First interview with Dex Kennedy
Cool graphic for a special report on a newscast or something idk
NARRATOR: It’s been five years since we last spoke with ISFL linebacker Dex Kennedy. That’s not, at all, because we lost interest in him...ok, maybe it is. But when we were approached by Kennedy’s agent to do another interview, we were very intrigued to see how Dex feels about his career up to this point. Kennedy’s agent, who sounded a lot like Dex Kennedy speaking in falsetto, requested that we bring back the man who interviewed him before the S22 ISFL Draft. That man, Lem Sportsinterviews, has been incarcerated in a Colombian prison for the last 27 months after, what he claims, was a setup that found him as the ringleader of one of the top illicit cargo import/export companies in the Americas. The illicit cargo in question, you ask: Johnny Manziel autographed 8x10s. Yeah, Johnny Football is huge in South America.
After posting bail and 3-4 months of tense negotiation with the Colombian embassy, we were able to get Lem out for enough time to interview Dex Kennedy. Why did Dex want a convicted felon to interview him? Dex is weird, that’s why. But I digress. Dex Kennedy is coming off of his 4th season with the Baltimore Hawks: a season that turned out to be his last wearing a Hawks jersey. After entertaining many suitors during his first ever stint as a free agent, Kennedy settled on a lucrative deal that saw him pair up with two of his old Hawks teammates as an Austin Copperhead. So what made Dex Kennedy want a change of scenery? What sent Dex Kennedy down south to play for the Copperheads? Is Dex satisfied with his career up to this point? Will Lem attempt to escape while nobody’s looking? Some of these questions will be answered tonight.
Even cooler transition graphic that cuts to Dex Kennedy in the weight room or running up and down bleachers or playing poker or something like that
LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: (voiceover) When I last spoke with Dexton Kennedy, he was preparing for the S22 ISFL Draft. There was very little press around him at the time and his stock was less than stellar. Limited time in the DSFL translated to Kennedy falling to the 6th round where he was taken 9th overall by the Baltimore Hawks. Yes, 6th round, 9th pick, and 69th overall. Tee-hee…very funny.
Cuts to Lem and Dex sitting opposite of each other
LS: You were not the most touted prospect heading into the S22 Draft. You, of course, fell much lower than I’m sure you desired to. Is that something you’ve kept with yourself throughout your career?
DEX KENNEDY: Absolutely. I was, for lack of a better term, passed aside. I was honestly more gratified than anything else because 5 or 6 of my teammates on the Grey Ducks went before me. Anyone who knew me at that point knew that I wanted my teammates to succeed more than myself. I was honestly just happy to hear my name called. But, as my career went on and I saw guys taken above me fall out of the league or begin to underperform, I started to use it as a huge motivator. There were teams that didn’t want me and I decided I was going to play my ass off for the team who did.
LS: It must’ve felt weird then to be one of the most sought-after free agents in the S27 offseason.
DK: I wouldn’t say ‘most sought-after’ but I had a lot of teams show interest which felt very rewarding. I knew I wasn’t the most illustrious linebacker in the league at that point and I was happy that I garnered attention over the offseason.
Cuts to Dex doing cardio or yoga or watching Seinfeld
LS: (voiceover) Dex Kennedy, despite leading the league in tackles twice in 4 seasons, has never made an ISFL Pro Bowl nor won an award. The closest he ever got was in S24 when he lost out on Linebacker of the Year to his then-teammate Derred de Ville.
Cuts back to Lem and Dex
LS: I always found it strange that you broke the all-time record for tackles in a single season, a record that still stands heading into S27, and you weren’t even in the top 3 for Linebacker of the Year in S24.
DK: Yeah, I’m still a bit upset about that one. I think it was because I broke a record that only lasted for one season. The new 16 game format meant that the record was bound to be broken so when it was broken two years in a row, the awards committee didn’t really care. But I think Derred deserved it more than anyone, definitely more than me. We were only 3-13 that season but we probably would’ve been 1-15 if it wasn’t for him.
