ISFL Season 28 draft my favorite name(s) team
Here I am for some of that good 1.5x draft media, Gonna put together a team of my favorite S28 draftee names and a couple of reasons why I like them!
Disclaimer: Anything and everything I say in this article is purely for humor purposes, Please do not take offense to anything that I say in regards to your player name as I am doing so in jest and what I say is no reflection of how I feel of you as a user or a player. Laugh at me, Laugh with me.
OFFENSE:
Quarterback: Troy Abed
Round 1 Pick #9
Berlin Fire Salamanders
DSFL Team:
Kansas City Coyotes
Relevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 16
Rushing Yards: 17
Passes Completed: 246
Passing Attempts: 480
Yards: 3130
Percentage: 51.2
Touchdowns: 19
Interceptions: 8
QB Rating: 78.2
Why:
As a fan of community and Donald Glover in general this pick was a no brainer for me.
The best characters in community were absolutely Troy and Abed and all I picture for this is them sewed together playing QB for the Fire Salamanders.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RunningBack 1: Busch Goose
Round 1 Pick #2
Baltimore Hawks
DSFL Team: Kansas City Coyotes
Relevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 139
Rushing Yards: 594
Rushing Average: 4.3
Rushing Touchdowns: 6
Receptions: 22
Receiving Yards: 295
Receiving Touchdowns: 0
Why:
My first favorite name on the Running backs list was definitely this one.
I'm just picturing a goose in a flannel bomber hat slamming cheap ass beer and then slamming his way through opponents defenses.
Must be an aggressive style runner because geese are total assholes, combine that with cheap beer and you have yourself police in the walmart parking lot at 4pm on a sunday.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RunningBack 2: Brondon Prince (Misspelled in the wiki, I'm leaving it because its hilarious)
Round 5 Pick #60
New York Silverbacks
DSFL Team:
Bondi Beach Buccaneers
Relevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 135
Rushing Yards: 546
Rushing Average: 4
Rushing Touchdowns: 5
Receptions: 5
Receiving Yards: 41
Receiving Touchdowns: 1
Why:
I initially picked him because I thought Brondon was hilarious, however this was due to a misspelling in the wiki and me apparently not being a very attentive teammate since the Draft.
I have chosen to leave it because I still laugh everytime I say Brondon. If you have a friend named Brandon or Brendon start calling them Brondon for a bit cause it will make you happy and probably irritate them to no end.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Receiver 1: Chunt The Badger
Round 1 Pick #14 Baltimore Hawks
DSFL Team:
Dallas Birddogs
Relevant Stats
Receptions: 111
Yards: 1405
Average: 12.7
Touchdowns: 10
Why:
I am a fan of Hello From the Magic Tavern, if you have not listened to it and you like fantasy and comedy podcasts then its definitely for you.
I should probably name my next created character Usidore and his many names but I digress.
ARNIE NIEKAMP
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Receiver 2: Sam The Onion Man
Round 2 Pick #23
Orange County Otters
DSFL Team:
Norfolk Seawolves
Relevant Stats
Receptions: 12
Yards: 572
Average: 12.7
Touchdowns: 1
Why:
Sometimes keeping it simple is the best strategy. His name is Sam and his association with Onions is important enough to include it in his name.
Does he just like onions? Does he sell them?
Is this dude sitting in the corner shoveling raw onions into his face in the locker room in his offtime?
Does he recommend onions as a remedy for everything?
It may be explained somewhere but that's not the point of these articles.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Offensive Line 1: Stumpy Jones
Round 2 Pick #18
Sarasota Sailfish
DSFL Team:
Portland Pythons
Relevant Stats
Pancakes: 67
Sacks Allowed: 1
Why:
Just what a great fucking name for a lineman.
"Oh that big fucker over there? That's Stumpy, he gonna eat you for lunch"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Offensive Line 2: Bjorn Borg
Round 5 Pick #61 Berlin Fire Salamanders
DSFL Team: Kansas City Coyotes
Relevant Stats
Pancakes: 38
Sacks Allowed: 3
Why:
Bjorn Borg seems like he came over from Iceland to steal your women and stop your Defensive ends. He trains by lifting large boulders and having romps with Killer whales in the ocean.
