It's been a rough first quarter of the season for the Las Vegas Legion, as they sit 1-4 with really no light shining at the end of the tunnel. After a surprise OT thriller over Baltimore in Week 1, they have been utterly atrocious on nearly all fronts. The offensive line can't block for anything, the defensive line can't get pressure and receivers literally cake their hands in butter before games. Their quarterback, the usually vocal and boisterous Josh Bercovici, who signed a record breaking contract in the off-season, sits dead last in all major categories and has a sexy 38.5 passer rating.
Bercovici has been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the first five games, undoubtedly too busy cleaning up his wounds and spending the majority of his life in the ice bath...until today that is. The media has plying Josh with antagonizing, bait-filled questions all season, and he has refused their advances all season, but it seems that Josh is ready to speak out.
Dan Dildinker:
- Josh, what is the main reason for the Legion's struggles thus far? Do you feel like you're literally ripping off the team with your massive contract and currently dead last ratings?
Josh Bercovici:
- Well Dildo, let me start by saying no, I don't feel bad about my contract. Those of you ready to hang me and kick me out of the city already are the worst kind of fans, and frankly give a bad name to real fans, because you obviously have no fucking clue. As far as our struggles, I will shoulder the blame- you can blame the lack of offensive line, the lack of hands, whatever, but the bottom line is I'm still the one making the decisions, and it's my job to avoid pressure and make good throws, there's really no excuse for tossing ten interceptions in five games and I refuse to blame my teammates when I make bad plays. Yes, there are other factors contributing to our current spiral, but most of it is shouldered by me.
Beth Bendover:
- Speaking of other factors, let's address them. You've been sacked 25 times and you're receivers have dropped a hefty 41 passes. Watching you play is like watching a man running for his life as two lions chase after him in the safari, it's as if you have absolutely no time to actually sit in the pocket and deliver balanced, accurate throws. There have been numerous instances where opposing defenders have walked untouched into your pocket and smashed you into the ground. Have you had any words with your offensive linemen? receivers? because to stand here and take all the blame, while noble and manly, is bullshit from where I stand.
Josh Bercovici:
-You raise some good points, and like I said earlier, there are other factors besides myself that contribute to our bad play. Yes, I've had words with the linemen- they know where I stand, but here's the problem, no amount of screaming and berating- which I do alot of- will fix the problem we have on the line: no fucking talent. As for the receivers, I have good relationship with them, and we've been working a lot of overtime to get on the same page and improve our skills, I have no doubts about things improving on that front.
Hannah Hoemeister:
-Have you been playing with a concussion? Honestly Josh, you've taken more hits than anyone, and most of them have been blindsiders drilling you into the dirt face first, we've all seen the beating your taking and there's no way you atleast haven't been checked for it.
Josh Bercovici:
-I'm not a pussy. I only go to the doctor when I run out of vicodin.
Eric Kettle:
-Are you having any doubts about Las Vegas? The direction their heading? In Orange County you were very vocal about management and didn't hold back.
Josh Bercovici:
-No doubts. I have faith in our leadership.
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Sponsored By Trump Athletics - Mr. 96th Overall- TPE= 280
Sponsored By Trump Athletics - Mr. 96th Overall- TPE= 280