LS: Hopefully you don’t mind me being surprised a bit to hear you be angsty about not winning an award. You shrugged off winning PAC-12 Defensive Player of the Year in college and a Pro Bowl appearance in the DSFL. Is this a new Dex Kennedy I’m talking to? One that’s more individually focused?
DK: Well at the end of the day, nothing matters more to me than how the team’s doing. But I have started to bet on myself more and more. I feel like I’ve passed aside the concept of being an elite linebacker in this league in hopes of amassing wins. But, in reality, I’ve struggled with both. So I’ve decided that I’m focusing on the inverse now. I’m going to play the absolute best football I can play and I’m gonna do it my way. If that leads to success for my team, then that’s how I’m gonna keep doing it.
LS: You mention success but, hopefully I can say this without hurting your feelings, you saw everything but while you were with the Hawks. 4 seasons without playoffs, two of which came down to the final game in hopes of a postseason appearance. As I’ve said, you made no Pro Bowls and won no awards despite what I believe was excellent play on your behalf. How would you describe your time in Baltimore?
DK: It was a learning experience, really. That lesson learned was that I can, in fact, have my heart broken time after time. But I really did love playing there. I loved being a Hawk, I loved wearing those jerseys, I loved our fans, but we fell short...a lot. I still honestly blame it on bad luck because out of all of our 50/50 games, I’d say 90% of the time the coin was flipped tails. I had some fantastic teammates there throughout the years and I got to work with some fantastic GMs as well. It wasn’t a success, I wouldn’t describe my time with Baltimore as one. But I did learn a lot of things, especially about the player I want to be.
LS: Was there any specific factor of factors that lead you to leaving?
DK: I had one year left on my contract and I felt as though I was worth more than I was being paid. There was an option on the year and I fully intended to use it. But I think the more I thought about opting out, the more I thought about playing for another team. In my four seasons with Baltimore, we went 8-8, 3-13, 8-8, and 6-10 in that order. We were losing players to free agency, trading other big names, and struggled to attract free agents. I hate saying this, I really do, but I did not see the Hawks trending upward. We were in a state of flux that was multiplied by bad luck during the season. And after four years there, I felt as though I had served my purpose. I was never intended to be a superstar player. 69th overall, while an accomplishment in its own right, is not a place where teams draft their franchise player. To be honest, I just felt as though I had nothing left owed to Baltimore. There are still parts of me that are upset about it, no question. But I had to think about my future and I believed the best business move for myself was to find a new team.
LS: …….damn. Tell us how you really feel.
Cuts to Dex doing squats or making a protein or, I don’t know, breastfeeding a baby seal
LS: (voiceover) Dex Kennedy decided to use his mutual option after S26 and became a free agent. He had many suitors, but he was ultimately swayed by the Austin Copperheads: a team that, he admits, was not his first choice.
Cuts back to Dex and Lem, who is clearly trying to struggle out of his handcuffs
DK: I was about 95% sure that I was going to sign with a certain team. A team that was, mind you, not Austin. But that was when I was contacted by Maverick Bowie who claimed we were in Baltimore together at one point. I didn’t really remember him because we never officially played together but Baltimore owned his draft rights and he had been traded to Austin before ever playing a game with the Hawks. He told me that he wanted to form a FA trio with me and another one of my old teammates, Doug Howlett. I was politely dismissive at first but the more I thought about it, the more I was entertained by the idea. And thus, the Big 3 was born. As for choosing Austin, I think they excelled at being consistent with their scouting. Maverick was also very determined to return to the Copperheads. We talked about a number of teams but I think when I got swayed by Austin, that sealed it. I really gotta commend Maverick for doing some of the finest FA recruitment in the league without even being part of a team officially.
LS: I have one more question for you: how do you feel about your career up to this point? I’m sure you wish things could’ve gone better record-wise but how do you feel about yourself as a player? And what does the future hold for Dex Kennedy?
