Couple collaboration! Please give 20% payout to “@slate” for compiling the bot names from the forums and helping me connect bot names to players/users, where applicable.
Introduction
Last season we decided to give a little more exposure to the clever and creative names of bots in the DSFL, writing an article ranking each team based on the quality of their bot names: https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...?tid=29833. And we know you were all eagerly awaiting to see if we would continue this season. Well wait no more! Here is S28’s completely subjective ranking of DSFL teams by BOT names!
Slate collected all bot names listed in each DSFL team’s roster subforum. Last season we only included bots that were saw playing time in games (e.g., appeared in team depth charts). Since we are trying to get this article out earlier this season, here we will be including all bot names submitted on the forum (regardless of actual playing time). As you will see, some teams only create bots for key positions of need while others create one at almost every position “just in case.” We have done our best to not allow quantity to overshadow quality in our rankings, but you can be the judge of how we did.
While different teams have different approaches for naming their bots, there are a few common techniques used. Many bots are named after former players or users of the team. This can be done through:
In this article we will list each of the teams and their bot names in order of our subjective ranking of how much we like them. Along with each team’s bot names, we will add description of what we understand to be the references being made. We try our best to explain the backstory behind the bot names that we recognize, but some of these are such “inside” jokes we hope that GMs or other players will post here and let us know the thinking behind the names! We end the article with our top 10 lists!
Team Rankings
And without further ado: the ranking of the DSFL teams by bot names! We will list the teams in order, list all of their bot names, and provide a brief description of what we like / dislike about their bot naming.
#1. Dallas Birddogs
GM:
Franz Furdinand - LB
Chew Barka - S
OL:
Luke Skybarker - OL
Mutt Damon - OL
Woof Bader Ginsbark - OL
Sherlock Bones - OL
Filler:
(none)
In first place this year we have the Dallas Birddogs. Now Dallas didn’t have too many roster holes that needed filling, but what they lacked in number of bots they made up for in quality of bot names and a consistent theme. They went with celebrity names with a doggie-twist and it is beautifully on-brand for the team. I also appreciate the variety of types of celebrities, with the bot names including an actor, two characters from the Star Wars movies, a famous literary detective, a historical figure, and an inspirational Supreme Court Justice.
My only issue with Dallas’s bot names this year is that (and I have this from a credible source) some wonderful names such as “George Bernard Paw” and “Arthur Canine Doyle” were proposed but didn’t make the cut. Personally, I would have given even higher praise if one of these had replaced “Franz Furdinand,” which is to me the worst of the bunch. Now I know that co-GM r0tzbua is Austrian, but I’m just not inspired by a bot named after the death that sparked WWI with a play on the word “fur.”
Best Name: Woof Bader Ginsbark
Worst Name: Franz Furdinand
#2. London Royals
GM:
Queen Jellyfish - TE
LiveAt D’Apollo - LB
OL:
Big Bobs - OL
Wing Wang - OL (repeat)
Gee Whiz - OL
Blorgl Gang - OL
Filler:
Anna Bell - WR
Earl Cheeks - LB
Gav Boingers - CB
Sly Daddy - S
J. Robot Oppenheimer - FB
For the second season in a row, we rank the London Royals 2nd overall in the DSFL for their bot names. This is the homer pick, but you have to give us some credit for putting Dallas over London in any sort of ranking so you can’t say we’re too biased here.
London has a long tradition of naming bots after players/users that have recently been called up to play in the ISFL. And this year they had a fairly large number of call-ups, but we are proud to say that every single one has a bot. In general, we try to name bots with players/users from the same position, so for our GM bots, we have Queen Jellyfish (TE) named for user KingJellyfish (player Makoa Mahi’ai) and LiveAt D’Apollo (LB) named for user DApolloS (player Logan Sarrasin). For Filler bots, we have Anna Bell at WR, who is named for WildfireMicro (Tusyu Asui) now playing for the Philadelphia Liberty #RingTheAnnaBell, Earl Cheeks (LB) named for TropicaliaCC (Duke Cheeks), Gav Boingers (CB) named for our now IA and inactive user gav (Gavin Leclerc), and Sly Daddy (S) named for MacDaddy (Caven McRae) and former London GM Sylphreni’s previous player Greedy Sly, who before switching to OL played at safety for the Royals. And finally we have OL bot Blorgl Gang, named after the cult-like followers of user Blorgl (Marlon Brando, DE).