I heard his mother was a Jotun and his father was a robot.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tight End 1: Bender Rodriguez
Round 2 Pick #17 Orange County Otters
DSFL Team:
Minnesota Grey Ducks
Relevant Stats
Receptions: 15
Yards: 97
Average: 6.5
Touchdowns: 0
Pancakes: 9
Sacks Allowed: 0
Why:
My first of two picks based purely on my love for Futurama, If he's not asking you to bite his shiny metal ass in the middle of a game something is horribly wrong.
Just make sure not to suggest antiquing with him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tight End 2: Makoa Mahi'ai
Round 2 Pick #21 Baltimore Hawks
DSFL Team:
London Royals
Relevant Stats
Receptions: 42
Yards: 282
Average: 6.7
Touchdowns: 3
Pancakes: 19
Sacks Allowed: 0
Why:
I love Polynesian / Hawaiian sounding names, forgive me if my origins are off here but I believe that's the correct region.
Although this pick here was mostly driven by the fact that there were only two tight ends drafted.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kicker / Punter: Dallas Dole
Round 3 Pick #42 Orange County Otters
DSFL Team: Dallas Birddogs
Relevant Stats
Extra Point Made: 40
Extra Point Attempt: 44
Extra Point Percentage: 90.9
Field Goal Made: 21
Field Goal Attempted: 28
Field Goal Percentage: 75
<20 yards: 2/2
20 - 29 yards: 5/6
30 - 39 yards: 5/6
40 - 49 yards: 8/10
50+ yards: 1/4
Long: 50
Why:
If this isn't a kicker/punter name then I will eat a football.
Dallas Dole was born to kick that Football. Probably born on a farm and loves Budweiser, drives a ford and hates commies.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEFENSE:
Safety 1: Romulus Roman
Round 2 Pick #15
Philadelphia Liberty
DSFL Team:
Tijuana Luchadores
Relevant Stats:
Tackles: 49
Tackles for Loss: 0
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/1
Sacks: 1
Interceptions: 2
Pass Defenses: 6
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Romulus is just a killer name with the addition of Roman this player just seems like they would be a void in the backfield, eating all hope the offense has of yards after catch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Safety 2: Lux Opal
Round 4 Pick #48
Colorado Yeti
DSFL Team: Tijuana Luchadores
Relevant Stats:
Tackles: 56
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 1
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 10
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
This name originally reminded me of Steven Universe but the more it rolls around in my head the more erotic it seems.
This safety is probably making more money on the Football field then they would be otherwise so good job getting out of that life. (only kidding please don't hate me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cornerback 1: Siege Cameron
Round 3 Pick #40
Austin Copperheads
DSFL Team: Kansas City Coyotes
Relevant Stats:
Tackles: 58
Tackles for Loss: 1
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/1
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 5
Pass Defenses: 31
Touchdowns: 1
Why:
Siege is a cool name, Especially for a cornerback.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CornerBack 2: Amy Wong
Round 3 Pick #39 Colorado Yeti
DSFL Team: Norfolk Seawolves
Relevant Stats:
Tackles: 68
Tackles for Loss: 0
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 2
Pass Defenses: 31
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Yet another Futurama character, hard to not love Amy and her super rich parents and buggalos.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linebacker 1: Deandre Chuggs
Round 3 Pick #34 New York Silverbacks
DSFL Team: Minnesota Grey Ducks
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 99
Tackles for Loss: 7
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 3/0
Sacks: 2
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 6
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Deandre Chuggs sounds like the kind of guy you don't even want to talk to for fear of saying something that would cause him to fold you into a suitcase and throw you across a field, never to be seen again.
Chuggs is just such a kick ass name for any kind of defensive player.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linebacker 2: Brooks Bane
Round 4 Pick #50
Arizona Outlaws
DSFL Team: Minnesota Grey Ducks
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 66
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/1
Sacks: 3
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 2
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
I just love the name Brooks, Always have, the addition of Bane adds some badass to the mystery of Brooks.
