04-06-2021, 02:59 PM
(This post was last modified: 04-09-2021, 02:24 AM by Asked Madden.)
Hey there, everyone! I wanted to talk about the Jackie Daytona Foundation, and why his turnovers are actually on purpose, the reason why the team wins, and how it's helping children everywhere.
Now for starters, you may be asking yourself, what the heck do I mean by all of this? Well you see, as a Copperhead stat fanatic and game watcher, I've come to realize something. Jackie Daytona really likes charity, like, REALLY likes it. You'll find that for no reason whatsoever, Daytona just lets the ball rip straight at a defender for an INT, or just straight up puts the ball on the ground and walks away for a defender to pick it up. Many have criticized him, claiming that he's "not taking the game seriously" or that he's "lacking in Football IQ." I believe that these doubters could not be more wrong though, as when you look at the stats, there's something that stands out pretty big. The Austin Copperheads have not lost a game in which Jackie Daytona turns the ball over. In the one singular game the Copperheads have lost so far, it also happens to be the only game in which Daytona failed to turn the ball over. So one must wonder, what is it about turnovers that causes Daytona to ball out so heavily? Why is it something he needs to do? Well I'll tell you...In the next paragraph.
When asked what Jackie Daytona's favorite charity was, with no hesitation he answered COTA, which is the Children's Organ Transplant Association. Every single game he plays is dedicated to the hard workers of the organization and the children in need. Not only that, but there's a clause in his contract (it's super hidden, you wouldn't know about it unless you already knew) that states that for every turnover Daytona commits, some of his money is withheld. But instead of just holding onto the money, the Copperheads send the money to Daytona's charity of choice.
But now, how does all of this end up being the reason him and the team win? It doesn't make any sense! Well, that's where you'd be wrong. Daytona can only play at a high level if his mind is clear and elated. When he gets a turnover out of the way, he feels pure mental clarity. But when he's unable to turn the ball over, he panics. He realizes he's letting the children down, and it hurts his production. A pattern you'll notice in every game the Copperheads have played so far, is that Daytona has always turned the ball over at least once in the first half of the game. It gets it out of the way and lets him focus on driving the rock down the field having assured his charity WILL be receiving money that week in the name of the Jackie Daytona Foundation.
Lastly, I'd like to clarify something, as I have no doubt it'll be asked. Anyone who looks at the stats like I do, will notice right away that Daytona was sacked in the endzone, fumbled, recovered, and was whistled down as giving up a safety to the Orange County Otters. One might argue that a safety counts as a turnover, and thus my entire philosophy is wrong. However, YOU would be wrong, as according to the NFL rulebook (which is what the ISFL adopted), safeties do not count as turnovers. Only interceptions and fumbles officially count towards it. Additionally, his turnover on downs can't count, as it was a desperate attempt to cause a turnover and still win, but a turnover on downs surprisingly does not count as a turnover either. Daytona in both cases did not realize this rule, so maybe there is room for argument on his Football IQ, but he did try his best. Unfortunately, the pressure of the situation caused his mental to collapse and the late victory rally was stopped. And so, this means our only turnover free game is our only loss on the season so far.
In conclusion, Daytona NEEDS turnovers. They're the very thing that leads this team to victory. So if you see it happen, you shouldn't be laughing at Daytona or celebrating, you should be scared for the implications. Scared about what a Jackie Daytona turnover means for your team. Because it's not phasing him, it's fueling him and the dreams of children all around the world.
(And moving forward, every turnover that Jackie Daytona has, I will be donating $5 to the charity fundraiser. This includes the ones he's already thrown, meaning $30 is already on the table ready to be donated in the name of Jackie Daytona's heroism.)
Now for starters, you may be asking yourself, what the heck do I mean by all of this? Well you see, as a Copperhead stat fanatic and game watcher, I've come to realize something. Jackie Daytona really likes charity, like, REALLY likes it. You'll find that for no reason whatsoever, Daytona just lets the ball rip straight at a defender for an INT, or just straight up puts the ball on the ground and walks away for a defender to pick it up. Many have criticized him, claiming that he's "not taking the game seriously" or that he's "lacking in Football IQ." I believe that these doubters could not be more wrong though, as when you look at the stats, there's something that stands out pretty big. The Austin Copperheads have not lost a game in which Jackie Daytona turns the ball over. In the one singular game the Copperheads have lost so far, it also happens to be the only game in which Daytona failed to turn the ball over. So one must wonder, what is it about turnovers that causes Daytona to ball out so heavily? Why is it something he needs to do? Well I'll tell you...In the next paragraph.
When asked what Jackie Daytona's favorite charity was, with no hesitation he answered COTA, which is the Children's Organ Transplant Association. Every single game he plays is dedicated to the hard workers of the organization and the children in need. Not only that, but there's a clause in his contract (it's super hidden, you wouldn't know about it unless you already knew) that states that for every turnover Daytona commits, some of his money is withheld. But instead of just holding onto the money, the Copperheads send the money to Daytona's charity of choice.
But now, how does all of this end up being the reason him and the team win? It doesn't make any sense! Well, that's where you'd be wrong. Daytona can only play at a high level if his mind is clear and elated. When he gets a turnover out of the way, he feels pure mental clarity. But when he's unable to turn the ball over, he panics. He realizes he's letting the children down, and it hurts his production. A pattern you'll notice in every game the Copperheads have played so far, is that Daytona has always turned the ball over at least once in the first half of the game. It gets it out of the way and lets him focus on driving the rock down the field having assured his charity WILL be receiving money that week in the name of the Jackie Daytona Foundation.
Lastly, I'd like to clarify something, as I have no doubt it'll be asked. Anyone who looks at the stats like I do, will notice right away that Daytona was sacked in the endzone, fumbled, recovered, and was whistled down as giving up a safety to the Orange County Otters. One might argue that a safety counts as a turnover, and thus my entire philosophy is wrong. However, YOU would be wrong, as according to the NFL rulebook (which is what the ISFL adopted), safeties do not count as turnovers. Only interceptions and fumbles officially count towards it. Additionally, his turnover on downs can't count, as it was a desperate attempt to cause a turnover and still win, but a turnover on downs surprisingly does not count as a turnover either. Daytona in both cases did not realize this rule, so maybe there is room for argument on his Football IQ, but he did try his best. Unfortunately, the pressure of the situation caused his mental to collapse and the late victory rally was stopped. And so, this means our only turnover free game is our only loss on the season so far.
In conclusion, Daytona NEEDS turnovers. They're the very thing that leads this team to victory. So if you see it happen, you shouldn't be laughing at Daytona or celebrating, you should be scared for the implications. Scared about what a Jackie Daytona turnover means for your team. Because it's not phasing him, it's fueling him and the dreams of children all around the world.
(And moving forward, every turnover that Jackie Daytona has, I will be donating $5 to the charity fundraiser. This includes the ones he's already thrown, meaning $30 is already on the table ready to be donated in the name of Jackie Daytona's heroism.)
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