05-31-2021, 10:57 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2021, 05:31 AM by Asked Madden.)
2X CLAIM POST
Ok, after what seems like (and probably has been) almost a full year of putting this off, I am back to conclude my S22 Prospect Bowl series. I need money, it is currently May 31st as I am writing this and I still haven’t used my 2x media voucher; so, here we go. In case this is the first article of mine you are seeing, I will essentially be going back through the S22 prospect bowl rosters and seeing how successful each of the players are, now that we are all in regression and our careers are coming to a close. At the end, since this is the third and final part of this article, I will be conducting my own (very in-depth and definitely not flawed) analysis and announcing my pick as to which team I believe would be victorious if the prospect bowl were to be redone with current TPE values. (STAY TUNED FOR PART 4 WHERE I WILL BE DOING THIS. RAN OUT OF TIME SO COULDN'T FIT IT IN HERE). Also, in case anyone is wondering, since I wrote all the other articles at a time when most players’ TPE values were significantly lower than theirs now I will be basing my concluding analysis on each player’s peak TPE value just to simplify things.
Team Breakdown: Since the S22 class was absolutely enormous I had to split this article up into 3 separate parts. In the first two I recapped the first 8 teams and in this part I will be recapping the final 4. Pretty simple stuff.
Jacksonville Fury
QB: Cavalier Craighorn: Starting things off with Craighorn and I’m sure the Fury won’t be happy to see that he never fully invested himself in the league. 50 TPE IA.
RB: Zed Keppler: Keppler is a bit of a step-up from Craighorn as he amassed a respectable 416 TPE at his peak. Keppler is currently a free agent but hasn’t been active since mid-September.
RB: Jacoby Bautista: Bautista got off to a good start in the league as they had earned a total of a little over 100 TPE before the end of April but they couldn’t quite keep that momentum going as Jacoby seems to have gone IA soon after that point. Their max TPE is 216. With neither their QB or RBs being very dominant TPE wise it will be interesting to see where the Fury get their offensive production from. If the Fury have any, dominant receiving weapons can only do so much when being thrown to by a 50 TPE QB.
WR: Ronan Briscoe: 69 TPE. Nice.
WR: Scott Scott: 50 TPE. Uh oh. Things aren’t looking great for the Fury offense thus far.
TE: Heath Evans: Here we go. The Fury’s first real home-run player comes in the form of Heath Evans, current TE for the Otters. Evans has been a great earner throughout his career and would provide fantastic production for the Fury, but, because Cavalier Craighorn is the one throwing him the football I am not sure how much Evans can realistically accomplish. At least he bumps up the team TPE average significantly as Evans earned a total of 1255 TPE before being robbed by regression.
TE: Jeffrey Phillips: Phillips has also been a very solid earner since beginning his career in the ISFL. He hasn’t eclipsed the TPE total of Evans but a maximum of 820 TPE is nothing to scoff at. However, I am not sure how much the Fury would benefit from having Phillips play TE. He switched to RB at some point during his career so perhaps the Fury would be more willing to use him there given their lack of stout RBs. Either way, Phillips is a welcome addition to the Jacksonville roster.
LT: Jorcher Minor: Jorcher seems to have gone IA at 60 TPE. Sure he might be slightly more productive than the average bot, but he will likely be overshadowed by some of the high TPE defensive linemen from the S22 class.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Bucky Laurence: Starting off the defensive line with Bucky Laurence, 57 TPE IA.
DT: Chad Zhao: Shame to see a great first name like Chad go to waste. Another 57 TPE IA here.
DE: Gabriel Graves: 70 TPE IA.
DE: Simeon Works: Works started their career well, earning upwards of 170 TPE before the end of April 2020, before slowing down and eventually reaching their max TPE of 374. Definitely a significant upgrade over the likes of Graves and Zhao for the Fury and given how lackluster the offensive lines for many of these teams has been, it wouldn’t surprise me to see Works perform well.
LB: Sean O'Donohue: The legend Sean O’Donohue. I don’t know what it is about this guy but his S22 DSFL season was magical. He made the pro bowl despite having earned almost no TPE and greatly helped the Coyotes make the Ultimini that year. Unfortunately, despite my frequent pings, O’Donohue never returned to the league and I believe his maximum TPE remains at 106 to this day.
LB: Lloyd Collins: Collins offers the Fury a slight upgrade over O’Donohue with a maximum of 117 TPE but the difference won’t be significant. At least both Collins and O’Donohue should have an advantage over some of the 50 TPE guys.
LB: Leo Browning: 50 TPE IA.
CB: Tyron Shields: A true lockdown #1 corner is something every team dreams of obtaining. That's exactly what the Fury have here in Shields. Shields currently plays for the Fire Salamanders and fell just short of 1300 TPE with a max of 1297. He should be able to comfortably shut down any opposing teams WR1 and will be a menace for all of the low TPE IA QBs other teams are sending out onto the field.
