[FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE]
(Austin - 28 April, 2045) Austin GM Fred Tassow called an emergency press conference today and delivered the following statement, "While reading Ian's self review, it has come to my attention just how poor Dr. Malcolm's performance has actually been over the past few seasons. In response, I have no other choice than to release Ian from his duties. In his place, I have hired Boaby the Barman, who recently stepped down from his role in Kansas City. There will be no questions."
Thank you for your help these past few seasons, @Kyle. I'm excited to continue working with you as a member of the Austin Front Office. @frazzle14, I am thrilled to bring you on board and look forward to what you and I can do with this team going forward.
Thank you to @enigmatic, @Kyamprac, @mithrandir, @Mooty99, and @Number 82 for some of the sigs in this rotator.