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A while back I wrote a media piece, https://forums.sim-football.com/showthre...?tid=27925, in which I took a look at the top 14 most populated cities in America compared them to the league and made note if we had a team in one of these cities or not. The final count was that we had 6 teams who play in a top 14 population city with many more teams playing in smaller cities. Honolulu was the smallest United State city with a population of 100k+ which is 314 cities in America by the way. Sarasota only has 57k and therefore was not even featured on this list. The league of course also holds two non American teams in Yellowknife and Berlin.
This was a fun little project to work on and look at. The one thing I noticed was how populated the cities in California and Texas are. In the top 14 cities I specifically looked at California was featured three times (Los Angeles, San Jose, San Francisco) and Texas was featured a whopping five times (Houston, San Antonio, Dallas, Austin and Fort Worth). If we did teams based on city population 8 of the 14 teams would be in these two states. No other state features two or more cities in this list. (New York, Illinois, Arizona, Pennsylvania, Florida, Ohio all respectively have one city in the top 14).
This got me thinking, what if instead of looking at the top 14 cities overall. I would look at the highest populated city per state and list those down from highest to lowest. Pretty nifty idea eh. So let’s return to this project, with a slightly different view on the league in comparison to America.
Once again I will be using everyone’s favourite, 100% trustworthy, sourceable website Wikipedia for this and use the ‘List of United States cities by population‘ to find the top populated cities per state.
The presentation will as following:
[# rank in population in United states cities], city name, sate, [2019 population]
[what team plays in that city if any]
Number 1: New York City, New York (population: 8,336,817)
ISFL team: New York Silverbacks
So right off the bat nothing changes. New York is America’s largest city by population Clocking over twice as large as the second biggest city which you will be seeing shortly. Since the S25 expansion the league has had a team in the Big Apple. A team who struggled early on as the new team on the block, but who has since been able to stabilize themselves in the once notorious ASFC division. Last year they saw their second playoff appearance and the future's looking bright in New York. Expect the apes to make a ruckus in the years to come.
Number 2: Los Angeles, California (population: 3,979,576)
ISFL team: N/A
Oke granted the first few cities here will be kinda a repeat of my original article. As the top 6 cities in the States are all from different states. The California representative will be Los Angeles. I always question whether I should put the Otters here, but they play in Anaheim which is it’s own city, but is also part of the Los Angeles metropolitan area. Cities work strangely, but for the sake of sakes I will leave Anaheim out of this. So with LA being the California rep in the league, teams like San Jose and Orange County will be kicked to the curb and replaced with a shiny new team. What is Los Angeles known for? Well according to the internet one of the big things is Hollywood. You know what happens in Hollywood? A lot of horrible stuff, but it is where Stars make their living. We bring you the L.A. Stars. As much as I hate using a pre-existing team name that is being used in the big sports. (Dallas Stars). With the whole Hollywood thing Los Angeles has going on and the Walk of Fame which literally has stars it is hard to not go with this low hanging fruit.
Number 3: Chicago, Illinois (population: 2,693,976)
ISFL team: Chicago Butchers
Yes it is Butcher time as we reach the third largest city in the United States.The Butchers have been a staple in the league since its creation in Season 16. Often for better or for worse the Butchers always had something happening around them, but in today’s ISFL they are a pretty stable team who have just come off some strong seasons with a down season in the latest season. One of the few teams to not yet have a final appearance in the Ultimus yet, they bide their time. Early season predictions have them sitting around a 5th/6th place finish for this upcoming season, so it looks like they are retooling themselves to get back out there again. They’ve tasted some success since their first few seasons and I bet they cannot wait to get at it again.
