07-07-2021, 12:24 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-07-2021, 05:14 PM by allbetsonjames.)
Three Years On: Re-visiting the First Round of the 2042 ISFL Draft
The 2045 draft is almost upon us, and almost before the final pick is announced the Internet will be flooded with analyses of “winners and losers,” “draft grades,” and similar assessments based on the perceived value of each pick and player. However, it’s often said that a draft class can’t be judged accurately for at least three years. So in anticipation of this upcoming draft, let’s go back three years to 2042 to see who drafted well and who’d probably like to take a mulligan.
1st Overall Pick, Honolulu Hahalua
Selection: Eleven Kendrick-Watts, WR -- Northwestern/Kansas City Coyotes
839 TPE
Going into the draft the Hahalua already had a deep wide receiver room featuring Jed Podolak, William Alexander, and Lalo Salamanca. It is thought that Honolulu attempted to trade out of the first overall pick, but evidently received no offers to their liking. Honoring their philosophy of taking the best available player regardless of position, the Hahalua selected the consensus top prospect in the draft, Kansas City Coyotes wide receiver Eleven Kendrick-Watts. Unable to wrestle a starting job away from one of the more established receivers on the team, Eleven was sent back down to the DSFL for his debut season. However, he enjoyed an ISFL breakout in Season 29 with a very respectable 106 catches and over 1200 receiving yards. Despite the slow start to his career, Kendrick-Watts appears likely to become a significant part of the Honolulu offense for years to come. Still, this seems to have been a luxury pick for the Hahalua, and one wonders if they might have been better off targeting a position of greater need.
3-Year Grade -- C
2nd Pick, Baltimore Hawks
Selection: Lawrence Miller, CB -- Michigan State/Norfolk Seawolves
621 TPE
Fresh off setting the DSFL single-season record for pass deflections, Miller showed out at the ISFL Combine as a top-2 athlete among defensive backs, with fractions of points separating him from Kita Chiasa. Miller had a solid if unspectacular rookie season for the Hawks, highlighted by 3 interceptions, but in his second season he broke out with 76 tackles, 25 pass breakups, 2 picks, and 3 forced fumbles. While his TPE earning and on-field accomplishments may not quite be as lofty early in his career as some defensive players who were taken later, it’s very possible that Miller has yet to even reach his true potential. The Hawks have to be happy with their selection, and even happier in hindsight, since Chiasa proved to be a major draft bust.
3-Year Grade -- B+
3rd Pick, Philadelphia Liberty
Selection: Xander Creed, RB -- Colorado/Kansas City Coyotes
355 TPE -- Inactive
Xander Creed was tipped to be a high pick ever since he was named Offensive Rookie of the Year for the 2041 DSFL season. He put on a show at the ISFL Combine as well, showing tremendous explosiveness and athleticism by dominating the RB class in the 40, bench press, and vertical jump, and finishing third in the broad jump and shuttle run. The only setbacks were a slight stumble running the 3-cone drill and an eye-watering 3 on the Wonderlic test (although he shared this low score with half of the RBs at the Combine). Sadly, Creed would become one of the ISFL’s great “what ifs,” as a series of unfortunate events off the field forced him to take an indefinite leave of absence. While not officially retired, he seems unlikely to ever return to professional football.
3-Year Grade -- INCOMPLETE -- Xander Creed had all the tools to be an instant success in the ISFL. While the pick obviously didn’t work out, a failing grade feels unfair given the highly unusual combination of circumstances that prevented the Liberty and their fans from seeing what he could do at the highest level.
