Although I haven’t hit the field as of yet, as I recently just joined the team Minnesota Greyducks, I am very excited about what I have seen with the team. We are currently sitting first place in the DSFL North with a record of 5-2. I feel that with me joining this incredible team, I will be able to help bolster my team's defensive strengths and make our secondary reach whole to a new level to the point where we have the most feared secondary unit in the league. After reviewing some of my team’s games from this season, I really do feel playing with the Minnesota Greyducks defence and see good the defensive player is will really help me excel with how good they are. I’m hoping to be able to make a significant impact right away to show everyone who I am and put a stamp on my name. My goal is to help the Minnesota Greyducks win it all this season.
Unfortunately, the main issue our team has been struggling with is that @slate AKA Peter Patterson has been slipping melatonin into the team gatorade. I found him sneaking around the parking lot of Philly's stadium on gameday with multiple bottles of extra strength naturemade melatonin, and his evil deeds had even caused him to grow a literal rat tail. We started leaving out traps of cheese, and one gamedays where we heard his signature high pitched cry of pain, those were also coincidentally games that we've won. On days that he somehow evaded the alluring smell of cheese, we lost the game. I'm not sure why Slate would be targeting us in this way specifically. Maybe he is jealous of our team spirit. Maybe he's mad we acquired @Sebster . But a villian like Slate needs no purpose. Some people just like to watch the world burn. Or the Liberty sleep. Maybe he wants to watch me sleep. Regardless, our season can only be improved if we continue to build up our defenses in the Philly stadium. I guess we could also practice more or something.
Through ten weeks of games, the Chicago Butchers are tied for 2nd on the in the NSFC with the Sarasota Sailfish. Our fishy rivals are packing the league leading defense. Together, the two sit one game behind the league leading 8-2 Baltimore Hawks. The Colorado Yeti are one game behind the two, and only two game behind the Hawks, and can’t be counted out either. At 5-5, the Philadelphia Liberty and Berlin Fire Salamanders share fifth and sixth place in the NSFC. I expect both teams are disappointed to be near the bottom in the conference, but both teams also have the necessary talent to turn it around. That being said, the Chicago Butchers have done exceptionally well to be where they are. I’d even go as far to say that we are overperforming by a decent margin given our average TPE disparity in comparison to the rest of our conference. I know the team in the sim room is working overtime to maximize the value of team, and it would seem that the results are showing in the standings.
The Yeti have had a pretty good season so far with a 6-4 record, but they still find themselves outside of the playoff picture currently, so they will need to make some improvements down the stretch if they hope to make the playoffs. Right now the Yeti are in the middle of the pack on both sides of the ball as they rank #7 in both points scored and points allowed. So this opens up room for them to improve both on offense and defense. On offense, the Yeti have been doing fairly well in the passing department, but their rushing attack averages the least amount of rushing yards per game. Part of this is due to volume as they have the lowest number of rushing attempts by a pretty good margin, but the efficiency has struggled as well as they are one of just 3 teams that are averaging less than 4 yards per carry. If the Yeti could get their rushing attack back on track, it would allow them to have a more balanced offense down the stretch which could be a difference maker. On defense, they rank #11 in rushing yards allowed per game and #13 in passing yards allowed per game, so there is room to improve in both areas. The defense has actually done pretty well in terms of points considering that they rank #13 in yards allowed per game but #7 in points allowed per game so they have employed an effective bend but don't break philosophy on defense. However, they could take the defense to the next level if they can reduce some of that yardage allowed. The Yeti have had a good season so far and if they can clean things up a bit before the final stretch, they may be poised to make a playoff run.
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So currently in Baltimore there has been quite a bit of winning happening, mostly thanks to that amazing golden hawk of ours (NOT A CULT!). There is not a lot more different we could be doing to play better as we have only 2 losses and both losses were by 5 or fewer points and with some last minute plays to really sink us in them and both were also on the road. We are playing pretty lights out so we really need to keep relying on our play calling, our stout defense, and our massive depth with playmakers across the board. Defense has been lights out all season so I expect them to keep doing their thing barring some fluke games. Gimmy, while an INT machine at times, also throws a ton of yards and TDs. We have 3 great WRs, 2 All Pro TEs and 2 legends at RB for him to have weapons to so we just need to keep feeding the ball to all those studs and racking up the points and wins.
177 words Zayne Dangle | Wide Receiver | Berlin Fire Salamanders
I mean ... obvious way to make the team play way better is to THROW IT TO ME.
I don't know what it is about me, but it seems like coaching staffs are just always explicitly out to get me. Is it that I'm more attractive than them? Maybe. Is it that I'm cooler than them? Maybe. It could be anything. I am that great. The issue here is, they try to hold me down, bury me, out of their intense and insatiable jealousy. First it was @Kotasa and now it's @g2019 just trying to keep me down. The MAN is trying to hold me down, like they always have. And look at it, here I am with ONE touchdown reception all season. They're in cahoots, I know it. They're trying to steal my money, suck the life out of me, destroy my bank account. They know I'm poor, like super poor, and I can't afford this kind of loss. I will never recover, guaranteed. I think this is a situation where Kotasa has possessed G and forced him into trying to destroy my career. Kotasa probably used those life force sucking cups in his hands and took the soul out of G and sent him to just keep me down. This is an outrage. This is ridiculous. And it's also evil. All this because Kotasa can't handle that he has bad breath. Maybe if he didn't have a superstition to only use a toothbrush when he gets interceptions he wouldn't have such gross breath. Anyway, the world is out to get me and so I will OVERCOME on my OWN, as usual. First step, mixing mouthwash and garlic, second step, sending it to Kotasa, third step ... oh he would never use mouthwash. I'll have to figure out a new plan to steal G's soul back and get us back on track. |
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