[1053 words, 2x media, $3,488,340 payout]
This is the first entry on The Player's Tribune in an ongoing series following sportswoman Madison Hayes through her journey into the realm of professional American football. To read her first entry in the series, “The Next Chapter”, click here.
There’s a crunching impact as I hit the ground, linebacker fully driving through the tackle as I feel the wind leave my lungs. I hold the ball tight until I hear the whistle blow, and the linebacker with 25 or 30 kilos on me pushes himself off me laughing. Wasrabi Gleel holds his hand out to me and pulls me up, as I hear Coach C’s voice behind me. “Hard to be a slippery bitch in between the tackles, isn’t it Hayes?” He wasn’t wrong in the slightest though, and the size difference is something I am still struggling with halfway through the season. Not being far and away the most athletic person on the field has taken some getting used to. “You’re not gonna be able to dance every defender Mad Dog, stay humble and get your 4 yards.”
It’s been a rough transition to the DSFL from sprints and rugby, brutal at times. Going from one of the taller girls on the pitch to smaller than average is a shock that my mind still is getting used to, and the pads are cumbersome - even if they do help absorb the hits. Coach is right though, this isn’t a Roses practice, and I can’t get away with the fancier moves that I once could. I sigh, get back in position behind Negs, and try to get my mindset right. “Out run them if you can, run behind the pads if you can’t” I tell myself.
“Nature vs nurture” is a common entry level psychology topic, and for good reason. People are products of their environment, and athletes are no different really. My parents met at Cambridge in a chemistry lecture, and stayed at the school to do PhDs. By the time I was born, Eliza Fraser had become Dr. Eliza Hayes, professor of biochemistry and wife of Dr. Matthew Hayes, professor of organic chemistry. It’s safe to say I didn’t have a “normal” upbringing for anyone, let alone an athlete.
I tore through the early educational programs, constantly encouraged to ask questions and expand my knowledge, but two questions appeared for every one I found an answer to. Both my parents were keen to remind me that there would always be things unknown, even to them as researchers. They wouldn’t know deeper concepts in other subjects and there would always be more to learn on their own, and that humility was passed down to me. As much knowledge as I gathered, there would always be things I didn’t understand.
My parents took terms off from teaching to make sure I could attend Waldegrave when I turned 11, and that was where the athletics side took off. I wasn’t interested in playing football or anything outside at the time, but In my second year I started winning races in PE, and the margins kept getting bigger - even over the boys - as the months went on. My PE teacher got me working with a coach to practice for the Schools' Athletics Championships as well as on a girls club rugby union team and over the course of a single school term I went from a bookworm who never had played a sport to one of the school’s well known athletes.
It was a weird transition, and I did my best to stay humble, but the push I had to learn more also became a push to do more - to be faster, stronger, and win more. I started training at higher and higher levels, and as I looked to begin my own studies back at Cambridge I was trying to earn a spot on the roster while training with the Red Roses and working with the Olympic hopefuls training under the supervision of one of the Team GB coaches, Sara Wagner. Suddenly I started having people recognize me on the street and my name was showing up in news articles. It’s hard to be humble but competitive at the same time, you need to have that edge and that drive which often comes from thinking so highly of yourself and your ability at times. You need to keep that mentality to stay at the top of your game as well. I’ve tried to balance that edge, both humble to think that I need to always improve and arrogant to think that I’m capable of making any play and that I’m the best out there. It’s a hard line to balance though and - although it’s the right one for the situation - I usually end up on one side or the other.
That has all had to change since coming over to America though. I’m not notably faster or stronger than my peers or my competition, and the confidence has to be adjusted. I can’t run around people as much, and I can’t break as many tackles as before. The sport I’m playing is different, and it’s been a journey just to recognize which bits of conventional knowledge even apply from playing rugby.
I’ve had intermittent success, and so has the team this season. I’ve heard the comparisons to Marcella Tōriki as I declared for the draft and I tried to focus on learning football with Minnesota. I heard the doubts in my ability as I didn’t take over the games at the start of the season, but tried to put my head down and keep grinding. And I’ve heard the hype building now, as people bring up being near the top of the league in scrimmage yards, being a favorite for Rookie of the Year, having the performance of the season, and likely being a top ISFL draft pick.
That’s not the focus now though, and I can’t let my mind wander. None of us in Minnesota can. We need help to make the playoffs, but we still have to do our part. Noone here wants to be done in two weeks, and similar words are ringing through everyone’s minds as we wait for Kansas City to get here in two days.
Take the 4 yards.
Do your job.