4th Pick, Berlin Fire Salamanders
Selection: Marlon Brando, DT -- Slippery Rock/London Royals
802 TPE
Marlon Brando traveled the football-to-Hollywood pipeline in the opposite of the usual direction, appearing in a few minor movie roles before choosing to focus on football full time. He was an immediate success for the Fire Salamanders, tallying 9 sacks in his rookie season and winning Defensive Rookie of the Year in a close vote over Bean Beanman, despite not being selected for the Pro Bowl. In his second year he recorded fewer sacks and TFLs but more tackles, and was an indispensable part of the defense that carried the Fire Salamanders to their first-ever Ultimus Bowl, which they ultimately lost to their expansion counterparts the New York Silverbacks. Brando appears to be on track for a long and productive career in the ISFL, and has a great chance to make his first Pro Bowl appearance next season.
3-Year Grade -- A
5th Pick, Colorado Yeti
Selection: SparkySparky Boom-Man, S -- Norfolk Seawolves/Fire Nation
766 TPE
A former #1 pick in the DSFL draft,SparkySparky distinguished himself at the ISFL Combine by handily outperforming all other safety prospects and most of the cornerbacks, despite being one of the physically largest players in the position group. There was some quiet, grumbling speculation that perhaps his prosthetic limbs produced an unfair athletic advantage, but ISFL officials deemed this not to be the case. Boom-man’s intimidating stare and ever-present pet vulture have made him a fan favorite in Colorado. What might sound like jeering after one of his trademark thunderous tackles is actually the home fans in Yeti Stadium shouting “BOOOOOOOOOMMM!” By no means a bad player, Boom-man’s performance on the field nevertheless has yet to match the expectations attached to his high draft slot. However, he noticeably improved in his second season and certainly appears to be trending in the right direction.
3-Year Grade -- B
6th Pick, San Jose Sabercats
Selection: Duke Cheeks, LB -- Georgia/London Royals
752 TPE
The Sabercats were expected to take a linebacker, but produced one of the surprises of the draft when they selected Duke Cheeks out of Georgia via the London Royals. Jim The Vampire had obliterated all other linebackers at the ISFL Combine, coming second in the bench press and sweeping the other athletic events, and the Sabercats were frequently projected to select the longtime San Diego resident. However, they ultimately produced a surprise by opting for Cheeks. After the draft, the Sabercats stated that they believed Cheeks would be a better scheme fit, and they valued his pedigree as a product of the Georgia Bulldogs linebacker factory. The Sabercats would neither confirm nor deny rumors that they had red-flagged The Vampire on their board due to concerns about his advanced age and long-term durability playing home games in the Southern California sunshine.
The selection of Cheeks over The Vampire was unexpected but proved to be a wise move, as Jim The Vampire’s unquenchable thirst for the blood of the living has resulted in significant time spent off the field following “incidents.” Meanwhile, Duke Cheeks has become a steady contributor in the Sabercats front seven. He suffered through a bit of a sophomore slump, but seems primed and ready for a third-season breakout that could put him squarely into the upper echelon of ISFL linebackers.
3-Year Grade -- B+
7th Pick, Orange County Otters
Selection: Bean Beanman, DE -- Boise State/Norfolk Seawolves
774 TPE
A former DSFL Defensive Rookie of the Year and reigning DSFL Defensive Player of the Year, Beanman was close to Eleven Kendrick-Watts as one of the top overall prospects, which made his fall to the 7th pick a surprise. The Otters ran to the podium to take full advantage, and Beanman rewarded their confidence by posting 11 sacks, 3 TFLs, and a safety on his way to the Pro Bowl as a rookie. He also finished a narrow and somewhat controversial second to Marlon Brando in Defensive Rookie of the Year voting. While his second season was not quite as outstanding, Beanman has proved that he will be an anchor of the Otters defensive line for years to come.
3-year Grade -- A
8th Pick, Yellowknife Wraiths
Selection: Kita Chiasa, CB -- UCLA/Portland Pythons
419 TPE -- Retired
Chiasa was a workout wonder at the ISFL Combine, and a toss-up with Lawrence Miller for the best overall athlete among CBs. The Wraiths were enamored with his elite athleticism, but unfortunately, Chiasa would play just two unremarkable seasons in the Northwest Territories before abruptly retiring. Despite having all the obvious physical tools, analysts speculate that Chiasa simply couldn’t adjust to the speed of the professional game. As a result, he stands out as one of the most surprising draft busts in recent memory.