CB: Carlos Woods: 57 TPE IA.
CB: Jonathan Altidor: With 239 TPE, Altidor should be a great in-between player for the Fury. He won’t be good enough to cover a 1000+ TPE WR but should perform well against the more intermediate guys. Definitely a valuable addition for the Fury here.
FS: Shawn Dawkins: Dawkins headlines what has become a terrifying safety trio. I need not say more than that Dawkins hit 1478 TPE before regressing.
FS: Johnny Hellzapoppin: Hellzapoppin is the second of two crazy high earning safeties. Hellzapoppin met regression head on with 1180 TPE and will prove invaluable wherever the Fury chose to use him.
SS: LiterallyJust A. Hexagon: Hexagon is another great addition to this team. Although Colabear retired him early to start a new career, Hexagon was able to accrue just shy of 1000 TPE with 993. Given that the Fury have little need for 3 terrific safeties, it might make sense in their case to run one of the FS at corner to sure up the opposing team’s WR2. Using this strategy and keeping Dawkins and Hexagon in their intended roles should yield great results for the Fury.
K: Matthew McDairmid: Matty is probably the most underrated player on this team. Very few teams have really great kickers to rely on and given the prevalence of sub-par offenses, I wouldn’t be surprised if teams with great kickers can more reliably score points in these games. Matty regressed from 1347 TPE which is significantly more than enough to achieve tremendous success as a kicker in the ISFL. With their fantastic secondary and kicker/punter, the Fury should definitely be able to create turnovers and kick field goals somewhat reliably, a strategy that, while being unconventional, could result in great success.
Onto our next team!
Tennessee Tigercats
QB: James Carson: 69 TPE. Nice.
QB: Evan Riley: 50 TPE IA. The Tigercats had 2 QBs to maximize their odds of at least getting a productive one but neither of them ended up panning out.
RB: Acura Skyline: The Tigercats should at least expect significant production out of their primary running back, Acura Skyline. Skyline reached 949 TPE before entering regression which is definitely enough to dominate some of the weak defensive lines we have seen on other teams.
RB: Troy Pressing: 50 TPE IA.
WR: Michael Witheblock: Sakro! I’ve been lucky enough to be Witheblocks teammate at every stop in my career and I couldn’t be happier that I am able to share the field on the defensive side of the ball with him now. He is an incredible earner (1490 TPE prior to regression), GM, teammate, and player. The Tigercats got incredibly lucky landing Witheblock here and I can only hope James Carson overachieves and drops some dimes to him because Witheblock definitely deserves them!
WR: Mike Lee: Opposite Witheblock the Tigercats have a very solid #2 option in Mike Lee. Lee reached 475 TPE prior to regression and will be a nice mismatch for a lot of teams who lack cornerback depth. Shame the Tigercats don’t have a great QB to take advantage of some of these weapons.
TE: Craig Royal: 50 TPE IA.
TE: Douglas MacArthur: 72 TPE IA.
LT: Gabe Nickson: 50 TPE IA.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Archideld Bonzales: 59 TPE IA.
DT: Hank Steel: Hank Steel should be a great addition to the Tigercats roster. Most teams are in need of a big-bodied lineman capable of single handedly shutting down the run and that is something Steel is very much capable of. He entered regression with a total of 962 TPE and will be a mismatch going up against all of these BOT offensive lineman.
DE: Nathan Bourne: 57 TPE IA.
DE: James Cho: Cho will be great alongside Steel on the d-line. As a speed rusher he should have no problems rushing past the offensive lineman and getting to the QB. His 940 TPE shouldn’t hurt in that department either.
DE: Buster Brownce: 128 TPE retired.
LB: Sawyer Brutalitops: 50 TPE IA.
LB: Chudds Whittaker: 55 TPE IA.
LB: Nat Wright: 225 TPE IA.
CB: JR Maverick: 67 TPE IA.
CB: Xavier O’Doyle: 50 TPE IA.
CB: Tyler Oles Jr: I was getting a bit worried there but luckily Oles Jr is here to save the day. While the Tigercats’ defensive line looks solid on paper, they were desperately in need of a great secondary player to eliminate the deep ball. Oles regressed from a max TPE value of 1031 and should fill that need for the Tigercats without issue.
FS: Pierre Voodoo: Back to the 50 TPE IAs.
FS: Amadeus Green: Another one. 50 TPE IA.
SS: Calum Auron: Hey at least Calum earned 10 TPE before retiring. 60 TPE IA.
K: Bobby Boomski: 59 TPE IA. Overall a pretty average team here in the Tigercats. Unfortunate as their offense had the potential to be great if they could land themselves a QB.
Onto the next one!
