(07-05-2021, 03:34 PM)r0tzbua Wrote: My favourite person from Quebec (next to Celine Dion) @enigmatic
(07-05-2021, 03:34 PM)r0tzbua Wrote: My favourite person from Quebec (next to Celine Dion) @enigmatic
The Berlin Fire Salamanders are the best team to ever have existed, past, present and future. In their last two games, they haven't lost. The beat the Yeti, which is definitely a pretty good team, and they beat the Hawks, which definitely isn't as good of a team. In week six, when up against the Colorado Yeti at home, they absolutely crushed them, winning by three points with a final score of 20-17. After this absolute humiliation, the Fire Salamanders traveled to Baltimore and had an easy win, crushing the Hawks by a larger margin than the Yeti game, 24-17. Prior to these two thrashings, it seemed as if Berlin would be the worst team ever to have played, since they were 0-5, losing to cakewalk teams including but not limited to Yellowknife, Chicago, and Sarasota. It's clear that this amazing turnaround is due completely because of the heroic plays of Joseph Petrongolo, who is clearly much better than Danny King. Against the Yeti, Petrongolo ran the ball for 51 yards, as well as racking up 89 receiving yards and one receiving touchdown, which put the team ahead with just about three minutes remaining in the game. Petrongolo had an equally pog performance in the Hawks game, running for 119 yards with 5.4 yards per carry, and also catching one pass from future hall of fame quarterback Nick Kaepercolin. Based on these performances, it won't be surprising when Petrongolo takes the MVP award, Offensive Player of the Year award, Performance of the Year award, Breakout Player of the Year award, and User of the Year award come awards night.
gib tpe
Giving extreme opinions is not normally in my repertoire, but I can try. I will be a pro bowler this season, and the Liberty defense will be the best in the league in two seasons. I started off the season with a huge game, recording fourteen tackles and two sacks, and I know I can have more games with stat lines like that. I’ve made my presence known in some way in every game so far. Even if I don’t get the most tackles every game, I am consistently putting up a strong average that, with some of those amazing games sprinkled in, will give me the numbers to earn a pro bowl spot. Diversifying your stats is also important to earn pro bowl votes, and with my sacks and defended passes, I am well on the way to producing a diverse resume. I only need to add interceptions to that list, which I have faith will come in time. As for my second take, the Liberty defense is young but high earning. Since Gary Goodman and Doy Fieri came over as part of Pat and Cody becoming GM’s, this adds two more very highly earning defensive players to a group of young players that consists of myself, Honky-Tonk Haywood, Tex Wrecks, and rookie Thomas Rose. If the earning trends continue in the fashion that they are, I believe we will be the top or among the best defensive teams in just two seasons.
Not even to the half way point of the season and you're already just giving the Ultimus to the Orange County Otters?!? It is already quite apparent that this season belongs to the Wraiths of Yellowknife, who are leading the league with their 6 win 1 (fluke) loss record. The Wraiths, who are undefeated in their conference, have only allowed 92 points through their 7 games so far. The closest team to that would be the Chicago Butchers, who have given up 122 points, which is still 30 points away. Their offense, which leads the league in total yards by the way, will catch up in scoring as the season progresses. But that is not an issue, as the Yellowknife Wraiths lead the league in almost ever defensive category, allowing 13.1 points per game (1st), 208.3 passing yards per game (also 1st), 106.1 rushing yards per game (2nd), and 314.4 total yards per game (oh look, 1st again). Right now you are probably looking at the greatest defense the International Simulation Football League has ever seen! With a strong core already in place, look for the Yellowknife Wraiths to start another string of Ultimus appearances starting with this season. Here's to another five year run up in the great white north!
Code: 211 Words
The Berlin Fire Salamanders have taken some heat over the past few weeks. They've already been mentioned a lot in this thread, and numerous articles have been written explaining why they are on course to be the worst defense of all time.
Now most people don't enjoy being told that they suck, and the Berlin locker room was no exception. Ever since the onslaught of armchair analysts gleefully writing off the team began after week 5's loss at home to the Wraiths, the Berlin management has been printing each article and hanging it in the locker room. This motivational technique has clearly worked on both sides of the ball. Since then, the offense has kicked it up a notch, with Kaepercolin recording 562 passing yards, 3 touchdowns and 0 turnovers versus Colorado and at Baltimore. The defense in particular was targeted hard by the critics, and they've taken the largest jump of all. They managed to hold both opponents to just 17 points apiece, showing promise versus Colorado and then completely neutralising Baltimore, who only topped 300 total yards by grace of Berlin's fast tempo. If Berlin can get through a tough next 5 weeks with just 2 losses, they'll be feeling very good about their chances of snatching a playoff spot by the end of the season.
Riding on the high of two end of season awards, Burfict would have been a fool for thinking his start in the bug league would be so slow. A tackling and sacking machine at DSFL level, Burfict has struggled a little to come to to terms with the step up in class, not to mention no longer being the star LB on the team. Averaging just over two tackles through the first seven games of the season, with zero sacks, this is new territory for the ex London Royal player.
There are two logical routes. The easy one would be to kick up a fuss, moan at the coach, force a move away. But that isnt in Burficts mentality. Instead, sources close to the player have noted that he is more determined than ever in the gym, quicker on the track, more powerful in the weight room than ever before. Hes getting bigger, faster, stronger each day. He knows the day will come, and when it does, he wants to make sure he is ready. He wants to be part of history in Arizona. More than anything. But in the meantime, there is no reason for him to purchase that extended trophy cabinet, certainly not for a few more seasons at least.
After the first 4 weeks of the DSFL, we still have a lot of questions about who will lead the league going into the playoffs, which players will put themselves in position to take home hardware at the end-of-season awards, and which team will come out on top in the Ultimini lottery championship game. There is one thing we can be 110% certain of in the DSFL though: Exo Cortal is the greatest QB in DSFL history, and London's coaching staff must be blind and stupid to be starting Charlemagne Cortez over Cortal in any of their formations.
The London Royals have run a wild, air raid attack through the first 4 weeks of DSFL action. Thanks to the resulting and league-leading 232.8 passing yards per game that they've averaged so far, they're first in the league in offensive yards per game overall as well. On his 116 attempts, Cortez has put up 830 of those yards himself, an average of 7.16 yards per attempt. London seems satisfied with his performance so far, as they've only given stud QB2 Exo Cortal 17 passing attempts through 4 weeks. You may look at the 101 yards that Cortal has produced with those 17 attempts (5.94 yards per attempt) and believe they're right to keep the ball in the hands of the veteran Cortez, especially as Cortal has completed 10% of his attempts, but it's when you look at those other stats like completion percentage, QBR, and especially the TDI ratio where it becomes clear. Cortez's Jameis Winston-esque fuck-it-chuck-it style of play has certainly found a lot of yards downfield, but his 75 QBR is paltry, and thanks mostly to a fairly poor completion percentage (54.3) and a truly terrible TDI. Cortez only has 3 TDs on the season, a number he's matched perfectly with 3 interceptions. Meanwhile, absolute chad Exo Cortal has found the endzone a godlike 5 times in his 17 passing attempts. That's a touchdown every 3.4 attempts!!!! This efficiency has put Cortal head and shoulders above the rest of the league in QBR with 120.3. It's crystal clear to me and any London observer with eyes and a brave that Exo Cortal should be the man in charge in the huddle for the Royals. If we don't see this insane error corrected soon, London will almost certainly be watching the playoffs from the sofa. |
|