3-Year Grade -- F
9th Pick, Orange County Otters
Selection: Ace Savage, RB -- Tennessee/Norfolk Seawolves
407 TPE -- Possibly retired
An immediate starter for the storied Otters franchise, Ace Savage proved to be a draft bust, amassing only 925 total yards and 10 touchdowns in two underwhelming seasons. No longer listed on the Otters’ or Seawolves’ active rosters, Savage was recently the subject of a $2,000,000 inactive player bid from Honolulu. However, his whereabouts are unclear and it seems he may have chosen to quietly walk away from the league.
3-Year Grade -- D
10th Pick, Chicago Butchers
Selection: Madison Hayes, RB -- Cambridge/Minnesota Grey Ducks
770 TPE
The English former rugby star and converted wide receiver was arguably the second-best performer among running backs at the combine, behind Xander Creed and ahead of Ace Savage. To the surprise of some analysts, the Otters still opted for Savage over Hayes at 9th overall, and in media interviews after the draft she vowed to make them regret it. Mission accomplished! Hayes scored 13 touchdowns from more than 1100 total scrimmage yards in her first season, winning ISFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. Now unquestionably the Butchers’ starting running back, Hayes is aiming for even greater success, and hopes to achieve her first 1000-rushing yard season in the coming year.
3-Year Grade -- A+
11th Pick, Baltimore Hawks
Selection: Maui Waialiki, OL -- Hawai’i/Dallas Birddogs
730 TPE -- Banned for life
This was seen as an odd selection even at the time. In an extremely shallow OL class that had just two players invited to the ISFL Combine, Waialiki was handily outperformed by Cheese Farley in every single drill, and in fact only the bench press was even close. Nevertheless, Baltimore used the 11th pick on Waialiki, while Farley became a 3rd-round pick of the Berlin Fire Salamanders. The decision almost immediately began looking worse and worse, as Waialiki proved to be a head case. Although he managed not to allow a sack, he graded out among the worst linemen in the league with a tendency to commit penalties at the worst possible times. Sent back down to the Birddogs, he announced a surprise switch to defensive end and demanded an immediate call-up at that position. However, as it turned out, Waialiki would never play another down of professional football. A bizarre scandal involving stolen draft intel leaked to the media and multiple other infractions earned Waialiki a lifetime ban from professional football. Given his controversial selection, poor play on the field, and the various illegal activities that led to his ban, Maui Waialiki goes down as one of the worst draft picks in the history of the ISFL.
3-Year Grade -- F -- Waialiki’s poor performance on the field and major character issues off it mean this pick stands out as a catastrophic failure of the Hawks’ scouting and interview process.
12th Pick, New York Silverbacks
Selection: James Wilkinson, TE -- Clemson/Bondi Beach Buccaneers
638 TPE
It was a toss-up between Wilkinson and Borgo San Lorenzo (who went to the Liberty 4 picks later) for the title of top TE prospect in the draft. Both lit up the Combine with athletic scores that lapped the rest of the TE class. The Silverbacks preferred Wilkinson based on his superior Wonderlic score and significantly higher bench press. They surely feel vindicated in that assessment; San Lorenzo has mostly lived up to expectations, but the big Clemson product has exceeded him in every major statistical category thus far. His receiving numbers have been solid, and Wilkinson has also developed a reputation as a ferocious blocker, with 50 pancakes to his credit in his most recent season. With Wilkinson playing a key role in their offense, the Silverbacks won the Season 29 Ultimus, their first as an expansion franchise.