While that covers all of our call-ups, we have additional holes to fill so we get even more creative. At OL, we have two bots named after platanocat (Marlon Alexander): Wing Wang his term of endearment for teammates and friends and a repeat from last season; and Big Bobs a misspelling of big boobs that has become something of a team meme thanks to his artistic render (see below). And our other OL bot is Gee Whiz, named for London war room member and subtle sarcastic presence Z-Whiz (Gunner Thorbjornsson, RB). Our final filler bot is full back J. Robot Oppenheimer, named not for a former player or user but for American physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer known as the "father of the atomic bomb". On the field, he again paves the way for Manhattan Project (RB; user Modern_Duke).
Best Name: J. Robot Oppenheimer
Worst Name: Wing Wang (just because it's a repeat)
Original "Anime girl with big bobs" from platanocat:
Big Bobs render from Katarn22
#3. Kansas City Coyotes
GM:
Dubious McDonalds - LB
Whopper Lover - OL
OL:
Coy Oté - OL
Frazz Amatazz - OL
Reginald Covington IV - OL
Brando Isabelter - OL
Filler:
Blims Gank - FB (repeat)
Numb Berrs - LB (repeat)
Hawaiian Monarch - WR
Chips Ensalsa - DT
Taco Johnson - DE
Will Amus - LB
Ghana Tape - TE
Roof Rack - CB
And in third we have the Kansas City Coyotes, who slipped a little this year in the rankings having had the top spot in S27. They had some clever individual bot names, but they have a lot of different things going on and it doesn’t feel very cohesive. We appreciate the variety that they are working with, though, and they do small themes that connect a few bots together. We’ll start with the food-related names because there are a fair number of them. Continuing last year’s theme of fast-food bots, we have Dubious McDonalds (LB), Whopper Lover (OL), Taco Johnson (DE), and Chips Ensalsa (DT). First, we just have to say that London has the better Lover at OL. Second, while Slate really enjoys Chips Ensalsa and we do have to admit that Mojo smiled and cringed simultaneously at Dubious McDonalds, we’re not a huge fan of these food-related names.
Another one of the small themes that KCC is using for just a few bots is based on the online game Geoguessr, where you are placed in a random location within Google Street View and asked to locate yourself based on your surroundings. This theme features filler bots TE Ghana Tape and CB Roof Rack. Roof Rack refers to the camera mount visible on top of the cars used within Street View, while Ghana Tape is a reference to the distinctive electrical tape on said roof racks that can be used to identify that you are viewing an image taken by a car in Ghana.
Next we have a pair of bots named for the current co-GMs. While we usually ding teams for naming bots after current GMs, Kansas City has had so much fun with theirs we have to give them a pass. First is Frazz Amatazz at OL, named for Frazzle14 (player Tony Yeboah, S). It’s just absurd and hilarious. Second is Will Amus at LB, named for WhatAmUs (Connor Quigley, OL). Now we don’t know if this was intentional, but Will Amus reminds me of rapper Will I Am and with WhatAmUs’s sexy voice it’s just an association Mojo can’t shake. We also appreciate how the two GMs practically switched positions for their bots.
They also have a few repeats, but they are some good ones. Blims Gank (FB) named for GlimsTC (player Felix Archstone, OL) and the Coyotes stadium Glims Bank as well as Numb Berrs (LB) name for user 124715 or “Numbers” as many call him (player Eleven Kendrick-Watts, WR).
Finally a few outliers or one-offs. First is Coy Oté, which we enjoy because it is a simple play on the mascot and the accent on the e makes it feel festive; it’s a nice touch. Second is Hawaiian Monarch named for a notorious user Hawaiian King, who created Lorenzo “Torch” Smith II (LB), wrote a verbose backstory for his player, and then quickly went IA. Third we have Brando Isabelter, which we can only assume is Frazzle making fun of his Scottish friend Brando in a continuation of a theme from last season. Someone please leave a comment and explain what it means to call someone a “belter”. Thanks.
And last but not least we have Reginald Covington IV, named after former Kansas City QB Reginald Covington III, who was the starting QB for the team when the current GMs joined the league in S24. While he did set the DSFL record for passing touchdowns in a season, he also cost the team many games due to throwing interceptions at bad times, and got a bit of a notorious reputation within the locker room. Hopefully the Covington-inspired bot at OL doesn’t repeat the mistakes of his predecessor or let the defensive players sack the quarterback out of spite.