DK: There have been plenty of times where I’ve felt on top of the world and plenty of times where I’ve felt completely humbled during my career. I think the best way to describe my career up to this point is ‘subversion of expectations.’ The seasons where we went 8-8 and nearly made the playoffs on the Hawks were seasons that I did not expect us to succeed in. Even going 6-10 last season was far beyond what I had anticipated. But, of course, the season where I believed we would be at our best was when we went 3-13. Same goes for the Grey Ducks. I had high hopes of winning a championship and celebrating with my teammates in S22. That, of course, led to us falling short to the Royals. One day I hope I can call my shot and be on the money but for now I’m just gonna play my way and hope things go well.
As for how I feel as a player, I think I’ve constantly done the best I can do to my abilities. If that doesn’t make me an award winner or a Pro Bowler, then so be it. I get a lot of tackles and not much else and that’s why people don’t take notice when I’m playing well. I don’t get a lot of PDs because the ball isn’t usually thrown my way. They don’t give the most credit to the guy who covers the best. They give it to the guy with the most picks. I know I’ve been playing well and, at this point, I don’t care who’s taking notice. You’re only ever noticed if you’re making every play or missing every play. I make the plays I can and just because I don’t have the sexiest statline doesn’t mean I’m chump change. But I’ve never played for a playoff team and I’ve never been on a #1 defense. I hope to see that change and I hope my play can impact that.
As for what’s in store for the future, I hope to be a champion at some point. The Copperheads have put a lot of work in this offseason to set us up for contention and I do hope the results show. As for individual goals, I think my window is gone to become a Hall of Famer considering I have no awards nor Pro Bowls to my name. So, I’m gonna keep doing what I’m good at: tackling. I hope to finish top 10 in tackles. That’s my current career goal, beyond winning a championship of course.
LS: Well, Dex, I gotta say, you’ve come a long way from being a 6th round pick. I’ve grown a lot of respect for you and I wish you the best in the coming season. Can I shake your hand?
DK: Of course.
Dex gets up and grabs Lem’s hand. Lem, however, pulls him in and whispers faintly into his ear
LS: ....the table has been set….
Dex pulls himself away, nods, and leaves the room. Cuts back to the original newscaster
Narrator: Well...that was ominus. Coming up, a special report on the incarceration of sports journalists in South America and how most of them won’t be missed. I’m Richard Lips, signing off.
Cool graphic for a special report on a newscast or something idk
NARRATOR: It’s been five years since we last spoke with ISFL linebacker Dex Kennedy. That’s not, at all, because we lost interest in him...ok, maybe it is. But when we were approached by Kennedy’s agent to do another interview, we were very intrigued to see how Dex feels about his career up to this point. Kennedy’s agent, who sounded a lot like Dex Kennedy speaking in falsetto, requested that we bring back the man who interviewed him before the S22 ISFL Draft. That man, Lem Sportsinterviews, has been incarcerated in a Colombian prison for the last 27 months after, what he claims, was a setup that found him as the ringleader of one of the top illicit cargo import/export companies in the Americas. The illicit cargo in question, you ask: Johnny Manziel autographed 8x10s. Yeah, Johnny Football is huge in South America.
After posting bail and 3-4 months of tense negotiation with the Colombian embassy, we were able to get Lem out for enough time to interview Dex Kennedy. Why did Dex want a convicted felon to interview him? Dex is weird, that’s why. But I digress. Dex Kennedy is coming off of his 4th season with the Baltimore Hawks: a season that turned out to be his last wearing a Hawks jersey. After entertaining many suitors during his first ever stint as a free agent, Kennedy settled on a lucrative deal that saw him pair up with two of his old Hawks teammates as an Austin Copperhead. So what made Dex Kennedy want a change of scenery? What sent Dex Kennedy down south to play for the Copperheads? Is Dex satisfied with his career up to this point? Will Lem attempt to escape while nobody’s looking? Some of these questions will be answered tonight.
Even cooler transition graphic that cuts to Dex Kennedy in the weight room or running up and down bleachers or playing poker or something like that
LEM SPORTSINTERVIEWS: (voiceover) When I last spoke with Dexton Kennedy, he was preparing for the S22 ISFL Draft. There was very little press around him at the time and his stock was less than stellar. Limited time in the DSFL translated to Kennedy falling to the 6th round where he was taken 9th overall by the Baltimore Hawks. Yes, 6th round, 9th pick, and 69th overall. Tee-hee…very funny.