3-Year Grade -- A
13th Pick, Austin Copperheads
Selection: Candice D. Fitinyomouf, DT -- Texas A&M/Norfolk Seawolves
598 TPE
An unusual draft prospect to say the least, most teams didn’t quite know what to make of Candice D. Fitinyomouf, a shambling mound of scalding tomato sauce, piping hot pepperoni, and molten mozzarella. Notably, several training staffs raised concerns about their ability to adequately treat potential future injuries to Fitinyomouf, citing a lack of familiarity with the player’s amorphous, semi-humanoid anatomy. Pre-draft interviews with Fitinyomouf also proved to be a challenge, as they only speak at a volume consistently described as a “roar,” and ignored multiple requests to use fewer profanities in answering questions.
The Copperheads were undaunted by Fitinyomouf’s unusual intangibles and drafted them with the 13th pick, stating after the draft that their strong combine performance and brimming confidence had convinced the organization that its coaching staff would be able to develop the unconventional but clearly talented player. The statistical production has yet to match the talent, but Fitinyomouf has proven themself as a space-eating nose tackle known for taking on double teams to free teammates for sacks and TFLs. He is also known for his small but devoted fan club of Copperheads fans who sit in Section 135 of Austin Stadium, which they have dubbed “The Pizzeria.”
3-Year Grade -- B
14th Pick, Arizona Outlaws
Selection: Fergus Callaghan, Jr., DT -- Montana State/London Royals
498 TPE
The Outlaws closed out the first round by selecting Fergus Callaghan, Jr., the last of four defensive line prospects who left the ISFL Combine with 1st-Round grades to be drafted. The Outlaws were reportedly relieved that the Copperheads selected Fitinyomouf rather than Callaghan, who, according to rumor, the Outlaws had graded significantly higher. The organization refused to comment on this, but there were obvious celebrations seen on camera in the Arizona war room even before their choice of Callaghan was announced. The Outlaws chose to send Callaghan down to the DSFL for his rookie season, and he made his ISFL debut in Season 29, contributing 4 sacks and 22 tackles. The Outlaws remain bullish on Callaghan’s potential, but so far the fiery Bostonian has been the least productive of the four 1st-round defensive linemen, suggesting that perhaps other teams’ scouts were more accurate in their assessments than Arizona’s.
3-Year Grade -- C
22nd Pick, New Orleans Second Line
Selection: Kevin Morrison, LB -- Ohio State/Portland Pythons
341 TPE
The Second Line’s first pick of the draft was another surprise at linebacker, opting for former Ohio State Buckeye Kevin Morrison rather than Combine standout Jim the Vampire. Morrison’s dominant performance in the bench press at the Combine (43 reps to The Vampire’s 36) reportedly wowed the New Orleans scouts, who were looking for strength up the middle of their front seven. Morrison had a promising rookie season in New Orleans, but struggled in his second year after he showed up to training camp significantly overweight and couldn’t seem to shed the extra pounds. After discussing the problem with his coaching staff, Morrison decided to make a position switch to DT, where the mass he was cultivating would be an asset and he could make better use of his incredible strength. While ultimately he can’t be called a draft success at linebacker, switching positions might be just the thing to help Morrison reach his full potential within the Second Line defense.
3-Year Grade -- C+
23rd Pick, Sarasota Sailfish
Selection: Giovanni Bianchi, RB -- Missouri/Portland Pythons
543 TPE
The Sailfish picked up perhaps the draft’s best feel-good story when they selected recently-naturalized American citizen Gio Bianchi with their first selection. While his Combine numbers put him in the lower tier of available running backs, Sarasota’s scouts were impressed with his story. He came to the United States as a child, when he and his family were dead broke and spoke no English. Bianchi credited that childhood for giving him the tough, grind-it-out attitude that impressed the Sailfish scouts. Although he has yet to exceed 500 yards in a season, Sarasota is known to be very high on his potential and we could see him break out as a true “bell-cow” for the ‘Fish in this upcoming year. With two of the running backs drafted ahead of him already out of the league, and two others back in the DSFL, the once-overlooked Italian has a case as the best running back not named Madison Hayes to come out of this 2042 class.
