BILLS BULLSHIT
Bill’s Bullshit is a daily journal of William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive’s life in which he vents about the things in his daily life that cause him some irritations or annoyances. Once a day he will write about these things in hopes of getting his anger out on pages instead of the football field.
09/30/21
Entry 8:
I don’t think I have the words to describe my frustrations I’m having with some of my teammates. Everything was going great today at practice, everyone was fired up and we were all playing balls the wall. We had a big game the next day and we needed a good strong practice to prepare for them appropriately. Honestly I think it was the best practice that we had all year, we were playing harder in practice than we do during games. But then after practice, in the locker room, something happened that made me lose faith and trust in my teammates. As I was changing, and I only had a towel on, one of my teammates snuck up behind me and pulled the towel away, exposing my bare naked bottom to the entire locker room. Needless to say, I was flaccid when this was all happening, so when the towel was removed, the entire team was greeted by something resembling a little knub. I was beyond embarrassed and it didn’t help that even the coaches and trainers saw what had happened and began laughing as well. It was by far the most embarrassing thing ever that had happened to me in my entire life. Everyone had immediately began bursting into tears laughing and there was nothing I could do. While everyone was distracted trying not to piss themselves laughing, I tried to quickly reach down and pick up the towel to conceal myself. Wrong move. As soon as he saw me reaching down for the towel, Bender was waiting right there behind me and began winding his own towel up. Just as I had grabbed the towel and was about to lift it up, Bender whipped me with his towel and caused a loud popping sound to occur. Now I’m not exactly sure if Bender was aiming for when he whipped me, but I had leaned over so much that the back side of my scrotum was exposed and he managed to whip me right on the left nut. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that he completely shattered my left nut. This caused the entire team to laugh even harder, many people were crying tears of laughter. I was crying as well, but for entirely different reasons. I was in such a state of pain and humiliation that I left right then and there, bare ass naked and didn’t even bring my clothes with me. That night I sat alone at home, still naked, and drank Alamo Beer until I passed out. I woke up to a plethora of texts and missed calls on my phone from several of my teammates and coaches. I thought to myself really quickly that they may have felt bad about what happened and wanted to apologize. But as soon as I opened up the first message those thoughts went right out the window. They had messaged me videos about the incident that happened the day before in the locker room. They told me they had sent it to the internet and I had already gone viral. I couldn’t believe it, betrayed by my own teammates.
Bill’s Bullshit is a daily journal of William Fontaine de La Tour Dauterive’s life in which he vents about the things in his daily life that cause him some irritations or annoyances. Once a day he will write about these things in hopes of getting his anger out on pages instead of the football field.
09/30/21
Entry 8:
I don’t think I have the words to describe my frustrations I’m having with some of my teammates. Everything was going great today at practice, everyone was fired up and we were all playing balls the wall. We had a big game the next day and we needed a good strong practice to prepare for them appropriately. Honestly I think it was the best practice that we had all year, we were playing harder in practice than we do during games. But then after practice, in the locker room, something happened that made me lose faith and trust in my teammates. As I was changing, and I only had a towel on, one of my teammates snuck up behind me and pulled the towel away, exposing my bare naked bottom to the entire locker room. Needless to say, I was flaccid when this was all happening, so when the towel was removed, the entire team was greeted by something resembling a little knub. I was beyond embarrassed and it didn’t help that even the coaches and trainers saw what had happened and began laughing as well. It was by far the most embarrassing thing ever that had happened to me in my entire life. Everyone had immediately began bursting into tears laughing and there was nothing I could do. While everyone was distracted trying not to piss themselves laughing, I tried to quickly reach down and pick up the towel to conceal myself. Wrong move. As soon as he saw me reaching down for the towel, Bender was waiting right there behind me and began winding his own towel up. Just as I had grabbed the towel and was about to lift it up, Bender whipped me with his towel and caused a loud popping sound to occur. Now I’m not exactly sure if Bender was aiming for when he whipped me, but I had leaned over so much that the back side of my scrotum was exposed and he managed to whip me right on the left nut. I’m not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that he completely shattered my left nut. This caused the entire team to laugh even harder, many people were crying tears of laughter. I was crying as well, but for entirely different reasons. I was in such a state of pain and humiliation that I left right then and there, bare ass naked and didn’t even bring my clothes with me. That night I sat alone at home, still naked, and drank Alamo Beer until I passed out. I woke up to a plethora of texts and missed calls on my phone from several of my teammates and coaches. I thought to myself really quickly that they may have felt bad about what happened and wanted to apologize. But as soon as I opened up the first message those thoughts went right out the window. They had messaged me videos about the incident that happened the day before in the locker room. They told me they had sent it to the internet and I had already gone viral. I couldn’t believe it, betrayed by my own teammates.
“My name is Dauterive comma Bill, I am also insane.”
![[Image: zsCh4Gj.gif]](https://i.imgur.com/zsCh4Gj.gif)
