06-02-2021, 12:30 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2021, 05:54 AM by Asked Madden.)
This story will be a bit weird in terms of formatting but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless:
An ESPN Sportscenter logo shows up on the screen of the TV which shows the logo of a show called Simcenter AM
Newscaster: "This just in! Due to a controversial play at various Philadelphia Liberty practices the ISFL is planning on making a new rule effective soon known as the Tsuyu Asui Rule: Player can no longer catch the football with thier tongues or it will be considered dead. The 4 year Liberty wide receiver was filmed practicing a new play where it appears that the whole goal was to have it where Tsuyu Asui aim is to catch the football with her rather large tongue. The Rules Committee representative has this to say:"
"Look the saliva of the tongue would make it so that the football would be extremely hard to play with due to it making the ball slippery. Also we are trying our best to have a level playing field and we feel like her tongue would lead to an unfair advantage. All this rule is for is for every to have an equal chance."
"Now this ruling has caused a stir within the Philadelphia faithful, and a longtime Liberty fan named Randy Martin had this to say:"
"An unfair advantage? Seriously? She literally cannot help the fact that she has a rather long tongue. It's not like she is taking performance enchantment for that. Just a perfect example of this league being the no fun league I swear."
For thier part, the Philadelphia coach had this to say about the play that caused the whole controversy:
"To be fair I do not know if we would have called the play in an actual game because it's effectiveness has been mixed. But I feel like the ruling is a way to limit our offensive effectiveness and I do not agree with it. I mean we let an actual moose play football and there are no limitations on him! So why is the league making this on specific rule to limit our up and coming receiver?"
By this point a different newscaster in the Simcenter station speaks up:
"I'm personally gonna side with the Liberty on this one. The reason is that why are we limiting one players special effectiveness if we do not do that for the other players? If the ISFL is really trying to do this for the benefit of fairness I can tell you a whole bunch of rules that could limit other superhumans in the league. If that is thier eventual aim then OK I can see that. But if it is not, then ultimately why bother? It just seems extremely odd that this ruling comes up right when a controversial play happens. Why did they not address this earlier and why only for this player is all I am saying"
Another newscaster then says this:
"Well it's the ISFL having to address this sooner or later and they decided to quickly stop it before it becomes a problem because we all know it would have if it was allowed to. Do you honestly believe that the Liberty would not have immediately taken advantage of this loophole in the rulebook if they didn't put this new rule in? Trust me if I was the Liberty I would take all kinds of advantage of it. I think the ISFL mace a good ruling here."
"Then answer me this: why just her and why just now? They haven't done much about things like this for other players and we know that they probably would have not done anything about this had someone not filmed the practice with the play in it. Speaking of that: who filmed the practice? Have we ever found the culprit? It was supposed to be a private practice so who got in?"
"Honestly no one knows as it was just delivered to the ISFL offices. And that is admittedly a big part of this story which the league is definitely investigating and thier is a part of me that does question the ISFL using this footage to justify the rule change. Why in the world would you just use a video that was delivered to you with no return address or anything like that? That is very mysterious and questionable."
And of course they had to ask Tsuyu what she had to say about the whole situation and she seemed quite upset:
"Why now? I had finally figured out a way to not have as much saliva on the ball as I usually do when I try to catch with my tongue. I am definitely going to appeal and fight this new rule as I don't find it fair. I mean why just me?"
When they managed to catch her she was eating at the local cheesesteak restaurant where it seemed she had a whole bunch of supporters
"It's also honestly extremely frustrating to me that the league chose to enact this rule right in the middle of the league season. It just means a whole bunch of mental frustrations. Why not just do this at the end of the season like you normally do? It just makes me a bit mad and it makes it harder to focus. But don't worry I'll be focused in time for the game against Colorado."
Her teammate Jimi DeSoto had something to say as well:
"That girl is usually hard to read but today I can tell she is angry. The whole thing just seems like a knee-jerk reaction to a controversy. I just hope we can figure it all out sooner rather then later and just put it all behind us."
The first newscaster then says: "the ISFL will plan on listening to appeals to the new rule soon. This has been a Simcenter special report and we thank you for watching"
And I thank you all for reading! I know this is weird compared to my usual stories but I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope to see you all on the field!