3-Year Grade -- A
The 2045 draft is almost upon us, and almost before the final pick is announced the Internet will be flooded with analyses of “winners and losers,” “draft grades,” and similar assessments based on the perceived value of each pick and player. However, it’s often said that a draft class can’t be judged accurately for at least three years. So in anticipation of this upcoming draft, let’s go back three years to 2042 to see who drafted well and who’d probably like to take a mulligan.
1st Overall Pick, Honolulu Hahalua
Selection: Eleven Kendrick-Watts, WR -- Northwestern/Kansas City Coyotes
839 TPE
Going into the draft the Hahalua already had a deep wide receiver room featuring Jed Podolak, William Alexander, and Lalo Salamanca. It is thought that Honolulu attempted to trade out of the first overall pick, but evidently received no offers to their liking. Honoring their philosophy of taking the best available player regardless of position, the Hahalua selected the consensus top prospect in the draft, Kansas City Coyotes wide receiver Eleven Kendrick-Watts. Unable to wrestle a starting job away from one of the more established receivers on the team, Eleven was sent back down to the DSFL for his debut season. However, he enjoyed an ISFL breakout in Season 29 with a very respectable 106 catches and over 1200 receiving yards. Despite the slow start to his career, Kendrick-Watts appears likely to become a significant part of the Honolulu offense for years to come. Still, this seems to have been a luxury pick for the Hahalua, and one wonders if they might have been better off targeting a position of greater need.
3-Year Grade -- C
2nd Pick, Baltimore Hawks
Selection: Lawrence Miller, CB -- Michigan State/Norfolk Seawolves
621 TPE
Fresh off setting the DSFL single-season record for pass deflections, Miller showed out at the ISFL Combine as a top-2 athlete among defensive backs, with fractions of points separating him from Kita Chiasa. Miller had a solid if unspectacular rookie season for the Hawks, highlighted by 3 interceptions, but in his second season he broke out with 76 tackles, 25 pass breakups, 2 picks, and 3 forced fumbles. While his TPE earning and on-field accomplishments may not quite be as lofty early in his career as some defensive players who were taken later, it’s very possible that Miller has yet to even reach his true potential. The Hawks have to be happy with their selection, and even happier in hindsight, since Chiasa proved to be a major draft bust.
3-Year Grade -- B+
3rd Pick, Philadelphia Liberty
Selection: Xander Creed, RB -- Colorado/Kansas City Coyotes
355 TPE -- Inactive
Xander Creed was tipped to be a high pick ever since he was named Offensive Rookie of the Year for the 2041 DSFL season. He put on a show at the ISFL Combine as well, showing tremendous explosiveness and athleticism by dominating the RB class in the 40, bench press, and vertical jump, and finishing third in the broad jump and shuttle run. The only setbacks were a slight stumble running the 3-cone drill and an eye-watering 3 on the Wonderlic test (although he shared this low score with half of the RBs at the Combine). Sadly, Creed would become one of the ISFL’s great “what ifs,” as a series of unfortunate events off the field forced him to take an indefinite leave of absence. While not officially retired, he seems unlikely to ever return to professional football.
3-Year Grade -- INCOMPLETE -- Xander Creed had all the tools to be an instant success in the ISFL. While the pick obviously didn’t work out, a failing grade feels unfair given the highly unusual combination of circumstances that prevented the Liberty and their fans from seeing what he could do at the highest level.
4th Pick, Berlin Fire Salamanders
Selection: Marlon Brando, DT -- Slippery Rock/London Royals
802 TPE
Marlon Brando traveled the football-to-Hollywood pipeline in the opposite of the usual direction, appearing in a few minor movie roles before choosing to focus on football full time. He was an immediate success for the Fire Salamanders, tallying 9 sacks in his rookie season and winning Defensive Rookie of the Year in a close vote over Bean Beanman, despite not being selected for the Pro Bowl. In his second year he recorded fewer sacks and TFLs but more tackles, and was an indispensable part of the defense that carried the Fire Salamanders to their first-ever Ultimus Bowl, which they ultimately lost to their expansion counterparts the New York Silverbacks. Brando appears to be on track for a long and productive career in the ISFL, and has a great chance to make his first Pro Bowl appearance next season.