Indianapolis Iguanas
QB: Ben Slothlisberger: Right off the bat the Iguanas get off to a terrific start with Slothlisberger. Sloth is still a productive QB in the league and currently plays for the Second Line. He managed to accrue 1378 TPE before hitting regression which allowed him to completely max out his player and carry the Second Line to prolonged success. The Iguanas also sidestep the problem multiple other teams are facing in which they lack a QB capable of throwing to their multitude of offensive weapons. It remains to be seen whether the Iguanas will face a similar, but opposite challenge with their squad.
RB: Patrick Holding: 50 TPE IA. Iguanas won’t be able to expect much out of Holding unfortunately.
RB: White Goodman: Goodman, user gucci, no longer exists. However, Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi, current defensive end for the Silverbacks, very much still does. Gucci racked up 1352 TPE before hitting regression so he should be extremely effective for the Iguanas.
WR: Curious George: 50 TPE. Love the name, sad they couldn’t build up the curiosity to investigate the league further.
WR: Cal Cutta: 126 TPE IA. Should be good for at least a little production. With the abundance of 50 TPE corners out there on some of these teams there's room for a minor mismatch here with Cal.
WR: Garfield Despacito Jr.: Forget about Cal Cutta and Curious George when you have Garfield Despacito Jr on your squad. Despacito Jr is currently a WR for the Otters and racked up a nice sum of 1088 TPE prior to regression. Sloth will definitely be happy to hear he has a great, reliable weapon on his side.
TE: John Doe: 57 TPE IA.
TE: Max McClure: 65 TPE IA. Tight end department not looking too hot for the Iguanas.
LT: Julius Augustus: 50 TPE IA. I guess having a name is a plus over the bots.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Paul Novotny: 50 TPE IA.
DT: Big Edd: Here we go. Don’t let the comparably low TPE count fool you, Big Edd has been a beast since entering the league. I believe he is a 3x DToTY at this point? Should be in the Hall of Fame once he becomes eligible. Edd also brings a great locker room presence to the table, something I haven’t noted for a lot of the guys on this list. With his on and off the field contributions, Edd is bound to become a prized possession for the Iguanas.
DE: Meep Meep: 55 TPE IA.
DE: Landon Moore: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Rainman Legends: 59 TPE IA. Defensive line, despite the presence of Edd, is a weakspot for the Iguanas. Luckily opposing offensive lines are mostly composed of BOTs or low TPE players so the Iguanas shouldn’t suffer too much as a result of this deficiency.
LB: Samuel Miller: 50 TPE IA.
LB: Fawn Dillmiballs: This name seems familiar. I feel like I know a guy who plays DT with a similar name. All jokes aside, Fawn should be a lifesaver for the Iguanas at LB. He managed to earn 1258 TPE before being demolished by regression which is more than enough to be effective against opposing offenses. Also, Fawn isn’t playing at DT in this scenario so maybe he will be good for more than 2 tackles a game.
LB: Jason Kreuscher: 57 TPE IA.
CB: Ozamataz Buckshank: 116 TPE IA. Like I have said for most of the guys with intermediate values, Buckshank should be capable of locking down most teams’ WR2/3 given his slightly elevated TPE value. At least he won’t be a liability against some of those guys.
CB: Bayden Brosley: Similar scenario here with Brosley. He had 240 TPE before regression so will likely be capable of covering low TPE offensive weapons.
FS: Sebastian Vettel: Also a similar scenario here. 179 TPE so I wouldn’t expect Vettel to be a liability at FS.
SS: Bartholomew Castor: 50 TPE. Castor likely won’t be as effective as some of his other teammates in the secondary, although the lack of a true #1 corner/safety will hurt the Iguanas against squads with a 1000+ TPE WR/TE.
K: Sam Sidekick: Overall I think special teams/offense will definitely have to thrive for the Iguanas to make it far in this tournament. Both should be capable of doing so, especially the special teams unit given the presence of Sidekick. He is one of the most reliable kickers in the league with a TPE total of 1123. Even if the offense falters at points, Sidekick should be capable of nailing field goals within 50 yards or so with ease.
And for the 12th and final team, we have…
The Houston Turtles!
QB: Sim SnowBow: Leading the Turtles is Sim SnowBow. SnowBow is another intermediate TPE guy. I am sure he will be capable of making easy reads and completing somewhat deep passes but with only 293 TPE I wouldn’t expect him to be able to carry offenses and will his team to victory.
RB: Sulu Candles: 50 TPE IA.
RB: Kichwa Jones: Kichwa Jones fills a position of need here for the Turtles. Had they been forced to run their offense through a 300 TPE QB and a pair of 50 TPE RBs I would’ve been worried for them. However, given Kichwa’s TPE total of 545 TPE, I expect him to be able to lead the team with a solid rushing attack.
WR: Henry Saxe-Coburg-Gotha: 50 TPE IA.
