once again, thank you for not drafting me and basically wasting your pick on a wide receiver.
The 4th pick ended up going to the Portland Pythons who appear to have recently changed their logo probably because they were no good and they thought that maybe changing your logo like the Denver Broncos did would help you bring success but all the logo changes in the world can't save you if you don't draft well and honestly you guys really fucked up by not drafting me. Plus I don't think I would feel good about playing for a team that has a snake biting into I mean I know the football but honestly, it looks like you're taking a bite into a big pile of shit and I don't mean that figuratively I mean it literally looks like shit. Plus I had a friend of mine from way back that played for you and he basically told me to avoid Portland if at all possible.
Now the 5th pick Ended up belonging to the Minnesota grey ducks and honestly, I'm really surprised I didn't go here. Their defensive line position group is basically a Barren Wasteland of wasted talent and basic non-existence. The team really only has one defensive lineman to speak of and that's a defensive end named Makoto Otawara. They ended up ranking last in the conference in run defense and we're sixth out of eight teams in the entire league and they ended up deciding to take a wide receiver instead of someone who could come in day 1 and help sure up their piss poor excuse of a run defense. I mean if you guys want to have a screen door defensive line then fine by me I guess I'm glad you guys didn't pick me because it's clear that whoever is drafting doesn't know their ass from a hole in the wall. Hell, I think the only decision you made that made any sense was doing the right thing and trading away your second-round pick to London so they could take me so they can have a good defense.
This next team is very interesting to me because I was technically on their roster when I finally got the call that I was given a shot at playing professional football they were the team that decided to pick me up off of waivers at the trade deadline and I'm going to go ahead and say that they had at the 6th pick a chance to kind of right the wrong that they did to me. What the Buccaneers did was pick me up at the deadline and then I never play me. Now what they could have done to fix the situation was they could have drafted me with the 6th overall pick and then said hey we really screwed this one up. if we'd played you we probably would have beaten Tijuana and then we would have been playing for a championship instead we ended up losing in the conference Championship Game and that pretty much put the nail in the coffin for them. during the whole draft process I'm sitting here thinking to myself this team picked you up they must have seen something in you and then I had to ride the bench the whole rest of the season I wasn't able to go out and get the valuable experience I wasn't able to go out and hit and get a feel for the game again instead I'm left sitting on the bench next to the punter and kicker feeling like a second-class citizen for a team that supposedly wanted me on their roster. Thanks, Buccaneers all you have done is light a fire under my ass, and when it comes time for London to play against you I'm going to make you guys pay just a little bit more every time I hit when you're running backs in the backfield every time I drag your quarterback to the turf I want you to remember my name and know that the sole reason I am doing this to your team is that you made me do it to your team.
Alright so here's the weird part for me here it is the next pick is the 7th pick and that was to the London Royals. Now typically with the way the rest of this thing has been going this is where I would talk shit about a team that didn't take me but well in the second round they traded back into the second round to take me so I can't really be mad at them especially since they're the only ones that seem to see anything in me and even had to make a special move to get back into the second round to take me in case I wasn't there to pick later so I mean honestly I can't say anything bad about London that's the team I'm on and they're the ones going to give me a chance to be a badass.
The eighth pick ended up going to the Tijuana luchadores and honestly, I think they got a cool name I mean as someone who has grown up around the wrestling business I think that's a pretty awesome name to have. Now I've heard from other people that the locker room is literally cancer so I guess I'm glad I was able to avoid that and I don't think they deserved to win the championship last year I mean the team that's was barely 500 on the road during the regular season and yet somehow ended up winning out on the road and won the championship. my only thoughts are you guys had to have been paying someone off to make that happen because it just doesn't happen at all. Now I've heard about how no one is basically allowed in the Tijuana locker room unless they've been drafted by them and I've heard some people say that they're running a cult there. one of my favorite movies I watched growing up was From Dusk Till Dawn so now I'm thinking maybe you guys have some weird vampire shit going on there that you don't want anybody else in the league knowing about and hey if that's what you guys are into, who am I to judge but kind of glad I'm not in there because I don't be turned into one of those bloodsuckers. well, I guess side I'll take that one back I would be willing to be in there with some weird vampire stuff as long as you promise that you got Selma Hayek in there unless you got her in there yeah I'm glad you guys didn't take me because I’m not about that cult shit.