3-Year Grade -- A
5th Pick, Colorado Yeti
Selection: SparkySparky Boom-Man, S -- Norfolk Seawolves/Fire Nation
766 TPE
A former #1 pick in the DSFL draft,SparkySparky distinguished himself at the ISFL Combine by handily outperforming all other safety prospects and most of the cornerbacks, despite being one of the physically largest players in the position group. There was some quiet, grumbling speculation that perhaps his prosthetic limbs produced an unfair athletic advantage, but ISFL officials deemed this not to be the case. Boom-man’s intimidating stare and ever-present pet vulture have made him a fan favorite in Colorado. What might sound like jeering after one of his trademark thunderous tackles is actually the home fans in Yeti Stadium shouting “BOOOOOOOOOMMM!” By no means a bad player, Boom-man’s performance on the field nevertheless has yet to match the expectations attached to his high draft slot. However, he noticeably improved in his second season and certainly appears to be trending in the right direction.
3-Year Grade -- B
6th Pick, San Jose Sabercats
Selection: Duke Cheeks, LB -- Georgia/London Royals
752 TPE
The Sabercats were expected to take a linebacker, but produced one of the surprises of the draft when they selected Duke Cheeks out of Georgia via the London Royals. Jim The Vampire had obliterated all other linebackers at the ISFL Combine, coming second in the bench press and sweeping the other athletic events, and the Sabercats were frequently projected to select the longtime San Diego resident. However, they ultimately produced a surprise by opting for Cheeks. After the draft, the Sabercats stated that they believed Cheeks would be a better scheme fit, and they valued his pedigree as a product of the Georgia Bulldogs linebacker factory. The Sabercats would neither confirm nor deny rumors that they had red-flagged The Vampire on their board due to concerns about his advanced age and long-term durability playing home games in the Southern California sunshine.
The selection of Cheeks over The Vampire was unexpected but proved to be a wise move, as Jim The Vampire’s unquenchable thirst for the blood of the living has resulted in significant time spent off the field following “incidents.” Meanwhile, Duke Cheeks has become a steady contributor in the Sabercats front seven. He suffered through a bit of a sophomore slump, but seems primed and ready for a third-season breakout that could put him squarely into the upper echelon of ISFL linebackers.
3-Year Grade -- B+
7th Pick, Orange County Otters
Selection: Bean Beanman, DE -- Boise State/Norfolk Seawolves
774 TPE
A former DSFL Defensive Rookie of the Year and reigning DSFL Defensive Player of the Year, Beanman was close to Eleven Kendrick-Watts as one of the top overall prospects, which made his fall to the 7th pick a surprise. The Otters ran to the podium to take full advantage, and Beanman rewarded their confidence by posting 11 sacks, 3 TFLs, and a safety on his way to the Pro Bowl as a rookie. He also finished a narrow and somewhat controversial second to Marlon Brando in Defensive Rookie of the Year voting. While his second season was not quite as outstanding, Beanman has proved that he will be an anchor of the Otters defensive line for years to come.
3-year Grade -- A
8th Pick, Yellowknife Wraiths
Selection: Kita Chiasa, CB -- UCLA/Portland Pythons
419 TPE -- Retired
Chiasa was a workout wonder at the ISFL Combine, and a toss-up with Lawrence Miller for the best overall athlete among CBs. The Wraiths were enamored with his elite athleticism, but unfortunately, Chiasa would play just two unremarkable seasons in the Northwest Territories before abruptly retiring. Despite having all the obvious physical tools, analysts speculate that Chiasa simply couldn’t adjust to the speed of the professional game. As a result, he stands out as one of the most surprising draft busts in recent memory.