Cuts to Lem and Dex sitting opposite of each other
LS: You were not the most touted prospect heading into the S22 Draft. You, of course, fell much lower than I’m sure you desired to. Is that something you’ve kept with yourself throughout your career?
DEX KENNEDY: Absolutely. I was, for lack of a better term, passed aside. I was honestly more gratified than anything else because 5 or 6 of my teammates on the Grey Ducks went before me. Anyone who knew me at that point knew that I wanted my teammates to succeed more than myself. I was honestly just happy to hear my name called. But, as my career went on and I saw guys taken above me fall out of the league or begin to underperform, I started to use it as a huge motivator. There were teams that didn’t want me and I decided I was going to play my ass off for the team who did.
LS: It must’ve felt weird then to be one of the most sought-after free agents in the S27 offseason.
DK: I wouldn’t say ‘most sought-after’ but I had a lot of teams show interest which felt very rewarding. I knew I wasn’t the most illustrious linebacker in the league at that point and I was happy that I garnered attention over the offseason.
Cuts to Dex doing cardio or yoga or watching Seinfeld
LS: (voiceover) Dex Kennedy, despite leading the league in tackles twice in 4 seasons, has never made an ISFL Pro Bowl nor won an award. The closest he ever got was in S24 when he lost out on Linebacker of the Year to his then-teammate Derred de Ville.
Cuts back to Lem and Dex
LS: I always found it strange that you broke the all-time record for tackles in a single season, a record that still stands heading into S27, and you weren’t even in the top 3 for Linebacker of the Year in S24.
DK: Yeah, I’m still a bit upset about that one. I think it was because I broke a record that only lasted for one season. The new 16 game format meant that the record was bound to be broken so when it was broken two years in a row, the awards committee didn’t really care. But I think Derred deserved it more than anyone, definitely more than me. We were only 3-13 that season but we probably would’ve been 1-15 if it wasn’t for him.
LS: Hopefully you don’t mind me being surprised a bit to hear you be angsty about not winning an award. You shrugged off winning PAC-12 Defensive Player of the Year in college and a Pro Bowl appearance in the DSFL. Is this a new Dex Kennedy I’m talking to? One that’s more individually focused?
DK: Well at the end of the day, nothing matters more to me than how the team’s doing. But I have started to bet on myself more and more. I feel like I’ve passed aside the concept of being an elite linebacker in this league in hopes of amassing wins. But, in reality, I’ve struggled with both. So I’ve decided that I’m focusing on the inverse now. I’m going to play the absolute best football I can play and I’m gonna do it my way. If that leads to success for my team, then that’s how I’m gonna keep doing it.
LS: You mention success but, hopefully I can say this without hurting your feelings, you saw everything but while you were with the Hawks. 4 seasons without playoffs, two of which came down to the final game in hopes of a postseason appearance. As I’ve said, you made no Pro Bowls and won no awards despite what I believe was excellent play on your behalf. How would you describe your time in Baltimore?
DK: It was a learning experience, really. That lesson learned was that I can, in fact, have my heart broken time after time. But I really did love playing there. I loved being a Hawk, I loved wearing those jerseys, I loved our fans, but we fell short...a lot. I still honestly blame it on bad luck because out of all of our 50/50 games, I’d say 90% of the time the coin was flipped tails. I had some fantastic teammates there throughout the years and I got to work with some fantastic GMs as well. It wasn’t a success, I wouldn’t describe my time with Baltimore as one. But I did learn a lot of things, especially about the player I want to be.
LS: Was there any specific factor of factors that lead you to leaving?
DK: I had one year left on my contract and I felt as though I was worth more than I was being paid. There was an option on the year and I fully intended to use it. But I think the more I thought about opting out, the more I thought about playing for another team. In my four seasons with Baltimore, we went 8-8, 3-13, 8-8, and 6-10 in that order. We were losing players to free agency, trading other big names, and struggled to attract free agents. I hate saying this, I really do, but I did not see the Hawks trending upward. We were in a state of flux that was multiplied by bad luck during the season. And after four years there, I felt as though I had served my purpose. I was never intended to be a superstar player. 69th overall, while an accomplishment in its own right, is not a place where teams draft their franchise player. To be honest, I just felt as though I had nothing left owed to Baltimore. There are still parts of me that are upset about it, no question. But I had to think about my future and I believed the best business move for myself was to find a new team.