There we have it I'm now at the end of the first round and well I mean I can go around and fox it again in Norfolk Dallas Kansas City in Tijuana let's be honest nobody wants to see me go around and eviscerate these teams again because my baby let's not kid ourselves it's like beating a dead horse at this point so I'm going to go in here and I'm just going to do my final wrap-up basically I put every team so far on blast and even to a point I put the team that I'm playing out on blast just because they didn't drop me in the first round but honestly at this point in my career I don't think I could be in a better place than playing for the London Royals I feel like I was destined to play for this team and I honestly was really happy that they were able to take me even if it meant giving away Something in the future to get me so my promise to London is that I'm going to go out and do absolutely everything that I can and I mean absolutely everything including playing mind games with our opponents if that means that I can help them bring a championship home to London where it belongs. so just because the draft is over, for now, doesn't mean I'm done talking shit to everyone and they better get used to it because I'd expect this probably happened on a weekly basis. After all, there's nothing I can think of better than playing mind games with someone, letting my words seep into their brains and start making them second-guess themselves start making them think that maybe they haven't done enough to prepare for me and my teammates and then when we get on the field will go out there and will bash their skulls in because we are better in every single facet of this game no one in the dsfl are better than the London Royals and we are going to go out and we are going to prove that every single week. I'm going to put this challenge out to my teammates we are going to prepare better than anyone in the league we're going to do every single thing that we can to be the better team every single week and if we do that and if we believe in each other there is absolutely no one in this league that can stop us last season they may have come up short and championship game but this season I'm not going to allow that to happen I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I bring home a dsfl season 26 championship to London.
Well, let me tell you something here brother the DSFL draft has come and gone, and to say that I'm disappointed in where I was drafted is a complete understatement. there is absolutely no way on God's green earth should I have gone 13th overall in the second round there was no better prospect coming into this draft than me. Not only was I the best defensive tackle available in the draft and granted I was drafted as the top defensive tackle in the draft but I was the best defensive player in the draft I've got the highest upside and in fact, I was the best player in the draft but there were 12 other mistakes taken in front of me.
First of all, I just like to thank the London Royals for selecting me. It may have been the second pick they made during the draft but they at least saw the talent and we're willing to trade back up into the second round to get me. sure I think they made a mistake by taking Duke cheeks at 7 I think I would have been a better pick in fact I don't think that, I know that I know I would be a better pick but hey they fix their mistake by coming back and getting me a 13.
Now, this was going to be the point where I was going to talk shit about every single solitary player that was drafted in front of me but I don't think I'll do that because honestly, it's not their fault that they were drafted in front of me no instead I'm going to go and call out every single team that didn't pick me in the draft that had plenty of opportunities and the only one smart enough to do so traded back up to get me every team could have done that they could have given up a couple of picks, later on, to come get this beef stud but they decided not to so now I'm just going to start by saying back to the other seven teams that decided not to pick Fergus Callaghan Jr I'm going to make it my one solitary goal and that is to make your lives a miserable living hell for the entirety of my DSFL stint.
I guess to make this easy we'll just go down the list of teams that didn't pick me in the order in which they screwed up. so the first team will be the Norfolk SeaWolves who ended up drafting some safety with a stupid ass name. I would like to personally thank you guys for not drafting me because if you have the first pick in the draft that probably means you're dogshit and I don't know about the rest of the league but I'm here to win Rings. yes, this might be the developmental League, this might be the minor leagues as they call it but it doesn't matter what league it is when all I want is a handful of rings and I don't care where I get them. Rings are rings in my opinion and in my opinion, you guys probably won't have a chance to win a ring while I'm in the DSFL.
All right next up we've got the Dallas birddogs you know honestly I would have been okay with going with them kind of like the colors blue and yellow they kind of reminded me of the old school Montana state colors But I don't know how I felt about coming to a team whose mascot is like the laziest animal on Earth I mean that animals only job on Earth is to retrieve something that's already dead. plus I think the biggest drawback is I was hearing from other prospects and from people that had been scouted by them before and I guess they were asked a question about whether they were attracted to their mothers and man it’s maybe the weirdest question that I could have been asked and I'm kind of glad that it wasn't asked to me because I basically would have told the team the fuck themselves at that point. I mean it's whatever year it is now man and if you want to be sexually attracted to your mom that's fine but like keep that away from me I'm not about that roll Tide shit.
Next up on the hit are the Kansas City coyotes they decided that their defense was I guess good enough so they ended up taking a wide receiver instead of me which is whatever I mean honestly I grew up on the east coast and then whenever I've been in Massachusetts have been up in Montana so I really don't know a whole lot of Kansas City outside of the fact they probably have the best barbecue in the world but don't get me wrong I love BBQ but It's not a big enough reason for me to want to come to your team plus I look back on your recent history and outside of one year where you went nine and five you’ve basically been 500 and I don't know about you I like winning I don't want to come here and just screw around for two three four seasons I want to come in make an impact make my draft stock as high as possible and I just don't feel I can do that with Kansas City nobody's going to take me seriously if I'm the best player on a mediocre team. once again, thank you for not drafting me and basically wasting your pick on a wide receiver.
The 4th pick ended up going to the Portland Pythons who appear to have recently changed their logo probably because they were no good and they thought that maybe changing your logo like the Denver Broncos did would help you bring success but all the logo changes in the world can't save you if you don't draft well and honestly you guys really fucked up by not drafting me. Plus I don't think I would feel good about playing for a team that has a snake biting into I mean I know the football but honestly, it looks like you're taking a bite into a big pile of shit and I don't mean that figuratively I mean it literally looks like shit. Plus I had a friend of mine from way back that played for you and he basically told me to avoid Portland if at all possible.
