BILLS BULLSHIT
Bill’s Bullshit is a daily journal of William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive’s life in which he vents about the things in his daily life that cause him some irritations or annoyances. Once a day he will write about these things in hopes of getting his anger out on pages instead of the football field.
09/29/21
Entry 7:
So after the game today, I headed straight home as I was throwing a BBQ that night for the people on my team. But wouldn’t you believe it, I was in such a rush after the game that I had completely forgotten my house key in my locker back at the stadium. Unfortunately I didn’t realize until I had already gotten home and with the traffic on the freeway it had taken me two hours to get here from the stadium. Since it was still rush hour, it was going to take me another two hours to get to the stadium if I left immediately. Knowing that would mean I would have to push the time of the BBQ back a couple of hours, I instead tried finding a window or unlocked door I could open. Unfortunately the whole house was completely locked and the only way to get in would be to get the key. The windows were bullet proof since I live in the hood and I have steel doors and an expensive alarm system. So I got right into my car and began my journey back to the stadium. In my rush I had completely forgotten that my house keys were attached to my ID card that gave my access to the stadium. I tried to get ahold of someone on the phone that could possibly let me into the stadium but I couldn’t get anyone on the phone. I knew I wad screwed. I arrived at the stadium late at night and there was no one in sight. I looked around and eventually found a security guard. I begged and pleased to him to let me in, but he didn’t believe me that I was on the football team and believed it was more likely I was a bum looking to break in. After arguing and fighting with him for a good half hour, I broke his eye socket and made my way back to my car. I was going to have to sleep at the stadium parking lot in my cramped little car. Oh crap. The following morning I was awoken to a loud, thunderous roar. It was a big, fancy car that had pulled into the spot next to mines. I stare at the car in total amazement as I had never seen a car so fancy in my whole life. The suicide doors open from the back seat and out comes Bender Rodriguez. It was 4:00am and this man was getting to the stadium accompanied by two sexy ladies of the night. Well, actually if these chicks were ever sexy, it was at least one drinking problem, three kids and a C-section scar ago. Bender headed into the stadium with one lady under each arm talking about “I’m about to get an extra rough workout in!” That man is my role-mode and hero. If ever I feel too tired or unmotivated to workout, I’m going to always remember this moment and become instantly inspired to become the best player and the best person I can be.
Bill’s Bullshit is a daily journal of William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive’s life in which he vents about the things in his daily life that cause him some irritations or annoyances. Once a day he will write about these things in hopes of getting his anger out on pages instead of the football field.
09/29/21
Entry 7:
So after the game today, I headed straight home as I was throwing a BBQ that night for the people on my team. But wouldn’t you believe it, I was in such a rush after the game that I had completely forgotten my house key in my locker back at the stadium. Unfortunately I didn’t realize until I had already gotten home and with the traffic on the freeway it had taken me two hours to get here from the stadium. Since it was still rush hour, it was going to take me another two hours to get to the stadium if I left immediately. Knowing that would mean I would have to push the time of the BBQ back a couple of hours, I instead tried finding a window or unlocked door I could open. Unfortunately the whole house was completely locked and the only way to get in would be to get the key. The windows were bullet proof since I live in the hood and I have steel doors and an expensive alarm system. So I got right into my car and began my journey back to the stadium. In my rush I had completely forgotten that my house keys were attached to my ID card that gave my access to the stadium. I tried to get ahold of someone on the phone that could possibly let me into the stadium but I couldn’t get anyone on the phone. I knew I wad screwed. I arrived at the stadium late at night and there was no one in sight. I looked around and eventually found a security guard. I begged and pleased to him to let me in, but he didn’t believe me that I was on the football team and believed it was more likely I was a bum looking to break in. After arguing and fighting with him for a good half hour, I broke his eye socket and made my way back to my car. I was going to have to sleep at the stadium parking lot in my cramped little car. Oh crap. The following morning I was awoken to a loud, thunderous roar. It was a big, fancy car that had pulled into the spot next to mines. I stare at the car in total amazement as I had never seen a car so fancy in my whole life. The suicide doors open from the back seat and out comes Bender Rodriguez. It was 4:00am and this man was getting to the stadium accompanied by two sexy ladies of the night. Well, actually if these chicks were ever sexy, it was at least one drinking problem, three kids and a C-section scar ago. Bender headed into the stadium with one lady under each arm talking about “I’m about to get an extra rough workout in!” That man is my role-mode and hero. If ever I feel too tired or unmotivated to workout, I’m going to always remember this moment and become instantly inspired to become the best player and the best person I can be.
“My name is Dauterive comma Bill, I am also insane.”
![[Image: zsCh4Gj.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/zsCh4Gj.gif)