I think its fun.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive Tackle 1: Beefcake Johnson
Round 4 Pick #54 Baltimore Hawks
DSFL Team: Dallas Birddogs
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 41
Tackles for Loss: 2
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 0
Pass Defenses: 0
Safeties: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Has there ever been a more perfect name for a defensive tackle? I picture this guy being the size of a walk in fridge with the attitude to boot.
"Aw shit, I have to go against beefcake in practice again today. I might as well break my own hand and sit it out"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive Tackle 2: Professor Godfrey Gravity
Round 1 Pick #12
Honolulu Hahalua
DSFL Team: Kansas City Coyotes
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 76
Tackles for Loss: 14
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/0
Sacks: 7
Interceptions: 0
Pass Defenses: 0
Safeties: 1
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
This name is just wildly fun, So many excellent ways you can picture Professor Gravity in your head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive End 1: Mongo
Round 1 Pick #6 New York Silverbacks
DSFL Team: Bondi Beach Buccaneers
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 39
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/2
Sacks: 8
Why:
Blazing saddles. Can't wait to have this one named monster on the other Side of my guy Brick to bring nightmares to offensive lines everywhere.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive End 2: Gritt Gurdur
Round 4 Pick #56 Baltimore Hawks
DSFL Team: Portland Pythons
Relevant Stats
Tackles: 22
Tackles for Loss: 4
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 2/0
Sacks: 1
Why:
Excellent name, Watched Tommy Boy last night to boot
"I was just checking the ahhh rotary..girder...."
Here I am for some of that good 1.5x draft media, Gonna put together a team of my favorite S28 draftee names and a couple of reasons why I like them!
Disclaimer: Anything and everything I say in this article is purely for humor purposes, Please do not take offense to anything that I say in regards to your player name as I am doing so in jest and what I say is no reflection of how I feel of you as a user or a player. Laugh at me, Laugh with me.
OFFENSE:
Quarterback: Troy Abed
Round 1 Pick #9
Berlin Fire Salamanders DSFL Team:
Kansas City Coyotes Relevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 16
Rushing Yards: 17
Passes Completed: 246
Passing Attempts: 480
Yards: 3130
Percentage: 51.2
Touchdowns: 19
Interceptions: 8
QB Rating: 78.2
Why:
As a fan of community and Donald Glover in general this pick was a no brainer for me.
The best characters in community were absolutely Troy and Abed and all I picture for this is them sewed together playing QB for the Fire Salamanders.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RunningBack 1: Busch Goose
Round 1 Pick #2
Baltimore HawksDSFL Team:
Kansas City Coyotes Relevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 139
Rushing Yards: 594
Rushing Average: 4.3
Rushing Touchdowns: 6
Receptions: 22
Receiving Yards: 295
Receiving Touchdowns: 0
Why:
My first favorite name on the Running backs list was definitely this one.
I'm just picturing a goose in a flannel bomber hat slamming cheap ass beer and then slamming his way through opponents defenses.
Must be an aggressive style runner because geese are total assholes, combine that with cheap beer and you have yourself police in the walmart parking lot at 4pm on a sunday.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
RunningBack 2: Brondon Prince (Misspelled in the wiki, I'm leaving it because its hilarious)
Round 5 Pick #60
New York SilverbacksDSFL Team:
Bondi Beach BuccaneersRelevant Stats
Rushing Attempts: 135
Rushing Yards: 546
Rushing Average: 4
Rushing Touchdowns: 5
Receptions: 5
Receiving Yards: 41
Receiving Touchdowns: 1
Why:
I initially picked him because I thought Brondon was hilarious, however this was due to a misspelling in the wiki and me apparently not being a very attentive teammate since the Draft.