3-Year Grade -- F
9th Pick, Orange County Otters
Selection: Ace Savage, RB -- Tennessee/Norfolk Seawolves
407 TPE -- Possibly retired
An immediate starter for the storied Otters franchise, Ace Savage proved to be a draft bust, amassing only 925 total yards and 10 touchdowns in two underwhelming seasons. No longer listed on the Otters’ or Seawolves’ active rosters, Savage was recently the subject of a $2,000,000 inactive player bid from Honolulu. However, his whereabouts are unclear and it seems he may have chosen to quietly walk away from the league.
3-Year Grade -- D
10th Pick, Chicago Butchers
Selection: Madison Hayes, RB -- Cambridge/Minnesota Grey Ducks
770 TPE
The English former rugby star and converted wide receiver was arguably the second-best performer among running backs at the combine, behind Xander Creed and ahead of Ace Savage. To the surprise of some analysts, the Otters still opted for Savage over Hayes at 9th overall, and in media interviews after the draft she vowed to make them regret it. Mission accomplished! Hayes scored 13 touchdowns from more than 1100 total scrimmage yards in her first season, winning ISFL Offensive Rookie of the Year. Now unquestionably the Butchers’ starting running back, Hayes is aiming for even greater success, and hopes to achieve her first 1000-rushing yard season in the coming year.
3-Year Grade -- A+
11th Pick, Baltimore Hawks
Selection: Maui Waialiki, OL -- Hawai’i/Dallas Birddogs
730 TPE -- Banned for life
This was seen as an odd selection even at the time. In an extremely shallow OL class that had just two players invited to the ISFL Combine, Waialiki was handily outperformed by Cheese Farley in every single drill, and in fact only the bench press was even close. Nevertheless, Baltimore used the 11th pick on Waialiki, while Farley became a 3rd-round pick of the Berlin Fire Salamanders. The decision almost immediately began looking worse and worse, as Waialiki proved to be a head case. Although he managed not to allow a sack, he graded out among the worst linemen in the league with a tendency to commit penalties at the worst possible times. Sent back down to the Birddogs, he announced a surprise switch to defensive end and demanded an immediate call-up at that position. However, as it turned out, Waialiki would never play another down of professional football. A bizarre scandal involving stolen draft intel leaked to the media and multiple other infractions earned Waialiki a lifetime ban from professional football. Given his controversial selection, poor play on the field, and the various illegal activities that led to his ban, Maui Waialiki goes down as one of the worst draft picks in the history of the ISFL.
3-Year Grade -- F -- Waialiki’s poor performance on the field and major character issues off it mean this pick stands out as a catastrophic failure of the Hawks’ scouting and interview process.
12th Pick, New York Silverbacks
Selection: James Wilkinson, TE -- Clemson/Bondi Beach Buccaneers
638 TPE
It was a toss-up between Wilkinson and Borgo San Lorenzo (who went to the Liberty 4 picks later) for the title of top TE prospect in the draft. Both lit up the Combine with athletic scores that lapped the rest of the TE class. The Silverbacks preferred Wilkinson based on his superior Wonderlic score and significantly higher bench press. They surely feel vindicated in that assessment; San Lorenzo has mostly lived up to expectations, but the big Clemson product has exceeded him in every major statistical category thus far. His receiving numbers have been solid, and Wilkinson has also developed a reputation as a ferocious blocker, with 50 pancakes to his credit in his most recent season. With Wilkinson playing a key role in their offense, the Silverbacks won the Season 29 Ultimus, their first as an expansion franchise.