Best Name: Reginald Covington IV
Worst Name: Taco Johnson
#4. Portland Pythons
GM:
Jacky Squat - LB
Alexander Roach - S
OL:
Marc Roth - OL
Jumpy Stones - OL
Rus Fan - OL
Filler:
ItsPronounced Quest - RB
LastOne Retired - TE
Saba Donut Sr. - WR
WorstGM Zeagle - DT
BestGM Hordle - LB
RIP Dylan - CB
Next up, in fourth place, we have the Portland Pythons. There are a lot of fun and tongue-in-cheek names here riffing off of previous players and users. At OL, they have Marc Roth, which is a combination of former players Marc Hamel (user lespoils) and Chuck Roth (user zEagle1, current co-GM), Rus Fan named for user Rusfan (player Joel Drake, S) and Jumpy Stones a simple but effective spoonerism from Stumpy Jones (user FootballIsCool). They also have filler bots ItsPronounced Quest (RB) not Q West named for user qWest, former Portland GM (player Tatsu Nakamura) and Saba Donut Sr (WR) named for user/player SabaDonutMan. We also have GM bot Alexander Roach (S) who is named after user Faelax’s player in the SHL (who also happens to be zEagle’s and Hordle’s GM in that league).
Portland next has a pair of filler bots named for their current GMs. As we have said before, we’re not too keen on naming bots after current GMs and WorstGM Zeagle and BestGM Hordle are not endearing enough to make up for it.
Finally we have a few one-off names in RIP Dylan (CB), which is homage to the canon and backstory created by Hawaiian King, so it’s fun to see this bot in the same season as Hawaiian Monarch in Kansas City. The other is GM bot Jacky Squat. And finally we have LastOne Retired (TE) which is just a literal statement that they need this filler bot because their TE from last season retired.
Best Name: Jumpy Stones
Worst Name: LastOne Retired
#5. Tijuana Luchadores
GM:
H2O Pappi - RB
Thiccen Shiny - DT
OL:
Frodo Baggins - OL
Samwise Gamgee - OL
Mariadoc Brandybuck - OL
Filler:
Bot Tulkas - RB
Usain Bot - WR
Slots Bot - WR
Bot Lorien - TE (repeat)
BBQ Tea - DT
Bot Garrett - DE
Immanuel Botstone - LB
Android Witten - CB
Bot Nekkid - CB
In fifth place, we have the Tijuana Luchadores. Now they have some real gems among these bot names, but they have been bumped down the list for others that just seem lazy. So we’ll start with the fun ones. There are two GM bots that we have heard were each named by one of the current co-GMs, Kotasa and GuitarMaster. First is H2O Pappi (RB), who is named for former team runningback Drip Dad (user CommishDrip), who apparently was affectionately called Water Father by the cult. So it’s not too much of a leap from Drip Dad to Water Father to H2O Pappi. The second GM bot is Thiccen Shiny (DT) named for user Shiny (player David Ramczyk) who got drafted by Baltimore and was an instant call-up this season.
At OL, we have a set of hobbits and as appreciators of Lord of the Rings, we are pleased. One of these OLis Frodo Baggins, which gets extra credit for being a correction from last year’s “Fodo” debacle. We also see the return of Bot Lorien and the new Bot Tulkas appear from the Tolkien inspiration.
We then have a series of filler bots named after current and former players and users on the team each with a little robotic twist: Bot Garrett (DE), which we think is a reference to Gyles Marrett (user FunnyManLuke) currently on the team; Bot Nekkid (CB) for Buck Nekkid (user Voltaqu) a recent call-up; Android Witten (CB) named for Andrew Witten (user mithrandir, former Tijuana GM and current New Orleans GM); and Immanual Botstone (LB) named for Immanuel Blackstone (DE; user nunccoepi).
After these, there is the strangely named BBQ Tea playing DT. This references an in-joke from DSFL GM chat this past offseason, as the draft was held up by a Scottish GM informing the rest of the GMs that he was “finishing his tea” and would pick after. When asked what kind of tea he was having, the response was “BBQ”. It turns out that by having tea he meant having dinner, but the concept of BBQ-flavored tea was too hilarious to pass up as a bot name and we’re glad that one team managed to make use of it.
The final two names are additional plays on the word “bot.” Slots Bot is kind of boring or it’s an inside joke we really don’t get. And while we like Usain Bot, we notice that the Sim team has it as Usain Bolt which kind of ruins the joke.
