"Good evening sports fans and welcome to Sportsline. I'm your host, Fendrix Albatross and I'm here with Las Vegas Legion offensive lineman Francois Lamoreux. So, Francois, after two games in the league you've accomplished two pancake tackles, no sacks allowed, and a 15 yard penalty for unnecessary roughness against the Yeti."
"What unnecessary roughness? Francois did not know this was fuzzy dice tootie frootie leauge. Francois thought this was man's league. If I wanted to play with fish who flop on ground after ear flick I would have stayed in Eurogirl soccer league."
"So what are your draft prospects for season 3? Have you been contacted by any teams?"
"Yes, Francois has been contacted by two teams regarding whether I will play for them. There is no issue with most of the teams in the league, only with some."
"Speaking of that, your agent generated significant controversy at a SaberCats press event, would you like to clarify your view regarding the Baltimore Hawks?"
"Francois' agent has a big mouth. However Francois has a bigger mouth, le ho ho ho. Francois is new to the league, so he looks on it with fresh eyes and can say what others cannot. He can say what others wish they could say but must maintain friendly status so to enjoy sexy fun time with Hawks at sauna resort. Francois has read the commentary and I have some things to say. The Hawks say they are not responsible for having a juicing tight end. Perhaps Francois supports this view. Maybe the Hawks should have seen from week to week having a high performing tight end who is completely inactive is questionable, but Francois knows that victory is a pleasant drug which dulls the senses. Francois would say the Hawks are 5 points responsible out of 100. Only 5% is their fault which is not bad, no? But every other team has 0% responsibility for it, and they were affected."
"How can you even say the Hawks were 5% responsible? They are saying there is no way they could have known."
"I watched the Hawks-Outlaws Week 11 game. The Hawks most productive receiver was Carmel Gibson, with 7 receptions and 59 yards. A league which obsesses over each others' statistics so much must have thought it curious that a player who never attended training camps was leading their team in receiving? And they say there was no advantage to having a juiced tight end, but without him the Hawks were only barely able to beat the Liberty in overtime and lost to the lowly Otters earlier tonight."
"Still, how many GMs do you think know the TPE and statistics of all their players?"
"Very few, and Francois would not tell the GMs how to do their job. Francois can believe on six days of week that Hawks did not have an opportunity to know about their tight end's cheating. But if so, where then is the apology to the league? You do not have to be at fault to apologize. At UCLA Francois was with many girlfriends of teammates, and I apologize. It is not my fault I have animal allure but you must keep esprit de corps, no? What is worse to Francois, that a mistake was made or the aggressive efforts of the Hawks to repress any discussion of their actions and response? That is what is suspicious to Francois. My agent does talk too much and I, for one, was glad to see him put in his place at the Kittycat press event. But the Hawks perhaps do not want the integrity of their season questioned. If, somehow, they won the Ultimus Cup, Francois would always put an asterisk by their name. If a team has nothing to hide, they do not respond with such hostility."
"But isn't it natural to be upset when getting called out for something you did not do?"
"You tell Francois that he is worst offensive lineman, and I laugh and say 'perhaps now, but not tomorrow,' and I go to gym to exercise more. You say Francois has terrible team and I say 'we will see next time we face each other,' and I give inspirational locker room speech in order to rally the team. You tell Francois that his agent has big mouth and I agree and tell agent not to insult other teams and to let Francois take care of that for him. Francois does not hide from the truth, and if others want to do so then that is their right. They should just not be surprised when Francois questions their decisions."
"Do you think the league was correct in benching Carmel Gibson without imposing sanctions on the Hawks?"
"There was much discussion in the league about possible punishments. I agreed that most of them were not appropriate. You cannot replay games when players have improved over the weeks. The Hawks were quick to say they were not at fault and should not be punished. The other teams in the league were certainly not at fault and yet were already punished. The Hawks should have lost a season 3 draft pick."
"There have been comments that you are too new to the league to be calling out a team, or that you are trying to draw attention to yourself in order to be drafted."
"If Francois is good enough to play, he will be drafted. If he stays good enough he will be a starter. Francois has already heard from teams who want me on their team, so I don't think I need to draw attention. Francois fulfills an important service, I hold people accountable. There was no punishment against the Hawks, maybe that was the correct choice. I am not a front office worker. But to discourage future cavalier attitudes regarding having unfair advantages through most of a season, Francois reminds people of their errors. The view of the Hawks is 'we did not do it, it wasn't our fault, it did not matter anyway, and never bring it up again.' For something that was apparently not their fault and had no impact they sure are awfully defensive. If you ask Francois, the NSFL front office should conduct a weekly TPE audit of all Hawks players for the entirety of season 3. For those saying Francois is new to the league, that is true. There was not much time for people to prepare for Francois and now he is here. Perhaps other teams will need to step up their game."