An ESPN Sportscenter logo shows up on the screen of the TV which shows the logo of a show called Simcenter AM
Newscaster: "This just in! Due to a controversial play at various Philadelphia Liberty practices the ISFL is planning on making a new rule effective soon known as the Tsuyu Asui Rule: Player can no longer catch the football with thier tongues or it will be considered dead. The 4 year Liberty wide receiver was filmed practicing a new play where it appears that the whole goal was to have it where Tsuyu Asui aim is to catch the football with her rather large tongue. The Rules Committee representative has this to say:"
"Look the saliva of the tongue would make it so that the football would be extremely hard to play with due to it making the ball slippery. Also we are trying our best to have a level playing field and we feel like her tongue would lead to an unfair advantage. All this rule is for is for every to have an equal chance."
"Now this ruling has caused a stir within the Philadelphia faithful, and a longtime Liberty fan named Randy Martin had this to say:"
"An unfair advantage? Seriously? She literally cannot help the fact that she has a rather long tongue. It's not like she is taking performance enchantment for that. Just a perfect example of this league being the no fun league I swear."
For thier part, the Philadelphia coach had this to say about the play that caused the whole controversy:
"To be fair I do not know if we would have called the play in an actual game because it's effectiveness has been mixed. But I feel like the ruling is a way to limit our offensive effectiveness and I do not agree with it. I mean we let an actual moose play football and there are no limitations on him! So why is the league making this on specific rule to limit our up and coming receiver?"
By this point a different newscaster in the Simcenter station speaks up:
"I'm personally gonna side with the Liberty on this one. The reason is that why are we limiting one players special effectiveness if we do not do that for the other players? If the ISFL is really trying to do this for the benefit of fairness I can tell you a whole bunch of rules that could limit other superhumans in the league. If that is thier eventual aim then OK I can see that. But if it is not, then ultimately why bother? It just seems extremely odd that this ruling comes up right when a controversial play happens. Why did they not address this earlier and why only for this player is all I am saying"
Another newscaster then says this:
"Well it's the ISFL having to address this sooner or later and they decided to quickly stop it before it becomes a problem because we all know it would have if it was allowed to. Do you honestly believe that the Liberty would not have immediately taken advantage of this loophole in the rulebook if they didn't put this new rule in? Trust me if I was the Liberty I would take all kinds of advantage of it. I think the ISFL mace a good ruling here."
"Then answer me this: why just her and why just now? They haven't done much about things like this for other players and we know that they probably would have not done anything about this had someone not filmed the practice with the play in it. Speaking of that: who filmed the practice? Have we ever found the culprit? It was supposed to be a private practice so who got in?"
"Honestly no one knows as it was just delivered to the ISFL offices. And that is admittedly a big part of this story which the league is definitely investigating and thier is a part of me that does question the ISFL using this footage to justify the rule change. Why in the world would you just use a video that was delivered to you with no return address or anything like that? That is very mysterious and questionable."
And of course they had to ask Tsuyu what she had to say about the whole situation and she seemed quite upset:
"Why now? I had finally figured out a way to not have as much saliva on the ball as I usually do when I try to catch with my tongue. I am definitely going to appeal and fight this new rule as I don't find it fair. I mean why just me?"
When they managed to catch her she was eating at the local cheesesteak restaurant where it seemed she had a whole bunch of supporters
"It's also honestly extremely frustrating to me that the league chose to enact this rule right in the middle of the league season. It just means a whole bunch of mental frustrations. Why not just do this at the end of the season like you normally do? It just makes me a bit mad and it makes it harder to focus. But don't worry I'll be focused in time for the game against Colorado."
Her teammate Jimi DeSoto had something to say as well:
"That girl is usually hard to read but today I can tell she is angry. The whole thing just seems like a knee-jerk reaction to a controversy. I just hope we can figure it all out sooner rather then later and just put it all behind us."
The first newscaster then says: "the ISFL will plan on listening to appeals to the new rule soon. This has been a Simcenter special report and we thank you for watching"
And I thank you all for reading! I know this is weird compared to my usual stories but I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope to see you all on the field!