Best Name: BBQ Tea
Worst Name: Slots Bot
#6. Bondi Beach Buccaneers
GM:
Beach Sprinter - RB
Loki IsBetter - LB
OL:
Spongebob Pirate - OL
Johnny Depp - OL
Black Beard - OL
Long J. Silver - OL
Edward Teach - OL
Filler:
Brondon Price - RB
Alex Read - WR
Ahoyyyy Mate - DT
Life Guard - S
The Bondi Beach Buccaneers squeak in here at sixth place right behind the Tijuana Luchadores. They generally went with a pirate theme, which is on brand but not particularly inspired. At OL they have Johnny Depp (for his role as Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series), Black Beard, Long J. Silver for Long John Silver, and Edward teach (Blackbeard’s real name). They also have Ahoyyy Mate at DT and Life Guard at Safety (we definitely enjoy the amusing combination of bot name and position on this one!). They also have Beach Sprinter at RB, which I guess is just because he’s a fast bot that runs along Bondi Beach? We’re kind of hoping there is a little more to this name that we just don’t get...
Their non-pirate bots are named for team players or users. Loki IsBetter (LB) is likely a play on former GM Thor (player Heath Evans, TE). Alex Read (WR) is a small twist on former player Alex Reed (user NylarThePhoenix). Brondon Price, BBB’s fullback bot, is a reference to their current RB Brandon Prince whose name was written as “Brondon Prince” in the wiki article for the ISFL draft and further corrupted into Brondon Price in the rookie server as he was teased after pointing this out.
Best Name: Brondon Price
Worst Name: Spongebob Pirate
#7. Norfolk Seawolves
GM:
Admiral Papillon - WR
Captain Birdseye - DT
OL:
- Hamilton - OL
Ernest Shackleton - OL
Horatio McCallister - OL
Filler:
Suleiman Slamza - DT
- Blackbeard - DE
Davy Jones - CB
Faris Scherwiz - S
Johnny Silver - WR
Jack Sparrow - WR
So in second-to-last we have the Norfolk Seawolves. The team decided to go with a captain theme this year, but this is tough given the overlap that some of these names have with the pirate theme that Bondi Beach Buccaneers already own. So we get Blackbeard at DE (not to be confused with Bondi Beach’s Black Beard at OL), Davy Jones, Johnny Silver (named for Long John Silver) and Jack Sparrow (not to be confused with Minnesota’s newest TE Jack Sparrow, user Middy drafted this season)! We also get Faris Scherwiz (S) named for the pirate captain from Final Fantasy V. There are so many things that you could do with the Navy/Submarine theme that you did not have to go with pirates. So many missed opportunities like Red October or Verne Nautilus (or other play on names from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea).
Once we get away from pirates, we get some better names. We have famous explorer Ernest Shackleton, Simpsons captain Horatio McCallister, and two seafarers from famous food brands: Captain Birdseye (frozen foods) and Admiral Papillon malt master of navy gin.
And finally we have Suleiman Bamza (DT), named for former GM Blasson (player Suleiman Ramza; QB). This is another fun homage from Norfolk following Suleiman Bamza (LB) from last season.
Best Name: Suleiman Slamza
Worst Name: Jack Sparrow
#8. Minnesota Grey Ducks
GM:
Bee Strong - OL
Fat Boija - OL (repeat)
OL:
Knee Pads - OL
Mister Creosote - OL
Kaghners Helmut - OL
Filler:
King Conner - LB
In last place again this year we have the Minnesota Grey Ducks. We ranked them low last year for having many of their bots named with different versions of “Connor Craig” after their then GM. They didn’t find many new jokes this year, continuing the theme with Kaghners Helmut (OL) and King Conner (LB). Enough! You even drafted Connor Craig Jr. (user Dewalt) this season. As expected, we see the return of Fat Boija, this time at OL.
We have a few other one-offs that don’t seem to follow any sort of theme. Bee Strong (OL), Knee Pads (OL), and Mister Creosote (OL). For those that are curious, creosote is a byproduct of wood combustion that consists mainly of tar. Maybe these names have some hilarious backstory to which we are not privy, but to a normal observer they just seem pretty bland. Minnesota didn’t have too many holes that they needed to fill this year so we would have liked to see a little more creativity going into the names that they put forward.
Best Name: Bee Strong
Worst Name: Kaghners Helmut
Our Top 10
So that concludes our ranking of the DSFL teams by S28 bot names! Having gone through all of the DSFL bots by team, we thought it would be fun to finish with our top 10 bot names for S28. Here you go!
Slate’s top 10:
Mojojojo’s top 10:
Introduction
Last season we decided to give a little more exposure to the clever and creative names of bots in the DSFL, writing an article ranking each team based on the quality of their bot names: https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...?tid=29833. And we know you were all eagerly awaiting to see if we would continue this season. Well wait no more! Here is S28’s completely subjective ranking of DSFL teams by BOT names!