Number 4: Houston, Texas (population: 2,320,268)
ISFL team: N/A
The largest city in Texas does not host a team in this league as of writing this article. Austin and Dallas have the privilege of representing Texas in the ISFL and DSFL respectively. I will not be touching the DSFL, but I will be removing Austin from the league in this thought experiment as they do not comply with having the highest population in a state criteria. Austin has had a nice run since their season 16 inception, but Houston calls. In the past I have often used Houston as a team to write about when it comes to expansion and stuff. Houston is kinda known as the space city. Chicagotribune even calls it the world capital of space exploration. How crazy would it be if I put a space related name on a team from Houston. In my mind I have always liked the team name Supernovas. They are pretty and they are an explosion. Just like what a team wants to be exploding with power and making an impact on the league. So my second Original Character™ team will be the Houston Supernovas. Also please sign my player in this make believe universe.
Number 5: Phoenix, Arizona (population: 1,680,992)
ISFL team: Arizona Outlaws
Back at it again with an existing team. Phoenix, the 5th largest city in the United States is home to the Arizona Outlaws. One of the league's original teams and a team who has been making strong moves the last few seasons to try and conquer another Ultimus. Their last playoff win was already way back in season 16 when they beat the Philadelphia Liberty in a close 34-30 game. Fun fact at the time I wrote my last article the Outlaws were the only team in history to have never lost a final having a perfect 4-0 record in Ultimus appearances. Since then the Sarasota Sailfish have joined this little club as they made their first playoff appearance in season 27 and won the cup. 3 less games than the Outlaws, but until they lose one, stll a part of the 1.000 win percentage club.
Number 6: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (population: 1,584,064)
ISFL team: Philadelphia Liberty
Philadelphia will be the last city that will look familiar to the last article I did as after this a bunch of Texas and California based cities show their big heads. The Liberty is one of the original expansion teams and joined the league back in season 2 when it became clear the league had outgrown its previous 6 team league system. The Liberty have had a rough history and their last time appearing in a final game was in the aforementioned loss against the Outlaws way back in season 16. As with the Chicago Butchers the team is projected to finish around the 5th or 6th place in the standings according to the public. The Liberty will no doubt agree to this for now, but as a young up incoming team with a boatload of players from the S25 and up draft class they eagerly await their development, which should put them back on the map again in the ISFL. Another team I will put a stamp of just wait and see on, the bell is ringing and the Liberty are on the other end of the line.
Now this is going to be the point where it will be getting interesting. We have covered some of the states with massive cities like California and Texas, which should let other states have a little moment in the spotlight.
Number 7: Jacksonville, Florida (population: 911,507, 12th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
As I said things are going to get a bit more interesting from here on out. Jacksonville was featured on my top 14 list as they are the 12th overall ranked city on population. In my article I made a snarky comment about how Sarasota came into the league as a Florida rep and I had never heard of them until this moment. I am still confused to this date about the existence of Sarasota, but good news. The second most recent Ultimus winner will be moved to a city I knew existed and that city is Jacksonville. Now when I googled, ‘hey what is Jacksonville known for?’. I felt like I didn’t get a clear answer. Sure they have beaches. Beaches are nice, beaches are sandy. Jacksonville Sands doesn’t really work for me. Some websites claim it is the birthplace of Southern Rock. Which is described as a genre of rock that developed from rock and roll, country and blues. That is pretty cool. Not exactly heavy enough for me, but I can respect it. Fun coincidence, Lynyrd Skynyrd is pointed at as a Southern Rock band and their lead singer's last name is Van Zant, which I can only assume comes from dutch/german descent and means sand in those languages. I have made up my mind, from this day forth, my imaginary Jacksonville team will be known as the Jacksonville Sandkings.
Number 8: Columbus, Ohio (population: 898,553, 14th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Ohio gozaimasu as they say in Japan. The state of Ohio has 0 love in the ISFL. Every other state before this one has at least one team to its name even if it was not located in its biggest city. Ohio supports three decently large cities, obviously Columbus (14th overall), Cleveland (53rd overall), Cincinnati (64th overall) heck even Toledo (76th overall) cracks the top 100 largest cities by population. What gives ISFL why do you hate Ohio so much? Personally I kinda vibe with a Cincinnati team, but no, the dumbass who put the criteria of only using the most populated city in each state in this article prevents me from writing about a Cincinnati team. Anyways, what is Columbus known for you might ask? According to hotels.com the 4th thing on their list of what Columbus is famous for is and I do not lie to you is ‘Eat at a taco truck’. How brilliant is that? The only thing Colombians know is lie and eat at taco truck. I do not know what this says about the city of Columbus if this is their 4th most famous known thing for, but hey I am always down for some tacos. Looking at the nicknames Columbus is also known as ‘Cowtown’? I love it. Apparently some reporter for the Chicago Tribune went back home to Columbus and one of the things he took away from that experience was that he could watch cows crazy across the paddock fences at Ackerman and Kenny. Beautiful story really. Columbus Cows it is. No further name searching is required.