"Thank you for joining us, good luck in next season's draft."
"What unnecessary roughness? Francois did not know this was fuzzy dice tootie frootie leauge. Francois thought this was man's league. If I wanted to play with fish who flop on ground after ear flick I would have stayed in Eurogirl soccer league."
"So what are your draft prospects for season 3? Have you been contacted by any teams?"
"Yes, Francois has been contacted by two teams regarding whether I will play for them. There is no issue with most of the teams in the league, only with some."
"Speaking of that, your agent generated significant controversy at a SaberCats press event, would you like to clarify your view regarding the Baltimore Hawks?"
"Francois' agent has a big mouth. However Francois has a bigger mouth, le ho ho ho. Francois is new to the league, so he looks on it with fresh eyes and can say what others cannot. He can say what others wish they could say but must maintain friendly status so to enjoy sexy fun time with Hawks at sauna resort. Francois has read the commentary and I have some things to say. The Hawks say they are not responsible for having a juicing tight end. Perhaps Francois supports this view. Maybe the Hawks should have seen from week to week having a high performing tight end who is completely inactive is questionable, but Francois knows that victory is a pleasant drug which dulls the senses. Francois would say the Hawks are 5 points responsible out of 100. Only 5% is their fault which is not bad, no? But every other team has 0% responsibility for it, and they were affected."
"How can you even say the Hawks were 5% responsible? They are saying there is no way they could have known."
"I watched the Hawks-Outlaws Week 11 game. The Hawks most productive receiver was Carmel Gibson, with 7 receptions and 59 yards. A league which obsesses over each others' statistics so much must have thought it curious that a player who never attended training camps was leading their team in receiving? And they say there was no advantage to having a juiced tight end, but without him the Hawks were only barely able to beat the Liberty in overtime and lost to the lowly Otters earlier tonight."
"Still, how many GMs do you think know the TPE and statistics of all their players?"
"Very few, and Francois would not tell the GMs how to do their job. Francois can believe on six days of week that Hawks did not have an opportunity to know about their tight end's cheating. But if so, where then is the apology to the league? You do not have to be at fault to apologize. At UCLA Francois was with many girlfriends of teammates, and I apologize. It is not my fault I have animal allure but you must keep esprit de corps, no? What is worse to Francois, that a mistake was made or the aggressive efforts of the Hawks to repress any discussion of their actions and response? That is what is suspicious to Francois. My agent does talk too much and I, for one, was glad to see him put in his place at the Kittycat press event. But the Hawks perhaps do not want the integrity of their season questioned. If, somehow, they won the Ultimus Cup, Francois would always put an asterisk by their name. If a team has nothing to hide, they do not respond with such hostility."
"But isn't it natural to be upset when getting called out for something you did not do?"
"You tell Francois that he is worst offensive lineman, and I laugh and say 'perhaps now, but not tomorrow,' and I go to gym to exercise more. You say Francois has terrible team and I say 'we will see next time we face each other,' and I give inspirational locker room speech in order to rally the team. You tell Francois that his agent has big mouth and I agree and tell agent not to insult other teams and to let Francois take care of that for him. Francois does not hide from the truth, and if others want to do so then that is their right. They should just not be surprised when Francois questions their decisions."
"Do you think the league was correct in benching Carmel Gibson without imposing sanctions on the Hawks?"
"There was much discussion in the league about possible punishments. I agreed that most of them were not appropriate. You cannot replay games when players have improved over the weeks. The Hawks were quick to say they were not at fault and should not be punished. The other teams in the league were certainly not at fault and yet were already punished. The Hawks should have lost a season 3 draft pick."
"There have been comments that you are too new to the league to be calling out a team, or that you are trying to draw attention to yourself in order to be drafted."
"If Francois is good enough to play, he will be drafted. If he stays good enough he will be a starter. Francois has already heard from teams who want me on their team, so I don't think I need to draw attention. Francois fulfills an important service, I hold people accountable. There was no punishment against the Hawks, maybe that was the correct choice. I am not a front office worker. But to discourage future cavalier attitudes regarding having unfair advantages through most of a season, Francois reminds people of their errors. The view of the Hawks is 'we did not do it, it wasn't our fault, it did not matter anyway, and never bring it up again.' For something that was apparently not their fault and had no impact they sure are awfully defensive. If you ask Francois, the NSFL front office should conduct a weekly TPE audit of all Hawks players for the entirety of season 3. For those saying Francois is new to the league, that is true. There was not much time for people to prepare for Francois and now he is here. Perhaps other teams will need to step up their game."
"Thank you for joining us, good luck in next season's draft."
Code:
Graded
$1 698 000