I have chosen to leave it because I still laugh everytime I say Brondon. If you have a friend named Brandon or Brendon start calling them Brondon for a bit cause it will make you happy and probably irritate them to no end.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Receiver 1: Chunt The Badger
Round 1 Pick #14
Baltimore HawksDSFL Team:
Dallas BirddogsRelevant Stats
Receptions: 111
Yards: 1405
Average: 12.7
Touchdowns: 10
Why:
I am a fan of Hello From the Magic Tavern, if you have not listened to it and you like fantasy and comedy podcasts then its definitely for you.
I should probably name my next created character Usidore and his many names but I digress.
ARNIE NIEKAMP
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wide Receiver 2: Sam The Onion Man
Round 2 Pick #23
Orange County OttersDSFL Team:
Norfolk SeawolvesRelevant Stats
Receptions: 12
Yards: 572
Average: 12.7
Touchdowns: 1
Why:
Sometimes keeping it simple is the best strategy. His name is Sam and his association with Onions is important enough to include it in his name.
Does he just like onions? Does he sell them?
Is this dude sitting in the corner shoveling raw onions into his face in the locker room in his offtime?
Does he recommend onions as a remedy for everything?
It may be explained somewhere but that's not the point of these articles.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Offensive Line 1: Stumpy Jones
Round 2 Pick #18
Sarasota SailfishDSFL Team:
Portland PythonsRelevant Stats
Pancakes: 67
Sacks Allowed: 1
Why:
Just what a great fucking name for a lineman.
"Oh that big fucker over there? That's Stumpy, he gonna eat you for lunch"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Offensive Line 2: Bjorn Borg
Round 5 Pick #61
Berlin Fire Salamanders DSFL Team:
Kansas City Coyotes Relevant Stats
Pancakes: 38
Sacks Allowed: 3
Why:
Bjorn Borg seems like he came over from Iceland to steal your women and stop your Defensive ends. He trains by lifting large boulders and having romps with Killer whales in the ocean.
I heard his mother was a Jotun and his father was a robot.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tight End 1: Bender Rodriguez
Round 2 Pick #17
Orange County Otters DSFL Team:
Minnesota Grey DucksRelevant Stats
Receptions: 15
Yards: 97
Average: 6.5
Touchdowns: 0
Pancakes: 9
Sacks Allowed: 0
Why:
My first of two picks based purely on my love for Futurama, If he's not asking you to bite his shiny metal ass in the middle of a game something is horribly wrong.
Just make sure not to suggest antiquing with him.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tight End 2: Makoa Mahi'ai
Round 2 Pick #21
Baltimore HawksDSFL Team:
London RoyalsRelevant Stats
Receptions: 42
Yards: 282
Average: 6.7
Touchdowns: 3
Pancakes: 19
Sacks Allowed: 0
Why:
I love Polynesian / Hawaiian sounding names, forgive me if my origins are off here but I believe that's the correct region.
Although this pick here was mostly driven by the fact that there were only two tight ends drafted.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kicker / Punter: Dallas Dole
Round 3 Pick #42
Orange County Otters DSFL Team:
Dallas BirddogsRelevant Stats
Extra Point Made: 40
Extra Point Attempt: 44
Extra Point Percentage: 90.9
Field Goal Made: 21
Field Goal Attempted: 28
Field Goal Percentage: 75
<20 yards: 2/2
20 - 29 yards: 5/6
30 - 39 yards: 5/6
40 - 49 yards: 8/10
50+ yards: 1/4
Long: 50
Why:
If this isn't a kicker/punter name then I will eat a football.
Dallas Dole was born to kick that Football. Probably born on a farm and loves Budweiser, drives a ford and hates commies.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEFENSE:
Safety 1: Romulus Roman
Round 2 Pick #15
Philadelphia LibertyDSFL Team:
Tijuana LuchadoresRelevant Stats:
Tackles: 49
Tackles for Loss: 0
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/1
Sacks: 1
Interceptions: 2
Pass Defenses: 6
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Romulus is just a killer name with the addition of Roman this player just seems like they would be a void in the backfield, eating all hope the offense has of yards after catch.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Safety 2: Lux Opal
Round 4 Pick #48
Colorado YetiDSFL Team:
Tijuana Luchadores Relevant Stats:
Tackles: 56
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 1
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 10
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
This name originally reminded me of Steven Universe but the more it rolls around in my head the more erotic it seems.