Slate collected all bot names listed in each DSFL team’s roster subforum. Last season we only included bots that were saw playing time in games (e.g., appeared in team depth charts). Since we are trying to get this article out earlier this season, here we will be including all bot names submitted on the forum (regardless of actual playing time). As you will see, some teams only create bots for key positions of need while others create one at almost every position “just in case.” We have done our best to not allow quantity to overshadow quality in our rankings, but you can be the judge of how we did.
While different teams have different approaches for naming their bots, there are a few common techniques used. Many bots are named after former players or users of the team. This can be done through:
- Swapping first and last initials (spoonerism)
- Combining two player or user names, often taking the first name of one and the last name of another
- Modifying a player name to make sense for a robot, often playing on the word “bot”
- Making a player name silly
In this article we will list each of the teams and their bot names in order of our subjective ranking of how much we like them. Along with each team’s bot names, we will add description of what we understand to be the references being made. We try our best to explain the backstory behind the bot names that we recognize, but some of these are such “inside” jokes we hope that GMs or other players will post here and let us know the thinking behind the names! We end the article with our top 10 lists!
Team Rankings
And without further ado: the ranking of the DSFL teams by bot names! We will list the teams in order, list all of their bot names, and provide a brief description of what we like / dislike about their bot naming.
#1. Dallas Birddogs
GM:
Franz Furdinand - LB
Chew Barka - S
OL:
Luke Skybarker - OL
Mutt Damon - OL
Woof Bader Ginsbark - OL
Sherlock Bones - OL
Filler:
(none)
In first place this year we have the Dallas Birddogs. Now Dallas didn’t have too many roster holes that needed filling, but what they lacked in number of bots they made up for in quality of bot names and a consistent theme. They went with celebrity names with a doggie-twist and it is beautifully on-brand for the team. I also appreciate the variety of types of celebrities, with the bot names including an actor, two characters from the Star Wars movies, a famous literary detective, a historical figure, and an inspirational Supreme Court Justice.
My only issue with Dallas’s bot names this year is that (and I have this from a credible source) some wonderful names such as “George Bernard Paw” and “Arthur Canine Doyle” were proposed but didn’t make the cut. Personally, I would have given even higher praise if one of these had replaced “Franz Furdinand,” which is to me the worst of the bunch. Now I know that co-GM r0tzbua is Austrian, but I’m just not inspired by a bot named after the death that sparked WWI with a play on the word “fur.”
Best Name: Woof Bader Ginsbark
Worst Name: Franz Furdinand
#2. London Royals
GM:
Queen Jellyfish - TE
LiveAt D’Apollo - LB
OL:
Big Bobs - OL
Wing Wang - OL (repeat)
Gee Whiz - OL
Blorgl Gang - OL
Filler:
Anna Bell - WR
Earl Cheeks - LB
Gav Boingers - CB
Sly Daddy - S
J. Robot Oppenheimer - FB
For the second season in a row, we rank the London Royals 2nd overall in the DSFL for their bot names. This is the homer pick, but you have to give us some credit for putting Dallas over London in any sort of ranking so you can’t say we’re too biased here.
London has a long tradition of naming bots after players/users that have recently been called up to play in the ISFL. And this year they had a fairly large number of call-ups, but we are proud to say that every single one has a bot. In general, we try to name bots with players/users from the same position, so for our GM bots, we have Queen Jellyfish (TE) named for user KingJellyfish (player Makoa Mahi’ai) and LiveAt D’Apollo (LB) named for user DApolloS (player Logan Sarrasin). For Filler bots, we have Anna Bell at WR, who is named for WildfireMicro (Tusyu Asui) now playing for the Philadelphia Liberty #RingTheAnnaBell, Earl Cheeks (LB) named for TropicaliaCC (Duke Cheeks), Gav Boingers (CB) named for our now IA and inactive user gav (Gavin Leclerc), and Sly Daddy (S) named for MacDaddy (Caven McRae) and former London GM Sylphreni’s previous player Greedy Sly, who before switching to OL played at safety for the Royals. And finally we have OL bot Blorgl Gang, named after the cult-like followers of user Blorgl (Marlon Brando, DE).
While that covers all of our call-ups, we have additional holes to fill so we get even more creative. At OL, we have two bots named after platanocat (Marlon Alexander): Wing Wang his term of endearment for teammates and friends and a repeat from last season; and Big Bobs a misspelling of big boobs that has become something of a team meme thanks to his artistic render (see below). And our other OL bot is Gee Whiz, named for London war room member and subtle sarcastic presence Z-Whiz (Gunner Thorbjornsson, RB). Our final filler bot is full back J. Robot Oppenheimer, named not for a former player or user but for American physicist J. Robert Oppenheimer known as the "father of the atomic bomb". On the field, he again paves the way for Manhattan Project (RB; user Modern_Duke).