3-Year Grade -- A
13th Pick, Austin Copperheads
Selection: Candice D. Fitinyomouf, DT -- Texas A&M/Norfolk Seawolves
598 TPE
An unusual draft prospect to say the least, most teams didn’t quite know what to make of Candice D. Fitinyomouf, a shambling mound of scalding tomato sauce, piping hot pepperoni, and molten mozzarella. Notably, several training staffs raised concerns about their ability to adequately treat potential future injuries to Fitinyomouf, citing a lack of familiarity with the player’s amorphous, semi-humanoid anatomy. Pre-draft interviews with Fitinyomouf also proved to be a challenge, as they only speak at a volume consistently described as a “roar,” and ignored multiple requests to use fewer profanities in answering questions.
The Copperheads were undaunted by Fitinyomouf’s unusual intangibles and drafted them with the 13th pick, stating after the draft that their strong combine performance and brimming confidence had convinced the organization that its coaching staff would be able to develop the unconventional but clearly talented player. The statistical production has yet to match the talent, but Fitinyomouf has proven themself as a space-eating nose tackle known for taking on double teams to free teammates for sacks and TFLs. He is also known for his small but devoted fan club of Copperheads fans who sit in Section 135 of Austin Stadium, which they have dubbed “The Pizzeria.”
3-Year Grade -- B
14th Pick, Arizona Outlaws
Selection: Fergus Callaghan, Jr., DT -- Montana State/London Royals
498 TPE
The Outlaws closed out the first round by selecting Fergus Callaghan, Jr., the last of four defensive line prospects who left the ISFL Combine with 1st-Round grades to be drafted. The Outlaws were reportedly relieved that the Copperheads selected Fitinyomouf rather than Callaghan, who, according to rumor, the Outlaws had graded significantly higher. The organization refused to comment on this, but there were obvious celebrations seen on camera in the Arizona war room even before their choice of Callaghan was announced. The Outlaws chose to send Callaghan down to the DSFL for his rookie season, and he made his ISFL debut in Season 29, contributing 4 sacks and 22 tackles. The Outlaws remain bullish on Callaghan’s potential, but so far the fiery Bostonian has been the least productive of the four 1st-round defensive linemen, suggesting that perhaps other teams’ scouts were more accurate in their assessments than Arizona’s.
3-Year Grade -- C
22nd Pick, New Orleans Second Line
Selection: Kevin Morrison, LB -- Ohio State/Portland Pythons
341 TPE
The Second Line’s first pick of the draft was another surprise at linebacker, opting for former Ohio State Buckeye Kevin Morrison rather than Combine standout Jim the Vampire. Morrison’s dominant performance in the bench press at the Combine (43 reps to The Vampire’s 36) reportedly wowed the New Orleans scouts, who were looking for strength up the middle of their front seven. Morrison had a promising rookie season in New Orleans, but struggled in his second year after he showed up to training camp significantly overweight and couldn’t seem to shed the extra pounds. After discussing the problem with his coaching staff, Morrison decided to make a position switch to DT, where the mass he was cultivating would be an asset and he could make better use of his incredible strength. While ultimately he can’t be called a draft success at linebacker, switching positions might be just the thing to help Morrison reach his full potential within the Second Line defense.
3-Year Grade -- C+
23rd Pick, Sarasota Sailfish
Selection: Giovanni Bianchi, RB -- Missouri/Portland Pythons
543 TPE
The Sailfish picked up perhaps the draft’s best feel-good story when they selected recently-naturalized American citizen Gio Bianchi with their first selection. While his Combine numbers put him in the lower tier of available running backs, Sarasota’s scouts were impressed with his story. He came to the United States as a child, when he and his family were dead broke and spoke no English. Bianchi credited that childhood for giving him the tough, grind-it-out attitude that impressed the Sailfish scouts. Although he has yet to exceed 500 yards in a season, Sarasota is known to be very high on his potential and we could see him break out as a true “bell-cow” for the ‘Fish in this upcoming year. With two of the running backs drafted ahead of him already out of the league, and two others back in the DSFL, the once-overlooked Italian has a case as the best running back not named Madison Hayes to come out of this 2042 class.
3-Year Grade -- A