Number 9: Charlotte, North Carolina (population: 885,708, 15th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
At number 9 we finally move away from cities that I mentioned in the original article. Charlotte is the 15th overall team so it just missed out on a mention last time. In general if you take the cities of Chicago, Baltimore, Sarasota and New Orleans and would draw a line between all these cities. You would be left with a big ol’ square which I like to call the ISFL twilight zone. Within this zone lies the city of Jacksonville, which I talked about earlier and you will find many more cities which shall be the subject of talk today. Charlotte is one of those cities. It lies in a zone with 0 ISFL activity while being the 15th largest city. The internet defines Charlotte as a business and financial hub and also a university town with a well-educated population. Anytime there is a reason for me to think of Carolina, the Carolina Reaper always pops into my head. You might say, hey wait a minute Raven, Carolina Reaper peppers are actually from South Carolina and yes you would be correct. However I dream of a big ol unified Carolina. Joking aside, it is my list and I do not care. Now South Carolina does not have any big cities really. Charleston, South Carolina’s biggest city is only 200th on the list. Would I make a list of all the most populated cities per state and include every state they would be featured on, but this is not that list. So the town of Charlotte will be the home of the Charlotte Reapers or if you want to pay some big copyright fees I imagine, the Carolina Reapers.
Number 10: Indianapolis, Indiana (population: 876,384, 17th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Two spots further down the list we find Indianapolis, which will be our candidate from Indiana. I low key forgot the Colts existed, so I had a moment where I thought this city featured no big league teams. They also feature the Pacers, but I am not big into basketball so I will let that one slide. Now one thing I do know about Indianapolis is their love for racing. I remember the PBE has a team from Indianapolis called the Apex with a race car as their logo. So they have already jumped on that great potential branding. Looking on the internet I can see that the Indianapolis 500 really is the main attraction of the city. Now what I did find interesting is I saw the usage of the word ‘Hoosier’ come by. I had a quick little look and it is apparently a name for natives or inhabitants of the state of Indiana. Could be a cheeky little name for a team. I think it creates a kind of bond between the team and city/state that says. Yes we are like you, we live in Indiana. That is pretty cool I would have to say. It is a long standing nickname for the people who live there being first used in a poem called ‘The Hoosier’s Nest’ in 1833 by John Finley. So from henceforth the 10th ISFL team will be named the Indianapolis Hoosiers.
Number 11: Seattle, Washington (population: 753,675, 18th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
I feel like Seattle is one of those teams that always gets thrown around come expansion time. A lot of love for this city in the north west of America. Seattle is home to numerous other big sports teams and will soon also have their own NHL team. Seattle is low key the kind of city I would purposefully avoid as they are already featured in pretty much every major league sport except basketball. So here I am going to do a pro gamer move. Instead of actually doing the research myself I am going to look at the names that the NHL franchise registered for potential usage. Now the name that I really like here is the Seattle Evergreens. Which is a reference to how absolutely green the Seattle area is. I can already imagine the green uniforms and a nice logo to go with it. I am sold already, thank you for doing all the hard work NHL Seattle team. The 11th team to join the new ISFL are the Seattle Evergreens.