WR: Eddie Jeeta: Eddie! Official member of the Yeet squad and just a great user in general. Unfortunately, Eddie seems to have gone IA in March so his final TPE total is significantly lower than what it could have been. Still though, Eddie’s 906 TPE is nothing to scoff at, and I am sure SnowBow will greatly appreciate having such an incredible player to throw to.
WR: DeSean Hill: 50 TPE IA.
TE: Nick Marksman: The Turtles have a solid TE here in Marksman. Like I have mentioned a million times before, I would expect some of these intermediate TPE guys to have significant impacts in the games they play in. Marksman entered regression with 269 TPE which should be enough to beat some low TPE linebackers in coverage.
TE: Rondo Jones: 83 TPE IA.
LT: Fernando Cruz: 57 TPE IA. I was hoping the Turtles would have a cornerstone offensive lineman to protect SnowBow but unfortunately that is not the case.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Octavio Clemente: Octavio had me stumped for a second. I knew the Clemente part but Billybolo must have changed the first name from Octavio to Cuco at some point down the line. That doesn’t change the fact that Cuco should be a fantastic player here for the Turtles’ defense. Cuco is a great locker room presence and has remained active in the Sarasota locker room since day 1. Also, Cuco boasts a ridiculous 1483 max TPE value which is insane, way more than what is required to max out your average build. The Turtles could probably put Cuco out there alone against 5 BOTs and he would still reach the QB without breaking a sweat. Great player here for the Turtles and someone I expect would make a huge impact in almost every game.
DT: Leland Breeland: 60 TPE IA.
DE: Denshawn Jenkins: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Farrior Deschain: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Justice Wolfe: 52 TPE IA. Maybe what I said about Cuco being out there against 5 BOTs by himself isn’t as far from what would actually take place...
LB: Samuel L Sackson Senior: Another intermediate guy here, 190 TPE IA.
LB: Calvin McMann: 50 TPE IA.
LB: George Fisher: George ‘Corpse Grinder’ Fisher is the saving grace of this linebacker core. With a peak TPE of 995, Fisher far surpasses most of his Turtles teammates and most of the weapons he would be facing on the field. I would expect him (provided there aren’t any great Turtles defensive players I have yet to cover) and Cuco to lead this defense well despite its flaws.
CB: Eldrick Avery: As it turns out the Turtles do have more in store on the defensive side. Avery would be a terrific #1 corner for the Turtles with a peak TPE of 1170. Add Avery to the list of players I would expect to lead this defensive unit.
CB: Jay Signs: 50 TPE IA.
FS: Hamish MacAndrew: Add Hamish MacAndrew to that list as well! As I look back over this defense as a whole it seems to be one of only a few where each position group has an elite player in it. This is something that will definitely work to their advantage as for each elite defensive player there is one corresponding offensive player they can effectively neutralize or at least slow down. When there are offensive superstars matched up with 50 TPE IA corners almost nothing good will come of it for the defense. Thus, the Iguanas should consider themselves lucky to be able to round out their defense with a 949 TPE safety.
SS: Eric Barlow: Eric Barlow, AKA Ragnar Rok, had a tumultuous career with the Sailfish in S22. He got off to a great start earning wise, quickly racking up 380 TPE, but called it quits after 1 season. Thiath is back however and has recreated with a defensive end who has quickly made their way up the TPE leaderboards.
K: Pseudo QB: Pseudo is someone I would define as an intermediate kicker, but with a high of 317 TPE, his production should still be solid. Pseudo likely won’t be bombing balls like Matty or Sidekick but extra points and kicks within about 30-40 yards should be easy money. The Iguanas don’t get anything crazy here with Pseudo but he should be a reliable addition to the team.
Well I don’t think I’ll have time to get to the games in this article now that I think about it. It is currently 10:30 Central Time, meaning I have about 30 minutes to get this posted to the forums before my 2x voucher becomes void. I think I will break down the average TPE values for each team just to give a rough estimate and see if I can find any outliers. Of course, that means going through each team and summing up the values (not the ones I included in the past 2 articles as those are very outdated at this point).
Buffalo Ramblers: 281.8 TPE/player
New England Atoms: 227 TPE/player
New York Poodles: 398 TPE/player. Our first major outlier here with the Poodles. They have nearly double the average TPE of the other teams I’ve done so far.
Miami Grenadiers: 470 TPE/player. The Grenadiers topple the Poodles as the leading average TPE team and I think it will be hard to beat 470 TPE/player.
Well that’s going to wrap it up for this article. I finished the teams at least and got started on some of the analysis I will be doing for the games. Keep an eye out for the next article in which I will take a look back at each of the games and do my best to determine which team I believe would win if the rosters were up to date and each player had their max ever TPE value. If you read this through to the end, first of all, I have no idea why you would do such a thing, and secondly, thanks a lot. I did this mainly for the money so its probably not the best thing you will ever read but if someone can get some enjoyment out of it, thats a great added bonus. See you in part 4!
