As many of you know, free agency exists. It is a completely made-up construct, but it is useful. It allows for users and players alike to exit tough situations, find greener pastures, or just make bank for their poor bank accounts. I am a member who hopes to do the latter with my free agency. Money? Money. I am a man who likes money. Not spending money hurts, because it means I have no money. You could call me an Olive Garden because I want unlimited bread. But how does someone like me go about unlimited bread? Let’s find out.
I am entering a crossroads in my career. I have been on a contract before, and I am no longer going to be under contract. That’s just something I can’t wrap my head around. Now that the necessary precursor on free agency is out of the way, I will give some random stats to put into context, free agency.
I have spent more than 1 season in the ISFL with Austin as a Copperhead. Candice D. Fitinyomouf has tackled at least 5 people in their time, I don’t think he’s had an interception but crazier things have happened. Sacks have also happened. Austin and Norfolk have also made the playoffs in the first year of Fitinyomouf’s tenure. Coincidence? I think not.
Earning wise you can do better but this is really just to fill space and acknowledge my flaws in the middle of a paragraph I assume most people won’t read. I’ve given out boring stats, made money jokes, and described the concept of free agency. There’s really no purpose to read this other than the idea I am getting slightly sappy in mentioning how painful it is to maybe move on from Austin and have to like, actually talk to GM’s, but it’s only vaguely hinted at so who knows? In fact, like any good FA post I am not going to say whether or not I will go to FA. It will be left up to chance. Back to my flaws, I care too much about the league and my teammates simply love me too much. I always get messages saying “you’re so great” or “you really know how to drink alcohol without throwing up” all the time.
After turning around the whole “flaws” conversation back into pumping myself up I will get legitimately (actually not tho) sappy and discuss how great the last few seasons in Austin have been, and despite not reaching the precipice of the finals again, I’m really okay with that and just love my teammates even though I am writing a media piece that heavily implies I will be leaving them. Now I am going to namedrop people. Mooty. Kyle. Amid. Valor. Kya. Tonzy. They are all people and they are all in the Copperhead locker room. Ain’t that something? Perhaps a fancy thank you could be thrown somewhere in this paragraph too. Anything to make you think it’s the end paragraph but it isn’t really the ending paragraph.
For the real end paragraph, I’d like to use an extra space. Really draw attention to the fact that this is very much the end of a media piece and not baiting people into reading this last paragraph. I’ll even include a FINAL plea for teams to talk to me and give me a chance to win the championship and give me a lot of money, because those two ideas coexist very well. Against all odds this actually is the final paragraph and this is where I’m really dropping the hammer.
I am going to be testing free agency when it opens up, which is why I have already signed a contract extension with Austin for the next three seasons in the time it took people to read this free agency post, effectively making it useless. Despite the inarguable lack of use for this post I have completed the required media piece drumming up free agency interest/controversy in someone who is just going to re-sign with their old team.
I am entering a crossroads in my career. I have been on a contract before, and I am no longer going to be under contract. That’s just something I can’t wrap my head around. Now that the necessary precursor on free agency is out of the way, I will give some random stats to put into context, free agency.
I have spent more than 1 season in the ISFL with Austin as a Copperhead. Candice D. Fitinyomouf has tackled at least 5 people in their time, I don’t think he’s had an interception but crazier things have happened. Sacks have also happened. Austin and Norfolk have also made the playoffs in the first year of Fitinyomouf’s tenure. Coincidence? I think not.
Earning wise you can do better but this is really just to fill space and acknowledge my flaws in the middle of a paragraph I assume most people won’t read. I’ve given out boring stats, made money jokes, and described the concept of free agency. There’s really no purpose to read this other than the idea I am getting slightly sappy in mentioning how painful it is to maybe move on from Austin and have to like, actually talk to GM’s, but it’s only vaguely hinted at so who knows? In fact, like any good FA post I am not going to say whether or not I will go to FA. It will be left up to chance. Back to my flaws, I care too much about the league and my teammates simply love me too much. I always get messages saying “you’re so great” or “you really know how to drink alcohol without throwing up” all the time.
After turning around the whole “flaws” conversation back into pumping myself up I will get legitimately (actually not tho) sappy and discuss how great the last few seasons in Austin have been, and despite not reaching the precipice of the finals again, I’m really okay with that and just love my teammates even though I am writing a media piece that heavily implies I will be leaving them. Now I am going to namedrop people. Mooty. Kyle. Amid. Valor. Kya. Tonzy. They are all people and they are all in the Copperhead locker room. Ain’t that something? Perhaps a fancy thank you could be thrown somewhere in this paragraph too. Anything to make you think it’s the end paragraph but it isn’t really the ending paragraph.
For the real end paragraph, I’d like to use an extra space. Really draw attention to the fact that this is very much the end of a media piece and not baiting people into reading this last paragraph. I’ll even include a FINAL plea for teams to talk to me and give me a chance to win the championship and give me a lot of money, because those two ideas coexist very well. Against all odds this actually is the final paragraph and this is where I’m really dropping the hammer.
I am going to be testing free agency when it opens up, which is why I have already signed a contract extension with Austin for the next three seasons in the time it took people to read this free agency post, effectively making it useless. Despite the inarguable lack of use for this post I have completed the required media piece drumming up free agency interest/controversy in someone who is just going to re-sign with their old team.