Number 12: Denver, Colorado (population: 727,211, 19th overall)
ISFL team: Colorado Yeti
It has been a while, but we have come back to a state that features a city that is actually in the league. The representative of Colorado is Denver and we know them as the Colorado Yeti in this league. Originally a franchise called the Denver Grizzlies, who before the start of the season rebranded to the now well known Colorado Yeti brand. What can I say about the Yeti which has not been said already. A team who has had ups and big downs. Currently the Yeti are enjoying an existence which is quite on the up. They finished last season 8-8, which saw them missing out on the playoffs by 2 wins. The Yeti’s have enjoyed a bit of success starting in S22 when they won their first Ultimus in franchise history after having lost two finals earlier in their history. S1 and S13 saw them lose out on the alluded cup. Since S22 they have reached the finals another two times, but lost them in back to back years to the San Jose Sabercats. Is their 8-8 a sign that it might be time to do a bit of retooling or will they bounce back from it like they did in S27 after a 8-8 in S26. We shall see in the upcoming season. The league's general consensus on the Yeti is very varied. With people having them at first in their division, while some doubters also have them as low as 6th overall. It will be interesting to see what the Yeti are able to achieve or will they do what the public thinks and just go down the road to another 8-8 record.
Right so at this point in the article we have come to a tad controversial point. That point being if I want to count the District of Columbia, aka DC as a state. Technically it is not a state and is a federal district. Which puts me in an awkward spot, because the 20th biggest city in the U S of A is Washington. If I include Washington on this list I would technically have included a city which is not the most populated in its state as Washington does not exist in a state. So I am sorry Washington fans, I will be rejecting Washington from this article. They are gone. Say goodbye. As much as I would enjoy a Washington team myself. I have put rules in place and I cannot be breaking them as that would show a lack of self restraint. Do not fret though, as writing this section is basically as if I wrote a team summary for them, so it is all good.
Number 13: Boston, Massachusetts (population: 692,600, 21th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
I do have to apologize for getting all emotional regarding Washington. Let us cleans the pallet with talk of Boston. Also one of those teams I feel is brought up during expansion season. Boston is the largest city in Massachusetts and also within the whole New England area. I can think of a few people who would be very happy to see a Boston team added to the league and here you go people who would enjoy that. This article should suffice until you finally get your team. Now the very first thing that got shown to me when I searched up what Boston is known for is its Baked Beans. Fuckin brilliant, I love me some baked beans and it even says here that Northern New England flavoures their Beans with Maple syrup. I love you Northern New England. Boston however uses molasses and therefore is slightly less cool than their northern brethren. One thing I have always loved about Boston is that it is entirely built around water. For real take a look at Boston and just look at how many offspring rivers from the ocean make their home inside the city. The city is known for its iconic harbor and so there might be a fun play on that in their naming scheme. Sailors, Captains, Seamen. You name it and it could make for a grand name. Admirals is one I like. The Boston Admirals. It just has a nice ring to it in my head. Admirals are I believe the highest ranked seafare officers which is nifty. So there ya have it. The second to last team that I will be putting in this list. The Boston Admirals.
Number 14: Nashville, Tennessee (population: 670,820, 23th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Hey you are the only ten I see. Now Nashville is a city that I have also loved to use when it is expansion season. As with Houston I have written about Nashville several times. One of the hardest things with Nashville though is that I can never think of a good name for a team there. Maybe because it is a city I would really like to see, that I do not just go with the very first thing I can think of like with a few of the other cities in this article so far. Nashville is known as the capital of country music. Known for the nashville chicken and other kinds of southern cooking. One of the things I always go back to when I think of Nashville is their replica of the Parthenon. It is a beautiful building and with that tie in to Greece it feels like it could be a home for a name surrounding this. The Parthenon was dedicated to the greek goddess Athena. Who is known as the goddess of wisdom, handicraft and warfare. She’s a diverse goddess who can bestow many names of Nashville. Whether it has to do with warfare or wisdom. Symbols of Athena are a spear, a distaff, her shield named the aegis. Also olive trees and her sacred animal the owl, which is a symbol of wisdom. I think I have just talked myself into naming the team the Nashville Owls. Although I am open to other names still. For now though, as it does not really matter, the league's final team will be the Nashville Owls.