Ok, after what seems like (and probably has been) almost a full year of putting this off, I am back to conclude my S22 Prospect Bowl series. I need money, it is currently May 31st as I am writing this and I still haven’t used my 2x media voucher; so, here we go. In case this is the first article of mine you are seeing, I will essentially be going back through the S22 prospect bowl rosters and seeing how successful each of the players are, now that we are all in regression and our careers are coming to a close. At the end, since this is the third and final part of this article, I will be conducting my own (very in-depth and definitely not flawed) analysis and announcing my pick as to which team I believe would be victorious if the prospect bowl were to be redone with current TPE values. (STAY TUNED FOR PART 4 WHERE I WILL BE DOING THIS. RAN OUT OF TIME SO COULDN'T FIT IT IN HERE). Also, in case anyone is wondering, since I wrote all the other articles at a time when most players’ TPE values were significantly lower than theirs now I will be basing my concluding analysis on each player’s peak TPE value just to simplify things.
Team Breakdown: Since the S22 class was absolutely enormous I had to split this article up into 3 separate parts. In the first two I recapped the first 8 teams and in this part I will be recapping the final 4. Pretty simple stuff.
Jacksonville Fury
QB: Cavalier Craighorn: Starting things off with Craighorn and I’m sure the Fury won’t be happy to see that he never fully invested himself in the league. 50 TPE IA.
RB: Zed Keppler: Keppler is a bit of a step-up from Craighorn as he amassed a respectable 416 TPE at his peak. Keppler is currently a free agent but hasn’t been active since mid-September.
RB: Jacoby Bautista: Bautista got off to a good start in the league as they had earned a total of a little over 100 TPE before the end of April but they couldn’t quite keep that momentum going as Jacoby seems to have gone IA soon after that point. Their max TPE is 216. With neither their QB or RBs being very dominant TPE wise it will be interesting to see where the Fury get their offensive production from. If the Fury have any, dominant receiving weapons can only do so much when being thrown to by a 50 TPE QB.
WR: Ronan Briscoe: 69 TPE. Nice.
WR: Scott Scott: 50 TPE. Uh oh. Things aren’t looking great for the Fury offense thus far.
TE: Heath Evans: Here we go. The Fury’s first real home-run player comes in the form of Heath Evans, current TE for the Otters. Evans has been a great earner throughout his career and would provide fantastic production for the Fury, but, because Cavalier Craighorn is the one throwing him the football I am not sure how much Evans can realistically accomplish. At least he bumps up the team TPE average significantly as Evans earned a total of 1255 TPE before being robbed by regression.
TE: Jeffrey Phillips: Phillips has also been a very solid earner since beginning his career in the ISFL. He hasn’t eclipsed the TPE total of Evans but a maximum of 820 TPE is nothing to scoff at. However, I am not sure how much the Fury would benefit from having Phillips play TE. He switched to RB at some point during his career so perhaps the Fury would be more willing to use him there given their lack of stout RBs. Either way, Phillips is a welcome addition to the Jacksonville roster.
LT: Jorcher Minor: Jorcher seems to have gone IA at 60 TPE. Sure he might be slightly more productive than the average bot, but he will likely be overshadowed by some of the high TPE defensive linemen from the S22 class.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Bucky Laurence: Starting off the defensive line with Bucky Laurence, 57 TPE IA.
DT: Chad Zhao: Shame to see a great first name like Chad go to waste. Another 57 TPE IA here.
DE: Gabriel Graves: 70 TPE IA.
DE: Simeon Works: Works started their career well, earning upwards of 170 TPE before the end of April 2020, before slowing down and eventually reaching their max TPE of 374. Definitely a significant upgrade over the likes of Graves and Zhao for the Fury and given how lackluster the offensive lines for many of these teams has been, it wouldn’t surprise me to see Works perform well.
LB: Sean O'Donohue: The legend Sean O’Donohue. I don’t know what it is about this guy but his S22 DSFL season was magical. He made the pro bowl despite having earned almost no TPE and greatly helped the Coyotes make the Ultimini that year. Unfortunately, despite my frequent pings, O’Donohue never returned to the league and I believe his maximum TPE remains at 106 to this day.
LB: Lloyd Collins: Collins offers the Fury a slight upgrade over O’Donohue with a maximum of 117 TPE but the difference won’t be significant. At least both Collins and O’Donohue should have an advantage over some of the 50 TPE guys.
LB: Leo Browning: 50 TPE IA.
CB: Tyron Shields: A true lockdown #1 corner is something every team dreams of obtaining. That's exactly what the Fury have here in Shields. Shields currently plays for the Fire Salamanders and fell just short of 1300 TPE with a max of 1297. He should be able to comfortably shut down any opposing teams WR1 and will be a menace for all of the low TPE IA QBs other teams are sending out onto the field.
CB: Carlos Woods: 57 TPE IA.
