01-11-2021, 12:28 PM
(This post was last modified: 01-11-2021, 12:36 PM by thevoicelesscreator.)
Standard Contract between Melvin Murder-Moose (player) and the Colorado Yeti (team)
International Simulation Football League
This contract is between Melvin Murder-Moose, hereinafter “Player” and the ISFL Team the Colorado Yeti, hereinafter “Team”. In consideration of the promises made to each other the Player and the Team agree as follows:
1. TERM. This contract length covers 9 seasons in the ISFL and will begin during the Season 27 schedule. This contract will end at the conclusion of the Season 35 ISFL Ultimus, unless extended, terminated, or renewed.
2. EMPLOYMENT AND SERVICES: The team employs Player as a skilled Linebacker. The player accepts this employment and agrees to give his best effort. This includes player’s Agent’s (User SchwarzNarr) participation within the locker room, attempting point tasks and Training Points Earned, hereinafter “TPE”, activities, and making a good faith effort to remain active within the league. Additionally, the player will seek confirmation or assistance in the application of TPE toward skills. Furthermore, the player will attend training camps, and generate enough media, graphics, or work within the League to pay for weekly training. The player will not participate in any football games that are not sponsored by the ISFL and simulation, unless the game is first approved by the team.
3. OTHER ACTIVITIES. Without the written prior consent of the team, the player will not engage in additional football activities or activities that involve a significant risk of personal injury. The player represents that he has a special, exceptional skill, knowledge, and ability as a strongside linebacker, and the loss of which the team cannot replace with any ease. Therefore, if the player knowingly assumes the risk without the prior written consent of the team, the player agrees to compensate fairly for any damages the team may incur. The player also agrees that the team has the right to prevent the player from engaging in any activities that can present a risk for personal injury or a risk to the welfare of the team.
4. PUBLICITY AND MEDIA. The player acknowledges that all media must portray the team in a positive light and any issues, personal conflicts, and other negative portrayals will be met with a punishment. Punishment shall be defined as a frowning emoji and a slap on the wrist. Additionally, the player allows the team to use his likeness, description, and biographical information in all current and future media and graphics programs. The team and the player agree that all uses of his personal information shall be notified prior to release, and if the player's information features heavily within the media article, that the player shall be compensated fairly. If his likeness, biographical information, or images are used in consultation with official ISFL media projects (re: the draft), then the player will not be compensated. The player retains certain rights to use his images, biographical information, and likeness in media of his own choosing in the future. The player will cooperate with the news media, and will participate upon request in reasonable activities to promote the Team and the League.
Furthermore, the Player will continue to provide media opportunities for the Team in support of the Snowcone, hereinafter, “the Mascot”. This includes written and visual representations to the best of the Player’s ability, when time permits. There will be no consequence if the Player is unable to perform these duties as laid out in this contract.
5. COMPENSATION: For the performance of the player’s services and all other promises of the player, the team will pay the player a yearly salary as follows:
$4,000,000 for the S27 Season
$4,000,000 for the S28 Season
$4,000,000 for the S29 Season
$4,000,000 for the S30 Season
$4,000,000 for the S31 Season
$4,000,000 for the S32 Season
$4,000,000 for the S33 Season
$4,000,000 for the S34 Season
$4,000,000 for the S35 Season
In addition the player and team will have the option for renegotiation or to cut the player or for the player to leave the team during the S28, S29, S30, S31, S32, S33, S34 offseasons.
The Team will pay the player such earned performance bonuses as may be called for in this contract; Player’s necessary traveling expenses from his residence to training camp; Player’s reasonable board and lodging expenses during preseason training, and in connection with playing preseason, regular season, and postseason football games out- side of Team’s home city; Player’s necessary traveling expenses to and from preseason, regular season, and postseason football games outside Club’s home city; Player’s necessary traveling expenses to his residence if this contract is terminated by Club.
Furthermore, the team shall provide the player additional compensation during award and end of season victories, or when it is deemed critical for the safety of the team. This additional payment shall consist of confectionary treats, most specifically, cake of the Player’s choosing. Failure to provide this payment shall result in untimely ends of the Team, and therefore, is inadvisable.
6. PAYMENT: Unless this contract or any other agreement provides otherwise, the player will receive 100% of his salary under this contract prior to the start of the season. Failure to do so will result in the League’s standard penalties as well as weekly moose pictures to be posted in the locker room.