Stay humble.
This is the first entry on The Player's Tribune in an ongoing series following sportswoman Madison Hayes through her journey into the realm of professional American football. To read her first entry in the series, “The Next Chapter”, click here.
There’s a crunching impact as I hit the ground, linebacker fully driving through the tackle as I feel the wind leave my lungs. I hold the ball tight until I hear the whistle blow, and the linebacker with 25 or 30 kilos on me pushes himself off me laughing. Wasrabi Gleel holds his hand out to me and pulls me up, as I hear Coach C’s voice behind me. “Hard to be a slippery bitch in between the tackles, isn’t it Hayes?” He wasn’t wrong in the slightest though, and the size difference is something I am still struggling with halfway through the season. Not being far and away the most athletic person on the field has taken some getting used to. “You’re not gonna be able to dance every defender Mad Dog, stay humble and get your 4 yards.”
It’s been a rough transition to the DSFL from sprints and rugby, brutal at times. Going from one of the taller girls on the pitch to smaller than average is a shock that my mind still is getting used to, and the pads are cumbersome - even if they do help absorb the hits. Coach is right though, this isn’t a Roses practice, and I can’t get away with the fancier moves that I once could. I sigh, get back in position behind Negs, and try to get my mindset right. “Out run them if you can, run behind the pads if you can’t” I tell myself.
“Nature vs nurture” is a common entry level psychology topic, and for good reason. People are products of their environment, and athletes are no different really. My parents met at Cambridge in a chemistry lecture, and stayed at the school to do PhDs. By the time I was born, Eliza Fraser had become Dr. Eliza Hayes, professor of biochemistry and wife of Dr. Matthew Hayes, professor of organic chemistry. It’s safe to say I didn’t have a “normal” upbringing for anyone, let alone an athlete.
I tore through the early educational programs, constantly encouraged to ask questions and expand my knowledge, but two questions appeared for every one I found an answer to. Both my parents were keen to remind me that there would always be things unknown, even to them as researchers. They wouldn’t know deeper concepts in other subjects and there would always be more to learn on their own, and that humility was passed down to me. As much knowledge as I gathered, there would always be things I didn’t understand.
My parents took terms off from teaching to make sure I could attend Waldegrave when I turned 11, and that was where the athletics side took off. I wasn’t interested in playing football or anything outside at the time, but In my second year I started winning races in PE, and the margins kept getting bigger - even over the boys - as the months went on. My PE teacher got me working with a coach to practice for the Schools' Athletics Championships as well as on a girls club rugby union team and over the course of a single school term I went from a bookworm who never had played a sport to one of the school’s well known athletes.
It was a weird transition, and I did my best to stay humble, but the push I had to learn more also became a push to do more - to be faster, stronger, and win more. I started training at higher and higher levels, and as I looked to begin my own studies back at Cambridge I was trying to earn a spot on the roster while training with the Red Roses and working with the Olympic hopefuls training under the supervision of one of the Team GB coaches, Sara Wagner. Suddenly I started having people recognize me on the street and my name was showing up in news articles. It’s hard to be humble but competitive at the same time, you need to have that edge and that drive which often comes from thinking so highly of yourself and your ability at times. You need to keep that mentality to stay at the top of your game as well. I’ve tried to balance that edge, both humble to think that I need to always improve and arrogant to think that I’m capable of making any play and that I’m the best out there. It’s a hard line to balance though and - although it’s the right one for the situation - I usually end up on one side or the other.
That has all had to change since coming over to America though. I’m not notably faster or stronger than my peers or my competition, and the confidence has to be adjusted. I can’t run around people as much, and I can’t break as many tackles as before. The sport I’m playing is different, and it’s been a journey just to recognize which bits of conventional knowledge even apply from playing rugby.
I’ve had intermittent success, and so has the team this season. I’ve heard the comparisons to Marcella Tōriki as I declared for the draft and I tried to focus on learning football with Minnesota. I heard the doubts in my ability as I didn’t take over the games at the start of the season, but tried to put my head down and keep grinding. And I’ve heard the hype building now, as people bring up being near the top of the league in scrimmage yards, being a favorite for Rookie of the Year, having the performance of the season, and likely being a top ISFL draft pick.
That’s not the focus now though, and I can’t let my mind wander. None of us in Minnesota can. We need help to make the playoffs, but we still have to do our part. Noone here wants to be done in two weeks, and similar words are ringing through everyone’s minds as we wait for Kansas City to get here in two days.
Take the 4 yards.
Do your job.
Stay humble.
See you soon,
Madison Hayes