*A Painfully Inaccurate Mock

[Reno]

(1515 Words)

My Attempt At A Mock
By: Tessie Garciaparra

Well this feels kind of weird. I’m in this draft class so I wasn’t actually going to do a mock draft, but then there was a brick thrown through my window last night that said “do a mock draft or more bricks will come.” While I’m pretty sure that’s Tree threatening my existence, I figured it wouldn’t be an awful idea to try and attempt to do something. Zero guarantees on accuracy but I’ll do the best I can, please don’t hurt me.

#1 Overall – Baltimore Hawks – Morpheus Czargyros – DE – TPE 262
When you have a lot of holes to fill where do you go? When in doubt, take steps towards building a good defense. Baltimore has some solid pieces on defense so far; Sheriff Woody, Tre’Mendus Johnson and Chunt The Badger who are all young, earning, and developing quite well. The reason for Morpheus over a defensive back here is the Baltimore secondary is quite young and developing. There’s some optimism about the future in Baltimore and it starts with that defense.

#2 Overall – San Jose Sabercats – Malcolm Savage – QB – TPE 256
I agree with Southie’s prediction of a quarterback at #2 here (make sure to peep that mock draft, its pretty good), but I’m going with Malcolm Savage over Wendell Sailor here at 2. Both users are great earners, and both have money to spend for the future. With the husk of Jack at QB the time is now for the future, and San Jose brings back a former player here in Moosey for round two with the derpcats. The first tenure had some Ultimus wins along the way so I wonder if we’ll see a repeat of history.

#3 Overall – Philadelphia Liberty – Cedric Wilkins II – CB – TPE 280
Another dedicated user, another great earner, Philly gets a huge benefit by a position of need falling to them by other teams having more pressing holes. Wilkins II is a franchise caliber corner with the tools to help make that defense better. The cornerbacks on Philadelphia are a bit sketchy in their current state, so Wilkins II will inject a lot of life into that squad and make them into something quarterbacks will fear for seasons to come.

#4 Overall – New Orleans Secondline – Sconnie McHits – LB – TPE 250
The NOLA linebacking core is a bit of a mixed bag. Vincent Jones is a rock, Sir Peter Jackson is slowly gearing up to take over for him once regression hits in a few seasons. But two great linebackers isn’t really enough, that’s where Sconnie comes in. The kicker turned linebacker has a real knack for forcing fumbles and crushing skulls, making for a brutal front 7 member that’s going to do some damage down the line.

#5 Overall – Chicago Butchers – Omni Man – LB – TPE 280
LimJahey is well known in Chicago. Von Hayes was a huge piece of that defense after switching over from Tight End and was a huge reason why it was as successful as it was. With a chance here to grab a living legend from their past and get them for another run for a career? Sign me up. Well sign them up technically. The Chicago linebacking core isn’t terrible; Domine is a monster but is starting to regress, Gleel is good but will be regressing next season, and Hall is still getting better. Adding in Omni Man is incredible for their future as he will earn and has that graphics head job for that cushy bank account to boot.

#6 Overall – Honolulu Hahalua – Orpheus Czargyros – LB – TPE 275
I think this is too good value here at 6 if he falls. HEOB is too good of a user to pass up on here, earning like crazy and has had several great players in this league. Honolulu goes best player (user?) available here regardless of position of need. This is the kind of player you might tweak your defensive structure around to make them work rather than draft them because of scheme fit. A great person as well who’s been hyping up all the prospects for this draft, a spark in the locker room is a great gift.

#7 Overall – Colorado Yeti – Kotoni Staggs – WR – TPE 294
Colorado has a decent wide out group already, but Lim is declining pretty rapidly and a replacement will have to come sooner rather than later. Staggs is a monster in terms of earning so far and should be an easy replacement in a few seasons. If Staggs actually falls this far this is an absolute steal for Colorado, who can simply transition from one franchise defining receiver into another.

#8 Overall – Orange County Otters – Ken Oath – RB – TPE 261
Running back isn’t exactly a huge need for Orange County right now, but incredible value is staring Orange County in the face going “hey, take me.” Orange County, who are too smart to miss this, say “Okay we’ll take you.” Oath projects as the future running back whenever its time for Goat Tank to regress into the backup role, but Oath could take over that backup slot near immediately as well. The possibilities are endless for Orange County here, lets see where they go with this.