Just kidding, expansion talks have been at a high for a while now and people always look forward to the next expansion. Should the league have expanded to 16 teams earlier? Who knows, probably not unless they were 100% sure. For this fun article I am just going to go ahead and say, yes the league is expanding (in this article's universe and add two more teams).
Number 15: Detroit, Michigan (population: 670,031, 24th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Detroit counted just 799 fewer people than Nashville in the 2019 census. Detroit is a weird one, thinking back to the four leagues I have been really invested in. Detroit was a minor league team in one of them and Detroit has since also made its appearance in the PBE. They feature in every major sports league and may even be a bit tiresome to see. It wouldn’t be my first choice for a team, but that does not matter here. Now Detroit is well known for their automobile industry. Besides that Quora was pretty mean to poor ol’ Detroit and basically described it as a shithole. At Least they had the Red Wings who were very dominant back in the days. The diverse culture also had influence on the music seen particularly in Motown and american techno. Perhaps Detroit could sport some kind of car related branding. This city is one I am drawing a blank for. So instead I went to look at the state and it’s symbols. The State fossil is the Mastodon which is pretty cool. I also had no idea that states had a ‘state fossils’. Mastodons were big ol wooly mammoth looking beasts. Let’s go with the Detroit Mastodons here. This is one I am really drawing at straws (Even worse than I did with Jacksonville).
Number 16: Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (population: 655,057, 25th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Well, well, well. OKC is our final 16 team league team. They have gotten luckily to be put here as I did not add Washington to my list earlier on the account of them not being from a state. Honestly Oklahoma City is not a city I think about much. Sports wise Oklahoma City only really hosts the Thunder who are in the NBA. They have a USL and Triple-A team, but besides the Thunder nothing in the major leagues. Reading the wikipedia I now know where Seattle’s NBA team went to. You know what Oklahoma city is known for? Being a can’t miss destination in cowboy country. Yeah I feel a little rivalry with Arizona here. Arizona the outlaws? Well welcome the Oklahoma City Sherrifs. Did towns in the olden days have multiple sheriffs? I do not know, I guess in a big city like OKC you might need multiple. Like I said I have just absolutely picked this brand as a rivalry brand to Arizona and I feel no shame in doing so. Sometimes these things just call out to you and then you have to react to those impulses.
Now I could either let this be the end of it all. Or, I could say yolo we are expanding again and expand the league to 20 teams. Let us go for that instead. No breaks on this train. Choo choo.
Number 17: Portland, Oregon (population: 654,741, 26th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
You cannot have a league with Seattle without a natural rival for them. That means either bringing in Vancouver, which hey this is all American based or bringing in Portland. Which is exactly what we are going to be doing here. Sim league wise Portland used to have a team in the SHL, known as the Admirals. Good thing they rebranded or else I would have had to pick a different name for Boston. Besides that it is an untapped potential gold mine for sim leagues. In the in real life sports department the team has a MLS and a NBA team. So it feels like a city that isn’t overused in real life either. Perfect for what I like seeing in sim leagues. The internet will tell you Portland is known for its Hipsters in recent times, but historically, the city is a shopping port with a strong affinity for strip clubs. That is right, it has the highest number of strip clubs per capita in the country. Very interesting fact, which I feel we cannot do too much with sadly. One of the often suggested franchises during expansion season are the Atlanta Pink Ponies, which just sounds like it was ripped off a strip club’s neon sign. It would be the perfect name to attach to this team, but I am above stealing other people's work. Please ignore the fact, I stole work from Seattle’s NHL team earlier. They are also big into craft brewing down here. Could steal the MLB’s Brewers brand. Another fun fact, according to wikipedia the name portland was chosen by a coin toss. Seeing as Seattle is known as the Evergreens and Portland’s history with a lot of woodcutting, which gave them the nickname city of stumps. It is only fair to name this team the Lumberjacks. Maybe use a nickname for lumberjacks like loggers or cruisers. So our 17th team will be the Portland Lumberjacks.