This safety is probably making more money on the Football field then they would be otherwise so good job getting out of that life. (only kidding please don't hate me)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cornerback 1: Siege Cameron
Round 3 Pick #40
Austin CopperheadsDSFL Team:
Kansas City CoyotesRelevant Stats:
Tackles: 58
Tackles for Loss: 1
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/1
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 5
Pass Defenses: 31
Touchdowns: 1
Why:
Siege is a cool name, Especially for a cornerback.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CornerBack 2: Amy Wong
Round 3 Pick #39
Colorado YetiDSFL Team:
Norfolk SeawolvesRelevant Stats:
Tackles: 68
Tackles for Loss: 0
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 2
Pass Defenses: 31
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Yet another Futurama character, hard to not love Amy and her super rich parents and buggalos.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linebacker 1: Deandre Chuggs
Round 3 Pick #34
New York SilverbacksDSFL Team:
Minnesota Grey DucksRelevant Stats
Tackles: 99
Tackles for Loss: 7
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 3/0
Sacks: 2
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 6
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Deandre Chuggs sounds like the kind of guy you don't even want to talk to for fear of saying something that would cause him to fold you into a suitcase and throw you across a field, never to be seen again.
Chuggs is just such a kick ass name for any kind of defensive player.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linebacker 2: Brooks Bane
Round 4 Pick #50
Arizona OutlawsDSFL Team:
Minnesota Grey DucksRelevant Stats
Tackles: 66
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/1
Sacks: 3
Interceptions: 1
Pass Defenses: 2
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
I just love the name Brooks, Always have, the addition of Bane adds some badass to the mystery of Brooks.
I think its fun.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive Tackle 1: Beefcake Johnson
Round 4 Pick #54
Baltimore HawksDSFL Team:
Dallas BirddogsRelevant Stats
Tackles: 41
Tackles for Loss: 2
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/0
Sacks: 0
Interceptions: 0
Pass Defenses: 0
Safeties: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
Has there ever been a more perfect name for a defensive tackle? I picture this guy being the size of a walk in fridge with the attitude to boot.
"Aw shit, I have to go against beefcake in practice again today. I might as well break my own hand and sit it out"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive Tackle 2: Professor Godfrey Gravity
Round 1 Pick #12
Honolulu HahaluaDSFL Team:
Kansas City CoyotesRelevant Stats
Tackles: 76
Tackles for Loss: 14
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 0/0
Sacks: 7
Interceptions: 0
Pass Defenses: 0
Safeties: 1
Touchdowns: 0
Why:
This name is just wildly fun, So many excellent ways you can picture Professor Gravity in your head.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive End 1: Mongo
Round 1 Pick #6
New York SilverbacksDSFL Team:
Bondi Beach BuccaneersRelevant Stats
Tackles: 39
Tackles for Loss: 9
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 1/2
Sacks: 8
Why:
Blazing saddles. Can't wait to have this one named monster on the other Side of my guy Brick to bring nightmares to offensive lines everywhere.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Defensive End 2: Gritt Gurdur
Round 4 Pick #56
Baltimore HawksDSFL Team:
Portland PythonsRelevant Stats
Tackles: 22
Tackles for Loss: 4
Forced Fumble / Fumble Recovery: 2/0
Sacks: 1
Why:
Excellent name, Watched Tommy Boy last night to boot
"I was just checking the ahhh rotary..girder...."
![[Image: xHAQnIm.png]](https://i.imgur.com/xHAQnIm.png)
![[Image: Void_Sig.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1092456779809558619/1118191461414993941/Void_Sig.png)
![[Image: new_york_v1.0.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1030286336365711402/1118679536356302928/new_york_v1.0.png)
![[Image: 74043_s.gif]](https://signavatar.com/74043_s.gif)