CB: Jonathan Altidor: With 239 TPE, Altidor should be a great in-between player for the Fury. He won’t be good enough to cover a 1000+ TPE WR but should perform well against the more intermediate guys. Definitely a valuable addition for the Fury here.
FS: Shawn Dawkins: Dawkins headlines what has become a terrifying safety trio. I need not say more than that Dawkins hit 1478 TPE before regressing.
FS: Johnny Hellzapoppin: Hellzapoppin is the second of two crazy high earning safeties. Hellzapoppin met regression head on with 1180 TPE and will prove invaluable wherever the Fury chose to use him.
SS: LiterallyJust A. Hexagon: Hexagon is another great addition to this team. Although Colabear retired him early to start a new career, Hexagon was able to accrue just shy of 1000 TPE with 993. Given that the Fury have little need for 3 terrific safeties, it might make sense in their case to run one of the FS at corner to sure up the opposing team’s WR2. Using this strategy and keeping Dawkins and Hexagon in their intended roles should yield great results for the Fury.
K: Matthew McDairmid: Matty is probably the most underrated player on this team. Very few teams have really great kickers to rely on and given the prevalence of sub-par offenses, I wouldn’t be surprised if teams with great kickers can more reliably score points in these games. Matty regressed from 1347 TPE which is significantly more than enough to achieve tremendous success as a kicker in the ISFL. With their fantastic secondary and kicker/punter, the Fury should definitely be able to create turnovers and kick field goals somewhat reliably, a strategy that, while being unconventional, could result in great success.
Onto our next team!
Tennessee Tigercats
QB: James Carson: 69 TPE. Nice.
QB: Evan Riley: 50 TPE IA. The Tigercats had 2 QBs to maximize their odds of at least getting a productive one but neither of them ended up panning out.
RB: Acura Skyline: The Tigercats should at least expect significant production out of their primary running back, Acura Skyline. Skyline reached 949 TPE before entering regression which is definitely enough to dominate some of the weak defensive lines we have seen on other teams.
RB: Troy Pressing: 50 TPE IA.
WR: Michael Witheblock: Sakro! I’ve been lucky enough to be Witheblocks teammate at every stop in my career and I couldn’t be happier that I am able to share the field on the defensive side of the ball with him now. He is an incredible earner (1490 TPE prior to regression), GM, teammate, and player. The Tigercats got incredibly lucky landing Witheblock here and I can only hope James Carson overachieves and drops some dimes to him because Witheblock definitely deserves them!
WR: Mike Lee: Opposite Witheblock the Tigercats have a very solid #2 option in Mike Lee. Lee reached 475 TPE prior to regression and will be a nice mismatch for a lot of teams who lack cornerback depth. Shame the Tigercats don’t have a great QB to take advantage of some of these weapons.
TE: Craig Royal: 50 TPE IA.
TE: Douglas MacArthur: 72 TPE IA.
LT: Gabe Nickson: 50 TPE IA.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Archideld Bonzales: 59 TPE IA.
DT: Hank Steel: Hank Steel should be a great addition to the Tigercats roster. Most teams are in need of a big-bodied lineman capable of single handedly shutting down the run and that is something Steel is very much capable of. He entered regression with a total of 962 TPE and will be a mismatch going up against all of these BOT offensive lineman.
DE: Nathan Bourne: 57 TPE IA.
DE: James Cho: Cho will be great alongside Steel on the d-line. As a speed rusher he should have no problems rushing past the offensive lineman and getting to the QB. His 940 TPE shouldn’t hurt in that department either.
DE: Buster Brownce: 128 TPE retired.
LB: Sawyer Brutalitops: 50 TPE IA.
LB: Chudds Whittaker: 55 TPE IA.
LB: Nat Wright: 225 TPE IA.
CB: JR Maverick: 67 TPE IA.
CB: Xavier O’Doyle: 50 TPE IA.
CB: Tyler Oles Jr: I was getting a bit worried there but luckily Oles Jr is here to save the day. While the Tigercats’ defensive line looks solid on paper, they were desperately in need of a great secondary player to eliminate the deep ball. Oles regressed from a max TPE value of 1031 and should fill that need for the Tigercats without issue.
FS: Pierre Voodoo: Back to the 50 TPE IAs.
FS: Amadeus Green: Another one. 50 TPE IA.
SS: Calum Auron: Hey at least Calum earned 10 TPE before retiring. 60 TPE IA.
K: Bobby Boomski: 59 TPE IA. Overall a pretty average team here in the Tigercats. Unfortunate as their offense had the potential to be great if they could land themselves a QB.
Onto the next one!
Indianapolis Iguanas
QB: Ben Slothlisberger: Right off the bat the Iguanas get off to a terrific start with Slothlisberger. Sloth is still a productive QB in the league and currently plays for the Second Line. He managed to accrue 1378 TPE before hitting regression which allowed him to completely max out his player and carry the Second Line to prolonged success. The Iguanas also sidestep the problem multiple other teams are facing in which they lack a QB capable of throwing to their multitude of offensive weapons. It remains to be seen whether the Iguanas will face a similar, but opposite challenge with their squad.