Number 18: Las Vegas, Nevada (population: 651,319, 27th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
Historically Las Vegas has had their moment in the spotlight in the ISFL. Way back between season 2 and season 5 a team by the name Las Vegas Legion made their ranks here in the league. The team was pretty bad in their time and felt like the league was working against their growth as a team. In a manner of protest ‘Las Vegas Retires Many’ happened. In which a retirement post was made in which it was expressed that a majority of the team retired. This was not a valid way for everyone besides the original poster to retire. Some more retirements followed from the actual players, but some players decided to stick around after all. The team eventually moved to New Orleans which most of the people today will know them as. I do not even have to google to know what Las Vegas is known for. The obvious name that comes to mind is the Las Vegas Aces. A quick fast snappy name. Aces comes from the card games and is british slang for ‘that is really great’. So there’s even a little something for the brits here to enjoy.
Number 19: Louisville, Kentucky (population: 617,638, 29th overall)
ISFL team: N/A
We are almost home and finished up with this thought experiment. The state of Kentucky brings us Louisville. Louisville is actually not that big into the major sports leagues. They feature no big team in the major sport leagues. Most of their sporting action comes through their colleges, with the Louisville Cardinals being a big team. Of course the big thing in Kentucky would be the Kentucky Fried Chicken. A big world wide chain of fast food fried chicken. It is also known for the Kentucky Derby, a big horse racing event. Wildfiremicro actually has an amazing branding for Louisville in the Lousville Spirits, which is a fantastic branding for a Lousville based team. I do not think I can make a better sounding team name. So I will go with the Lousville Equestrians and let Micro handle any Louisville team applications.
Number 20: Baltimore, Maryland (population: 593,490, 30th overall)
ISFL team: Baltimore Hawks
It has been a while since we last saw an established ISFL team featured on the list. As the twentieth team we are looking at are the Baltimore Hawks. It is hopefully no secret that I still love the Hawks greatly and will always hold dear memories of this franchise. They are one of the original six franchises of which only three survived in this article. Rip to the Saberkitties, Otters and Wraiths. Baltimore has recently gone fully into a rebuild as indicated by their last two seasons. S27 saw their first winless season and in S28 things were looking bleak for a long time, but in the last three weeks they were able to snag up two wins. The Hawks used to be the NSFC team with the most final appearances and the most final losses, but that has recently been picked up by the Yellowknife Wraith, who have 10 final appearances compared to the Hawks 8. They both have 6 final losses. The Hawks are going to be a very young team for a while and it will be interesting to see how they fair in a season or 5 from now. I expect good things from them.
There we have it folks. What if the league was made up of the 20 most populated cities, one from each state. This is the end result, because it is always fun to speculate let us make a little Division just for the heck of it.
Western division
Boss Division
Las Vegas Aces
Los Angeles Stars
Arizona Outlaws *Phoenix
Portland Lumberjacks
Seattle Evergreens
Tweed Division
Houston Supernovas
Oklahoma City Sherrifs
Colorado Yeti *Denver
Nashville Owls
Jacksonville Sandkings
Eastern division
Westfield Division
Chicago Butchers
Indianapolis Hoosiers
Columbus Cows
Louisville Equestrians
Detroit Mastodons
Delacour Division
Boston Admirals
Baltimore Hawks
Charlotte Reapers
New York Silverbacks
Philadelphia Liberty
So it’s a bit of a mess and there are probably teams here that you think would be much more suited to battle it out against each other. In my mind the most perfect division is the Boss Division. All the west coast teams and desert bros together. Perfect. The Tweed Division is kinda wacky, mostly because of Jacksonville and a bit of Nashville. This is mostly due to the Westfield Division, which I just had to clump together, because that geographically makes so much sense for rivalries and stuff. Finally the Delacour Division is I think the second best, all the east coast teams together with Charlotte. Also in hindsight Arizona and OKC didn't even get into the same division, atleast they are in the same conference.
At the end of the day it does not have to make sense, I am ignoring some big markets just because they are in the same state as another city, so it does not matter. This was for some wacky fun and mostly just to make mad bank.
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