LS: …….damn. Tell us how you really feel.
Cuts to Dex doing squats or making a protein or, I don’t know, breastfeeding a baby seal
LS: (voiceover) Dex Kennedy decided to use his mutual option after S26 and became a free agent. He had many suitors, but he was ultimately swayed by the Austin Copperheads: a team that, he admits, was not his first choice.
Cuts back to Dex and Lem, who is clearly trying to struggle out of his handcuffs
DK: I was about 95% sure that I was going to sign with a certain team. A team that was, mind you, not Austin. But that was when I was contacted by Maverick Bowie who claimed we were in Baltimore together at one point. I didn’t really remember him because we never officially played together but Baltimore owned his draft rights and he had been traded to Austin before ever playing a game with the Hawks. He told me that he wanted to form a FA trio with me and another one of my old teammates, Doug Howlett. I was politely dismissive at first but the more I thought about it, the more I was entertained by the idea. And thus, the Big 3 was born. As for choosing Austin, I think they excelled at being consistent with their scouting. Maverick was also very determined to return to the Copperheads. We talked about a number of teams but I think when I got swayed by Austin, that sealed it. I really gotta commend Maverick for doing some of the finest FA recruitment in the league without even being part of a team officially.
LS: I have one more question for you: how do you feel about your career up to this point? I’m sure you wish things could’ve gone better record-wise but how do you feel about yourself as a player? And what does the future hold for Dex Kennedy?
DK: There have been plenty of times where I’ve felt on top of the world and plenty of times where I’ve felt completely humbled during my career. I think the best way to describe my career up to this point is ‘subversion of expectations.’ The seasons where we went 8-8 and nearly made the playoffs on the Hawks were seasons that I did not expect us to succeed in. Even going 6-10 last season was far beyond what I had anticipated. But, of course, the season where I believed we would be at our best was when we went 3-13. Same goes for the Grey Ducks. I had high hopes of winning a championship and celebrating with my teammates in S22. That, of course, led to us falling short to the Royals. One day I hope I can call my shot and be on the money but for now I’m just gonna play my way and hope things go well.
As for how I feel as a player, I think I’ve constantly done the best I can do to my abilities. If that doesn’t make me an award winner or a Pro Bowler, then so be it. I get a lot of tackles and not much else and that’s why people don’t take notice when I’m playing well. I don’t get a lot of PDs because the ball isn’t usually thrown my way. They don’t give the most credit to the guy who covers the best. They give it to the guy with the most picks. I know I’ve been playing well and, at this point, I don’t care who’s taking notice. You’re only ever noticed if you’re making every play or missing every play. I make the plays I can and just because I don’t have the sexiest statline doesn’t mean I’m chump change. But I’ve never played for a playoff team and I’ve never been on a #1 defense. I hope to see that change and I hope my play can impact that.
As for what’s in store for the future, I hope to be a champion at some point. The Copperheads have put a lot of work in this offseason to set us up for contention and I do hope the results show. As for individual goals, I think my window is gone to become a Hall of Famer considering I have no awards nor Pro Bowls to my name. So, I’m gonna keep doing what I’m good at: tackling. I hope to finish top 10 in tackles. That’s my current career goal, beyond winning a championship of course.
LS: Well, Dex, I gotta say, you’ve come a long way from being a 6th round pick. I’ve grown a lot of respect for you and I wish you the best in the coming season. Can I shake your hand?
DK: Of course.
Dex gets up and grabs Lem’s hand. Lem, however, pulls him in and whispers faintly into his ear
LS: ....the table has been set….
Dex pulls himself away, nods, and leaves the room. Cuts back to the original newscaster
Narrator: Well...that was ominus. Coming up, a special report on the incarceration of sports journalists in South America and how most of them won’t be missed. I’m Richard Lips, signing off.
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