RB: Patrick Holding: 50 TPE IA. Iguanas won’t be able to expect much out of Holding unfortunately.
RB: White Goodman: Goodman, user gucci, no longer exists. However, Keʻokeʻo Kāne-Maikaʻi, current defensive end for the Silverbacks, very much still does. Gucci racked up 1352 TPE before hitting regression so he should be extremely effective for the Iguanas.
WR: Curious George: 50 TPE. Love the name, sad they couldn’t build up the curiosity to investigate the league further.
WR: Cal Cutta: 126 TPE IA. Should be good for at least a little production. With the abundance of 50 TPE corners out there on some of these teams there's room for a minor mismatch here with Cal.
WR: Garfield Despacito Jr.: Forget about Cal Cutta and Curious George when you have Garfield Despacito Jr on your squad. Despacito Jr is currently a WR for the Otters and racked up a nice sum of 1088 TPE prior to regression. Sloth will definitely be happy to hear he has a great, reliable weapon on his side.
TE: John Doe: 57 TPE IA.
TE: Max McClure: 65 TPE IA. Tight end department not looking too hot for the Iguanas.
LT: Julius Augustus: 50 TPE IA. I guess having a name is a plus over the bots.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Paul Novotny: 50 TPE IA.
DT: Big Edd: Here we go. Don’t let the comparably low TPE count fool you, Big Edd has been a beast since entering the league. I believe he is a 3x DToTY at this point? Should be in the Hall of Fame once he becomes eligible. Edd also brings a great locker room presence to the table, something I haven’t noted for a lot of the guys on this list. With his on and off the field contributions, Edd is bound to become a prized possession for the Iguanas.
DE: Meep Meep: 55 TPE IA.
DE: Landon Moore: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Rainman Legends: 59 TPE IA. Defensive line, despite the presence of Edd, is a weakspot for the Iguanas. Luckily opposing offensive lines are mostly composed of BOTs or low TPE players so the Iguanas shouldn’t suffer too much as a result of this deficiency.
LB: Samuel Miller: 50 TPE IA.
LB: Fawn Dillmiballs: This name seems familiar. I feel like I know a guy who plays DT with a similar name. All jokes aside, Fawn should be a lifesaver for the Iguanas at LB. He managed to earn 1258 TPE before being demolished by regression which is more than enough to be effective against opposing offenses. Also, Fawn isn’t playing at DT in this scenario so maybe he will be good for more than 2 tackles a game.
LB: Jason Kreuscher: 57 TPE IA.
CB: Ozamataz Buckshank: 116 TPE IA. Like I have said for most of the guys with intermediate values, Buckshank should be capable of locking down most teams’ WR2/3 given his slightly elevated TPE value. At least he won’t be a liability against some of those guys.
CB: Bayden Brosley: Similar scenario here with Brosley. He had 240 TPE before regression so will likely be capable of covering low TPE offensive weapons.
FS: Sebastian Vettel: Also a similar scenario here. 179 TPE so I wouldn’t expect Vettel to be a liability at FS.
SS: Bartholomew Castor: 50 TPE. Castor likely won’t be as effective as some of his other teammates in the secondary, although the lack of a true #1 corner/safety will hurt the Iguanas against squads with a 1000+ TPE WR/TE.
K: Sam Sidekick: Overall I think special teams/offense will definitely have to thrive for the Iguanas to make it far in this tournament. Both should be capable of doing so, especially the special teams unit given the presence of Sidekick. He is one of the most reliable kickers in the league with a TPE total of 1123. Even if the offense falters at points, Sidekick should be capable of nailing field goals within 50 yards or so with ease.
And for the 12th and final team, we have…
The Houston Turtles!
QB: Sim SnowBow: Leading the Turtles is Sim SnowBow. SnowBow is another intermediate TPE guy. I am sure he will be capable of making easy reads and completing somewhat deep passes but with only 293 TPE I wouldn’t expect him to be able to carry offenses and will his team to victory.
RB: Sulu Candles: 50 TPE IA.
RB: Kichwa Jones: Kichwa Jones fills a position of need here for the Turtles. Had they been forced to run their offense through a 300 TPE QB and a pair of 50 TPE RBs I would’ve been worried for them. However, given Kichwa’s TPE total of 545 TPE, I expect him to be able to lead the team with a solid rushing attack.
WR: Henry Saxe-Coburg-Gotha: 50 TPE IA.
WR: Eddie Jeeta: Eddie! Official member of the Yeet squad and just a great user in general. Unfortunately, Eddie seems to have gone IA in March so his final TPE total is significantly lower than what it could have been. Still though, Eddie’s 906 TPE is nothing to scoff at, and I am sure SnowBow will greatly appreciate having such an incredible player to throw to.