Now the 5th pick Ended up belonging to the Minnesota grey ducks and honestly, I'm really surprised I didn't go here. Their defensive line position group is basically a Barren Wasteland of wasted talent and basic non-existence. The team really only has one defensive lineman to speak of and that's a defensive end named Makoto Otawara. They ended up ranking last in the conference in run defense and we're sixth out of eight teams in the entire league and they ended up deciding to take a wide receiver instead of someone who could come in day 1 and help sure up their piss poor excuse of a run defense. I mean if you guys want to have a screen door defensive line then fine by me I guess I'm glad you guys didn't pick me because it's clear that whoever is drafting doesn't know their ass from a hole in the wall. Hell, I think the only decision you made that made any sense was doing the right thing and trading away your second-round pick to London so they could take me so they can have a good defense.
This next team is very interesting to me because I was technically on their roster when I finally got the call that I was given a shot at playing professional football they were the team that decided to pick me up off of waivers at the trade deadline and I'm going to go ahead and say that they had at the 6th pick a chance to kind of right the wrong that they did to me. What the Buccaneers did was pick me up at the deadline and then I never play me. Now what they could have done to fix the situation was they could have drafted me with the 6th overall pick and then said hey we really screwed this one up. if we'd played you we probably would have beaten Tijuana and then we would have been playing for a championship instead we ended up losing in the conference Championship Game and that pretty much put the nail in the coffin for them. during the whole draft process I'm sitting here thinking to myself this team picked you up they must have seen something in you and then I had to ride the bench the whole rest of the season I wasn't able to go out and get the valuable experience I wasn't able to go out and hit and get a feel for the game again instead I'm left sitting on the bench next to the punter and kicker feeling like a second-class citizen for a team that supposedly wanted me on their roster. Thanks, Buccaneers all you have done is light a fire under my ass, and when it comes time for London to play against you I'm going to make you guys pay just a little bit more every time I hit when you're running backs in the backfield every time I drag your quarterback to the turf I want you to remember my name and know that the sole reason I am doing this to your team is that you made me do it to your team.
Alright so here's the weird part for me here it is the next pick is the 7th pick and that was to the London Royals. Now typically with the way the rest of this thing has been going this is where I would talk shit about a team that didn't take me but well in the second round they traded back into the second round to take me so I can't really be mad at them especially since they're the only ones that seem to see anything in me and even had to make a special move to get back into the second round to take me in case I wasn't there to pick later so I mean honestly I can't say anything bad about London that's the team I'm on and they're the ones going to give me a chance to be a badass.
The eighth pick ended up going to the Tijuana luchadores and honestly, I think they got a cool name I mean as someone who has grown up around the wrestling business I think that's a pretty awesome name to have. Now I've heard from other people that the locker room is literally cancer so I guess I'm glad I was able to avoid that and I don't think they deserved to win the championship last year I mean the team that's was barely 500 on the road during the regular season and yet somehow ended up winning out on the road and won the championship. my only thoughts are you guys had to have been paying someone off to make that happen because it just doesn't happen at all. Now I've heard about how no one is basically allowed in the Tijuana locker room unless they've been drafted by them and I've heard some people say that they're running a cult there. one of my favorite movies I watched growing up was From Dusk Till Dawn so now I'm thinking maybe you guys have some weird vampire shit going on there that you don't want anybody else in the league knowing about and hey if that's what you guys are into, who am I to judge but kind of glad I'm not in there because I don't be turned into one of those bloodsuckers. well, I guess side I'll take that one back I would be willing to be in there with some weird vampire stuff as long as you promise that you got Selma Hayek in there unless you got her in there yeah I'm glad you guys didn't take me because I’m not about that cult shit.
There we have it I'm now at the end of the first round and well I mean I can go around and fox it again in Norfolk Dallas Kansas City in Tijuana let's be honest nobody wants to see me go around and eviscerate these teams again because my baby let's not kid ourselves it's like beating a dead horse at this point so I'm going to go in here and I'm just going to do my final wrap-up basically I put every team so far on blast and even to a point I put the team that I'm playing out on blast just because they didn't drop me in the first round but honestly at this point in my career I don't think I could be in a better place than playing for the London Royals I feel like I was destined to play for this team and I honestly was really happy that they were able to take me even if it meant giving away Something in the future to get me so my promise to London is that I'm going to go out and do absolutely everything that I can and I mean absolutely everything including playing mind games with our opponents if that means that I can help them bring a championship home to London where it belongs. so just because the draft is over, for now, doesn't mean I'm done talking shit to everyone and they better get used to it because I'd expect this probably happened on a weekly basis. After all, there's nothing I can think of better than playing mind games with someone, letting my words seep into their brains and start making them second-guess themselves start making them think that maybe they haven't done enough to prepare for me and my teammates and then when we get on the field will go out there and will bash their skulls in because we are better in every single facet of this game no one in the dsfl are better than the London Royals and we are going to go out and we are going to prove that every single week. I'm going to put this challenge out to my teammates we are going to prepare better than anyone in the league we're going to do every single thing that we can to be the better team every single week and if we do that and if we believe in each other there is absolutely no one in this league that can stop us last season they may have come up short and championship game but this season I'm not going to allow that to happen I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I bring home a dsfl season 26 championship to London.
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