7. PHYSICAL CONDITION: Player represents to Team that he is and will maintain himself in excellent physical condition. Player will undergo a complete physical examination by the Team physician upon team request, during which physical examination the Player agrees to make full and complete disclosure of any physical or mental condition known to him which might impair his performance under this contract and to respond fully and in good faith when questioned by the Team physician about such condition. If the Player fails to establish or maintain his excellent physical condition to the satisfaction of the Team physician, or make the required full and complete disclosure and good faith responses to the Team physician, then Team may terminate this contract. The Team must also supply a moose masseuse to support the Player and his potential injuries or recovery period due to playing and practices.
8. INJURY: Unless this contract specifically provides for otherwise, if Player is injured in the performance of his services under this contract and promptly reports such injury to the Team physician or trainer, then Player will receive such medical and hospital care during the term of this contract as the Team physician may deem necessary, and will continue to receive his yearly salary for so long, during the season of injury and for no subsequent period covered by this contract, as Player is physically unable to perform the services required of him by this contract because of such injury. If Player’s physical injury in the performance of his services under this contract results in the loss of his antlers, he will receive a bonus of $1m.
9. SKILL, PERFORMANCE, AND CONDUCT: The Player will be employed as the Strongside Linebacker for the Team. The Player understands that he is competing with other players for a position on Team’s roster within the applicable player limits. If at any time, in the sole judgement of Team, Player’s skill or performance has been unsatisfactory as compared with that of other players competing for positions on Team’s roster, or if Player has engaged in personal conduct reasonably judged by Team to adversely affect or reflect on the Team, then the Team may terminate this contract. Additionally, the Player may not storm out in a fit of rage from the locker room more than twice per season.
10. TERMINATION: The rights of termination set forth in this contract will be null and void. The only way you get rid of the moose is by death or using your option. Which really, would that be wise? Furthermore the player will never be allowed to be traded without the players permission (AKA No Trade Clause).
11. RULES: Player will comply with and be bound by all reasonable Team rules and regulations in effect during the term of this contract which are not inconsistent with the provisions of this contract or of any collective bargaining agreement in existence during the term of this contract. Player’s attention is also called to the fact that the League functions with certain rules and procedures expressive of its operation as a joint venture among its member teams and that these rules and practices may affect Player’s relationship to the League and its member team independently of the provisions of this contract. The Player may continue a relationship with team member IsaStarcrossed, whether they remain team members or not. If this results in the Player choosing to end this contract, it will not be punishable per league tampering rules.
12. OTHER PROVISIONS:
- The Player has an expectation of cake to be presented upon game wins, losses, or ties, as well as award ceremonies, Ultimus victory parties, and any other celebratory circumstances. As such, the Player requires cake upon demand
- The Player requires a likeness of his victory pose to be available for all to see upon request
- The Player requires accommodations nearby to his companion animal, Adelie de Pengu
- The Player requires the ability to attend all Norfolk games that can be fit into the schedule
- The Player requires that the team not laugh after he naturally sheds his antlers
- The Player’s baby picture must sit in the offices of the General Managers, the VP of Football Operations, and the Owner of the Colorado Yeti
- The Player demands legalese-type contracts for all future extensions. If the player is cut or fails to sign an extension, this clause is void. This clause can be waived by the Player
- In the likely event that Natalie Dormer is a Yeti fan, and begins attending games when reasonably safe to do so once again. The Player agrees to operate as a proper 'Antler Man' to Greedy Sly, allowing him to eventually seduce and marry Miss Dormer after an appropriately lengthened courtship.
- The Player agrees to portray one of Santa's reindeer, Rudolph when possible in the upcoming limited edition Yeti Christmas memorabilia campaign
- The Player agrees to the use of 'meese' as a suitable plural for the word 'moose' in all official twitter communication by the team
- The Player requires a specialized pink robe to wear whilst in the locker room
TL;DR for the budget team:
S27 - $4M
S28 - $4M (MO)
S29 - $4M (MO)
S30 - $4M (MO)
S31 - $4M (MO)
S32 - $4M (MO)
S33 - $4M (MO)
S34 - $4M (MO)
S35 - $4M (MO)
Provisions that matter for the purpose of potential contract violations:
*SchwarzNarr is the LB position of her choice in the depth chart for the duration of this contract
**CellyMoose must be an emoji in the locker room as long as SchwarzNarr is on the team.
***Schwarz must gib leader bby moose pic to be pinned in the War Room
****If the Yeti don’t post salary in time, weekly moose pictures must be posted in Yeti locker room
*****NTC unless waived by the player
******Tamperable by IsaStarcrossed for the duration of this contract.
*******SchwarzNarr gets a pink role in the locker room
Welcome back to a Yeti Legend well into the making, @SchwarzNarr !!