WR: DeSean Hill: 50 TPE IA.
TE: Nick Marksman: The Turtles have a solid TE here in Marksman. Like I have mentioned a million times before, I would expect some of these intermediate TPE guys to have significant impacts in the games they play in. Marksman entered regression with 269 TPE which should be enough to beat some low TPE linebackers in coverage.
TE: Rondo Jones: 83 TPE IA.
LT: Fernando Cruz: 57 TPE IA. I was hoping the Turtles would have a cornerstone offensive lineman to protect SnowBow but unfortunately that is not the case.
RT: BOT
LG: BOT
RG: BOT
C: BOT
DT: Octavio Clemente: Octavio had me stumped for a second. I knew the Clemente part but Billybolo must have changed the first name from Octavio to Cuco at some point down the line. That doesn’t change the fact that Cuco should be a fantastic player here for the Turtles’ defense. Cuco is a great locker room presence and has remained active in the Sarasota locker room since day 1. Also, Cuco boasts a ridiculous 1483 max TPE value which is insane, way more than what is required to max out your average build. The Turtles could probably put Cuco out there alone against 5 BOTs and he would still reach the QB without breaking a sweat. Great player here for the Turtles and someone I expect would make a huge impact in almost every game.
DT: Leland Breeland: 60 TPE IA.
DE: Denshawn Jenkins: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Farrior Deschain: 59 TPE IA.
DE: Justice Wolfe: 52 TPE IA. Maybe what I said about Cuco being out there against 5 BOTs by himself isn’t as far from what would actually take place...
LB: Samuel L Sackson Senior: Another intermediate guy here, 190 TPE IA.
LB: Calvin McMann: 50 TPE IA.
LB: George Fisher: George ‘Corpse Grinder’ Fisher is the saving grace of this linebacker core. With a peak TPE of 995, Fisher far surpasses most of his Turtles teammates and most of the weapons he would be facing on the field. I would expect him (provided there aren’t any great Turtles defensive players I have yet to cover) and Cuco to lead this defense well despite its flaws.
CB: Eldrick Avery: As it turns out the Turtles do have more in store on the defensive side. Avery would be a terrific #1 corner for the Turtles with a peak TPE of 1170. Add Avery to the list of players I would expect to lead this defensive unit.
CB: Jay Signs: 50 TPE IA.
FS: Hamish MacAndrew: Add Hamish MacAndrew to that list as well! As I look back over this defense as a whole it seems to be one of only a few where each position group has an elite player in it. This is something that will definitely work to their advantage as for each elite defensive player there is one corresponding offensive player they can effectively neutralize or at least slow down. When there are offensive superstars matched up with 50 TPE IA corners almost nothing good will come of it for the defense. Thus, the Iguanas should consider themselves lucky to be able to round out their defense with a 949 TPE safety.
SS: Eric Barlow: Eric Barlow, AKA Ragnar Rok, had a tumultuous career with the Sailfish in S22. He got off to a great start earning wise, quickly racking up 380 TPE, but called it quits after 1 season. Thiath is back however and has recreated with a defensive end who has quickly made their way up the TPE leaderboards.
K: Pseudo QB: Pseudo is someone I would define as an intermediate kicker, but with a high of 317 TPE, his production should still be solid. Pseudo likely won’t be bombing balls like Matty or Sidekick but extra points and kicks within about 30-40 yards should be easy money. The Iguanas don’t get anything crazy here with Pseudo but he should be a reliable addition to the team.
Well I don’t think I’ll have time to get to the games in this article now that I think about it. It is currently 10:30 Central Time, meaning I have about 30 minutes to get this posted to the forums before my 2x voucher becomes void. I think I will break down the average TPE values for each team just to give a rough estimate and see if I can find any outliers. Of course, that means going through each team and summing up the values (not the ones I included in the past 2 articles as those are very outdated at this point).
Buffalo Ramblers: 281.8 TPE/player
New England Atoms: 227 TPE/player
New York Poodles: 398 TPE/player. Our first major outlier here with the Poodles. They have nearly double the average TPE of the other teams I’ve done so far.
Miami Grenadiers: 470 TPE/player. The Grenadiers topple the Poodles as the leading average TPE team and I think it will be hard to beat 470 TPE/player.
Well that’s going to wrap it up for this article. I finished the teams at least and got started on some of the analysis I will be doing for the games. Keep an eye out for the next article in which I will take a look back at each of the games and do my best to determine which team I believe would win if the rosters were up to date and each player had their max ever TPE value. If you read this through to the end, first of all, I have no idea why you would do such a thing, and secondly, thanks a lot. I did this mainly for the money so its probably not the best thing you will ever read but if someone can get some enjoyment out of it, thats a great added bonus. See you in part 4!