Best Name: J. Robot Oppenheimer
Worst Name: Wing Wang (just because it's a repeat)
Original "Anime girl with big bobs" from platanocat:
Big Bobs render from Katarn22
#3. Kansas City Coyotes
GM:
Dubious McDonalds - LB
Whopper Lover - OL
OL:
Coy Oté - OL
Frazz Amatazz - OL
Reginald Covington IV - OL
Brando Isabelter - OL
Filler:
Blims Gank - FB (repeat)
Numb Berrs - LB (repeat)
Hawaiian Monarch - WR
Chips Ensalsa - DT
Taco Johnson - DE
Will Amus - LB
Ghana Tape - TE
Roof Rack - CB
And in third we have the Kansas City Coyotes, who slipped a little this year in the rankings having had the top spot in S27. They had some clever individual bot names, but they have a lot of different things going on and it doesn’t feel very cohesive. We appreciate the variety that they are working with, though, and they do small themes that connect a few bots together. We’ll start with the food-related names because there are a fair number of them. Continuing last year’s theme of fast-food bots, we have Dubious McDonalds (LB), Whopper Lover (OL), Taco Johnson (DE), and Chips Ensalsa (DT). First, we just have to say that London has the better Lover at OL. Second, while Slate really enjoys Chips Ensalsa and we do have to admit that Mojo smiled and cringed simultaneously at Dubious McDonalds, we’re not a huge fan of these food-related names.
Another one of the small themes that KCC is using for just a few bots is based on the online game Geoguessr, where you are placed in a random location within Google Street View and asked to locate yourself based on your surroundings. This theme features filler bots TE Ghana Tape and CB Roof Rack. Roof Rack refers to the camera mount visible on top of the cars used within Street View, while Ghana Tape is a reference to the distinctive electrical tape on said roof racks that can be used to identify that you are viewing an image taken by a car in Ghana.
Next we have a pair of bots named for the current co-GMs. While we usually ding teams for naming bots after current GMs, Kansas City has had so much fun with theirs we have to give them a pass. First is Frazz Amatazz at OL, named for Frazzle14 (player Tony Yeboah, S). It’s just absurd and hilarious. Second is Will Amus at LB, named for WhatAmUs (Connor Quigley, OL). Now we don’t know if this was intentional, but Will Amus reminds me of rapper Will I Am and with WhatAmUs’s sexy voice it’s just an association Mojo can’t shake. We also appreciate how the two GMs practically switched positions for their bots.
They also have a few repeats, but they are some good ones. Blims Gank (FB) named for GlimsTC (player Felix Archstone, OL) and the Coyotes stadium Glims Bank as well as Numb Berrs (LB) name for user 124715 or “Numbers” as many call him (player Eleven Kendrick-Watts, WR).
Finally a few outliers or one-offs. First is Coy Oté, which we enjoy because it is a simple play on the mascot and the accent on the e makes it feel festive; it’s a nice touch. Second is Hawaiian Monarch named for a notorious user Hawaiian King, who created Lorenzo “Torch” Smith II (LB), wrote a verbose backstory for his player, and then quickly went IA. Third we have Brando Isabelter, which we can only assume is Frazzle making fun of his Scottish friend Brando in a continuation of a theme from last season. Someone please leave a comment and explain what it means to call someone a “belter”. Thanks.
And last but not least we have Reginald Covington IV, named after former Kansas City QB Reginald Covington III, who was the starting QB for the team when the current GMs joined the league in S24. While he did set the DSFL record for passing touchdowns in a season, he also cost the team many games due to throwing interceptions at bad times, and got a bit of a notorious reputation within the locker room. Hopefully the Covington-inspired bot at OL doesn’t repeat the mistakes of his predecessor or let the defensive players sack the quarterback out of spite.
