Juno Hu
@j00
S32: $4,200,000 + $800,000 signing bonus
I. Juno Hu is not only legally tamperable, but such activities are highly encouraged.
II. Juno Hu is given first right of refusal for 50% of all unearned bonus money at the end of each league season.
III. No Trade Clause.
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IV. The Austin Copperheads organization bears the responsibility of supplying Juno Hu with 4oz of TIJ-branded smelling salts per week during the active season. This includes all costs, customs clearances, legal liabilities, and any/all other unforeseen complications or proceedings.
V. Juno Hu is exempt from all non-ISFL requested urine screenings, and must be provided with advanced notice of all ISFL related urine screenings.
VI. During away games, Juno Hu is to be provided with a private dormitory on the team plane and hotel, and allowed to be accompanied by up to two (2) personal attendants of his choice. These attendants do not count as "outsiders" in regards to the adjudications of team curfews.
VII. Juno Hu is exempt from any and all team activities between the hours of 12AM and 12PM.
VIII. Juno Hu is to be provided with a personal Kool-Aid branded evaporative cooler on the sidelines. His mixtape is to automatically be played on the sideline any time the ambient temperature drops below 50°F.
IX. In the event of either the end of the world or the sudden death of Juno Hu, his remaining contract money is to be paid out to [REDACTED].
X. Juno Hu is to wear a red jersey during all team padded practices.
Thank you to @enigmatic, @Kyamprac, @mithrandir, @Mooty99, and @Number 82 for some of the sigs in this rotator.