FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
HONK HONK HONKY HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK. HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK, HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HOOONK HONK. HONK HONK HONK HONK, HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK, HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK. HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK.
HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK.
TRANSLATION
I AM EXTREMELY UPSET BY THE EVENTS TRANSPIRING DURING THIS DSFL DRAFT. WHILE I UNDERSTAND MY DEMANDS ARE TOUGH, I FULLY EXPECTED FROM MY EXCELLENT PROSPECT BOWL PERFORMANCE AND COLLEGE CAREER TO BE PICKED IN THE FIRST THREE ROUNDS. I AM THEREFORE, UNTIL I GET PICKED AND HAVE TIME TO NEGOTIATE WITH MY EVENTUAL TEAM, REFUSING TO SUIT UP FOR ANY DSFL TEAM. THEIR DOUBTING OF ME SHALL BE THEIR UNDOING.
MESS WITH THE HONK YOU GET THE BONK.