Best Name: Reginald Covington IV
Worst Name: Taco Johnson
#4. Portland Pythons
GM:
Jacky Squat - LB
Alexander Roach - S
OL:
Marc Roth - OL
Jumpy Stones - OL
Rus Fan - OL
Filler:
ItsPronounced Quest - RB
LastOne Retired - TE
Saba Donut Sr. - WR
WorstGM Zeagle - DT
BestGM Hordle - LB
RIP Dylan - CB
Next up, in fourth place, we have the Portland Pythons. There are a lot of fun and tongue-in-cheek names here riffing off of previous players and users. At OL, they have Marc Roth, which is a combination of former players Marc Hamel (user lespoils) and Chuck Roth (user zEagle1, current co-GM), Rus Fan named for user Rusfan (player Joel Drake, S) and Jumpy Stones a simple but effective spoonerism from Stumpy Jones (user FootballIsCool). They also have filler bots ItsPronounced Quest (RB) not Q West named for user qWest, former Portland GM (player Tatsu Nakamura) and Saba Donut Sr (WR) named for user/player SabaDonutMan. We also have GM bot Alexander Roach (S) who is named after user Faelax’s player in the SHL (who also happens to be zEagle’s and Hordle’s GM in that league).
Portland next has a pair of filler bots named for their current GMs. As we have said before, we’re not too keen on naming bots after current GMs and WorstGM Zeagle and BestGM Hordle are not endearing enough to make up for it.
Finally we have a few one-off names in RIP Dylan (CB), which is homage to the canon and backstory created by Hawaiian King, so it’s fun to see this bot in the same season as Hawaiian Monarch in Kansas City. The other is GM bot Jacky Squat. And finally we have LastOne Retired (TE) which is just a literal statement that they need this filler bot because their TE from last season retired.
Best Name: Jumpy Stones
Worst Name: LastOne Retired
#5. Tijuana Luchadores
GM:
H2O Pappi - RB
Thiccen Shiny - DT
OL:
Frodo Baggins - OL
Samwise Gamgee - OL
Mariadoc Brandybuck - OL
Filler:
Bot Tulkas - RB
Usain Bot - WR
Slots Bot - WR
Bot Lorien - TE (repeat)
BBQ Tea - DT
Bot Garrett - DE
Immanuel Botstone - LB
Android Witten - CB
Bot Nekkid - CB
In fifth place, we have the Tijuana Luchadores. Now they have some real gems among these bot names, but they have been bumped down the list for others that just seem lazy. So we’ll start with the fun ones. There are two GM bots that we have heard were each named by one of the current co-GMs, Kotasa and GuitarMaster. First is H2O Pappi (RB), who is named for former team runningback Drip Dad (user CommishDrip), who apparently was affectionately called Water Father by the cult. So it’s not too much of a leap from Drip Dad to Water Father to H2O Pappi. The second GM bot is Thiccen Shiny (DT) named for user Shiny (player David Ramczyk) who got drafted by Baltimore and was an instant call-up this season.
At OL, we have a set of hobbits and as appreciators of Lord of the Rings, we are pleased. One of these OLis Frodo Baggins, which gets extra credit for being a correction from last year’s “Fodo” debacle. We also see the return of Bot Lorien and the new Bot Tulkas appear from the Tolkien inspiration.
We then have a series of filler bots named after current and former players and users on the team each with a little robotic twist: Bot Garrett (DE), which we think is a reference to Gyles Marrett (user FunnyManLuke) currently on the team; Bot Nekkid (CB) for Buck Nekkid (user Voltaqu) a recent call-up; Android Witten (CB) named for Andrew Witten (user mithrandir, former Tijuana GM and current New Orleans GM); and Immanual Botstone (LB) named for Immanuel Blackstone (DE; user nunccoepi).
After these, there is the strangely named BBQ Tea playing DT. This references an in-joke from DSFL GM chat this past offseason, as the draft was held up by a Scottish GM informing the rest of the GMs that he was “finishing his tea” and would pick after. When asked what kind of tea he was having, the response was “BBQ”. It turns out that by having tea he meant having dinner, but the concept of BBQ-flavored tea was too hilarious to pass up as a bot name and we’re glad that one team managed to make use of it.
The final two names are additional plays on the word “bot.” Slots Bot is kind of boring or it’s an inside joke we really don’t get. And while we like Usain Bot, we notice that the Sim team has it as Usain Bolt which kind of ruins the joke.
Best Name: BBQ Tea
Worst Name: Slots Bot
#6. Bondi Beach Buccaneers
GM:
Beach Sprinter - RB
Loki IsBetter - LB
OL:
Spongebob Pirate - OL
Johnny Depp - OL
Black Beard - OL
Long J. Silver - OL
Edward Teach - OL
Filler:
Brondon Price - RB
Alex Read - WR
Ahoyyyy Mate - DT
Life Guard - S
The Bondi Beach Buccaneers squeak in here at sixth place right behind the Tijuana Luchadores. They generally went with a pirate theme, which is on brand but not particularly inspired. At OL they have Johnny Depp (for his role as Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series), Black Beard, Long J. Silver for Long John Silver, and Edward teach (Blackbeard’s real name). They also have Ahoyyy Mate at DT and Life Guard at Safety (we definitely enjoy the amusing combination of bot name and position on this one!). They also have Beach Sprinter at RB, which I guess is just because he’s a fast bot that runs along Bondi Beach? We’re kind of hoping there is a little more to this name that we just don’t get...