#9 Overall – Yellowknife Wraiths – Sakeem Webb – CB – TPE 284
A pretty heavy cornerback class here, Sakeem is another name in a hyper competitive class which means that some teams will be getting some solid value here in the later picks of the 1st round. Webb has earned well, made a bunch of graphics to boost that bank account a little, and overall has been a solid presence in the league going forward. Might be luxury goods at this point for Yellowknife but when you’re staring down a talent like this with the ethic to match, you’re in good company.

#10 Overall – Austin Copperheads – DeCarr Rek – LB – TPE 235
There’s a chance that Tessie Garciaparra could go here, but based on their awkward history with Austin I feel like there’s a chance that they might want to avoid her this time around to play it safe with this pick. DeCarr projects as a future nice linebacker to add to the rotational pass rush in the short term and in the long term could be a franchise defining anchor on that defense. Austin goes for the viciousness of the player here to match that patented Copperhead bite.

#11 Overall – Berlin Fire Salamander – Wendell Sailor – QB – TPE 306
The second quarterback of the first round goes here with Sailor. Berlin needs a future QB with Kapercoin starting to regress semi-heavily, and there’s a good past here. Simo has spent time with Berlin before and looks to continue to do so with another player this time around. A great earner with a big bank account, Sailor will take over in due time as Berlin goes from one great QB to another future amazing QB. Awesome value here.

#12 Overall – New York Silverbacks – Nick Kaepercolin Jr – LB – TPE 244
A lot of linebackers this draft, not sure how to feel about that one to be honest. Kaepercolin comes off a good career as the Berlin quarterback, and now is going to sack quarterbacks in this lifetime instead. When you’re a team without many holes you can address this draft you either just take best player available and make it work or you trade down. I can realistically see a trade down here from a team trying to jump back in, but I’m too lazy to do trades. New York takes best player available and adds to an already awesome linebacker core, and either gets a trade piece or an amazing insurance policy if something happens to one of the starters now.

#13 Overall – Arizona Outlaws – Tessie Garciaparra – CB – TPE 267
I’ll mock myself here, this just feels right. I’ve had some decent pre-draft interviews with this team and I feel like they’ll take the gamble on me here. Been doing decently well so far, not the best earner in my class but dangit I’m trying. This is really just a pick so that Z-Whiz can have some leverage over me in SHL, but hey I’ll take it he smells nice.

#14 Overall – Sarasota Savages – Jaycee Higgins – WR – TPE 266
Being the best team often means lower end talent with your picks, not the case at all here with Higgins. The entire reason I feel Higgins will fall is the insane level of defensive talent in this draft class in a league that always needs more defensive players. This is a player that would be going top seven in most classes. Net is dedicated, will work his butt off to earn well, and is an awesome locker room presence. The effort is there, Sarasota gets a franchise wide out this late in the draft.

Will any of this be accurate? Probably not. But that’s the fun of mock drafts, you take your guesses and there’s no punishment if you’re wrong. Plus it shows who should and who shouldn’t be talent scouts which is probably for the best.

[MN_Moosey]

The sheer lack of research is impressive. Really gonna make some people push up their glasses and go "actually _".

[Reno]

Hey now, I actually did research on potential team needs and TPE rankings in classes and stuff.

That being said, I probably should have checked to see who's actually a GM.............

[zaynzk]

@Highhaschdi

:eyes:

[Crodyman]

gleel good

[Net]

#14 Overall – Sarasota Savages – Jaycee Higgins – WR – TPE 266
Being the best team often means lower end talent with your picks, not the case at all here with Higgins. The entire reason I feel Higgins will fall is the insane level of defensive talent in this draft class in a league that always needs more defensive players. This is a player that would be going top seven in most classes. Net is dedicated, will work his butt off to earn well, and is an awesome locker room presence. The effort is there, Sarasota gets a franchise wide out this late in the draft.

Thanks Reno, I couldn't be who I am without you in KC

[LeatherneckMike]

Renojackson more like Renojunkson

[C9Van]

Is this the correct thread @pauadrian ? Hopefully.

These are wrong.