Welcome back once again to the rankings where the awards don't matter and the rankings are arbitrary.
Kicking this off for Week three we are going to do....kickers
Basically I'm ranking them on Perfection > Field Goals made of attempted > distance of field goals > then extra points made of attempted. (distance seems hard to rank alongside these so I'm just gonna do my best). There were some exceptions that felt right and I will explain those decisions when we get to them.
Awards were a little tougher for this one than usual, How does one award a kicker that did as well as another? Luckily my awards mean nothing because I am no kicking expert, I'm just a backup DE. You may need to read between the lines a bit for some of them. Feedback on rankings decisions is always appreciated just make sure you follow a formal process in the... I'm just kidding ONTO THE RANKINGS.
KICKERS
Kicking this off for Week three we are going to do....kickers
Basically I'm ranking them on Perfection > Field Goals made of attempted > distance of field goals > then extra points made of attempted. (distance seems hard to rank alongside these so I'm just gonna do my best). There were some exceptions that felt right and I will explain those decisions when we get to them.
Awards were a little tougher for this one than usual, How does one award a kicker that did as well as another? Luckily my awards mean nothing because I am no kicking expert, I'm just a backup DE. You may need to read between the lines a bit for some of them. Feedback on rankings decisions is always appreciated just make sure you follow a formal process in the... I'm just kidding ONTO THE RANKINGS.
KICKERS
- Pseudo QB - 1/1 Extra Points made, Field goals (2/2 20-29 Yarder, 2/2 30-39 Yarder, 1/1 40-49 Yarder)
Pseudo hit everything they were asked to, having made all 5 of their field goal attempts. Pseudo was responsible for most of the 22 points scored by the Copperheads with the exception of a 4th quarter touchdown, Giving the Copperheads a victory over the Wraiths. Easy to rank them first here.
I award you with the "Legatron" Award.
- Karmichael Hunt - 3/3 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 30-39 Yarder, 2/2 40-49 Yarder)
Hunt comes in second here due to the distance of their kicks compared to the other Kickers who made 3 field goals. Having put 10 points on the board for the FireSalamanders in a tough loss to the Butchers.
I award you with the "Ol' Trusty" Award.
- Jacob Small - 4/4 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 20-29 Yarder, 1/1 30-39 Yarder, 1/1 40-49 Yarder)
Coming in third here Small made everything that was asked of them, only falling short of second place due to the distance of their kicks. Small accounted for 13 Points in a blowout victory over the Liberty.
I award you with the "Yacht Rock" Award.
- Dougie Smalls - 0/0 Extra Points made, Field goals (3/3 20-29 Yarder)
Coming in fourth is Dougie Smalls, who was responsible for all of the 9 points the Silverbacks scored in a really ugly loss to the SaberCats. Having tried their best despite no other opportunities to score.
I award you with the "I put the team on my back doe" Award.
- Silver Banana - 4/4 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 20-29 Yarder, 1/1 30-39 Yarder)
Silver Banana comes in fifth having done everything the Yeti asked them to in a solid victory over the Struggling Baltimore Hawks. Accounting for 10 of the 34 points.
I award you with the "Your name would be a lot cooler if you were a SilverBack" Award.
- J.J. “Jay” Jay-Jaymison - 3/3 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 <20 Yarder, 1/1 40-49 Yarder)
Jay did everything that was asked of them in a really tough loss by 3 points in a matchup against the Second Line. So for that they are ranked 6.
I award you with the "Stable Jaybles" Award.
- Blago Kokot - 2/2 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 50+ Yarder)
Kokot made the longest field goal on this list and did everything that was asked of them. Unfortunately it wasn't enough in the 5 point loss the Wraiths suffered at the hands of the CopperHeads (whose offense basically was their kicker).
I award you with the "Sharpshooter" Award.
- Alex Dasistwirklichseinnachname - 4/4 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 40-49 Yarder)
Coming in tied for eighth is Dasistwirklichseinnachname. Who scored 7 points in the Otters blowout over the Hahalua.
I award you with the "You're one spot up cause the Alphabet" Award.
- Sam Sidekick - 4/4 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 40-49 Yarder)
Sidekick scored 7 Points in their extremely tight victory over the Fire Salamanders, if they had missed any of these then the game could have gone to the Fire Salamanders. Technically you are tied for either but trying to do that completely destroys my formatting so like...Blame the alphabet.
I award you with the "The alphabet fucked you" Award.
- Matthew McDairmid - 2/2 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 30-39 Yarder)
Coming in tenth just due to what was asked of you isn't a bad thing. McDairmid helped win a game against the Silverbacks and handed them the first loss of the season.
I award you with the "You did your job!" Award.
- Jake Fencik - 1/1 Extra Points made, Field goals (No Field Goals Attempted)
Coming in 11th because they scored only an extra point isn't the worst. Fencik made the only attempt they were giving in a game where the liberty struggled for scoring opportunities, which ended up being a beating pretty much every quarter.
I award you with the "You had to watch the ship sink" Award.
- Datsum PhastBawls - 1/1 Extra Points made, Field goals (2/3 40-49 Yarder)
It was a hard decision to Rank PhastBawls here because of the distance of their field goals. But above and beyond a kickers job is to make what is asked of them and unfortunately PhastBawls couldn't pull it off. Fortunately it wasn't only 3 points they lost to the Yeti by so I'm sure no fans are sending any death threats.
I award you with the "You got Robbed" Award.
- Venus Powers - 2/2 Extra Points made, Field goals (0/1 50+ Yarder)
I don't feel very good about having to put powers at the bottom here because everyone knows 50+ yard field goals are very difficult to hit. But in a blowout loss to the Otters the 3 points didn't really matter in the long run.
I award you with the "Tough Shake" Award.
- Lefty Louis - 3/4 Extra Points made, Field goals (1/1 30-39 Yarder)
Can't say much here outside of you missed an extra point, luckily it was basically free points off of a pick six and Second Line won this game by 3
I award you with the "You play for a purple team but its not the Vikings" Award.