Their non-pirate bots are named for team players or users. Loki IsBetter (LB) is likely a play on former GM Thor (player Heath Evans, TE). Alex Read (WR) is a small twist on former player Alex Reed (user NylarThePhoenix). Brondon Price, BBB’s fullback bot, is a reference to their current RB Brandon Prince whose name was written as “Brondon Prince” in the wiki article for the ISFL draft and further corrupted into Brondon Price in the rookie server as he was teased after pointing this out.
Best Name: Brondon Price
Worst Name: Spongebob Pirate
#7. Norfolk Seawolves
GM:
Admiral Papillon - WR
Captain Birdseye - DT
OL:
- Hamilton - OL
Ernest Shackleton - OL
Horatio McCallister - OL
Filler:
Suleiman Slamza - DT
- Blackbeard - DE
Davy Jones - CB
Faris Scherwiz - S
Johnny Silver - WR
Jack Sparrow - WR
So in second-to-last we have the Norfolk Seawolves. The team decided to go with a captain theme this year, but this is tough given the overlap that some of these names have with the pirate theme that Bondi Beach Buccaneers already own. So we get Blackbeard at DE (not to be confused with Bondi Beach’s Black Beard at OL), Davy Jones, Johnny Silver (named for Long John Silver) and Jack Sparrow (not to be confused with Minnesota’s newest TE Jack Sparrow, user Middy drafted this season)! We also get Faris Scherwiz (S) named for the pirate captain from Final Fantasy V. There are so many things that you could do with the Navy/Submarine theme that you did not have to go with pirates. So many missed opportunities like Red October or Verne Nautilus (or other play on names from Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea).
Once we get away from pirates, we get some better names. We have famous explorer Ernest Shackleton, Simpsons captain Horatio McCallister, and two seafarers from famous food brands: Captain Birdseye (frozen foods) and Admiral Papillon malt master of navy gin.
And finally we have Suleiman Bamza (DT), named for former GM Blasson (player Suleiman Ramza; QB). This is another fun homage from Norfolk following Suleiman Bamza (LB) from last season.
Best Name: Suleiman Slamza
Worst Name: Jack Sparrow
#8. Minnesota Grey Ducks
GM:
Bee Strong - OL
Fat Boija - OL (repeat)
OL:
Knee Pads - OL
Mister Creosote - OL
Kaghners Helmut - OL
Filler:
King Conner - LB
In last place again this year we have the Minnesota Grey Ducks. We ranked them low last year for having many of their bots named with different versions of “Connor Craig” after their then GM. They didn’t find many new jokes this year, continuing the theme with Kaghners Helmut (OL) and King Conner (LB). Enough! You even drafted Connor Craig Jr. (user Dewalt) this season. As expected, we see the return of Fat Boija, this time at OL.
We have a few other one-offs that don’t seem to follow any sort of theme. Bee Strong (OL), Knee Pads (OL), and Mister Creosote (OL). For those that are curious, creosote is a byproduct of wood combustion that consists mainly of tar. Maybe these names have some hilarious backstory to which we are not privy, but to a normal observer they just seem pretty bland. Minnesota didn’t have too many holes that they needed to fill this year so we would have liked to see a little more creativity going into the names that they put forward.
Best Name: Bee Strong
Worst Name: Kaghners Helmut
Our Top 10
So that concludes our ranking of the DSFL teams by S28 bot names! Having gone through all of the DSFL bots by team, we thought it would be fun to finish with our top 10 bot names for S28. Here you go!
Slate’s top 10:
- Brondon Price
- Woof Bader Ginsbark
- Jumpy Stones
- LiveAt D’Apollo
- Suleiman Slamza
- Reginald Covington IV
- J. Robot Oppenheimer
- Frazz Amatazz
- BBQ Tea
- Gee Whiz
Mojojojo’s top 10:
- Woof Bader Ginsbark
- Big Bobs
- Will Amus
- J. Robot Oppenheimer
- Jumpy Stones
- Suleiman Slamza
- H2O Pappi
- Gee Whiz
- Life Guard
- ItsPronounced Quest